I can’t exactly remember what I said the last time I talked about the eye doctor and such. I had an appointment in Omaha on January 5th, but I cancelled that one several weeks ago. That whole thing was just not feeling good to me. On March 1, I will become eligible for Medicare so I’m just going to wait until then before I do anything else. Two more months doesn’t seem like very long to wait. Hard to believe it’s been two years since I was declared legally blind. That happened back in October of 2008, but I didn’t start receiving disability payments from social security until March of 2009, so that’s when my two years began. You have to be disabled for two years before you can be eligible for Medicare. With Medicare I think I’ll have more freedom to go where I want, instead of letting someone else pick the doctor. So that’s where we stand on that.
Audiobook-Heaven is still humming right along. I finally got a response from another publisher. Someone from Hachette (ha-shet’) Book Group responded to one of my inquiries and said they would be willing to send me some audiobooks for review. On Friday I requested three books, and today Megan responded and said she would send them. I’ll have lots of audiobooks to keep me occupied I think.
I don’t really know what to think about Sassie. She’s just so listless since her accident last Tuesday. For the last several days, she has taken to lying on the back porch where it’s cold. She just lays there all day and all night and never comes into the house, except maybe just to poke her head in while we’re eating. Joni did some reading online and read that when dogs are in pain they seek out confined areas, and they also seek out cold places. That explains the porch. Of course, it’s pretty hard to tell just how much pain she is in. We’re still giving her soft foods, but she just isn’t very interested in eating. We always have to coax her to get her to eat anything, and she’s not drinking much water either. I feel so helpless and just don’t know what to do for her. I’ve been praying very hard for God to heal her, but I honestly don’t know how much God is willing to intervene for an animal. He created them too, didn’t He? I guess that’s all I can do, keep praying and hope for a miracle.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. NIV
Showing posts with label 2009. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2009. Show all posts
Monday, January 10, 2011
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Churches pt 2
Now then where was I? Oh yes, Grace church. Yes, we liked Grace church quite a lot. Grace was unlike any church I had ever been to before, not that I had been to a lot. These people were very enthusiastic about praising God. There was loud music played by a band, people would raise their arms into the air while they sang, and some people would even dance in the aisles. On our first visit to Grace, I remember thinking “I can’t go to church here, these people are nuts!” For me, church had always been a rather sombre affair. In church you were expected to sit still and keep quiet, and the music was supposed to be something you might hear at a funeral. This was very different. I had to force myself to pay close attention to everything that was going on. By the time that first worship service ended, I had discovered that it wasn’t so different after all. They preached from the same bible other churches use, and the sermon itself was very much like other sermons I had heard, although the pastor was much more emphatic than I was used to. Incidentally, the first sermon we heard at Grace was all about change. Coincidence? No, the only thing that was different about this church, was that the people were enthusiastic. They were actually excited about praising the Lord. Once I got over my initial shock, I began to realize how right that felt.
After three or four months, however, I began to notice some things that I was not sure about. They practiced speaking in tongues, which I didn't really notice at first. I had never encountered this before and didn't know what to make of it. I emailed both the pastor and the associate pastor with some questions. I couldn't really get a straight answer from either of them, although the pastor said he had done a series of sermons about that and I could get a CD copy at the church bookstore for twenty dollars. That bothered me a lot more than the tongues did. I kind of agonized over that for a while because we had really been enjoying the church. I remember talking to my sister about it and her advice was, “if it’s good for Adam, you should really consider sticking with it.” Well, she was right. Adam was excited about going each week and Joni and I were still getting something out of it too, so we stayed. Soon after that, God took the decision out of our hands anyway, as He so often does.
We began attending Grace in November of 2008, but only stayed until April of 2009. I didn’t agree with all of their practices and customs, but at Grace, I learned that it’s okay to be enthusiastic about praising God, that it’s okay to clap your hands in church and shout “Amen!" if you hear something you like. That was an important step in our spiritual growth, and God picked the perfect church for us. If God had sent us to Grace church first, I don’t think we would have been ready for it, that’s why we had to spend some time at UCC first, to prepare us for the next step.
That was when God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So to Nebraska we came. We took a couple of weeks to settle in before beginning our search for a new church. In the meantime, we visited my old Baptist church, where my mother and sister still attend regularly. It was great coming home to the old church and hearing all the familiar voices, but we knew we wouldn’t be attending there regularly. It is very much a traditional church and we had become accustomed to the contemporary. After we had settled into our new home, we began our search.
The first church we visited was another Baptist church. It was a blend of the traditional and the contemporary. The pastor gave a pretty good sermon, but brr! It was chilly in there, and I don’t mean the temperature. The second church was better, the people were friendly, but we just weren’t sure. We decided to look a little further.
Our third try was a success. At the Evangelical Free church in Kearney, we found Friendly people, powerful sermons, and a strong commitment to youth. More importantly, it just felt right. On our second or third Sunday, the pastor announced that they would be expanding the church by building a larger sanctuary. I think any church that can do that in these economic times must be doing something right, but I don’t feel funny about the money issue there like I did at Grace. Nine months later, all three of us are still enjoying it very much.
It is clear to me that God had our growth and progress carefully mapped out. Each step of the journey, each church we have attended, has played an important part of that growth. If we had tried to go our own way or follow our own plan, I’m sure we would have bungled it quite badly. How reassuring it is to kno that God is there, guiding us and directing our path.
Well, that was a much longer story than I thought it would be! If you made it all the way through, thank you! If you happen to be looking for a church yourself, try not to fret about it too much, okay? God will lead you to the right one. And if you start to feel a little restless in your present church, give it some thought and prayer. God might be telling you that it's time for the next step.
Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Psalms 98:4-6 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; make music to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn, shout for joy before the LORD, the King.
After three or four months, however, I began to notice some things that I was not sure about. They practiced speaking in tongues, which I didn't really notice at first. I had never encountered this before and didn't know what to make of it. I emailed both the pastor and the associate pastor with some questions. I couldn't really get a straight answer from either of them, although the pastor said he had done a series of sermons about that and I could get a CD copy at the church bookstore for twenty dollars. That bothered me a lot more than the tongues did. I kind of agonized over that for a while because we had really been enjoying the church. I remember talking to my sister about it and her advice was, “if it’s good for Adam, you should really consider sticking with it.” Well, she was right. Adam was excited about going each week and Joni and I were still getting something out of it too, so we stayed. Soon after that, God took the decision out of our hands anyway, as He so often does.
We began attending Grace in November of 2008, but only stayed until April of 2009. I didn’t agree with all of their practices and customs, but at Grace, I learned that it’s okay to be enthusiastic about praising God, that it’s okay to clap your hands in church and shout “Amen!" if you hear something you like. That was an important step in our spiritual growth, and God picked the perfect church for us. If God had sent us to Grace church first, I don’t think we would have been ready for it, that’s why we had to spend some time at UCC first, to prepare us for the next step.
That was when God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So to Nebraska we came. We took a couple of weeks to settle in before beginning our search for a new church. In the meantime, we visited my old Baptist church, where my mother and sister still attend regularly. It was great coming home to the old church and hearing all the familiar voices, but we knew we wouldn’t be attending there regularly. It is very much a traditional church and we had become accustomed to the contemporary. After we had settled into our new home, we began our search.
The first church we visited was another Baptist church. It was a blend of the traditional and the contemporary. The pastor gave a pretty good sermon, but brr! It was chilly in there, and I don’t mean the temperature. The second church was better, the people were friendly, but we just weren’t sure. We decided to look a little further.
Our third try was a success. At the Evangelical Free church in Kearney, we found Friendly people, powerful sermons, and a strong commitment to youth. More importantly, it just felt right. On our second or third Sunday, the pastor announced that they would be expanding the church by building a larger sanctuary. I think any church that can do that in these economic times must be doing something right, but I don’t feel funny about the money issue there like I did at Grace. Nine months later, all three of us are still enjoying it very much.
It is clear to me that God had our growth and progress carefully mapped out. Each step of the journey, each church we have attended, has played an important part of that growth. If we had tried to go our own way or follow our own plan, I’m sure we would have bungled it quite badly. How reassuring it is to kno that God is there, guiding us and directing our path.
Well, that was a much longer story than I thought it would be! If you made it all the way through, thank you! If you happen to be looking for a church yourself, try not to fret about it too much, okay? God will lead you to the right one. And if you start to feel a little restless in your present church, give it some thought and prayer. God might be telling you that it's time for the next step.
Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Psalms 98:4-6 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; make music to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn, shout for joy before the LORD, the King.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Helping Myself
So, I recently talked about the old saying “the Lord helps those who help themselves." Like I said, that topic has been on my heart for quite a while now. I guess the reasons for that should be fairly obvious for anyone who has been following my blog, but I’m going to talk about it anyway.
I lost my eyesight very gradually, over a period of several years. In September of 2008 I lost my job. That seemed like a devastating blow at the time, but honestly, I couldn’t have kept it up much longer anyway; I was really struggling with it by then. I immediately started applying to various government agencies, including social security, for assistance.
My social security claim was approved reasonably quickly, and our application for food stamps went through with no problem. In addition to that, the Lord moved several members of my family to help us as well. All of our most basic needs were taken care of.
What I really had trouble with, was getting some type of medical coverage. Like I said, my social security claim was approved pretty fast, but there was still a six month waiting period before benefits would begin. In the meantime, I was receiving SSI, or Supplemental Security Income. While I was on SSI, I automatically qualified for Medicaid. I couldn’t get any surgery done on my eyes at this time, though, because I was still having trouble with infections. When my social security disability payments finally began in March 2009, they cancelled my medicaid with very little notice. I hadn't been aware that was going to happen.
So I started making phone calls. For several weeks, I tried to find out if I could still qualify for Medicaid, all to no avail. I just couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone. I talked to lots of different agencies and all they could tell me was “we don’t handle that.” I did find out that there are lots of different kinds of Medicaid, and that they are all handled by different agencies, but I was never able to find the correct agency for my situation. The only thing I found out for sure, was that I could not get medicare until I had been disabled for two years.
That was all back in Texas, when I lived just north of Dallas. Not a good place to be if you’re down on your luck. There are so many people looking for help, their system has become completely bogged down. I suppose it’s the same in any large city. Anyway, in April, God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So we packed up our things and, on April 26th, moved North. It was sad to leave my home of the last eight years, and it was scary leaving my eye doctor, who had been caring for my eyes almost that entire time, and who I trusted completely, but I had high hopes of being able to get more help in a less populated area.
We took a couple of weeks to settle into our new home, and then I began making phone calls again. I noticed a difference right away, I could actually reach people on the phone here and get straight answers from them. Unfortunately, the answer was still no. My social security payments, not quite enough to pay our bills, were too high for me to qualify for Medicaid. We did get food stamps though, again with no trouble at all.
Naturally, that was discouraging, but I didn’t get as discouraged as you might think. It was clear to me, that God was telling me to wait. There was really no other conclusion I could draw from this. Take a look at what happened, God provided us with everything we needed. All of our basic necessities, namely food and shelter, came to us very easily. When God decided to bring us to Nebraska, he sent my brother and his family to help us move. He helped Mom find us a great house to live in at a very reasonable cost. A house that has carried us through some very harsh storms, I might add. When we first arrived here, there were boxes of food and an envelope full of money waiting for us, all donated by Mom’s church, the church I had attended as a child. Everything we needed came to us.
I really wanted some medical coverage, though, so I could get surgery, and I would be able to see again. I tried and tried, but it just never worked out. That’s because God wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. He will always provide the things we need, but not necessarily the things we THINK we need. Our needs and God’s needs can be very different sometimes.
I still get impatient sometimes, and try to take matters into my own hands. Sevral months ago, I applied for a private insurance plan from State Farm, only to be denied once again. Too many pre-existing conditions. Even now, as I write this, I have an application in with BCBS and am waiting to hear back from them. If God is ready for this to happen, then they will approve my application. If not, then I will wait. I try to be strong and have patience, but I’m only human and I have my moments of weakness.
“The Lord helps those who help themselves?” Absolutely. I am helping myself by putting my faith in Him and trusting Him to fulfill his promises to me. He never promised to restore my eyesight, but He did promise to take care of me, as long as I have faith, and that’s good enough for me.
Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
I lost my eyesight very gradually, over a period of several years. In September of 2008 I lost my job. That seemed like a devastating blow at the time, but honestly, I couldn’t have kept it up much longer anyway; I was really struggling with it by then. I immediately started applying to various government agencies, including social security, for assistance.
My social security claim was approved reasonably quickly, and our application for food stamps went through with no problem. In addition to that, the Lord moved several members of my family to help us as well. All of our most basic needs were taken care of.
What I really had trouble with, was getting some type of medical coverage. Like I said, my social security claim was approved pretty fast, but there was still a six month waiting period before benefits would begin. In the meantime, I was receiving SSI, or Supplemental Security Income. While I was on SSI, I automatically qualified for Medicaid. I couldn’t get any surgery done on my eyes at this time, though, because I was still having trouble with infections. When my social security disability payments finally began in March 2009, they cancelled my medicaid with very little notice. I hadn't been aware that was going to happen.
So I started making phone calls. For several weeks, I tried to find out if I could still qualify for Medicaid, all to no avail. I just couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone. I talked to lots of different agencies and all they could tell me was “we don’t handle that.” I did find out that there are lots of different kinds of Medicaid, and that they are all handled by different agencies, but I was never able to find the correct agency for my situation. The only thing I found out for sure, was that I could not get medicare until I had been disabled for two years.
That was all back in Texas, when I lived just north of Dallas. Not a good place to be if you’re down on your luck. There are so many people looking for help, their system has become completely bogged down. I suppose it’s the same in any large city. Anyway, in April, God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So we packed up our things and, on April 26th, moved North. It was sad to leave my home of the last eight years, and it was scary leaving my eye doctor, who had been caring for my eyes almost that entire time, and who I trusted completely, but I had high hopes of being able to get more help in a less populated area.
We took a couple of weeks to settle into our new home, and then I began making phone calls again. I noticed a difference right away, I could actually reach people on the phone here and get straight answers from them. Unfortunately, the answer was still no. My social security payments, not quite enough to pay our bills, were too high for me to qualify for Medicaid. We did get food stamps though, again with no trouble at all.
Naturally, that was discouraging, but I didn’t get as discouraged as you might think. It was clear to me, that God was telling me to wait. There was really no other conclusion I could draw from this. Take a look at what happened, God provided us with everything we needed. All of our basic necessities, namely food and shelter, came to us very easily. When God decided to bring us to Nebraska, he sent my brother and his family to help us move. He helped Mom find us a great house to live in at a very reasonable cost. A house that has carried us through some very harsh storms, I might add. When we first arrived here, there were boxes of food and an envelope full of money waiting for us, all donated by Mom’s church, the church I had attended as a child. Everything we needed came to us.
I really wanted some medical coverage, though, so I could get surgery, and I would be able to see again. I tried and tried, but it just never worked out. That’s because God wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. He will always provide the things we need, but not necessarily the things we THINK we need. Our needs and God’s needs can be very different sometimes.
I still get impatient sometimes, and try to take matters into my own hands. Sevral months ago, I applied for a private insurance plan from State Farm, only to be denied once again. Too many pre-existing conditions. Even now, as I write this, I have an application in with BCBS and am waiting to hear back from them. If God is ready for this to happen, then they will approve my application. If not, then I will wait. I try to be strong and have patience, but I’m only human and I have my moments of weakness.
“The Lord helps those who help themselves?” Absolutely. I am helping myself by putting my faith in Him and trusting Him to fulfill his promises to me. He never promised to restore my eyesight, but He did promise to take care of me, as long as I have faith, and that’s good enough for me.
Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Going Blind pt 3
Okay, let’s see if I can wrap this up. If you’ve been following along, you’ll remember that last time I had finally gotten my cornea transplant and could see out of both eyes again after two years with only one eye.
So yeah, I was pretty happy about that. My vision was good in both eyes for the next year but after that it was all down hill.
I started getting infections again in my left eye. We would get one infection cleared up and I’d be okay for one or two or six months, but then another one would pop up. In the meantime, my right eye began to deteriorate. The keratoconus gradually progressed to the point where my hard contact lens didn’t really help any more. I couldn’t get surgery though because of the constant infections in my left eye.
My doctor had always said that she wouldn’t do surgery in either eye until both had been healthy for a whole year. After a couple of years she said maybe she would settle for six months. But it never happened, the infections just kept coming.
Over the next four years or so I gradually lost the vision in my right eye. The transplant in my left eye was holding up pretty good even with all the problems but then I started to develop a cataract in that eye.
Sometime during the early months of 2008 it got bad enough that I couldn’t read books anymore. Through it all I think this has been the hardest thing for me. I’ve always been an avid reader. I have since grown to love audio books and I thank God for them all the time, but I still miss reading.
In May of that year I had to give up driving. That was a big chunk of independence lost and was pretty hard to take. In September I lost my job. I couldn’t have done it much longer anyway though, I was really struggling with it. In October I was declared legally blind.
In April 2009 Joni, Adam and I moved up here to Nebraska. We couldn’t afford to live in Dallas on my social security. I had very little vision left by then but God left me just enough to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. In June I finally lost the last little bit remaining.
And now I am just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to see what God has planned for me.
I need cataract surgery in my left eye and a cornea transplant in the right. I can’t get either because I have no medical coverage. I’ve been denied again and again. I can’t get Medicaid because I make too much money and I can’t get medicare until I’ve been disabled for two years. Private insurance plans are too expensive and also I have a lot of pre-existing medical problems, not just my eye problems, but also asthma.
But that’s okay because I have God in my life now. He promised to take care of us and I believe Him. That makes the waiting much easier to bear. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again. And what a glorious day that will be! I know I still have some things to figure out before that happens though, and I am doing my best to learn them.
I think that’s what this blog is all about. God wanted me to document what’s happening so that lots of people can bear witness. So the sooner you get all your friends to read my blog, the sooner I’ll get my sight back! Ha ha! Just kidding, but that’s what it’s really all about; giving the glory to God. Putting your faith in HIM, not in doctors or surgeries or insurance policies.
So that’s how I became blind. The End…NOT! No, I still have lots of things to share with you so I hope you’ll keep coming back each week. Until next time…
Psalms 118:8 It is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man.
Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works.
So yeah, I was pretty happy about that. My vision was good in both eyes for the next year but after that it was all down hill.
I started getting infections again in my left eye. We would get one infection cleared up and I’d be okay for one or two or six months, but then another one would pop up. In the meantime, my right eye began to deteriorate. The keratoconus gradually progressed to the point where my hard contact lens didn’t really help any more. I couldn’t get surgery though because of the constant infections in my left eye.
My doctor had always said that she wouldn’t do surgery in either eye until both had been healthy for a whole year. After a couple of years she said maybe she would settle for six months. But it never happened, the infections just kept coming.
Over the next four years or so I gradually lost the vision in my right eye. The transplant in my left eye was holding up pretty good even with all the problems but then I started to develop a cataract in that eye.
Sometime during the early months of 2008 it got bad enough that I couldn’t read books anymore. Through it all I think this has been the hardest thing for me. I’ve always been an avid reader. I have since grown to love audio books and I thank God for them all the time, but I still miss reading.
In May of that year I had to give up driving. That was a big chunk of independence lost and was pretty hard to take. In September I lost my job. I couldn’t have done it much longer anyway though, I was really struggling with it. In October I was declared legally blind.
In April 2009 Joni, Adam and I moved up here to Nebraska. We couldn’t afford to live in Dallas on my social security. I had very little vision left by then but God left me just enough to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. In June I finally lost the last little bit remaining.
And now I am just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to see what God has planned for me.
I need cataract surgery in my left eye and a cornea transplant in the right. I can’t get either because I have no medical coverage. I’ve been denied again and again. I can’t get Medicaid because I make too much money and I can’t get medicare until I’ve been disabled for two years. Private insurance plans are too expensive and also I have a lot of pre-existing medical problems, not just my eye problems, but also asthma.
But that’s okay because I have God in my life now. He promised to take care of us and I believe Him. That makes the waiting much easier to bear. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again. And what a glorious day that will be! I know I still have some things to figure out before that happens though, and I am doing my best to learn them.
I think that’s what this blog is all about. God wanted me to document what’s happening so that lots of people can bear witness. So the sooner you get all your friends to read my blog, the sooner I’ll get my sight back! Ha ha! Just kidding, but that’s what it’s really all about; giving the glory to God. Putting your faith in HIM, not in doctors or surgeries or insurance policies.
So that’s how I became blind. The End…NOT! No, I still have lots of things to share with you so I hope you’ll keep coming back each week. Until next time…
Psalms 118:8 It is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man.
Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works.
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