Journal - A Day of Praise

Sunday was an exciting day, and one I had been looking forward to all week. I was already completely blind when we started attending our church in Kearney so I had never seen the building, or the people in it that I have come to know.
I was also a little (okay a lot) nervous about it, because Pastor Mike had asked me to come up and talk a little bit about the miracle that has occurred in my life. Not long after my bandage came off last Tuesday, I began asking God what he wanted me to do with this amazing gift that He has given me, and when we got home from Omaha on Wednesday, there was an email from Mike asking me to do that. My first thought was, “That’s what I get for asking I guess,” but I knew it was something that I needed to do. I know God didn’t restore my sight just to make me happy, He did it so that people can witness it and so that He can be glorified through it. So that was my task: helping people understand how God has changed my life over the last couple of years, and how important it is to keep the faith, even when things look bad.
So we arrived at church at about 9am as usual, and I got my first look at the building. It felt really great to see it, and the new sanctuary that was completed early this year is really beautiful. It was quite an experience putting faces to some of the voices that I have come to know. Everyone was very supportive and seemed genuinely happy for me. At the beginning of the service, Pastor Mike called us up and he asked me a couple of questions about my experience. I know God was with me because I managed to say some things that sounded coherent, and I even remembered the bible verse that I had wanted to share which was 1 Peter 5:6-7. It only took a few minutes and then Iwas done. Through the rest of the service, I really tried to focus on Pastor Mike’s message, but I was just too excited about seeing everyone and everything. Afterward, Mike asked if we could stay for the beginning of the second service and do it again, and we said “Absolutely!” We didn’t stay for the entire second service, just long enough to do that, and then we left.
After church, we had to run up to Walmart to pick up a few things. That was pretty cool too, just walking through the store without having to be guided, and looking at everything. Then we made a quick stop at Walgreen’s to pick up my prescription, and it was back home for lunch.
After lunch, I sat down and watched, yes watched, a football game. It was the Lion’s again, they’re having a really good year so they’ve been on tv almost every week. Unfortunately, they lost to San Francisco. A disappointing finish, but it sure felt good to see a game. I’m looking forward to seeing Nebraska play next Saturday: 2:30pm on ABC.
The rest of the day was relatively relaxing and uneventful, although we had another trip to Omaha to look forward to on Monday.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that when the time is proper, He may exalt you; casting your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.

Angels Among Us - Saved By A Refridgerator

During the last two weeks, our church has had a team of volunteers working in Joplin, Missouri. As you may recall, Joplin was devastated by tornados earlier this summer. The volunteers returned home yesterday and spent a few minutes talking about their trip. Pastor Brian, who led the team, shared one story with us that I wanted to pass on.
Shortly after the tornados hit, a man was driving along and came across a refridgerator in the road. The man felt moved to stop and look in the refridgerator, and when he did he found a small boy inside.
Imagine if you will a child inside a refridgerator being picked up by a tornado and thrown heaven-only-knows how far. Imagine the grisly sight that could have met that man who stopped. Instead, the boy was perfectly well and unharmed. The man asked the boy why he got into the refridgerator, and the boy replied, “A man with wings put me in there.”
I wonder how many adults would have had the courage to say that. Only a child could have stated such a powerful truth so unabashedly.
Every year, every month, every day our nation falls further away from God’s good graces as more and more of us turn our backs on Him. Will God’s angels be on your side when His retribution finally comes?

Psalms 4:8 "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. ESV

Psalms 9:19-20 "Arise, O Lord! Let not man prevail; let the nations be judged before you! Put them in fear, O Lord! Let the nations know that they are but men! ESV

Psalms 91:4 "He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. ESV

Journal - Catching Up

Well, I guess I haven’t written for a while. The passing of time continues to befuddle me. Let me see if I can recall what’s been going on.
There isn’t much to report on Audiobook Heaven. After the flurry of activity during the first six weeks of the year, things have settled down a bit. That’s okay, I like some excitement now and then, but we always need that time to recharge the batteries. I continue to receive audiobooks from Blackstone, typically six books per month. I got a couple of L Ron Hubbard books from Galaxy Press last month, and just received two more today, although one of them is a repeat. I’ll have to contact them and see if I should send that one back. Last week I got my first two books from HighBridge Audio. The only new thing I have to report is my latest discovery, Graphic Audio. One of the books I got from Susan Dunman was from that publisher, and I had never heard of them before. I looked them up in Google and took a look at their website. They specialize in creating full cast audio productions, complete with sound effects and music, of comic book graphic novels. Can you imagine how excited I was about that? I contacted them, and they responded right away saying that they would send me some review copies. I didn’t get to pick out what I wanted, but I was pretty happy to get anything from them. Hopefully they’ll keep sending me stuff.
My Medicare became effective on March 1. I’ve spent the first half of the month getting information and making my choices for part D prescription coverage. I have part A for hospitalization; that part is free. Part B for doctor visits carries a monthly premium of $115, and it looks like there is also a yearly deductible of about $162. On part D, I qualified for extra assistance so there’s no premium or deductible. My scripts will be $6.30 for brand name, and $2.50 for generic. That ended up being better than I expected. My prescription coverage begins April 1, so I’ll be looking for a doctor over the next week or so and will try to make an appointment for sometime in April.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this in my blog or not, but for the last 3 or 4 months, God has been trying to get me to play my saxophone at church. I’ve been dragging my feet as usual. I’m not very good at stepping out of my comfort zone. This began right before Christmas and I thought I might play some Christmas music, but that kind of fell through. It was pretty short notice, only one week before Christmas so there wasn’t time to get anything set up. Before I could play, I had to meet with the music director, Kent. Well, after that I let a couple of months pass, then I finally approached Kent again about it. We met at the church on March 4 and I played for him. He sounds like he’s okay with me playing at church, but we haven’t set anything up yet. The ball is in his court, though, I’m just waiting for him to say when.
Speaking of church, on February 27 we had our first service in the new sanctuary. When we first went to this church about a year and a half ago, they were just announcing plans to build a bigger sanctuary onto the church, and it’s finally done. The new sanctuary has theater-style seating for a little over 900 people. I’m looking forward to seeing it. I’m not sure how many our old sanctuary could seat.
For the last several days, Charles Stanley has been doing a series of sermons about guilt, and it’s got me thinking about some things. It seems clear that God wouldn’t want us to feel guilt for sins that He has forgiven us for. Guilt is, after all, a negative emotion, and God doesn’t typically deal in negative emotions. But it sort of seems like a little guilt might be a good thing. In the complete absence of guilt, are we not more likely to repeat our sins of the past? I’ll hav to do some thinking on that.
It’s now been about three days since the disastrous earthquake in Japan. A monstrous 8.9 on the Richter. It sounds like they are stil struggling to contain the nuclear power plants. 8.9 makes this the fourth most powerful earthquake in recorded history.
Okay, I guess that’s about it. See you next time.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. NIV

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door an knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in with him and dine with him, and he with me. NKJV

Journal - Waiting For A Miracle

Tuesday night I didn’t sleep very well. Don’t know why, just couldn’t sleep. I went to bed at 12:30 which is about my usual time. When I go to bed, I put on my headphones and listen to an audiobook, or a DVS movie, and I’m usually ready to go to sleep in no time at all. Last night, I put on my headphones and listened to an entire movie, and I still wasn’t sleepy. I started another movie and got most of the way through that one before I finally started to nod off. Even after all that, I still woke up early, about 6:30 I think. Instead of going right back to sleep like I usually would, I felt pretty awake, so I put my headphones back on and finished the movie I started.

I did go back to sleep for a while, but I couldn’t sleep late because I had a 10:00 dentist appointment Wednesday morning. The dentist made all the final preparations on my tooth to get it ready for a crown. The procedures took a full hour and a half. There was very little pain involved, but it was a long time to sit in that chair. Right now I have a temporary crown, and when I go back on the 29th I get the permanent one. That should be a quick and simple visit and then I’ll be done with dentists for a while.

Now I need to back up for a minute. On Tuesday, I got a call from Lion Lady. She had been talking with my social worker about my Medicaid. Social Worker Lady told Lion Lady about how if I had a private insurance plan costing $277 per month, I would qualify for full Medicaid, instead of the useless kind I have now. It took Lion Lady about 10 seconds to figure out that this would be a much more cost effective way to get me seeing again, and back in the work force, something none of the various government agencies have been able to figure out. So Lion Lady called this outfit in Hastings called Fiddler’s to see if they could help me out with that. Lion Lady is very much on the ball. She said that the Lion’s could pay for six months worth of insurance, which would probably get me well on my way. Good plan!

Anyway, when I was talking to Lion Lady about all this, she said to let her know right away how it went with Fiddler’s because she was meeting with her Lion’s Club that very evening to pitch my case. That came as a surprise to me, because I thought this was a done deal and no pitching would be necessary.

Back to Wednesday. When I got home from the dentist, I had two messages on my phone. One was from Fiddler’s, and the other was from Lion Lady wondering if I had heard from Fiddler’s. Before I could do much of anything, my phone rang and it was Lion Lady again. She said her Lion’s group had declined to help me, except for the $125 she had initially pledged toward my appointment next Monday. She said the problem was that her group is in Ravenna, and they don’t like to help people outside of that small town. Lion Lady was very displeased with her group, I could tell by her voice before she came right out and said it. We talked for several more minutes about other options and possibilities. She made it clear that she wasn’t giving up, and would keep fighting for me.

So after that, Joni and I were talking about possibly approaching other Lion’s chapters in the area, when Joni wondered aloud if Minden had a chapter. Duh! I was looking around the Lion’s website a couple of weeks ago, and I remembered seeing Minden on the list. Since we actually live in Minden, we thought that might be a possibility.

Later that afternoon, Lion Lady came out to the house to deliver the $125 check. I think she offered to bring it out instead of us going to pick it up because she felt so bad about what happened. While she was here, I asked about Minden, and she said yup, Minden has a chapter, and in fact, she used to belong to it, and knows several people in the organization. So one hope was dashed, and another kindled.

The upshot is this: I am going forward with my appointment on the 20th. I will go to the doctor and wait for a miracle. God tells us that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, and I believe it. That’s what faith is all about, isn’t it? Just kind of throwing yourself out there with the full expectation that God will carry you through. My period of waiting served its purpose, and now it is time for a leap of faith.

By the way, the other day I asked our church if they could help me with my dental bills. Today, I got an email saying that they would indeed help me out with a large portion of it. That email came today because God wanted me to know that He is still there, watching out for me.

Luke 17:5-6 The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!” He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.

Journal - Some Lessons

So we went to church this morning. When we got there, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to turn it off, as I always do before we go inside. Except that when I pushed the button, the phone turned on instead of off, and the low battery sound started chiming. I realized that my phone had gone dead and turned off at some point. The last time I had used it was Friday when Lion lady’s husband called me to say that his wife would call me sometime. I thought, “Great, she probably tried to call and my phone was dead.” I couldn’t check for messages right then because there wasn’t enough battery power left.

When we got inside and took our seats, Pastor Brian, one of the associate pastors, came over to talk to us. Pastor Brian always makes it a point to talk to us and ask for any updates on my situation. I told him that I had called Lion lady a couple of times but hadn’t heard back from her. I didn’t tell him that I let my phone go completely dead, though. He said that he would pray for God to urge Lion lady to respond in some way.

When we got home from church, I plugged my phone in right away to charge the battery. While it was plugged in, I went ahead and checked for messages but there was nothing; she still hadn’t called. I let the phone charge for a while, then unplugged it and set it back on the desk where I keep it.

It was only an hour or two later when my phone rang. It was the Lion lady. Lion lady does, by the way, have a name, but I’m not entirely sure if it would be appropriate to name her here. Anyway, she said that her husband had had back surgery and just came home from the hospital on Friday. I thought it was odd that he was the one who had called on Friday. She also said her grandson had been in the hospital. I felt bad because I had some unkind thoughts about her during the last week. I guess that is God’s way of reminding me not to be so quick to judge. Anyway, Lion lady said she had a packet of information for me and I could stop by and pick it up anytime. We’ll be in Gibbon on Tuesday for Adam’s dentist appointment so I said we would stop by Tuesday afternoon.

So what did I learn today? Letm e see: don’t be too quick to judge others. That’s been a little bit of a problem for me during the last couple of years. I get so caught up in feeling sorry for myself, that I sometimes forget that other people have problems too. God has to slap me upside the head sometimes and remind me of that. I also got a nice little reminder of the power of prayer. Pastor Brian said he would pray for a response, and by golly I got one, just a few hours later.

As I am writing this, another thought occurs to me as well. I’ve been praying for a response from Lion lady all week, but it was not until I shared my concern with someone else, and got that person praying as well, that God made something happen. I’ve heard Doctor Stanley talk about this on the radio. It is so important for others to pray for us, as it is important for us to pray for them. Prayer is a powerful thing, but when many members of Christ’s body come together toward a common purpose, that’s when miracles begin to happen.

And once again, God has used my blog to help me understand some things. I sat down here simply to report on what happened today, but in doing so, I now see that there was a lot more going on beneath the surface that I might have missed. Writing things down has proven to be a pretty good way to organize my thoughts.

James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Journal - Sunday

Sunday was a pretty good day. We went to church as usual and had kind of a special treat. We had a minister from the African Congo visiting. Our church is very active in the Congo, sending money to support missionary efforts over there, and also sending people from our own church to volunteer. Anyway, that minister, who’s name I cannot pronounce, gave us a short sermon in his native language while his interpreter translated for us. It was interesting, and it really drove home the fact that people are really the same all over the world. His sermon was no different than what you might hear in your own church.

After church, we came home for a quick lunch of bacon and French toast, one of our favorites, and then it was off to the new school in Gibbon for a play. Bobbi’s stepson Elliott had one of the leading roles in “Oklahoma", and he really did a great job. That was my second play as a blind man and sometimes it's hard to follow the story, but I enjoy the music. The new school has a nice little auditorium, which we never had at the old school. We always had to use the cafegymatorium for everything.

It was about 4:30 when we got home. It was a really beautiful day. I’m not sure what the temperature was but it was the first time I really enjoyed going outside since last fall. When we got home I actually opened up a couple of windows in the house and the air and sunshine coming in felt wonderful. We grabbed a bite to eat, then I took my shower and started waiting for the game to come on.

It was the big game between Nebraska and Kentucky in the sweet sixteen round of the playoffs. It was the last basketball game of the day and wasn’t schedule to start until 8:30, but the previous game between Oklahoma and Notre Dame went into overtime, so Nebraska started late. It was a little after nine when it finally tipped off.

Well, it was another exciting game. I have to admit, I didn’t really think theLady Huskers would have too much trouble with Kentucky, but Kentucky really came out fighting. The score was pretty much even through the first half, but then Kentucky rallied and finished the half with a ten point lead.

The second half was all downhill, with Kentucky pretty much controlling the game. They extended their lead to nineteen points an the Huskers just couldn't seem to do anything. I began to lose hope. With just a few minutes left in the game, with nothing to lose, Nebraska began to fight. Kentucky's nineteen point lead dwindled down to seven. But the rally came too late. The final score was Kentucky 76 and Nebraska 67. I never really got the impression that Kentucky was the better team, itt just wasn’t Nebraska's night. All of Kentucky's shots seemed to fall in, and all of Nebraska's seemed to fall out.

And so, the magical season ends. It’s a bitter disappointment after coming so close, but I'm really proud of our basketball team, as I'm sure all Nebraskans are. Good luck next year!

2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

Churches pt 2

Now then where was I? Oh yes, Grace church. Yes, we liked Grace church quite a lot. Grace was unlike any church I had ever been to before, not that I had been to a lot. These people were very enthusiastic about praising God. There was loud music played by a band, people would raise their arms into the air while they sang, and some people would even dance in the aisles. On our first visit to Grace, I remember thinking “I can’t go to church here, these people are nuts!” For me, church had always been a rather sombre affair. In church you were expected to sit still and keep quiet, and the music was supposed to be something you might hear at a funeral. This was very different. I had to force myself to pay close attention to everything that was going on. By the time that first worship service ended, I had discovered that it wasn’t so different after all. They preached from the same bible other churches use, and the sermon itself was very much like other sermons I had heard, although the pastor was much more emphatic than I was used to. Incidentally, the first sermon we heard at Grace was all about change. Coincidence? No, the only thing that was different about this church, was that the people were enthusiastic. They were actually excited about praising the Lord. Once I got over my initial shock, I began to realize how right that felt.

After three or four months, however, I began to notice some things that I was not sure about. They practiced speaking in tongues, which I didn't really notice at first. I had never encountered this before and didn't know what to make of it. I emailed both the pastor and the associate pastor with some questions. I couldn't really get a straight answer from either of them, although the pastor said he had done a series of sermons about that and I could get a CD copy at the church bookstore for twenty dollars. That bothered me a lot more than the tongues did. I kind of agonized over that for a while because we had really been enjoying the church. I remember talking to my sister about it and her advice was, “if it’s good for Adam, you should really consider sticking with it.” Well, she was right. Adam was excited about going each week and Joni and I were still getting something out of it too, so we stayed. Soon after that, God took the decision out of our hands anyway, as He so often does.

We began attending Grace in November of 2008, but only stayed until April of 2009. I didn’t agree with all of their practices and customs, but at Grace, I learned that it’s okay to be enthusiastic about praising God, that it’s okay to clap your hands in church and shout “Amen!" if you hear something you like. That was an important step in our spiritual growth, and God picked the perfect church for us. If God had sent us to Grace church first, I don’t think we would have been ready for it, that’s why we had to spend some time at UCC first, to prepare us for the next step.

That was when God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So to Nebraska we came. We took a couple of weeks to settle in before beginning our search for a new church. In the meantime, we visited my old Baptist church, where my mother and sister still attend regularly. It was great coming home to the old church and hearing all the familiar voices, but we knew we wouldn’t be attending there regularly. It is very much a traditional church and we had become accustomed to the contemporary. After we had settled into our new home, we began our search.

The first church we visited was another Baptist church. It was a blend of the traditional and the contemporary. The pastor gave a pretty good sermon, but brr! It was chilly in there, and I don’t mean the temperature. The second church was better, the people were friendly, but we just weren’t sure. We decided to look a little further.

Our third try was a success. At the Evangelical Free church in Kearney, we found Friendly people, powerful sermons, and a strong commitment to youth. More importantly, it just felt right. On our second or third Sunday, the pastor announced that they would be expanding the church by building a larger sanctuary. I think any church that can do that in these economic times must be doing something right, but I don’t feel funny about the money issue there like I did at Grace. Nine months later, all three of us are still enjoying it very much.

It is clear to me that God had our growth and progress carefully mapped out. Each step of the journey, each church we have attended, has played an important part of that growth. If we had tried to go our own way or follow our own plan, I’m sure we would have bungled it quite badly. How reassuring it is to kno that God is there, guiding us and directing our path.

Well, that was a much longer story than I thought it would be! If you made it all the way through, thank you! If you happen to be looking for a church yourself, try not to fret about it too much, okay? God will lead you to the right one. And if you start to feel a little restless in your present church, give it some thought and prayer. God might be telling you that it's time for the next step.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Psalms 98:4-6 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; make music to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn, shout for joy before the LORD, the King.

Churches

I thought it might be interesting to discuss the churches that Joni, Adam, and I have been to, and how each one has impacted our lives. I grew up in the Baptist church in my hometown of Gibbon. It was the same church Grandma and Grandpa Howard attended, probably from the time they arrived in Gibbon, and the same church mom and her siblings grew up with. Joni was raised in a Catholic family, although she never fully accepted all of the Catholic customs. It was basically the same for both of us, we grew up with the church, but turned away from it as soon as we were able.

It wasn’t until many years later, when Astri was born, that we decided it was time for us to start going to church again. We were living in Dallas at the time so there were plenty of churches to choose from. Too many really, we had no idea how to choose one. Neither of us was interested in joining a Catholic church. I was interested in Baptist churches, but understood that they would be different than the Baptist church I grew up with. I finally asked Aunt LeeDel for advice since she is “in the know” about some of the different denominations. She recommended the United Church of Christ, so we looked up UCC churches in our area and found one only a few miles from our apartment.

This was in February or maybe March of 2007. I remember the time well because I was on a long medical leave from work because of problems I was having with my eyes. It’s interesting to think about that time because it was so miserable having such poor vision, but what I wouldn't give to have that amount of vision now.

Anyway, we visited the UCC church and we both liked it immediately. It was a very small church which was a big plus for us, and the people were very warm and welcoming. There were potluck dinners once a month and they followed many of the same practices that the old Baptist church followed so I felt very much at home there. After about a year, however, we began to feel like we needed something more. The pastor was not a powerful speaker and his sermons just weren't speaking to us. Also, Adam wasn't getting much out of it. There were not many kids in the church, and hence there was not much of a youth program.

Then, during the summer of 2008, another nearby church, Grace church, began sending a group to our apartment complex every Saturday afternoon. It was a youth outreach program where they would play games and learn bible verses and win prizes. Adam got involved right away and became very enthusiastic about it which was a little surprising because he isn’t the type to get involved in things.

So the summer passed. In September of that year, I lost my job and we definitely felt that God needed to have a stronger presence in our lives. Grace church had a Halloween party for the kids in the community, and we decided to go have a look. We met a few people, most of whom Adam already knew, and really liked the feel of the whole thing. After talking it over, we decided to visit Grace for Sunday worship. Soon after that, we said our good-byes to the UCC church. The UCC church had served an important purpose for us in that it was a comfortable place for us to begin our journey toward Christ. After almost two years there, we were thirsty for more and definitely felt God urging us on to the next step.

Grace church was larger than the UCC, but not intimidatingly so. There are mega-churches in Dallas, large enough to seat my entire hometown and still not be half full. Grace was small enough to have a church family feel to it, but large enough to support an active youth program. Grace had something for all of us, powerful sermons for Joni and me, and a good youth group for Adam. We were attending regularly on Sundays, plus Wednesday evening services and youth meetings, and we even got involved in a bible study group. We felt that we had found a church that we could be happy in for a long time to come. God had other plans for us, however.

And I see that this story is going to be quite a bitlonger than I thought, so I think I will finish this tomorrow. I hope you’ll come back for the rest!

Hebrews 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Romans 12:5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Journal - Perfect Season

Saturday’s basketball game, Nebraska vs Kansas State, was another exciting one. I turned the game on a little late. There was just a few minutes left in the first half and Nebraska was down by eleven points. Uh oh! By the end of the first half, Nebraska had narrowed the gap to seven points. This was the final game of the regular season, and Nebraska was playing for a perfect, undefeated season. It looked like they had their work cut out for them.

When the second half began, Nebraska took over. Within just a few minutes they had an eleven point lead and never looked back. Kansas State came within six points at one point, but that was as close as they got. Nebraska won the game 82 to 72 and finished the season with a perfect record of 29 wins and 0 losses, the first Big 12 team to do so.

My computer speakers came on Friday, several days earlier than I expected. It’s always nice when something happens sooner than you expect it to. I also got a headphone extension cord so Adam and I can plug into the cord instead of directly into the speaker. I think that will help the jack in the speaker not wear out so quickly. Joni rarely uses the speakers for anything, so the cord can just stay plugged into the speaker all the time, and Adam and I can plug into the cord.

I’ve been noticing something odd about my screen reader, System Access To Go, lately. I had noticed some time ago that when I delete things from the computer, they don’t go into the recycle bin. Later on, I discovered that the deleted files are going into the bin, but when I look in there, SA To Go tells me the bin is empty, even though it’s not. On Saturday I emailed Serotek, the company that makes SA To Go, to ask them about that.

It looks like spring is finally on its way! Most of the snow is melted and the temperatures are gradually climbing into the forties and fifties. When we went to church on Sunday, I only wore a light jacket instead of my winter coat and it felt wonderful. Also, the geese and cranes are arriving by the hundreds. My hometown of Gibbon sits about 3 miles north of the Platte River, and our house here on the turkey ranch is about 5 miles south of the river. The area in between is a major stopping point for migrating geese and cranes. I think mostly they go for the river, but quite a few of them are landing in the harvested corn fields around here to pick up scraps of corn too.

We had a very thought provoking message at church this week. It was about following Christ as a nation. It was Pastor Tim this time, instead of Pastor Mike, but he does a nice job too. He talked a little bit about September 11, quoting from an interview that someone had with Billy Graham’s daughter, Ann. The interviewer asked her how God could let such a thing happen. Her response was that God is deeply grieved over it, but we have spent so many years now asking God to get out of our schools and out of our government, that God, being the gentleman that He is, has calmly backed off. That's a pretty scary thought, but it makes a lot of sense.

Psalms 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

Psalms 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, and the people he chose for his inheritance.

Dream Diary - Patience

Hi there! Long time, no see. This will be a short post, probably. I have an interesting dream fragment that I wanted to put in the record.

In the dream, I was at the Baptist church in Gibbon, the church I attended in my youth, the church Mom still attends today. I was hanging around with my friend Joe Gangwish. Incidentally, Joe is the brother of Bobbi's husband Mike Gangwish. I don't remember what Joe and I were doing but I also vaguely remember Joe’s mom, Francey, being there. Anyway, they disappeared after a bit.

The interesting part began when I entered a certain room of the church, I think it was the parlor. There were several people sitting around a large table playing password. Remember that old game? It used to be a game show, too. Anyway, one of the people was a guy named Ron Sheets that I used to work with when I lived in Kansas City. I don’t remember what he said to me, but he indicated that he wanted my help with the game. He had a word printed on a card and he wanted me to help him come up with clues to give the other players. He held out the card and showed it to me, and the wordprinted on it was “patience.”

Now I wonder what that dream could possibly mean. I’m not sure if this matters, but the cards they were using were kind of like little gift tags, you know the kind that have “to” and "from" printed on them. The backs of the cards had some kind of Christmas design on them. The front had a Christmas design on the top half, and the bottom half had the hand-written password on it. I’m not sure what the Christmas tie-in means. Maybe something to do with how impatient I was feeling at Christmas last year.

So that was my dream. We are being bombarded today. There are chunks of ice falling from the trees and banging all over our roof. Kind of creepy.

Thanks for reading. Try to stay warm!

Genesis 40:8 And they said unto him, We have dreamed a dream, and there is no interpreter of it. And Joseph said unto them, Do not interpretations belong to God? tell me them, I pray you.

Hebrews 10:36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Journal - Year End

Well, the excitement of the holidays is subsiding, and just as I expected, I have nothing to write about. Or maybe I just haven’t been in the mood. I’m really not in the mood even now as I sit here typing, but I want the record to show what’s been going on the last few days. This probably won' be very interesting to anyone other than myself, just your basic "did this, saw that" kind of stuff.

We were supposed to go to my brother, Brad’s, house for Christmas, but we got another blizzard on Christmas Eve and got snowed in. That was okay, I kind of like spending Christmas at home. Since we had planned on being at Brad's for dinner, we hadn't bought anything to make a dinner of our own. Luckily, we had the ham and all that other food that the church gave us, so we had a nice ham dinner for Christmas. Okay, I guess luck didn't really have anything to do with it. It was just God looking out for us again. The three of us had a nice day. It's fun being snowed in when you don't have to worry about getting to work and stuff.

On Saturday, we were still snowed in because we live on a farm and there's no one to clean our driveway. We had some pretty big snow drifts. We really wanted to be able to get out on Sunday though, so Joni and I got in the Explorer and basically bashed our way through the drifts until we were out. We drove in and out of the driveway about six times to make sure we had a good path through the snow.

Sunday was Adam’s fourteenth birthday. He had mentioned that he would really like it if Brenna could come over for a while to have cake and ice cream with us. Apparently he likes having a sister. So we went to church Sunday morning, then picked up Brenna and we all had lunch at Runza. If you don’t live in Nebraska, you probably don’t know what Runza is and I pity you. After lunch, we went to Mom’s house for a little while. She made Adam’s favorite, a jello poke cake. Our plan after that was to come back home for more cake and just hang out for a while. We were supposed to meet Brenna's grandparents in Minden at five o'clock so they could take her home. But, well, we got stuck in the driveway as soon as we pulled in. Joni and I dug with the snow shovel for a while, which did absolutely no good because the snow was all packed up under the truck, until finally, one of our neighbors drove by. He saw we were having trouble and stopped to lend a hand. He had a tow chain and had us out of that drift in no time. By then it was time to go drop off Brenna, but she and Adam had a good time. They seem to get along really well with each other. They can just sit and jabber back and forth at each other, then 45 minutes later you come back and they’re still jabbering at each other. Anyway, Adam had a nice birthday, and I had a good day too even though we got stuck. This was the first time I got to spend some time with Brenna without a lot of people around and I discovered that she’s pretty funny. I also found out she has double-jointed thumbs just like me.

There hasn’t been much excitement this week. I have some sore muscles in my shoulders and back from shoveling snow, but I still got on the exercise bike. I haven’t been on it for a couple of weeks and decided it’s time to get back in the habit. Last week, Joni and I filled out that application for the BCBS insurance and mailed it in. This week they called and said they are forwarding it to the underwriters. That’s encouraging in a way because at least they didn’t just reject me offhand the way Aetna did. This morning I had an appointment with an eye doctor that the Commission for the Blind set up for me. There wasn't much point to it, except I found out there’s no infection in my left eye. That kind of surprised me and I was a little encouraged by that. Then we went to Brad’s for lunch. That was our Christmas make-up since everybody was snowed in.

So that’s what’s been going on. It’s the end of the year, and I feel like I should write something deep and meaningful, but it’s just not happening today. I’m not all sad and depressed anymore, like I was at Christmas, I’m just not in the mood to write. It has been an eventful year, I'll say that much. And I’m looking forward to the challenges that the new year will bring. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I’m still hoping that I’ll be able to see again by next Christmas. If you’re listening, Santa, that’s all I want next year, and don't feel like you have to wait until December to deliver.

To you, faithful reader, I wish nothing but happiness and prosperity for you in the new year, and remember, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.

Happy New Year 2010!

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Holiday Blues

Hi there. Well, after my writing frenzy last week, I just haven’t been in the mood these last couple of days. I think I have a case of the post-holiday blues. I know, I know, the holidays aren’t over yet, but that’s how I feel.

Ever since sometime around Thanksgiving, we’ve been planning and preparing for our party on the 19th. Well, the 19th came and went and has left me feeling a little empty. I don't feel disappointed exactly; Saturday was a great day and I enjoyed it a lot. But now the excitement is over, and I feel a little blue, that’s all. Maybe if I talk about Saturday, I'll feel a little better.

I already told you about going to church on Saturday morning to pick up the food they gave us. That was a really good feeling, knowing that God was looking out for us in that way. After that, we came home and started getting things ready for our party. We had decided to keep things simple and just have chicken fajitas and let everyone build their own. So, all we really had to do was chop up all the vegetables; onions and tomatoes and black olives and all that stuff. Three days later, my hands still smell like onion, yuck!

Brenna’s violin recital was at two o’clock, so we had to leave at one fifteen. The recital was put on by a violin teacher who was basically showcasing her students. They ranged from beginners, like Brenna, up to more advanced students. Brenna performed with a group of other first years. They played “Jolly Old St Nicholas” and “Good King Wenceslaus” and they sounded great! The rest of the program was various soloists, including a couple of adults who were learning the violin. I really enjoyed hearing Brenna play. I’m so glad she’s learning an instrument, and I hope she can get as much enjoyment from it as I have over the years. The recital was held in a nursing home which I thought was pretty nice.

Then it was back home again to finish our preparations. We still had a little time to kill, so I ran through “O Holy Night” and “Where Are You Christmas?” a few more times. I was still having trouble with those two, but I had done my best.

My family started showing up at 5:30. They’re a very punctual bunch. Joni finished getting the food ready and we all sat down to eat. The food was good, and the company was great. Joni cleaned up a bit and then it was time for me to play.

I was so nervous that I was actually trembling so the first couple of songs didn’t sound that great, but I finally began to calm down a little and the next few songs sounded pretty good. Then it was time for “O Holy Night.”

Well, guess what? I nailed it! I can’t even describe how I felt when I realized that I was hitting all the notes. In fact, I nailed it so well, that I started to laugh and I almost couldn’t finish the song. It's so hard to describe that feeling. It was like the whole room dropped away, and it was just me and the music. I guess that’s what people mean when they talk about being “in the zone.” I suppose it sounds a little silly, but it was kind of an emotional moment for me. After the song ended, the laughter that was bubbling up inside me, turned to tears. Well, luckily the next ong had a long intro and I pulled myself together in time.

The next song was “Where Are You Christmas?” and I messed it up, but I didn’t even care. The last three songs went fine though, and then it was over. Everyone sat around talking for a while after that, and then wenthome. Joni and I were way too wired to go to bed so we stayed up for a while. It had been a really great day.

Sunday, after we got home from church, I realized that I didn’t need to practice any more and I just kind of fell into a funk. On Monday, I decided to play anyway, and that helped a little bit, but it just wasn’t the same. I'm feeling a little better today, though, and there’s still Christmas day to look forward to. My family always gathers at Brad’s house and this will be my first Christmas with them in 8 or 9 years. That will be fun, although I feel bad that Joni can’t be with her family too. They live all the way over in Baltimore and there’s just no way for us to get there. God has his reasons for putting us where we are, and I guess we'll just have to trust in Him.

Well, this might be my last post before Christmas, so I am going to take a moment here to wish you and your family the most joyous Christmas imagineable. As you are opening your gifts, try to take a moment to think about that most wonderful gift of all that was given to us by God.

Merry Christmas, and God bless you!

Luke 2:8-14 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Journal - Party Countdown

Well, here it is, the 19th already! This will be a busy day for us so I hope I have time to post this. Of course, if you're reading it, then obviously I posted it haha! Okay, I'll be honest with you. I'm really writing this on Friday because I know I won’t have time to sit down and write on Saturday. It’ll only take a couple of minutes to copy and paste it into my blog on Saturday so I think I can handle that.

So, let me see, what’s been going on this week. Joni has been cleaning house like crazy since we’re having company tonight. And I’ve been practicing like crazy. The songs are sounding pretty good, but I’m still having trouble with two of them. “O Holy Night" is proving to be extremely challenging, and even after four weeks, I still haven’t had a perfect run on it, although I’m getting close. I’m also having trouble with “Where Are You Christmas.” I've always had trouble with key changes, and that one has two of them at the end. If I can get through those two songs, the show should be pretty good.

On the insurance thing: I had called the BCBS agent last Monday, the 8th I think, just as the blizzard was bearing down. I didn’t hear from him all week, but I chalked it up to the blizzard. So I waited until the following Monday to call him again. Still, I didn’t get a call back, so I called Aetna. Aetna turned me down right away. On Tuesday, the 15th, I call the main office for Blue Cross in Nebraska and complained about the agent that wouldn’t call me back. Lo and behold, he called me about 10 minutes later. He took my basic info over the phone and emailed me an application. Joni and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and fill it out yet, but at least we made a little progress this week.

My asthma and everything is holding up pretty good. I still have the free sample of Advair my doctor gave me. I’m only using it every other day and I'm getting along just fine with that. In the meantime, my doctor found some program where she was able to get me another Advair, completely free. I think that one has 50 doses in it, so I can stretch that one out for a long time. She also sent me an application to see if I would qualify to get them on a regular basis, either free or discounted. Don’t know if I will because they want to see last year’s tax form. I was still working last year, so I’ll be surprised if that works. Anyway, I'm hoping to have insurance before much longer so that's all moot.

Let me see; I did call Ken Thursday night, but he didn’t answer so I left a message. I’ll see if he calls back.

I think that’s about it. Other than my blog. You probably noticed that I’ve been writing a lot this week. I don’t know if that’s because we really have been busier than normal lately, or if I’m just getting a little more comfortable with the whole blog thing. We’ll see what happens after the holidays.

Okay, on to today. A deaconess from our church approached us a couple of weeks ago. She said that every year, the deacons and deaconesses put together Christmas baskets for needy families, and they wanted us to have one. So early this morning we went to the church to pick that up. It is basically everything for a Christmas dinner. There’s a ham, canned fruit and frozen vegetables, as well as fresh carrots, celery, and potatoes, and a cherry pie and whipped cream. What a blessing! It’s hard sometimes to admit that you need help, but if it hadn’t been for all the help we’ve received from lots of different people over the last year, my family and I would be living on the streets right now. If you ever wondered how people end up like that, this is it. They hit one of those stumbling blocks, like I have, but they don’t have any family to fall back on. Or maybe they're just too proud to ask. I hope someday, God will put us in a position where we will be able to help someone out, the way we have been helped.

Okay, I got sidetracked a little. We did that early this morning. This afternoon, we’re going to Brenna's violin recital at 2 o'clock. Stacy said they only play two songs, so that should be a short program. Then we come home and start getting things ready for our company. And somewhere in there, I need a little last minute practice time. Busy day, but I'm looking forward to all of it! I’ll let you know how it turns out. Wish us luck!

Matthew 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Journal - Busy Week

Whew! It’s been quite a week, so I thought I would take a few minutes to describe it. This probably won’t be very interesting to read, this is mostly for me. Someday, I will enjoy reading back over these posts to see what was happening in my life when I was blind. So here’s a recap:

Saturday, November 21: Joni, Adam, and I rode to Kearney, (pronounced car-nee), with Mom to watch Brenna play volleyball. Her grade doesn’t play against other schools yet, it’s really more of a practice with a short scrimmage at the end. I’m discovering that my daughter is kind of shy. That will present a challenge because I’m not very talkative either. I got to talking to Mom about how I’m finding it hard to get any exercise and found out she had an exercise bike in her basement that she wasn’t using. So when we got back, Joni and I loaded it up and took it home. I found out how much out of shape I am because the next day I was sore just from carrying that darn thing.

Sunday, November 22: Went to church today as usual. Pastor Mike gave a really good sermon about being thankful. It’s so easy to get caught up with all the things we want or the things we wish we could do, that we forget to be thankful for what we have. It’s always good to get that reminder. Also, Kylie, (my sister Bobbi’s daughter), turned 15 on Saturday so today was her “family party.” We went over for a little while and had cake and ice cream.

Monday, November 23: We didn’t have anywhere to go today, so Joni spent the morning and early afternoon cleaning. We aren’t expecting any company, but she always gives the house a thorough cleaning for the holidays. I’m not much help with that so I played the saxophone for her while she worked. I got in the mood early this year so I’ve been working on some Christmas music. Later on, I took a short spin on the bike. It's one of those that you can work with your legs or your arms so it will be a good workout.

Tuesday, November 24: Back to Mom’s today. Aunt LeeDel came down from Sioux Falls on Monday, and Uncle Butch drove over from Crete just for the day. We always enjoy their visits, and today was our only day to see them since Butch only came for the day and LeeDel drove back home Wednesday morning. Also, Kevin and family arrived from Arizona at around 6pm. We all had supper together then went over to the school to watch Kylie’s play. It was a one-act of Alice in Wonderland and Kylie played three different parts. She’s so talented!

Wednesday, November 25: Went to Mom’s yet again! Today was our big gathering with all four of us kids, spouses, and all the grandchildren. The house was so crowded! It was a little intimidating because I knew I couldn’t move around through the house without tripping over everybody, so I mostly stayed in one chair all day. I had fun though and Brenna was there so I got to talk to her a little bit. After supper we went over to the church to take family pictures. There just wasn’t room in the house to do that. Mom got her picture of us four kids, the first one in 22 years. It was such a special day but I was totally exhausted when we got home at around 8pm. It’s kind of hard work to listen to so many people all at once!

Thanksgiving Day: Today we stayed home and had our traditional holiday with just the three of us. Joni’s turkey was delicious as always and everything else was great too. We had so many things to be thankful for this year that we hardly knew where to begin. God has been very good to us, fulfilling all of our needs just as He promised He would, and then some! After the kitchen was cleaned up we all just lazed around the house and watched a little football. It was really a nice, relaxing day.

Friday, November 27: Well, another Thanksgiving come and gone. Things are returning to normal, which means it was a pretty quiet day. Had turkey sandwiches for lunch, (one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving), then I took a spin on the bike. I’m up to 30 minute workouts already and no sore muscles. After that, it was time for the Nebraska vs. Colorado game. It was on TV today, but I still prefer the radio because they’re better at explaining what’s going on. And Nebraska won! Go Huskers!

So that was our big holiday week! It sure was great spending some time with the family, but I’m glad the holidays only come around once a year! Seriously though, I am so thankful for all that God has given me. I hope that you are too, and I hope you'll take some time this holiday season to remember those who don't have families, or homes, or turkey dinners. You may not be in a position to help them financially, but we can always pray for them.

Look out Christmas, here we come!

Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

More History

Hi! Welcome to Drums In The Deep. If this is your first visit I encourage you to read the older posts below or this one won’t make as much sense.

Last week I talked briefly about the kind of childhood I had. I mentioned that I grew up going to church but none of it really took hold until much later in my life. This week, I thought I would expand on that a little bit.

In high school I had been a pretty good kid. I was an ‘A’ student and got along pretty well with my family. Didn’t hang around with the wrong crowd or anything like that. I earned some scholarships and went off to college with high hopes. But that was when the trouble started.

Since I was now an ‘adult’ and could make my own decisions, I decided to stop going to church. At college, I spent most of my time drinking and partying instead of studying. Inevitably, I flunked out my first year. Not long after that I got in trouble with the law for stealing. Yep, as an adult I was an immediate success.

Then it was discovered that my dad had cancer. That was in April of 1995. My family and I spent the next six months watching him slowly die, and by October he was gone. He was 50 years old and I was 24.

To cap things off, not long after Dad died I got a girl pregnant. It felt like the whole world was crashing down around me. The little amount of faith I had was eroding fast. The world was chipping away at it and I was doing nothing to reinforce it, see?

Well, guess what I did next; I made like an egg and beat it. Just ran away. I ran away from the pain of my father’s death; ran away from all the mistakes I had made and the trouble I had caused.

That seemed like a good plan, but oddly enough running away didn’t make my problems go away. It didn’t stop me from creating new problems either. Soon enough, I met someone and married her, more out of desperation than love I think. Three years later I was divorced.

I’m not trying to impress you with what a hard life I had or anything like that, I’m just setting the scene for you. By this time I had completely convinced myself that God did not exist. I wasn’t just doubting, I was sure of it. Where was the proof after all? Well, eventually God slapped me upside the head and gave me all the proof I needed, but that was still several years away.

So why am I writing all this down? Because I want you to understand how far from God I had fallen. And also to point out again that even though I gave up on Him, He never gave up on me.

Some of you may have read a book by Stephen King called ‘The Stand’. There is one scene in this book that I think of often. Nick and his companions have been drawn to the home of Abigail Fremantle in Hemingford Home, Nebraska by some inexplicable force. Upon their arrival, Nick and Mother Abigail sit down to talk, at which time she explains to him some of the things that are going to happen. When Nick asks how she knows all this, she tells him frankly that it is God’s plan. Nick says, “I don’t believe in God.” Mother Abigail just laughs and says, “It doesn’t matter Nick. He believes in YOU.”

I can’t put it much better than that. And I see that I’ve been rambling on quite long enough for today so I think I’ll stop here for now. Just remember this:

GOD BELIEVES IN YOU!

My History

Hi there! If you’re reading this then I’ll assume you’ve read my first two posts. If you haven’t, you really should to give you a little background on why I created this blog. You’ll find older posts below this one. Go on, it’ll only take you a minute and I promise I won’t go on without you

All done? You’re a fast reader! Well, now that we’re all on the same page (pun intended) let’s get started!

It’s hard to know where to begin. I suppose I should tell you a little of my history. They say that if you don’t study the past you are doomed to repeat it. That is so true! It’s okay to make mistakes but if you don’t learn something from those mistakes then you’re really in trouble.

My childhood was pretty typical. I grew up on a farm in Nebraska. That almost sounds like a cliché doesn’t it? Well, I won’t bore you with long descriptions of farm life in the Midwest but there are a couple of points that bear explaining.

The two sides of my family were almost complete opposites. On Mom's side were the wholesome church-goers. On Dad’s side were the drinking and swearing farmers. I have a great deal of respect for farmers. Dad’s family were honest and hard working, but they didn’t know God. That was fine with me as a child because I didn’t know Him either.

It was Mom, however, that was in charge of raising us kids and her rule was “As long as you live in this house, you’ll go to church”. So we went to church every Sunday.

I can’t speak for my siblings here, but I only went because I had to. Church was boring and, as far as I was concerned, a waste of a morning when I could have slept in. I learned the Golden Rule, and stories like “Noah’s Ark” and “Jonah and the Whale”, but I never learned about God; about who and what He really is. That wasn’t because I had bad teachers, it was just because I didn’t care. When I was old enough to choose for myself, I quit going to church and never looked back.

After that my life was perfect and idyllic. NOT! No, during the years of my early adulthood I caused a lot of problems for myself and sometimes for other people as well. I was very bad at managing money and so I never had any. Also, I had a habit of making bad decisions. I bounced around from place to place and job to job, always struggling and fighting to pay my bills.

Now, here are the two points I would like to make.

Firstly, even when I had turned my back on God, He was still looking out for me. I never had to live on the streets, and I never went hungry (although I did live on mac ‘n’ cheese and hot dogs for a while). My basic needs were always met.

Secondly, look at my life now. I am actively seeking out God. It was my mother’s nature that won out in the end rather than my father’s. Her steadfast persistence in taking us kids to church every Sunday was eventually rewarded. As it turns out, some of that stuff penetrated my thick head after all.

Wow! You know, I never really thought of things this way until just now as I typed it. What a perfect example of how God’s nature wins out in the end.

Well, with that revelation, I think I will close for today. I hope you got as much out of this as I did! :-)

See you next time okay?