Men's Fraternity Week 24

Men’s Fraternity
Week #24 – Blessing Letter to Children/Siblings

Introduction: Letter Accountability

• How did you present your letter from last week?
• What kind of reaction did you receive?
• If you did not deliver your letter, tell your group when you plan to deliver it and how you plan to deliver it.

Proverbs 3:27-28
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

I. Family blessing hinges on 5 key elements.

1. Meaningful touch

Mark 10:13-16
And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.


2. A spoken message
• The misconception we have is that simply being present communicates blessing.
• We need to be aware how powerful the absence of spoken words can be. (Most common phrase: “I’ll tell them tomorrow.”)
Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 10:11
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

Proverbs 10:31-32
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.


3. Attach high value to the one being blessed.
• In the Hebrew the root meaning of blessing is to “bow the knee”.
• It is important that you point out the qualities and character traits not the performance.
4. Picture a special future for the one being blessed.
• Words that picture a special future are like a campfire on a dark night.
• In John 14:2-3 Jesus went to great lengths to assure the insecure disciples that they had a special future with Him.

John 14:2-3
In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.


5. Make an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.

James 2:15-16
If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?


• Mere words of blessing are not enough
• Follow through is key to conveying the truth of the blessing.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


• The better we know the bent of our child and their unique set of needs the better we will be able to give them their own unique blessing.

Dealing with Children rejecting your godly legacy.

1 Corinthians 3:8
He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.

• Parenting is about planting and watering.
• Know your purpose and work together
• Reward is based on the work done not based on who your children become.

The greatest legacy you can leave your kids is who you were as a Christ-follower. What your children do with who you were is their choice.

Personal application/exercise:

Take the time we have left and use the fill in the blanks and write your favorite memories of your oldest child or the one that may need this letter most at this time. If you have no children write it to your sibling, friend, or mentor in your life.

Sharing what you wrote: Share which person you wrote and three memories.

Deliver your letter by our next session!

Men's Fraternity Week 15

Men’s Fraternity
Week #15 Battle Plan

I. Understanding the Strategy of the Enemy

• Temptations and idols are issues for all of us and this has devastated men throughout history.

James 1:14-15
Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it is conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

desire>enticed>lured>tempted>conceived>sin>continue sin=death

• When a desire is enticed (from without) and entertained in the mind, it lures (from within) us to the point of temptation, we act upon what has been dwelled upon.
• It’s not that your desires are too strong and need to be dialed back; they’re actually too weak and need to be redirected.
• The problem isn’t desire. The problem is misplaced desire. [selfishly desiring things for oneself]

It lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for enjoyment of it is a bad thing. I submit that this notion…is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go making mudpies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
(C S Lewis, The Weight of Glory, p26, 1949)

Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth.

II. The more Noble Pathways

• God’s noble pathways are ultimately more lasting and fulfilling than any alternative.
• You can’t just remove an idol or behavior from your life. You have to replace it with something else, something more satisfying and fulfilling.

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I come that they may have life and have it abundantly.

• God is for us, not against us.
• God has given us noble pathways to meet our God-given goals.

Admit the struggle.
Identify the lie.
Replace with the truth.

1. Admit the Struggle

• First step is always to own up to the fact that an external issue is causing problems and has become a surface idol in your life.

1 John 1:8
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

• The hardest step for men to take is to acknowledge where we really are and what we’re really struggling with. [God may have to break us down to get to the core issue.]

James 5:16
Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

• We need to acknowledge that we are all in a struggle together, each of us is a mess. When we do, we remove the mask and begin moving towards God’s grace.

2. Identify the Lie.

• What is the lie that is seducing you? [examples: I can’t change. I’ve always been this way. There’s just something wrong with me.]
• We can’t just deal with the behavior you must attack the root! The sin beneath the sin!

John 8:44
Jesus said…”You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and father of lies.”

• When we are enticed or lured…speak the words “you are of your father the devil, your will is to do your father’s desire

11 Diagnostic Questions to ask yourself – by David Powlison
1. What do I worry about?
2. What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to feel that I did not even want to live?
3. What do I run to in order to comfort myself when things go bad or get difficult?
4. What do I do to cope? What are my release valves? What do I need to feel better?
5. What often times preoccupies me? What do I daydream about?
6. What makes me feel the most self-worth? Of what am I proudest? For what do I want to be known?
7. What do I often lead with in conversations?
8. Early on what do I want to make sure that people know about me.
9. What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God?
10. What do I really want and expect out of life? What do I think would make me happy?
11. Whom or what do I trust in for my life future?

3. Replace with Truth

John 8:31-32
If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.

Discuss Your Action Plan

How do you see the strategy of the enemy in James 1:13-15 at work in your life.?

Take some time to discuss the 11 diagnostic questions. (Ruthlessly honest.)

Practice James 5:16 – “confess sins to one another and pray for one another.”

Island Earth - The Microphone

It was about one year ago that I first wrote in my blog about my desire to become an audiobook narrator. I made a couple of blog posts about my concept for Island Earth Audio and outlined my first basic steps of finding material to narrate, finding a recording program for the computer, and getting a microphone. Well, at the time, my project hit a roadblock as good recording microphones were rather expensive and I just didn’t have the money for one. I ended up putting the whole thing on the back burner for a while.

However, last week I got to looking at microphones again at Amazon.com and came across something that looked pretty good. What I found was a Samson Go Mic Compact USB Microphone. It had some excellent reviews from other people who had bought and used it and several people said that it was good for recording voice and even music. Best of all it only cost about $35, much better than the $100 I thought I would need to spend for a good microphone. I decided to give it a try. I ordered the microphone and it arrived yesterday.

As you can see, the Samson is very compact. It’s attached to a clip so you can attach it to something, but the clip is also heavy enough to serve as a base, which will stand on any flat surface. It plugs into the computer via the included USB cord and also has a little jack on the side to plug in headphones so you can hear exactly what it’s picking up while you record. One way I typically judge electronic devices is by how heavy they feel. Some things feel very light and flimsy in your hand and that usually, although not always, indicates that it’s cheap and not very good. The Samson has a nice heavy and solid feel to it, which makes me think it’s a decent piece of equipment. In addition, the microphone came with a CD program for creating recordings so I can try that out as well and see if it will do what I want it to do. I haven’t installed the software yet or tried out the microphone but I’m anxious to do so.

I guess my next step is to find the quietest possible place in the house where I can make some recordings. This will almost certainly have to be in the basement. Our basement primarily consists of one large room with a couple of smaller rooms off to one side. One of these smaller rooms has carpet in it and I think that will be my best bet. What I’ll need to do is try to clear out a corner of the room and maybe hang some blankets or something around it to create some sound-dampening partitions. Then I can sit in there with Joni’s laptop and, hopefully, create some recordings.

So my project is moving forward again after a long wait. It will take a lot of trial and error as I learn how to use the microphone and the software, and most of all it will just take time. I’m okay with that; God taught me patience through my blindness and it’s a lesson I think I have learned well. This will be a fun project. Wish me luck!

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. ESV

James 5:7-8 Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. ESV

Journal - The Holidays Begin

The week of Thanksgiving was kind of a long one. I worked full 8 hour shifts Tuesday through Saturday and a 5 hour shift on Sunday making it my longest week at Walmart to date. Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty busy as expected with lots of people doing their last minute shopping for Thanksgiving.

Thursday was pretty slow, also as expected. It was kind of an interesting day to work though. Us cart pushers carry walkie-talkies for when they need to call us in for carry-outs and there was lots of chatter and buzz all day about he Black Friday preparations. Since it was slow I got to go in and walk through the store a little bit now and then and it was interesting to watch some of the preparations. They moved lots of the usual racks of goods, mostly clothing, out of the store and put them outside in the lawn and garden area which was by this time empty. So there were huge areas of the store that were completely empty in preparation of the special sale items that would be moving in later on. As I understand it, the big empty areas would contain special sale items with plenty of extra space for queue lines for those wanting that particular item. I only worked until 5pm that day so I didn’t get to see very much of the sale items being moved in. Walmart began Black Friday at 8pm Thursday night so I was gone before the rush began.

Then it was Black Friday. I thought this would be a terribly busy and miserable day, but as it turned out I was wrong. Since the sales all took place during the night, it was pretty much over with by the time I came in at 8am Friday morning. The sale items were gone and all the regular merchandise had been returned to its proper places.

Saturday also turned out to be a bit on the slow side, another surprise. I guess everyone got their shopping done on Friday and decided to stay home. Saturday is usually the busiest day by far.

Then I had my short day on Sunday and was ready for a day off on Monday. It was a rough week even though several of the days I worked were slow. My legs, which have been toughening up and doing pretty well were definitely ready for a rest.

On the week after Thanksgiving I returned to my usual schedule of about 32 hours. That would have seemed like a nice break after the busy week of Thanksgiving, but I started getting sick early in the week. Tuesday and Wednesday were short days but I wasn’t feeling very well at all. By this time I knew that I had a sinus infection based on my symptoms. I had Thursday off and still wasn’t feeling well. I was starting to try and figure out when I could make a visit to the doctor but on Friday and Saturday I started feeling much better and decided it wouldn’t be necessary.

On Sunday I had a much needed and anticipated day off. My sinuses were feeling fine by now but I woke up with some soreness in my left eye, that’s the one I can’t see out of. I didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t really painful, just sore.

More on this later.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ESV

James 1:2-3 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

Memories - Grandpa Pete

As I have mentioned before, I was lucky enough in my youth to have not only all four of my grandparents, but also two of my great-grandparents, nearby. Grandpa Pete was one of these latter, husband of great-grandma Gladys of whom I have already written. Of the six grandparents that I knew in my lifetime, Grandpa Pete was probably the least familiar to me. Our paths just didn’t cross as much as with the other grandparents. But I do have a few memories to share, so let us begin.
First of all, Grandpa Pete’s full name was Albert Henry Brandt. Why did we call him Grandpa Pete? I have no idea. When I was very small, our farm was quite busy, with Grandpa Pete, Grandpa Meril Dean, and Dad all active in the family business. In every tractor, every pickup, and every house, there was a cb radio so the men could keep in touch, and the women could reach them if they needed to. Grandpa Pete’s cb handle was “Pistol Pete”, I remember that name on the back window of his orange and white chevy pickup in stick-on letters. I’m guessing Pistol Pete was a nickname he had picked up somewhere, and that’s probably why we called him Grandpa Pete. That is, however, still largely a mystery to me.
When I think of Grandpa Pete, the first thing that always comes to mind is horses. Grandpa Pete loved horses. When I was still very small, he had a couple of horses on the farm, but nobody ever rode them as far as I know. I got the impression they were rather old. I can’t remember their names, but I’m thinking one of them might have been Pepper.
Loving horses as he did, Grandpa Pete enjoyed going to the races, probably at Fonner Park over in Grand Island since I think that is the closest track to here. One of the favorite photos that I have in my possession is of Grandpa Pete, along with his brother Adolph, sister Eva, family friend Demps Clark, and a few other people I do not know. They are all standing in front of a horse at the racetrack, the horse having won a race that day. The caption on the photo says the horse belonged to Aunt Eva. I guess I like the photo so much because I have very few pictures of Grandpa, and this one is rather old, showing a much younger Albert Brandt than the one I knew.
Grandpa Pete was, of course, a farmer, from a long line of farmers that ended with my dad. I have a newspaper clipping from 1950, announcing that Albert Brandt had purchased some land north of Gibbon. That would undoubtedly be the farm that I grew up on. I vaguely remember a story about Grandpa finding a $5 gold piece in one of his corn fields, butI don’t really remember where I heard that.
I think the only other thing that I personally remember about Grandpa Pete, was that he was always burning stuff. HaHa! Back in the day, farmers would burn off the stalks and “trash” from a field that had recently been harvested. Grandpa also liked to burn the road ditches, when the weeds got tall and were dry from lack of rain. I don’t think he was a pyromaniac, I guess he just liked things to look neat and tidy instead of ragged and weedy. They have a lot of laws and regulations about burning now-a-days so I don’t know if farmer’s still do that, but you could always count on Grandpa Pete to burn something up.
Since I don’t really remember a lot about Grandpa, I decided to ask my brother, Kevin, what he remembered. I figured Kevin probably knew him better than the rest of us since he, Dad, and Grandpa Pete all lived together for a while. Here’s what Kevin had to say:

I've given it a lot of thought and there's really only a few things that really stood out in my mind about him. It sure did bring back some memories though, both good and bad.
Well, things he liked was coffee, Grandma Gladys' sugar cookies, watermelon and he loved steak but he couldn't chew it so he gnawed on it for a while then spit it out. Also he had a thing for pickled pigs feet. He liked to watch Matlock and loved baseball. He always wore a blue long sleeve button up shirt with overalls. His hair was always cut short, crew cut, and wore his hat with the bill turned just to the side.
You already know that he liked the horse races and he took me a few times.
We would often just get in his pickup and go driving around the country looking at stuff and he always let me drive. He taught me how to skin pheasant and rabbits.
I don't really remember any thing that he said a lot other than "god dammit Kevin", but I guess that was all the grown ups.

Those are some pretty cool memories, and I didn’t know any of those things about Grandpa, although I do remember the blue work shirts and overalls since Kevin mentioned it. I think that’s pretty neat that he liked Grandma Gladys’ sugar cookies so much; didn’t we all! That’s also a little sad since he outlived his wife by three years or so.
Kevin also mentioned to me that Pete is a nickname for Albert and that’s why he went by that name, something else I did not know.
Albert Henry (Pete) Brandt was born on December 22, 1897, in Surprise, Nebraska. He married Gladys Opal Brogan on August 6, 1920, and died on July 15, 1985, in Kearney, Nebraska. He now rests in Riverside Cemetery in Gibbon, Nebraska, beside his wife, parents, son, and grandson.

Proverbs 12:11 Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.

James 5:7 Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains.

Unanswered Prayers

Unanswered Prayers
By Garth Brooks

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
Inn her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

I get so frustrated sometimes when I pray and pray for something, and it seems like God just isn’t listening. I keep forgetting that God isn’t always going to give me everything I want, as if He were a white-bearded Santa Claus. No, we can have all the faith in the world, but God will still only give us the things we need, or things that we will use wisely and not take for granted. Sometimes I just need a little reminder. This time, the reminder came through Pastor Mike when he quoted a few lines from this song which, not being a fan of country music, I have never heard before.

Pastor Mike’s sermon last Sunday was about answered, and unanswered, prayer and this song fit in very nicely. I should mention here that I almost missed the message entirely. My mind was wandering during the sermon, as it sometimes does, but I caught the reference to the song. Today, I remembered the song and decided to look it up. God knows that a song will always capture, and hold, my attention where other devices may not, so I guess that’s why He had Pastor Mike slip this one into his sermon.

James 4:3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

We always ask for God to change our circumstances, when actually God uses our circumstances to change us.
Joyce Meyer

Journal - Some Lessons

So we went to church this morning. When we got there, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to turn it off, as I always do before we go inside. Except that when I pushed the button, the phone turned on instead of off, and the low battery sound started chiming. I realized that my phone had gone dead and turned off at some point. The last time I had used it was Friday when Lion lady’s husband called me to say that his wife would call me sometime. I thought, “Great, she probably tried to call and my phone was dead.” I couldn’t check for messages right then because there wasn’t enough battery power left.

When we got inside and took our seats, Pastor Brian, one of the associate pastors, came over to talk to us. Pastor Brian always makes it a point to talk to us and ask for any updates on my situation. I told him that I had called Lion lady a couple of times but hadn’t heard back from her. I didn’t tell him that I let my phone go completely dead, though. He said that he would pray for God to urge Lion lady to respond in some way.

When we got home from church, I plugged my phone in right away to charge the battery. While it was plugged in, I went ahead and checked for messages but there was nothing; she still hadn’t called. I let the phone charge for a while, then unplugged it and set it back on the desk where I keep it.

It was only an hour or two later when my phone rang. It was the Lion lady. Lion lady does, by the way, have a name, but I’m not entirely sure if it would be appropriate to name her here. Anyway, she said that her husband had had back surgery and just came home from the hospital on Friday. I thought it was odd that he was the one who had called on Friday. She also said her grandson had been in the hospital. I felt bad because I had some unkind thoughts about her during the last week. I guess that is God’s way of reminding me not to be so quick to judge. Anyway, Lion lady said she had a packet of information for me and I could stop by and pick it up anytime. We’ll be in Gibbon on Tuesday for Adam’s dentist appointment so I said we would stop by Tuesday afternoon.

So what did I learn today? Letm e see: don’t be too quick to judge others. That’s been a little bit of a problem for me during the last couple of years. I get so caught up in feeling sorry for myself, that I sometimes forget that other people have problems too. God has to slap me upside the head sometimes and remind me of that. I also got a nice little reminder of the power of prayer. Pastor Brian said he would pray for a response, and by golly I got one, just a few hours later.

As I am writing this, another thought occurs to me as well. I’ve been praying for a response from Lion lady all week, but it was not until I shared my concern with someone else, and got that person praying as well, that God made something happen. I’ve heard Doctor Stanley talk about this on the radio. It is so important for others to pray for us, as it is important for us to pray for them. Prayer is a powerful thing, but when many members of Christ’s body come together toward a common purpose, that’s when miracles begin to happen.

And once again, God has used my blog to help me understand some things. I sat down here simply to report on what happened today, but in doing so, I now see that there was a lot more going on beneath the surface that I might have missed. Writing things down has proven to be a pretty good way to organize my thoughts.

James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Journal - Email Blues

Okay, so I had another idea for my Blogger problems. I thought I would create a whole new Blogger account, completely separate from my existing account. I would then try the keyboard shortcuts in the new account and see if they work. That would tell me if there’s a problem with the current settings in my existing account, or if the problem lies elsewhere. It’s a long shot, but I’m running out of ideas.

In order to creat a new Blogger account, I need a new email address. Creating a new account with the same email will only attach a new blog to my existing account.

My existing email is through Google, a g mail account, so I went there to create a second email account. I went through the setup and provided all my information, but I got hung up on the CAPCHA. The Google mail CAPCHA has a listen link so you can hear the numbers and type them out. I listened to the recording and I could hear the numbers fairly well, although some of them were hard to understand. The main problem was the numbers were being spoken too close together. I would hear a number and type it rightaway. As soon as I typed the number, my screen reader would say it back to me. While my screen reader was talking, the next number was being spoken on the recording and I couldn't hear it. I tried several times but just couldn't manage it.

Next, I went to Mail dot com. Mail dot com is unique in that you can actually choose your own domain from a long list. First you choose a category that interests you like music. When you choose the music category, it gives you a list of domains to choose from such as “@matchbox20 dot com” or something like that. My favorite was the World category. Under the world category you can choose domains like "@rome dot com", or @paris dot com.” Anyway I went through the sign up process and got to the CAPCHA. Let me tell you, Mail dot com has the best CAPCHA I’ve ever seen. Or heard. When you click the listen link, you first hear a clear woman’s voice explaining exactly what you need to do. She says, “Listen to the recording and type out all the words you hear with spaces in between them. If you can’t make out all the words, don't worry. Just make your best guess." Then the recording begins. It sounds like a clip from an old movie. You can hear someone delivering a perfectly clear line of dialogue and all you have to do is type what you hear. No evil voices in the background trying to distract you by sucking your soul out through your headphones. I was very impressed. I got a new email account. The only problem was, I couldn’t log in to it to check for mail. Every time I try, I get a blank page that says "User name service." No links, no nothing, just those three words. Maybe it’s a temporary glitch. I’ll check back there later.

Finally, I tried Microsoft’s Hotmail. At Hotmail, you can choose from two different domains, “@hotmail dot com", or "@live dot com." I keyed in all my information and got down to the CAPCHA. Here, I had the same problem I had with G mail. The numbers came too close together. Also, Hotmail's CAPCHA does not return your cursor to the text box after you click the listen link. The other two did.

So that all took me about an hour and I accomplished absolutely nothing. That’s kind of how this whole week has been. I'm trying so hard to keep my Blogger blog, I really don’t want to have to learn a new system at Wordpress, but I'm just not getting anywhere. I haven’t completely given up hope yet, though.

Hebrews 10:36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Dream Diary - Lost at the Pool

I had a really terrible night’s sleep last night. We went to bed at our regular time and I put on my headphones to listen to my audio book as usual. After a little while, however, my back started hurting. That happens to me once in a while. My back never seems to bother me during the day, just when I'm laying in bed. I got up to take some aspirin, but after I took them I remembered that the generic aspirin we get has caffeine in it. My back stopped hurting but I was wide awake after that.

I lay there for what seemed like a couple of hours listening to my book when I started to feel hungry. So I got up again and ate some Town House crackers, my favorite late night snack.

With my hunger taken care of I went back to bed. By then my back was starting to hurt again, but I didn’t want to take any more aspirin so I just lay there trying to decide if I should just get up. Pretty soon, Joni started to stir and she got up. I thought she was just going to the bathroom or something, but when I checked the time it was a little after six o’clock. That surprised me because I thought it was only about two or maybe three at the latest. Evidently I did sleep for a couple of hours without even realizing it. Also I took my headphones off at some point although I don’t remember that either. After Joni got up I put them back on. I started backing up my book to see where I had left off and sure enough I had missed a couple of hours. I decided to put the radio on then and I dozed until about nine o’clock.

In the hours between six and nine I dreamed about the swimming pool in Gibbon. The pool was different, though. It had a different shape and the surroundings were all different too. It was all surrounded by a tall chain link fence, though, just like in real life. I was trying to leave the pool but I couldn’t find my way out of the fence. I think the only way out of the fence was through the pool house where the showers are, but the building was like a maze inside and I just couldn’t get out. I could see my car through the fence, it was the red Probe I drove years and years ago, but I just couldn't get there.

The rest of the dream is mostly faded away. I have a vague impression that I did finally reach my car, but it turned out to be the wrong car. Like, I had thought it was mine, but it turned out not to be.

I think I mentioned this before, but I seem to have a lot of dreams where I am lost. No surprise there, I do kind of feel lost a lot of the time.

Well, anyway, I didn’t feel groggy and miserable today like I thought I would so that’s good. I didn’t work out today, though. I didn't have that much energy and I was afraid it would aggravate my back. I should sleep good tonight, I’ve never had back pain two nights in a row before.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Journal - Too Much Time

Is it any wonder I’m not crazy?
Is it any wonder I’m sane at all?
Well, I’m so tired of losing, I got nothing to do
And all day to do it.
Styx – “Too Much Time On My Hands”

So last week I got another letter from BCBS. The last letter I got a couple of weeks ago asked for my general health medical records for the last five years. The letter I got last week asked for records from my eye doctor for the last five years. Now why on earth couldn’t they have asked for both of those at the same time? Because they are being deliberately difficult, that’s why. I suppose they’re hoping I will just give up on the whole thing if they drag it out long enough. No such luck, BCBS, I got nothin’ better to do. Joni took the letter to the library today to make a copy. We’ll have to mail it to Doctor Hargrave in Dallas. Poor Doctor Hargrave, my file is absolutely huge and they’re going to have to mail or fax all that paperwork. I know they’ll be glad to do it, though, they’re good people.

I’m still working out regularly on the exercise bike, five days a week. My workouts are up to forty minutes and I’m starting to see some progress. My fat l'il belly isn't quite so fat as it used to be and my muscles are stronger. I’m not going to make my workouts any longer because I’m afraid I’ll start to get bored with it. Instead, I'll work on pushing harder. Also, I'm not eating as much junk food as I used to. In fact I don't really eat snacks at all anymore, only once in a while. Come to think of it, I usually eat snacks when I’m up late at night writing my blogs. I’ve got crackers and cheese tonight. I guess it’s easier to take care of yourself when you have lots of free time.

I missed the Big 12 basketball tournament games because I never was able to find out when they were being played. I have found out since, however, that Nebraska won their first round game, but lost in the second round to Texas A&M. Texas A&M went on to win the tournament. I don’t know anything about basketball so I'm confused about something. Nebraska was named Big 12 champions for having the best record, but Texas A&M won the tournament and was named Big 12 tournament champions. What’s up with that? I’m having trouble finding out when Nebraska will be playing in the NCAA tournament coming up later this week, so if you know please tell me. All I have been able to find out is that they are playing Northern Iowa in the first round, don’t know when, though. Oh, I also found out that Nebraska's Kelsay Griffin was named Big 12 player of the year or something like that. She really is good from what I can tell on the radio.

I had quite a mess on my hands today. I was messing around with some of my audio books and dropped a whole stack of CD’s on the floor, about fifty in all. It took me a good hour and a half to get them back in order again. That’s okay, it gives me something to do.

On a final note, my friend Benning, okay he’s Joni's friend from her online writing classes but he's been reading a lot of my book reviews over at “Reviews From The Deep”. Anyway, he said some nice things about my book reviews on his own blog, “Benning’s War.” Benning is very much up on today’s issues and if you like to keep up to date you should go take a look. And don’t forget to leave him a note to let him know yu were there. Bloggers like getting comments, it makes us feel validated.

Psalms 39:4-5 Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.

James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."