Men's Fraternity Week 24

Men’s Fraternity
Week #24 – Blessing Letter to Children/Siblings

Introduction: Letter Accountability

• How did you present your letter from last week?
• What kind of reaction did you receive?
• If you did not deliver your letter, tell your group when you plan to deliver it and how you plan to deliver it.

Proverbs 3:27-28
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

I. Family blessing hinges on 5 key elements.

1. Meaningful touch

Mark 10:13-16
And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.


2. A spoken message
• The misconception we have is that simply being present communicates blessing.
• We need to be aware how powerful the absence of spoken words can be. (Most common phrase: “I’ll tell them tomorrow.”)
Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 10:11
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

Proverbs 10:31-32
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.


3. Attach high value to the one being blessed.
• In the Hebrew the root meaning of blessing is to “bow the knee”.
• It is important that you point out the qualities and character traits not the performance.
4. Picture a special future for the one being blessed.
• Words that picture a special future are like a campfire on a dark night.
• In John 14:2-3 Jesus went to great lengths to assure the insecure disciples that they had a special future with Him.

John 14:2-3
In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.


5. Make an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.

James 2:15-16
If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?


• Mere words of blessing are not enough
• Follow through is key to conveying the truth of the blessing.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


• The better we know the bent of our child and their unique set of needs the better we will be able to give them their own unique blessing.

Dealing with Children rejecting your godly legacy.

1 Corinthians 3:8
He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.

• Parenting is about planting and watering.
• Know your purpose and work together
• Reward is based on the work done not based on who your children become.

The greatest legacy you can leave your kids is who you were as a Christ-follower. What your children do with who you were is their choice.

Personal application/exercise:

Take the time we have left and use the fill in the blanks and write your favorite memories of your oldest child or the one that may need this letter most at this time. If you have no children write it to your sibling, friend, or mentor in your life.

Sharing what you wrote: Share which person you wrote and three memories.

Deliver your letter by our next session!

Men's Fraternity Week 21

Men’s Fraternity
Week #21 - Review

Introduction

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

Hebrews 2:1
Therefore we must pay closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.

Discussion:

When your alarm goes off in the morning do you immediately shut it off and get out of bed, or do you hit the snooze button? How many times do you hit the snooze button?

• The effectiveness of the alarm is in direct correlation to how much you don’t want to hear it!
• We are going to review the journey we have taken through the 33 Series and ask ourselves – Have I pushed the snooze button?

I. Man and His Design

1. God’s call to Every Man!

Philippians 2:5-8
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped, [Rejected Passivity] but emptied himself by taking form of servant, being born in likeness of men. [Accepted Responsibility] And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. [Lead Courageously] Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name. Invest Eternally


2. Four Faces of Manhood

Acts 13:36
For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep.


• King - Righteous Energy
Proverbs 20:7
The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!

• Warrior - Courageous Energy
1 Corinthians 9:26-27
So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

• Lover - Relational Energy
1 Thessalonians 2:7-9
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.

• Friend - Connecting Energy
Proverbs 17:17; 27:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
3. Seasons

Psalms 90:12
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Transitions between stages of Life.

• Spring: 0-20 - Identity
• Summer: 20’s-30’s - Learning and Growing
• Fall: 40’s-60’s - Influence
• Winter: 60’s-beyond - Sage


4. Man and His Story

Psalms 34:4, 6
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles.

Events and Experiences that have shaped your life!


• Look back to make peace with your wounds.
• Father wound
• Mother wound
• Loneliness wound
• Heart wound
• Dealing and Healing of Wounds.


5. Man and His Traps

Jeremiah 2:13
for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

Looking deep into our heart idols in our lives and the traps we get entangled in.
• Control idol
• Significance idol
• Comfort idol


6. Answering the Alarm

Ephesians 5:14-16
Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

The way we are designed by our Creator is that we are built to live for something greater than ourselves. We are wired to outlive our life!
• Discover the Transcendent Cause – Reject passivity.
• Leverage your influence now – Accept responsibility/Lead Courageously.
• Invest for eternity - Make an eternal difference in the lives of those around you!

Discussion:

Why is it difficult for us to hear and respond to the early warning alarms God puts in our lives?

What alarms sounded off in your life through this series?

As we reviewed our 33 Journey of these past weeks, where have you seen yourself pressing the snooze in your life? What do you need to wake up instead of pressing snooze?

Men's Fraternity Week 19

Men’s Fraternity
Week #19 Significance



Introduction:

• We have talked about daily battles worth fighting, we have talked about who or what we’re giving our life to:
• Who or what we are worshipping.
• Who or what we are letting define us.
• Who or what we are serving.

I. Deep Idol of Significance

Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Lie of Significance – if a certain person, a certain social group or colleagues in my profession… If they find me worthy of attention or love, if they acknowledge my value… then I am significant.

[How often do we base our decisions on what others will think of us?]

• Idol of Significance feeds on the opinions of others.
• We care more about what people think than what God thinks.

When people give affirmation or feedback, which is a good thing, but then they become the greatest things when we cross the line of the Significance Idol.

”Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, cleverer, or better looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, clever, or good looking there would be nothing to be proud about.” C.S. Lewis

II. The Traps With the Idol of Significance

• Approval trap.
• Recognition trap.
• Relationship trap.


1. Approval Trap


• In Biblical terms it’s called “The Fear of Man.”
• Driven by fear and becoming overly concerned with disappointing or upsetting people.

[Find significance in your actions, not in the approval you get from them.]

Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.


• Turning to others for what only God can provide is a direct result of accepting Satan’s trap:

Significance = performance + other’s opinions


• The lie of being approved by others to feel good about myself causes me to fear rejection and then conforming our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others.

Acts 20:24
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

Key questions to consider:< br />

• Does the thought of disappointing people effect your peace and contentment?
• Do you have a tendency to avoid telling people what you really think?
• Are you hypersensitive to criticism and you either are crushed or you seek to crush the one who said it?

Approval trap is fueled by the “steroid” to prove yourself!


2. Recognition Trap
• The trap is based on pride and hungers for admiration and fame.
• Being recognized can be a good thing, but it becomes toxic when it becomes the greatest thing.
2 Corinthians 10:12
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

Recognition trap is often fueled by comparison with other men and the recognition they receive.


• When we regret doing something because we didn’t get the recognition it uncovers our real motives.


3. Relationship Trap
• A man is tempted to feel “less than” if he is not in a relationship or finds himself single again.

1 Corinthians 7:32
The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.

Singleness provides a unique opportunity to invest eternally by giving undivided devotion to the Lord.

III. Replacing the Idol of Significance

• The answer to the fear of man is the fear of God.

Luke 12:4-5
I tell you,my friends, do not fear those who kill the body and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I warn you whom to fear, fear him who, after he has killed has authority to cast into hell. Yes I tell you, fear him!

• Know that people’s actions are more about their hearts than about us, so do not take their rejection or mistreatment personal.

Isaiah 51:7-8, 12
Hear me you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations. – I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass…

• Remember that people are mortals like us, they too are fallible and are going to die someday but God is infallible and eternal.

Understand who has the real power, both now and forever; and let no one define who you are but God!

”It is the most natural thing in the world to be scared, and the clearest evidence of God’s grace at work in our hearts is when we do not get into panics. The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else.” Oswald Chambers

• We were made for more than worrying about what people may think.
• We were born for more than fearing someone’s opinion.
• We were redeemed for more than living with focus on pleasing humans.
• We were saved for more, much more, than this shallow approach to life.
• We were chosen to do the will of God and not the idol of man’s popularity.

I AM TO FEAR NOTHING AND NO ONE BUT GOD!

Fear of man vs. fear of God - There are no other options.

Questions for discussion:

Which of the significance traps is most relevant for you: the approval trap, the recognition trap, or the relationship trap? Discuss.

Living according to the false belief I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself causes us to fear rejection conforming all of our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others. How are you affected by this belief?

In Acts 20:24 Paul says, But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Discuss what traps Paul had to work through and how he worked through them.

Men's Fraternity Week 16

Men’s Fraternity
Week #16 Battle Plan Modeled


Pastor Brian likes to begin our sessions with short videos, today he showed this one:



Review

Our “Battle Plan”

• Admit the Struggle.
• Identify the lie.
• Replace with the truth.

1. Jesus’ Example

1. Just like Adam in the Garden of Eden, Jesus was tempted by the great liar himself, satan.

Hebrews 2:18
For because he himself (Jesus) has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. [And because Jesus was human we will suffer when tempted the same way He did.]

• There is a suffering we face when dealing with temptation.
• Jesus can identify with the suffering we face in times of temptation and help us.

Hebrews 4:15-16
We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

• We need to have confidence in the grace and mercy of God to give us the help we need.

2. Jesus’ Model for us.

A. Jesus tempted with the deep idol of comfort

Satan: ”If you are the Son of God command these stones to become loaves of bread.” Matthew 4:3

Lie: Satisfy your needs through your own means.

Jesus: ”Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4

Replace with Truth: True happiness comes not in immediate gratification but in self-sacrifice to benefit others.

B. Jesus tempted with the deep idol of significance.

Satan: ”If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, ‘He will command His angels concerning you, and on their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” Matthew 4:6

Lie: Proving his significance through effort of power and performance.

jesus: ”It is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Matthew 4:7

Replace with Truth: Understand your place and God’s authority.

C. Jesus tempted with deep idol of control.

Satan: ”All these [kingdoms of the world] I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Matthew 4:9

Lie: Happiness comes when you are in charge.

Jesus: ”Be gone satan! For it is written, you shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve. Matthew 4:10

Replace with Truth: God is the focus and the only one we serve. [The things we are in charge of end up being in charge of us.]

”Our chief enemy is the lie that says sin will make our future happier. Our chief weapon is the truth that says God will make our future happier. When my thirst for joy and meaning and passion are satisfied by the presence and promises of Christ, the power of sin is broken. We do not yield to the offer of sandwich meat when we smell the steak sizzling on the grill.” John Piper

Discussion:

How do the two passages in Hebrews help you when you are dealing with temptations in your life?

Remember that all idols over-promise and under-deliver. Discuss what idols are out there today that we as men are getting duped by? What are they promising? [Everywhere we look are advertisements promising that if we drive a certain type of car or drink a certain type of beverage etc we will be happier, more successful, more attractive to the opposite sex. Many promises that never deliver.]

Proverbs 28:13 says, ”People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them they will receive mercy.” Discuss amongst yourselves why we want to conceal and why we are reluctant to confess our sins? What is the truth conveyed here?

Ephesians 5:11, 13 says ”Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness but instead expose them… When anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible.” What is the truth that we need to acknowledge here?

1 Corinthians 14:20
Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

What is the challenge for us when we read this vese?

Men's Fraternity Week 13

Men’s Fraternity
Week #13 Idols

Pastor Brian began our first session of the new year with this video from the Skit Guys.



Exodus 20:3
You shall have no other gods before me.

Psalm 106:36
They served their idols which became a snare to them.

1. Goals for this session:

• Discuss some key realities that are foundational to the traps that a man faces in life.
• Describe a framework for understanding temptations in the life of a man.
• To help get to the root issue. The sin beneath the sin.

Questions for Discussion:
1. Many men live in both shame and guilt while hiding from those around them. Why would men abandon the “abundant life” that is available in Jesus Christ for idols that trap them in bondage? (Some examples of these idols are: workaholism, pornography and other addictions, desperate need for approval, disappointment with life or fear of failure).

2. Why would we ever choose anything other than God’s best for our lives?

2. Key Realities:

a. In order to experience ultimate freedom you must practice ruthless honesty.

2 Samuel 10:11
And he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you.

[Praying for others is good but you must also be willing to step in and help others in need.]

David White puts it this way: “All of us live in fear of exposure. We don’t want the worst things about us to be made known. We posture and wear masks. We establish elaborate facades and hide behind our good deeds. This refusal to be truly known and exposed keeps us stuck in our sin.”

b. There’s no such thing as a life apart from struggle and temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

c. Understand grace.

[Grace can be defined as unmerited favor granted to us by God.]

Ephesians 2:8-9
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

d. Authentic manhood is primarily about heart change.

• The noble fight against sin and temptation is not just about behavior modification.
• For instance, God doesn’t want us just to stop lying He wants us to love the truth!
• Behavior modification without heart change is dangerous.

3. The Framework of Idolatry

• An idol can be anything, even a good thing. [The idol itself is not necessarily evil. Like guns: guns are not evil, it’s what we do with them.]
• Idolatry is built on a lie. [This will make me feel better, help me achieve my goals, etc.]
• Idols come from legitimate desires that are being expressed in inappropriate ways.
• Idols can be divided into two categories, or what Pastor Tim Keller calls surface idols and deep idols.

Examples of Deep Idols

• Control

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

• Significance

Galatians 1:10
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. [This follows closely with my own life verse 2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed rightly handling the word of truth.]

• Comfort

Questions for Discussion:
1. The idols that we face are tempting us with relentless intensity throughout life. Which of the idols discussed above is one that is a consistent area of struggle for you? Practice “ruthless honesty” on this one!

[I volunteered that one of my most difficult idols to overcome is money: something that I think and worry about too much and that I have the most difficulty giving over to God. Another man at my table mentioned Control and it was generally agreed upon that some control is probably necessary in most situations but we also have to understand that things will not always go as planned and we need to be flexible.]

2. It has been said that we are only “as unhealthy as our secrets.” Do you agree or disagree with that statement? Why or why not?

[A couple of the men at my table started talking about secrets and were of the opinion that some secrets are better left unsaid as bringing them to light will only cause more harm. I’m not really sure what to think about that. I think it really comes down to trust, if you’re sharing your secrets with someone you truly trust with your heart and soul then that person won’t judge you for it or be hurt by it; they will help you to rise above it.]

3. Share one or more of the idols that you would like others to be praying for your concerning. Then take a few minutes together and pray before heading out for the rest of your day.

Men's Fraternity Week 12

Men’s Fraternity
Week #12 Heart

Pastor Brian began our session today with a funny video about a classic old Christmas song:



Reminder of the Four Pillars of Manhood:

• Reject passivity.
• Accept responsibility.
• Lead courageously.
• Wait for the greater reward. God’s reward.

Remember that men who live out the four pillars of manhood are difference-makers!

1. Understanding the Heart Wound:

• God created mankind without sin and Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world.
• Once Adam and Eve sinned, everything changed.

Genesis 3:6-13
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. ⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ And he said, “I heard the sound of you in te garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” ¹¹ He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ¹² The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” ¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done? The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

[Adam did not reject passivity and he did not accept responsibility. His first reaction was to hide from God, but God sought him out to reconcile.]

• The punishment for sin is both spiritual and physical death.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

• Understanding this alienation from God can help us understand why so often our reality doesn’t measure up to our hopes and dreams.
• There is a longing in each one of us to be reconciled to God for all of eternity.
• The longing is present even if we deny it.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

• The effects of sin are seen in all of creation.

Romans 8:22-23
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we walk eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

• One day Jesus will make all things new.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

• Until that time we have to live between what is and what will be. [but we are not called to simply wait]

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

2. The Journey from Here to Eternity

• We will all struggle with sin.

Romans 7:18-19
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

• The eseence of the heart wound is our total inability to do anything good before God apart from a right relationship with Jesus Christ.

Romans 3:10-12
”None is righteous, no, not one; ¹¹ no one understands; no one seeks for God. ¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

• One reason it is difficult for us to understand this truth is that we are not as evil as we could be. [without our own set of man-made laws, mankind would live to its fullest evil capacity.

Wayne Grudem writes: “The constraints of civil laws, the expectations of family and society, and the conviction of human conscience all provide restraining influences on the sinful tendencies in our hearts…But in spide of the ability to do good in many senses of the word, our inherited corruption, our tendency to sin…means that as far as God is concerned we are not able to do anything that pleases Him.”

• God has already provided the only solution for our sinful heart condition.

Romans 5:6
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 14:6
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

• Faith in Jesus doesn’t mean we all of a sudden become sinless. We are forgiven but not perfect.

Sanctification defined: Sanctification is a progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and like Christ in our actual lives.

3. Practical Help as we Grow to be More Like Jesus Christ

• We need to recognize and feel our feelings.
• We must tell the truth about our hearts to those who are trustworthy.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man

• Give the truth of your heart to God.

John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Group Questions:
1. How has the brokenness of the world touched your life? What does God’s promise to redeem the world mean to you?

2. Why do you think it’s difficult for men to be transparent with one another? Discuss how transparency is difficult for you personally.

3. The end of this session suggested three ways for you to connect to your heart. How good are you in living out these three areas?

• Recognize and feel your feelings,
• Tell the truth about your heart to those who are trustworthy
• Giving the truth of your heart to God

Journal - Cold Weather

So I had my day off on Monday and I was definitely ready for it. As I mentioned previously, my feet and legs were pretty sore after my first few days on the job.

Tuesday I only worked from 10 to 3:30. I wasn’t feeling too bad when I started but by the end of my shift I was getting kind of sore again. I’ve discovered that weekdays at Walmart aren’t all that busy, especially in the morning. That’s nice because at least us cart-pushers get to take a little break in between runs to the parking lot, unlike Saturday when you pretty much have to keep going all the time. The slower pace is good if you’re sore but I can see where those days might drag a little once I get over the soreness.

Then on Wednesday I had another long 8 to 5 shift. The day started out cold so I wore jeans and a jacket but by noon it had warmed up pretty nice so I changed into some shorts that I had taken with me. I think I took my jacket off by 10 or so. Even on a slower day it doesn’t take long to get warmed up. Much of the talk among the cart-pushers this day was about the cold weather that was supposed to be coming in Thursday through the weekend. I was asking everyone what they like to wear for cold and/or rainy weather and got some good advice. Even though the pace was slow that day I was still pretty sore again by the end of my shift. My feet are holding up better but my calves have been really hurting. I can’t tell you how good it always feels when I finally get out to my car and sit down for the drive home.

Thursday I was off but Joni and I needed to go in to do the grocery shopping. I didn’t really feel up to going but I also needed to pick up some cold weather gear. I picked up some warmer socks to wear with my boots and a stocking cap, which I may or may not wear and also some good winter gloves that won’t get all wet if it gets snowy. I got a warm jacket that I hope will be waterproof enough to wear in snow or rain. It’s not as heavy as a winter coat but it’s big enough to wear layers underneath. I think that will be better so I can add or remove layers depending on how each day is. It also has a hood I can pull up to keep the cold wind off my neck and face. I also got some of that water-proofing spray for my hiking boots and I hope that will keep them reasonably dry in the rain or slush. It sounds like most of the guys like to wear winter coveralls for really cold days so I may get some of those at some point. Walmart has them for about $50 so I guess that’s not unreasonable.

Anyway, we finished our shopping and came home and had some lunch. Then I water-proofed my boots with two coats of that spray. It was indeed much colder today, only about 55 degrees as I write this at 3:30 in the afternoon. I should be all set for the weekend though with expected highs in the lower 50’s. Tomorrow I have another short day, 10 to 3:30 and then a long 8 to 5 for gameday Saturday. I hope my legs are feeling better by then; that could be a long day.

All in all I think this is a pretty good job. It’s physical, but not at all stressful like working in a kitchen or an office. We’re pretty much left to ourselves outside with nobody looking over our shoulders all the time and even on a busy day like gameday Saturdays the pace is quick but not hectic. I’ve been told that when it’s rainy or snowy or just plain cold we’re allowed to stay inside the cart bay in between runs to the parking lot. The cart bays are on each side of the building, north and south, and that’s where we bring the cars up from the lot. There’s about a four foot high roll-up door where we push the carts into the building so I guess we can just duck in there to get out of the weather when we need to. That doesn’t sound so bad and in the meantime I sure have enjoyed working out in the warm sunshing. I come home each day with my face all sunburned even though I’ve been wearing my hat. I’ve learned that you can burn a lot faster in an asphalt parking lot than you can in your garden. But like I said before, I spent enough time in the sun this summer so that the burns are always faded by the time I wake up the next morning.

Psalms 90:17 Let the favor[a] of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! ESV

1 Corinthians 4:12 We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; ESV

Endings and Beginnings

Well, here it is, officially fall already. This summer just seemed to whiz by. Our beautiful flower gardens are now mostly dried up and dead, our one and only watermelon has been picked and consumed. The corn fields are dried up and harvest has begun. The pumpkins are still producing but I know that soon enough they will be gone too. I’m at the end of one of the most enjoyable summers of my life and that’s kind of sad as endings usually are.

Let’s do a little catching up shall we?

On Thursday, September 14, I had my checkup with Dr. Feilmeier in Kearney. It had been two months since I last saw him and things had been going well so I wasn’t expecting much news one way or the other.

The Doctor’s assistant took us in and tested me out on the eye chart and everything as usual. She put up a line on the chart and I read it, then she brought up the next line and I read that, then she put up a third and I read that one too. Then she said, “Great, we’re all done!” I was thinking “Why are we stopping, I wasn’t even struggling yet?” Imagine my surprise when she told me that was the 20/20 line! Back in July I had been testing at about 20/25 with my new glasses. That was much better than I had ever expected to see again and I wasn’t really expecting more than that. I guess God had other ideas! When Dr. Feilmeier came in he was looking at my chart and said, “Are you just showing off now or what?” I could tell he was genuinely happy for me. Happy for himself a bit too I think at having completed such a successful surgery and recovery, but also genuinely happy for me. Joni told him I had my driver’s license and he seemed sincerely happy about that too. “That’s a big step up from that stick you used to carry around isn’t it?” he commented. Then we looked at some pictures of his new baby boy, who was born around the time of my last visit in July, and we were all done. I remember back in 2008 when we had decided to move up here from Dallas and I had been wondering how I would ever find another doctor as wonderful as Dr. Hargrave, who had been taking care of my eyes for about 7 years. God was in control though, and I ended up with one that I like and trust just as much, if not more. I am reminded, once again, of Jeremiah 29:11 which says ”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

So I’m seeing 20/20 now. With that kind of vision it seems like I should be able to read anything with no trouble at all, but I do still struggle with some things. I still can’t read my comic books, for instance, without my magnifying glass. I guess that’s because the fonts are kind of funny and the contrast isn’t very good, often black on blue or purple or something instead of black on white. I don’t have any trouble at the computer unless the font is very small. I can read books and papers pretty well as long as the print isn’t too small and there’s plenty of light. Still, I’m seeing much better than I ever thought I would and you won’t hear any complaints out of me.

Last Thursday, the 20th, I got call from Walmart for a job interview. I had applied there back on August 27. I went in on the 21st for my interview and it went reasonably well. It sounded like they were prepared to offer me a job pending background and drug tests. I had told them I couldn’t drive in the dark and they sounded like they would be willing to work around that. I was there for a little over an hour and then they sent me out to a place on the east edge of Kearney that does their drug screenings for them. The manager at Walmart had told me that the test results would take a couple of days and that I should hear from them this week. Well, first thing this morning they called and asked if I could come in for orientation. The job is mine! My orientation is on Wednesday. Tomorrow I’ll have to run in and get some clothes; more jeans as I have only one decent pair, and some plain navy blue t-shirts. I suppose I’ll also have to get something warm for the winter sometime soon.

This is not a very glamorous job, I’ll be one of those people who gathers up the shopping carts from the parking lot and brings them back up to the store. Also, it pays minimum wage, which may end up being a little less than I’m getting from social security. But if this is where God wants me right now, then this is where I’ll be and I will do the job for God like it says in 1 Corinthians 10:31 ”So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” There is a plus side: I think this will be a nice easy job for me to kind of ease my way back into the work force. And who knows where it will lead. I’m guessing most Walmart employees start out as either cart-pullers or working the checkout. I would much rather be pulling carts than doing checkout. I’ll stick to my old standby here: If you don’t appreciate what God gives you, then you have no reason to expect something more, or something better. If I do this job as well as I can, and do it for God, then perhaps he will give me something better at some point. Matthew 25:21 ”His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much…”

So, I stand here on the brink of the next stage of my life. I’ll admit I’m scared. Endings are often sad, and new beginnings often are scary because you just never know what will happen. The last year of my life has been a happy and comfortable one, recovering from my surgery and enjoying my returned vision. The garden was a lot of fun this summer. Now it’s time to move on to the next thing. God likes to challenge us with new things now and then. That’s what keeps us growing and developing in our relationship with Him. It is my task, and all of ours, to trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. And really, how could I not trust Him? A year ago I was blind, and now I’m seeing 20/20. Last spring I had a 3-month long infection in my eye that left no damage at all. He has carried me through everything, and I’ve never gone hungry, never had to live on the streets, never really wanted for anything. No one on Earth could do all that for me, only God, my provider, my rock, my salvation. Psalms 118:8-9 ”It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.”

Journal - Graduation and Glasses and Gardening (oh my!)

Well, I’ve gotten a little behind, haven’t I? Let me see, what happened this last week?

Last Saturday, May 12, was Kylie’s graduation. It was my first time seeing the gymnasium at the new school. It’s pretty nice looking. I’m sorry to say that the band sounded terrible, nothing like the old days. Mr. Kercher would never have tolerated us sounding like that. I thought going to graduation would bring back a lot of memories, but it really didn’t I don’t seem to remember much of my own graduation. I have clearer memories of playing in the band for graduations when I was an underclassmen.

After the ceremony at the school, we all went to Bobbi and Mike’s house for Kylie’s reception. Uncle Butch and Aunt LeeDel were there so it was good to see them and to sit and visit with them for a little while. Mike had spent the whole day Friday smoking some pork for the reception and it turned out great. It was a fun day, as days with family always are.

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were spent watering plants, doing a little weeding here and there, and just generally watching everything grow. Of the four types of seeds we tried to start in trays, tomatoes, peppers, green onions, and strawberries, not a single thing sprouted, so I took all four trays and poured out the contents into an area I had prepared in the garden.

On Wednesday, I had my eyeglass appointment with Dr. Vaughan at the Kearney Eye Institute. He ran me through the tests and, just as on the prior week with Dr. Feilmeier, I was hitting close to 20/30. My eye is still very unstable though. Dr. Vaughan had a little trouble getting any good numbers, and he said that we could do that every day for a week and probably get different numbers each time. My eye is clearly healing and improving all the time, but it’s just very unstable. Dr. Vaughan suggested another appointment next month to see how the numbers compare, and recommended that I hold off on the glasses until things settle down a bit, which is what I decided to do. I was disappointed, sure, but not as much as you might think. I am really pretty okay with the vision that I have now, and I think I could live happily for the rest of my life with what I have now. The problem is, I need to find work pretty soon. That will be difficult, and without better vision it will be even more so. I’m not technically disabled anymore so my social security won’t continue for very much longer. I have to keep reminding myself that God will handle this, just as he has handled everything else. I’m pretty sure he didn’t give me my sight back just to have me lost my disability payments and become homeless. Right God? Right?

Thursday and Friday were filled with more gardening excitement. Oh, and I also started working out again! After my surgery last October, I had to stop working out until my eye healed for a few weeks. I never really got back into it after that, only getting on the bike sporadically. Then when I developed that infection at the beginning of March I stopped completely because there were a lot of trips to Omaha and such. On top of that I’ve been taking Prednisone, which makes me want to eat a lot. Well, lately I’ve been noticing I’m getting kind of round around the middle again and was disappointed because I had burned a lot of that away when I was using the bike regularly. So this week I finally got back on. I worked out 4 days, skipping Wednesday because of my eye appointment. They were fairly short workouts since I haven’t done it for a while, but next week I should be able to go longer.

Umm, what else? Oh yes, we have watermelons and cucumbers sprouting. All six of the cucumber mounds I planted have sprouted, and I think three of the five watermelon mounds have started. Boy I hope we get some watermelons this year! And making pickles would be fun too.

We also noticed the other day that there may be something growing where I dumped out those trays. We’re not sure, but Joni thinks it might be a pepper plant. Keep your fingers crossed!

1 Corinthians 3:7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. ESV

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. ESV

Journal - Plumbing Woes

I guess it’s been a while since I wrote anything eh? Aside from audiobook reviews that is, I’m always writing those. I keep telling myself that I need to get in here and just jot some things down but I always end up working on something else instead. Well, I’m finally here so let me see…what’s been going on?

Ah yes! We’ve had some plumbing issues lately. Our house has two bathrooms, one up and one down. The downstairs bathroom quit working a long time ago. I can’t remember exactly when but it was at least a year ago. Since it’s below ground it has this pump that draws the water up from the drains and the toilet and that’s what quit working. Instead of the water being drawn up by the pump it just came back up in the shower or the toilet would run over. We got in touch with the landlord at the time but he wasn’t interested in doing anything about it. So we learned to get along with one bathroom.

At some time during the last year, our upstairs toilet started having problems. Nothing major, just one of those things where you have to jiggle the handle every time you flush it. Annoying! Then, a couple of weeks ago, the cold water stopped flowing to the toilet and the shower and the washing machine. It just stopped all at once. We still had cold water to the bathroom sink and the kitchen sink, and the hot water was okay throughout the house, but no cold to those three things. Those three things all happen to be on the same wall, toilet and shower on one side of the wall, and washing machine on the other side of that wall which is the back porch.

I got in touch with the landlord again right away and he said he’d get his plumber out here. We spent a couple of days not washing clothes and not showering and filling the toilet tank with buckets, but finally the plumber came. This was, I believe, on the Thursday before our big snowstorm, which was two weeks ago last night. Oh, the plumber’s name is Richard Matheson, also the name of a sci-fi/horror writer that I like quite a bit.

Anyway, Richard came at around 9 that morning and started looking at the tangle of pipes in our basement. It took him about an hour just to figure out which pipe fed cold water up into that wall, but he finally found it and cut out a section where he thought the problem was. He got it right on the first try. The section of pipe he cut out was completely filled with dirt and roots. How they got in there I’ll never know, and even the plumber who has been in the business for some 30 years said he’d never seen anything quite like it before. By then it was getting on toward 11:30 or thereabouts. Richard needed to go to his home in Shelton to get some tools and equipment and said he’d grab a bite to eat then come back and finish the job.

He got back here at around 1 or 1:30 and started in replacing the sections of pipe he had cut away. That cutting process was kind of interesting incidentally. He had this kind of long electric saw that he just held against the pipe and cut right through. It reminded me of those chain saws that are on long poles where you can stand on the ground and cut away high branches. Now that I think about it, it also reminds me a little of Grandma’s electric knife that she used to slice roast beef with. But I digress.

He had brought in a length of a sort of flexible plastic tubing that was colored blue. He said that’s what they use now-a-days as someone decided the old PVC tubing was poisoning the water. Quite a talker was Richard, explaining everything he was doing and discussing a great many other topics while he worked. It didn’t take him long at all to get the new pipe sections in and the cold water was flowing again.

The majority of the work he did was actually in the ceiling of the downstairs bathroom, which is directly below the upstairs one, so I casually mentioned our problems with that bathroom while he worked. I had been thinking that it was the pump that had quit working down there and that it might take an electrician rather than a plumber, but I thought it couldn’t hurt to ask him about it. He explained how the system works: a tall pipe running from downstairs to upstairs that has a float in it. When the float reaches a certain level, it kicks on the pump and the pump takes it from there. He theorized that it was probably just a sticky float and not a problem with the pump at all. He showed me the pipe with the float in it, it’s inside a small closet in the downstairs bathroom, and he gave it a couple of mild thumps. As soon as he did that, the pump kicked on and our downstairs bathroom was working again, just like that. Easy-peasy-rice-and-cheesy. And that’s what kept us from using the downstairs bathroom for over a year.

Richard checked upstairs to make sure the cold water was flowing again where it was supposed to and everything was fine. Then it was time to address the jiggly-handle problem, which I had also casually mentioned to him earlier. He took one look at the ancient innards of our toilet and said, “I’m going to replace that.” He took out the old ball-and-cock setup that was in there and replaced it with one of those new things they use which I don’t know the name for. That was good, but the jiggly-handle problem was being caused by the flapper in there that covers the drain hole in the tank. Richard said he normally has plenty of those, but he had just used his last three a couple of days before and didn’t have any on hand, adding that he would pick some up and return the following day to complete the job.

Well, the next day, Friday, was when the bad weather began to settle in and Richard didn’t actually make it back out until the following Monday. He came in, replaced the flapper, and we were in business. Our cold water was flowing, we didn’t have to jiggle the handle anymore, and we had our downstairs bathroom back!

Richard was a nice guy. I enjoyed watching him work and talking with him about everything under the sun: our families, the government, his army days, etc, etc. I admire men like Richard a lot, men who know how to use their hands to fix things. I’ve never been very handy myself, always having to call on someone else for every little thing that breaks down, even something so simple as a toilet flapper or a sticky float. Well, I guess that’s why God gave each of us unique abilities and talents, so we can help each other along.

That’s been on my mind a lot lately as the time for me to go back to work draws ever nearer: wondering what I want to do in my new life, or what I can do. I’d love to learn a trade like Richard’s, working with my hands and fixing things instead of sitting in an office all day pushing buttons at the computer like I used to. But new trades require training, and training requires money and yadda yadda yadda. All I know for sure is that as long as I keep my faith in God, He will lead me to the right job at the right time.

And my adventure in plumbing took a lot longer to tell than I thought it would! Before I get too much further from the topic at hand, I think I will end it here for now. There are a few other things I want to write down, so hopefully I can get back in here a bit more frequently in the future. Thanks for reading, and see you next time!

John 3:22 John answered, "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven.” ESV

1 Corinthians 12:4-6 Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. ESV

Journal - Job Market

I’m still thinking about that lady from the Lion’s Club. One of my fears is that I’ll get my sight back and my social security will be cut off and then I won’t be able to find a job. Part of me was sort of hoping the job market would pick up a little before that happened.

Today, I called the SSA in Grand Island to ask how quickly my benefits would stop if I was no longer disabled. The guy I spoke to said my benefits would continue for nine months. Actually, what he said was that if I go back to work, any month in which I earn more than $720 counts as one month and if I earn less than that, the month doesn’t count. After the ninth month that I earn more than $720 then my benefits will stop. That kind of makes it sound like I can keep getting disability benefits forever as long as I don’t go to work. It sounds a little screwy and I don’t know whether to believe him or not. I’ve gotten so much mis-information and truth slanting over the last two years that it’s getting pretty hard for me to believe what people say. If he had told me that my benefits would stop exactly one minute after my surgery was complete, I would have believed that.

I am reminded once again that I need to keep my faith with God, and not on human beings. Only God can carry me through this, and no one else. I feel very fortunate that there are a few people here on Earth that I can count on to help God’s plan along, but ultimately He is the focal point.

Probably what I will do is make a couple more calls to SSA and try to confirm what I was told today. When it’s all said and done, this won’t be a deciding factor, but it would be nice to avoid a nasty surprise later on.

On an unrelated matter, my mouth is feeling pretty good today. I had quite a bit of soreness when I woke up this morning, but I took some Ibuprofen like the dentist said and I’ve felt fine ever since. Still taking it easy though, I’ve only eaten raviolis and mashed potatoes today. And Pepsi of course. I can’t wait to brush my teeth again, yuck!

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Journal - May Wrap-up

Well, May is over already. I had a few things that I wanted to write about during the month but I kept putting it off. Now I’m not sure if I can remember what they were.

I’m pretty sure I already mentioned Brenna’s violin recital back in April. In May she had a singing concert at the school. I’m trying to remember what day that was, but I can’t. I think it was on a Monday. Brenna didn’t sing a solo so I couldn't really pick out her voice from the others, but I'm willing to bet she sounded great. This summer she is playing softball. Two games so far and her team won both. I haven’t been able to go to one of her games yet, but I’ll make it to some before she’s done. She said that she plays catcher sometimes. I wish I could see that. In a couple of weeks she will be in a play over in Amherst. She’s supposed to sing a solo and play a solo on her violin so I’m really looking forward to that.

On Sunday we all got together at Bobbi and Mike’s house. Uncle Marvin from Dallas, Uncle Butch from Crete, and Aunt LeeDel from Sioux Falls are all here for Memorial weekend. Brenna got to come for the day too. I was glad she could come because I don’t think she's seen any of the aunts and uncles for a long time. We’re all getting together again on Tuesday. Brenna can't come this time, but Brad and his family will be there. Oh, Kylie won’t be there because her school band is taking a trip to Chicago and they leave that morning. Maybe the rest of us will get some cucumbers for a change!

A couple of weeks ago, Joni and I bought a ceiling fan to put in our bedroom. We had one in our apartment in Carrollton and I’ve sure been missing that. We were going to have Mike put it up for us since he’s very handy with just about everything, but he works in the agriculture industry and is super-busy this time of year. So we decided to try hanging the fan ourselves. It actually wasn’t very hard to do. We got it up without too much trouble, and it actually works! We put it up just in time because we’ve had some very warm nights recently.

And that’s about all I can think of right now.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Dream Diary - Teeth

I had a really awful dream Tuesday night, a recurring dream that I have periodically. In this dream, my teeth were falling out. Just one or two to start with, but then more and more. Some of the teeth were breaking up into pieces as they came out, but several were falling out whole as well. Some of them really bled a lot too, but others didn’t. My teeth just kept falling out and I was spitting them into a trash can. It seemed like there were about a hundred of them, way too many anyway. The more came out, the more I started to panic. I remember wondering how I would ever be able to eat again with no teeth. It was pretty terrible and I suppose this is about as close as I ever get to a nightmare. There were several other people in this dream, but I don’t remember who they were or what they were doing. They didn’t seem to mind the fact that my teeth were falling out, they just went about their business.

Like I said, this is a recurring dream that I have had many times. This is the second time I’ve had it since we moved to Nebraska last April. It’s not always exactly the same, but it’s always about the teeth. It's no mystery to me where this dream comes from. I’ve had bad teeth for a long time. Even when I was working and had insurance I could never afford to go to the dentist. I always wake up from this dream in a real fright, heart racing and all. I always have to check my teeth when I wake to see if they’re loose.

It was just a bad night all around. I was up late working on my blog and didn't go to bed until after one o'clock. Even then it took me a while to start drifting off. Wen I finally started falling asleep, a thunderstorm rolled through, so I was up even longer. I finally got to sleep and had that bad dream which I woke from in kind of a panic. Later on, another thunderstorm came through, this one even louder, and woke me up again. No more bad dreams though, thank goodness.

It occurred to me that I really don’t have many bad dreams. Usually just this one about my teeth. I guess that means my life isn’t too bad, doesn’t it? If my teeth falling out is the worst my mind can come up with, I guess I’ve had a pretty good life.

Now that I mention it, that reminds me of a dream I used to have when I was a kid. Younger than ten, at least, because it took place in the house I grew up in out on the farm. I used to have this dream where I was out in the corn field at night, and there was a wolf chasing me. I never actually saw the wolf, but I knew it was a wolf anyway.

I would run and run through the corn field until I finally came out of it, close to where our house was. In those days, our house was closely bordered on two sides by corn fields.

When I finally got up to the house, I threw open the front door and ran inside, only to find that it wasn’t our house, but the school I went to. The school was dark and empty and I would run down the hall trying the doors, finding them all locked.

Well, I was just a kid then. Wolves are scary when you’re a kid and sometimes corn fields are too, I guess. Still, the lack of scary dreams would seem to indicate that I’ve had a pretty non-scary life.

Psalms 23:4-5 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints.

Dream Diary - Lost at the Pool

I had a really terrible night’s sleep last night. We went to bed at our regular time and I put on my headphones to listen to my audio book as usual. After a little while, however, my back started hurting. That happens to me once in a while. My back never seems to bother me during the day, just when I'm laying in bed. I got up to take some aspirin, but after I took them I remembered that the generic aspirin we get has caffeine in it. My back stopped hurting but I was wide awake after that.

I lay there for what seemed like a couple of hours listening to my book when I started to feel hungry. So I got up again and ate some Town House crackers, my favorite late night snack.

With my hunger taken care of I went back to bed. By then my back was starting to hurt again, but I didn’t want to take any more aspirin so I just lay there trying to decide if I should just get up. Pretty soon, Joni started to stir and she got up. I thought she was just going to the bathroom or something, but when I checked the time it was a little after six o’clock. That surprised me because I thought it was only about two or maybe three at the latest. Evidently I did sleep for a couple of hours without even realizing it. Also I took my headphones off at some point although I don’t remember that either. After Joni got up I put them back on. I started backing up my book to see where I had left off and sure enough I had missed a couple of hours. I decided to put the radio on then and I dozed until about nine o’clock.

In the hours between six and nine I dreamed about the swimming pool in Gibbon. The pool was different, though. It had a different shape and the surroundings were all different too. It was all surrounded by a tall chain link fence, though, just like in real life. I was trying to leave the pool but I couldn’t find my way out of the fence. I think the only way out of the fence was through the pool house where the showers are, but the building was like a maze inside and I just couldn’t get out. I could see my car through the fence, it was the red Probe I drove years and years ago, but I just couldn't get there.

The rest of the dream is mostly faded away. I have a vague impression that I did finally reach my car, but it turned out to be the wrong car. Like, I had thought it was mine, but it turned out not to be.

I think I mentioned this before, but I seem to have a lot of dreams where I am lost. No surprise there, I do kind of feel lost a lot of the time.

Well, anyway, I didn’t feel groggy and miserable today like I thought I would so that’s good. I didn’t work out today, though. I didn't have that much energy and I was afraid it would aggravate my back. I should sleep good tonight, I’ve never had back pain two nights in a row before.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Memories - Family Vacations

Ah, family vacations. We all love them, don’t we? Whenever we can afford to take them, that is. I remember the last one I went on. That was in 2003 I think, or maybe 2004. Joni, Adam, and I went down to Houston for a Labor Day weekend. We visited Johnson Space Center and Moody Gardens and stayed in a hotel and had a pretty good time.

That was a lot different than the family vacations we took when I was a kid. I’m talking way back in the 70’s, when Mom and Dad were still married. Dad was a farmer, as I have mentioned before, and we couldn’t go anywhere as long as he had to water the crops. So we waited for rain. It had to be a pretty good rain, too, so that he didn’t have to irrigate for a few days. When the rain finally came, we would put the topper on the pickup, hook up the boat, and head for Lake McConaughy, which is out east near Ogallala, Nebraska..

Mom and Dad would ride up front, and us four kids all rode in the back of the pickup with lots of blankets and pillows to flop around on. The tent, sleeping bags and coolers would all be packed in the boat for the trip. Those were such simple times. We didn’t worry about seat belts and air bags and crash test ratings, we just hopped in the back of the pickup, and off we went. If anyone tried that today, they’d probably be thrown in jail and their kids sent to foster homes. I don’t remember at all how long the trip to the lake was. I know it had to be at least a couple of hours, but we didn't mind. Getting there really was half the fun in those days.

Most of my memories of our camping trips are only fragments. There wasn't any one trip in particular that stands out in my mind. Our tent was blue and yellow and was big enough for all six of us. I remember the pitch blackness of those nights in the tent. I was afraid of the dark as a child, but with my family all around me, there was nothing to be afraid of. One memory fragment I have is of waking up in the middle of the night and feeling cold. I got up and carefully felt my way around for a minute looking for the pile of blankets. When I found a blanket and tried to take it, someone pulled back, so I think I gave up.

Those bright summer days of roaming the sandy shore of the lake seemed endless. The particular area where we always camped had kind of a little cliff with a long slope of sand stretching out in front of it. We used to climb to the top of the slope and then run down, or roll down all the way to the bottom. I kind of remember Brad stepping on a cactus there one time. I think Mom has some pictures of us rolling down that slope.

Speaking of pictures, I remember one picture that Mom has. It is of me holding a tiny little tadpole in my cupped hands. I only vaguely remember catching tadpoles where the water was very shallow. Actually, I think someone else caught the tadpole, maybe Brad, and gave it to me so Mom could take the picture. I was very young, couldn’t have been more than five. I think my hair was still mostly blond in that picture.

Of course, we would go out on the boat, too, but that wasn’t my favorite part of going to the lake. Dad liked to go fishing, but I never cared much for it. Also, Mom and the older kids would water ski, but I was too little. We had to wear those bulky orange life-jackets, too, and I hated wearing them. I remember one time when the boat broke down, and Dad had to call out on the CB radio to get someone to tow us back to the marina.

Just fragments. I remember Spam and squeezy cheese in a tube that we put on crackers or celery. I remember different flavors of Shasta sodas, we call it pop here in the Midwest. Those were special treats that we only indulged in at the lake, making our time there even more special. I can’t really remember what else we ate. I remember the little portable am/fm radio. Barry Manilow’s “Copa Cabana” was a big hit one summer, I remember hearing it on the radio at the lake. And sand, sand, sand. No matter how you tried, it just got into everything.

Our little family vacations sure were fun, and they always ended too soon. The saddest part was taking the boat out of the water because then you really knew it was over. “Just one more dip in the water? Please, Mom, please?” The answer was always "No.” Back into the pickup we went, and back home to the boring old farm.

Those were the good old days, all right. It’s tempting, sometimes, to wish for those days again, but that’s just not the way of things. God gave each one of us a unique past, and a unique set of life experiences. All of our lives He works to make each one of us a unique and valuable part of His plan.

We all have good memories, and bad memories. We should never wish the bad ones had never happened, because they made us who we are, just as much as the good ones did. Wishing for a different past is like telling God He made a mistake. He shaped each of us to perform a particular task, something that no other person on Earth can do. It’s our job to find out what that task is, and do it to the best of our abilities. And the greatest thing about God is that it’s never too late. As long as you are drawing breath, there’s still time. Make the most of it!

1 Corinthians 12:12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.