Men's Fraternity Week 12

Men’s Fraternity
Week #12 Heart

Pastor Brian began our session today with a funny video about a classic old Christmas song:



Reminder of the Four Pillars of Manhood:

• Reject passivity.
• Accept responsibility.
• Lead courageously.
• Wait for the greater reward. God’s reward.

Remember that men who live out the four pillars of manhood are difference-makers!

1. Understanding the Heart Wound:

• God created mankind without sin and Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world.
• Once Adam and Eve sinned, everything changed.

Genesis 3:6-13
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. ⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ And he said, “I heard the sound of you in te garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” ¹¹ He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ¹² The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” ¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done? The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

[Adam did not reject passivity and he did not accept responsibility. His first reaction was to hide from God, but God sought him out to reconcile.]

• The punishment for sin is both spiritual and physical death.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

• Understanding this alienation from God can help us understand why so often our reality doesn’t measure up to our hopes and dreams.
• There is a longing in each one of us to be reconciled to God for all of eternity.
• The longing is present even if we deny it.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

• The effects of sin are seen in all of creation.

Romans 8:22-23
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we walk eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

• One day Jesus will make all things new.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

• Until that time we have to live between what is and what will be. [but we are not called to simply wait]

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

2. The Journey from Here to Eternity

• We will all struggle with sin.

Romans 7:18-19
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

• The eseence of the heart wound is our total inability to do anything good before God apart from a right relationship with Jesus Christ.

Romans 3:10-12
”None is righteous, no, not one; ¹¹ no one understands; no one seeks for God. ¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

• One reason it is difficult for us to understand this truth is that we are not as evil as we could be. [without our own set of man-made laws, mankind would live to its fullest evil capacity.

Wayne Grudem writes: “The constraints of civil laws, the expectations of family and society, and the conviction of human conscience all provide restraining influences on the sinful tendencies in our hearts…But in spide of the ability to do good in many senses of the word, our inherited corruption, our tendency to sin…means that as far as God is concerned we are not able to do anything that pleases Him.”

• God has already provided the only solution for our sinful heart condition.

Romans 5:6
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 14:6
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

• Faith in Jesus doesn’t mean we all of a sudden become sinless. We are forgiven but not perfect.

Sanctification defined: Sanctification is a progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and like Christ in our actual lives.

3. Practical Help as we Grow to be More Like Jesus Christ

• We need to recognize and feel our feelings.
• We must tell the truth about our hearts to those who are trustworthy.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man

• Give the truth of your heart to God.

John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Group Questions:
1. How has the brokenness of the world touched your life? What does God’s promise to redeem the world mean to you?

2. Why do you think it’s difficult for men to be transparent with one another? Discuss how transparency is difficult for you personally.

3. The end of this session suggested three ways for you to connect to your heart. How good are you in living out these three areas?

• Recognize and feel your feelings,
• Tell the truth about your heart to those who are trustworthy
• Giving the truth of your heart to God

Journal - Good News and Bad News

So last week was our nation’s birthday. Happy Birthday America! We didn’t go anywhere to watch fireworks but we ended up seeing quite a few anyway. Four nights in a row we could see fireworks in Kearney from our back steps. There were usually 3 or 4 different displays going on each night. They were far away of course, but it was neat seeing all those fireworks at one time. On the night of the 4th there were at least 6 different displays going and that was rather spectacular. One of those nights there was a display at a lake community just a few miles up the road from us, just this side of Fort Kearney. It was a good display and close enough so that we could see it pretty well.

It was a good way to pass the week while I waited for my new glasses to come in at the Walmart Vision Center. They finally called me on Friday to let me know that they were in, and we went in on Saturday morning to pick them up. The glasses fit fine and right away I noticed that I could see a lot more detail so I was happy with them and was anxious to get home and really try them out.

The glasses really help at the computer although it didn’t take long to discover that I would still need my magnifying glass in some cases. Sometimes the print is still too small and I also have trouble with odd fonts or with italicized print. I can read print on a piece of paper now as long as it isn’t too small and as long as the lighting is good. I was disappointed about my comic books though. Last week I had pulled out a box of comics and started reading them with the help of my magnifying glass. I was hoping my glasses would be good enough for those but it didn’t turn out that way; I still need the magnifying glass. That’s partly due to the type of font and also partly due to the lack of contrast. Instead of black on white, comics are often black on other pale colors like orange or purple or something. It’s just not quite enough contrast for me.

At any rate, I was mostly excited about getting my driver license. Now that I had my glasses we planned to go into Kearney on Monday to get my license. I had called the DMV in Minden (since we live in Kearney County) previously and found out that I would probably have to take both the written and driving tests. This was because I haven’t had a license for so long; about 3 years. I also found out that I could go to any county office to take the test. That was good because the driving examiner is only in Minden once a week, Kearney County being rather unpopulated. Their day in Minden is Wednesday and I didn’t want to wait that long.

So first thing this morning, Monday, we headed into Kearney. I’ll admit I was kind of nervous. I had been taking practice tests online and while many of the questions are pretty much common sense, just as it was when I was a kid, they also now have a lot of questions about specific fines for things like parking in a handicapped zone or riding with an unsecured child. Those were the questions I was worried about.

Well, we got to the DMV in Kearney at about 9am. I filled out the application form and gave it to the man, and then he had me do the vision test. That’s when I got the bad news. He said that with my vision being what it is, there would most likely be some heavy restrictions on my driving: daylight only, geographic restrictions, and possible maximum speed restriction. My heart kind of sank when I heard that. He also said that I would have to go to Minden for the driving part of the test. I’m not entirely clear on why, but I think it had something to do with the geographic restriction. But he went ahead and gave me the written test and I passed that with no problem. Of the 25 questions on the test, I had already seen most of them on my practice tests so it was good that I did that. The guy had already taken my picture so after the written test I was all done. He gave me a paper to take in to Minden when I go. We had kind of decided to go ahead and go straight over there and get it done, but them I remembered the driving examiner is only there on Wednesday. So that’s what we’ll be doing on Wednesday morning.

I’m pretty disappointed. A speed restriction on my license is no big deal, but daylight only will be hard. And that geographic restriction, he said it will be up to the people in Minden, but I could be restricted to driving within 5 or 10 miles of home. We don’t even live within 10 miles of a town and I think it’s safe to say there are no job openings within 10 miles of my home. Well, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Nothing is decided yet and like the man said, it will be up to the people in Minden. Please God, let them be merciful.

Romans 8:28 we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ESV

Psalms 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. ESV

Journal - Working Out

So with our latest trip to Omaha over and our tire problems taken care of, we began a new week with a few days to rest up and relax before doing it all over again.

I decided to begin the week by working out. No, not exercising exactly, I haven’t been doing very much of that since my surgery. I’m talking about working outside! Monday turned out to be an absolutely gorgeous day, temps in the upper sixties and a light breeze instead of the gale force winds that we have so often. This spring I have been out in the yard a time or two just doing little things like picking up limbs or raking or edging the sidewalk. It’s been a long time since I could do anything like that. I was blind during our first two-and-a-half years in Nebraska, and before that we lived in city apartments with no yard to work in anyway.

My first project for Monday was the wishing well. In our back yard, out toward the road, someone had put a wooden wishing well. It was just an ornamental one, although I couldn’t tell if someone had bought it or actually built it. It was about 5 feet tall and perhaps 3 feet across the middle. Sometime during the last winter it had blown over in a windstorm and when Adam tried to set it back up we discovered it was completely rotted and just wouldn’t stand anymore. So Joni pulled the truck out there and I picked up all the pieces into a 50-gallon bucket and set it in the back. Then Joni drove it around to the incinerator and I tossed it on top of some trash that I had already set to burning. It was so dry and rotten I knew it would burn up good and it sure did.

Onto that I started throwing some limbs and branches that had blown down. We have four different piles of limbs sitting around of all the blow down from the last three years and I’ve been working at getting them burned up. Each time I burn trash or leaves or something I throw on some branches from one of the piles. On Monday I finished up the first pile and got a pretty good start on the second. Most of the branches are small enough to just throw in but a few had to be cut up, which I did with my handsaw, the only saw I have.

After I had decided I had done enough burning for the day there was nothing left to do but wait for the fire to go down. The wind was light but I didn’t want to go in the house and forget about it. While I was keeping on eye on it I decided to get out the lawn mower and do a little mowing. The week before, I had gotten the mower out and done the little bit in front of the house, but hadn’t gotten to the much larger back yard yet. So I started in and got about half of that done before I was just plum tired out. Gone are the days when I could just mow and mow for two or three hours. It’s kind of fun to mow again although I have a little trouble with it. As I mow, I can’t really see the lines very well and it’s hard to tell where I’ve already been exactly. I end up missing patches or mowing over patches that I’ve already done. I don’t really mind very much, it’s just so good to be doing something again.

So with half the back yard done, I put the mower away. The fire was mostly out by then so I raked at it a bit and then took the hose and sprayed all around the incinerator just to make sure nothing caught and my workout was finished. I was out for about three hours all together and had a good amount of color on my skin, mostly red. That’s something else I haven’t done for a long time and I loved it! It wasn’t a bad burn, a little itchy and hot but not really painful at all. Four days later it’s mostly turned brown and hasn’t begun to peel yet so maybe I’ll get to keep it.

So that was my workout. It was such a beautiful day in so many ways that I felt truly blessed. This farm has been a really wonderful thing for us. I can’t imagine a better place to have spent my period of blindness, or my current period of recovery. The peace and quiet, the closeness to God and nature, and the feel of the sun on my back as I work in the yard. Do you suppose God planned it that way right from the start? Of course He did! He knew what would be best for us even if we had our doubts, something He has proven to me time and time again. I just can’t wait to see what else He has in store for us! Oops, patience…patience…

Romans 8:28 we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ESV

Luke 12:22-23 And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ESV

Powerful Prayer

I thought that I would post a follow-up to my blog of November 13, Penn State Woes. That was such a powerful and shining moment for the Body of Christ that I thought it deserved a little more focus.
In the days following that football game between Penn State and Nebraska I’ve been looking around the internet for some videos of the event. I listened to the game on the radio and the broadcast team described what was happening on the field, but I didn’t get to see it or hear what was being said. Not surprisingly, there are lots of videos available online now from many different sources showing that amazing huddled mass of football players kneeling for prayer in the center of the field, and of Ron Brown’s words as he spoke over them.
What I really wanted was a transcript of the prayer that was said. I found a couple of them, but they were each missing portions here and there. Toward the end of the prayer, the crowd in the stands began to chant and cheer, not being able to hear what was being said on the field, and portions were hard to make out over the noise. I did, however, find one video feed that was particularly clear and of high quality and I think I got the whole thing down pretty well.
Here’s the text of the prayer for those of you who haven’t, or aren’t, able to view the videos online:

“Father God, we thank you so much. We thank you that you’ve chosen us to be here; this day--this time. We know that you’ve called us specifically, each and every one of these young men have been called to this platform today. Lord, we know, we know that we don’t have control of all of the events that took place this week, but we do know that you are bigger than it all. And we give you the glory that you are going to protect this stadium today, and this town, and these universities, Father, and these students, that you would give great sense to all of them, Lord. Remove the foolishness and that your common sense will reign and shine. Father God, there are a lot of little boys around the country today who are watching this game and they’re trying to figure out what the definition of manhood is all about. Father, this is it right here. I pray that this game will be a training ground of what manhood looks like; that we would compete with fierce intensity; with the honor and the gifts and the talents that you have given us. And may we be reminded, Lord, as it says in your word in John 1:14 that Jesus is full of grace and truth. May the truth be known. May justice be known. Would you protect the victims that were persecuted…And Father, would you shed grace and forgiveness on the lives of all those involved. All of us here need your forgiveness. We thank you for the cross of Jesus Christ. Now give us a great game, a game that honors you. And it’s in Jesus’ name we pray this. Amen.”

Wow! Those are some pretty powerful words! As I read that again and again, it strikes me how very appropriate those words were for that place and that time, but also for all of us in whatever place and time we are in. God HAS called each one of us specifically to be right here, right now. He put each one of us here for a reason, just as he put Ron Brown on that football field on November 12, 2011. It is our job to find out why. Maybe it’s to help support someone who is in financial need, maybe it’s to volunteer for projects in your community, or maybe it’s to pray for someone, or just sit and cry with them. In order for the Body of Christ to function, all of those tasks, large and small, have to be done. Take a look around you; there are people in need everywhere. What can you do to help?
Ron Brown was the wide receiver’s coach at the University of Nebraska from 1987 to 2003, and then returned to the team in 2008 as the tight end’s coach. He became the running back’s coach for the 2011 season, his 17th season overall with Nebraska. Brown’s bio page from the University of Nebraska website includes the following:

Off the field, Brown and former Husker Stan Parker are co-founders and co-directors of a statewide Christian ministry called Mission Nebraska. This ministry stewards MY BRIDGE RADIO, which consists of numerous Christian radio stations and translators across Nebraska. Mission Nebraska also facilitates a statewide Christian endeavor called FreedMen, which challenges and inspires men and boys to take a strong courageous Christian stand in the public square.
The 54-year-old Brown spent the four years prior to his return to coaching serving as the Nebraska State Director of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. While he relinquished that duty to return to the Cornhuskers, he continues as a regular columnist for FCA's National Magazine "Sharing the Victory." Through Mission Nebraska, Brown also hosts a weekly statewide cable TV show called "Truth Vision", along with daily radio spots.

Do we need more people like Ron Brown getting involved with our youth? You don’t have to answer; it’s a rhetorical question. For those interested, MyBridge Radio can be found at 95.7 FM in the Grand Island area. There’s a station in Kearney but their signal seems to be very weak. Visit this page for a complete listing of MyBridge Radio stations across Nebraska.

The prayer above was transcribed from NBC footage that I found at the website of News Radio 1110 KFAB.

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. ESV

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ESV

Links From This Post:
My blog about Penn State Woes
Listing of MyBridge Radio stations across Nebraska at Wikipedia
News Radio 1110 KFAB
Ron Brown’s full bio at Huskers.com

Miracles

If you know me personally, or if you’ve been following my blog lately, then you already know that I was recently the recipient of a miracle. I have a long history of problems with my eyes going all the way back to 1995 when I was diagnosed with keratoconus, a condition of the corneas. I was twenty-four years old at the time and spent the next 14 years dealing with that and other eye problems. Finally, in June of 2009, I was completely blind. I was blind for two and a half years until finally receiving surgery about four weeks ago that restored the vision in my right eye.
Yes, it was a doctor who performed the surgery that gave me my sight back, but I still consider it a miracle because the hand of God was very evident throughout.
During the two-and-a-half years that I was blind, God did a lot of work on me, and there was a lot of work to do. He taught me a lot about patience. Being blind takes a lot of patience; you have to learn new ways to do things like walking and eating and using the computer. More importantly, I learned how to be patient with God; how to wait for Him to do things in His own time, just like it says in Isaiah 30:18:

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him.”

God also taught me a lot about humility. When you’re blind, you have to ask for help. A lot. That’s something I was never very good at; I always like to do things myself, but it is part of God’s will for us to help each other, and to ask each other for help. It strengthens the body of Christ when we are all working together in that way, just like it says in Romans 12:16:

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

And, of course, I learned how important it is to ask God Himself for help.
I could go on and on about all the different things God taught me through my blindness, and maybe one of these days I will, but that’s not really what I came here to talk about today. Today’s topic is miracles.
While I was blind, Joni and I had family and friends literally all across the country praying for us, and who had their churches praying for us. That’s really what it’s all about; the body of Christ coming together for a common purpose, and when that happens—well, that’s when miracles occur. God didn’t restore my sight just to make me happy. No, He did it so that all of those people could witness it; so that everyone could understand what a miracle this was and so that He could be glorified through it. In chapter 9 of the book of John, there’s a story of Jesus healing a blind man. The disciples asked Jesus why the man was blind, was it because of his sin or because of his parents’ sin. In verse 3 of that passage, Jesus tells them:

Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

If God doesn’t receive the glory for my healing, then it was all for nothing. It is now my duty, I believe, to make sure that as many people as possible witness the miracle that has occurred in my life. If you are reading this right now, then God has chosen you to be one of those witnesses. The big question is what are you going to do with that? Are you going to forget about it as soon as you click away from this page? Or are you going to go out into the world and tell somebody what a great and merciful God we serve? I hope it will be the latter. And remember, if you are waiting for a miracle of your own, you need to get as many people as possible involved. Get them praying for you. Ask them for help. Through God’s grace and glory, truly miraculous things can happen.

Journal - Magnifying Glass

Tuesday was a quiet and peaceful day. We got to stay home all day and just relax, which we both needed very much.
I finally started on a project that I’ve been waiting a very long time for: cleaning out and organizing the filing cabinet. After two years it was getting pretty crammed full. Joni did a good job with all that stuff while I was blind, but I know it was hard for her because I’m so particular about things. It’s been a little bit of a challenge because my vision is still pretty blurry, but with my magnifying glass I can make out what I need to see and get things in order.
God has granted me something of a unique perspective on things. During the last couple of years before I went blind, my vision was failing and I began to rely more and more on my magnifying glass to use the computer and read mail and that sort of thing. How I cursed that glass as I became more dependent on it. Now I am so happy to be using it again that I can hardly stand it. I’m still using my screen reader at the computer, but can also use my glass to see the things that the reader doesn’t pick up.
So anyway, I spent a few hours in the filing cabinet and it felt pretty good to be doing something useful around the house again. On Tuesday evening, I didn’t have anything particular to do at the computer, so I opened up the old Solitaire program and played a few games using the magnifying glass. That was fun.

Romans 8:32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ESV

Journal - The Night Before

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Okay, it’s not THE big day, but it’s the day we travel to Omaha for my surgery. Believe it or not, the days have gone by pretty fast since the doctor’s office called me on Wednesday.
I haven’t been feeling too nervous or anxious about the surgery like you might think. Until today that is. Shortly after noon today, I started packing my bag, and that’s when it started to sink in that something was happening. The rest of the afternoon I was sort of frazzled and I wandered around the house a lot wondering what I was forgetting to pack. Mom came out at about 5pm to see us before we go. Then we had supper and I took my shower. By then it was a quarter after six.
This evening, Nebraska had a football game against Ohio State that started at 7pm. I was glad of that because I knew it would give me something else to think about until bedtime. That almost turned out badly though. Before I knew it, Nebraska was down 27 to 6 and I was pacing the house again. Luckily, I checked in on the game again a little bit later because Nebraska was rallying. About halfway through the third quarter, the game completely turned around. Nebraska ended upscoring 28 unanswered points, and won the game 34 to 27. That was pretty amazing. According to the announcers, it was the biggest comeback in school history. Needless to say, that took my mindoff my worries and really lifted my spirits. Do you suppose God turned that football game around justfor me? Probably not, but it sure did the trick.
So anyway, the bags are all packed and we’re all ready to go, and I’ll be going to bed soon to see if I can sleep. We haven’t decided yet if we’re going to church tomorrow. There will be time, we’re usually home by 11am as our church has two services each Sunday, and we go to the early one, but we’re not sure how we’ll feel in the morning. We may get up and decide to hit the road. I hope I can get some sleep tonight. My mind is still reeling a bit, trying to think if I’ve remembered everything. Well, even if I forget something I suppose events will unfold as they are meant to. After all, if God be for us, who can be against us?
So long for now. I might post some updates from Omaha since we’ll have Joni’s laptop with us, but who knows, I may have better things to do.

Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. ESV

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ESV

Journal - The Night Before

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Okay, it’s not THE big day, but it’s the day we travel to Omaha for my surgery. Believe it or not, the days have gone by pretty fast since the doctor’s office called me on Wednesday.
I haven’t been feeling too nervous or anxious about the surgery like you might think. Until today that is. Shortly after noon today, I started packing my bag, and that’s when it started to sink in that something was happening. The rest of the afternoon I was sort of frazzled and I wandered around the house a lot wondering what I was forgetting to pack. Mom came out at about 5pm to see us before we go. Then we had supper and I took my shower. By then it was a quarter after six.
This evening, Nebraska had a football game against Ohio State that started at 7pm. I was glad of that because I knew it would give me something else to think about until bedtime. That almost turned out badly though. Before I knew it, Nebraska was down 27 to 6 and I was pacing the house again. Luckily, I checked in on the game again a little bit later because Nebraska was rallying. About halfway through the third quarter, the game completely turned around. Nebraska ended upscoring 28 unanswered points, and won the game 34 to 27. That was pretty amazing. According to the announcers, it was the biggest comeback in school history. Needless to say, that took my mindoff my worries and really lifted my spirits. Do you suppose God turned that football game around justfor me? Probably not, but it sure did the trick.
So anyway, the bags are all packed and we’re all ready to go, and I’ll be going to bed soon to see if I can sleep. We haven’t decided yet if we’re going to church tomorrow. There will be time, we’re usually home by 11am as our church has two services each Sunday, and we go to the early one, but we’re not sure how we’ll feel in the morning. We may get up and decide to hit the road. I hope I can get some sleep tonight. My mind is still reeling a bit, trying to think if I’ve remembered everything. Well, even if I forget something I suppose events will unfold as they are meant to. After all, if God be for us, who can be against us?
So long for now. I might post some updates from Omaha since we’ll have Joni’s laptop with us, but who knows, I may have better things to do.

Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. ESV

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ESV

Journal - Good News

As promised, Eleanor called this morning to let me know how the testing went on the cornea. The call came at about 9:30 this morning, and the news was all good. On Sunday, we’ll be on our way to Omaha.
Mom had told me yesterday that she wanted me to call her at work as soon as I knew something, rather than wait for her lunch break, so I did. I think she was happy for me, although it’s always so hard to tell with Mom the way she hides her feelings and all.
After that, I called the hotel in Omaha to make a reservation. Eleanor had already provided us with a map of the area surrounding the hospital, with some different hotels and restaurants marked on it. Joni and I had already discussed which hotel to stay in, so all I had to do was call them up and book a room. Joni’s mother had given us her credit card number several weeks ago and told us to use it for our hotel. I wasn’t sure how that would work. I knew I could book a room with it, but I was afraid they would want us to present the card when we checked in or something. I asked them about it though, and they said it was no problem. So that was a pretty big load off my mind, knowing that the hotel would be paid for.
Not too long after that, a nurse called from the hospital where my surgery will be, the Methodist Hospital in Omaha. Eleanor told me someone would call today or tomorrow to go over some things. I’m sorry to say that I can’t remember the lady’s name, but she was really super nice. We went over my medical history, medications I’m taking, and all kinds of stuff. She told me not to eat or drink anything after 11pm the night before, and to be at the hospital at 5:30am on Monday. The hospital has free valet parking which was a pleasant surprise. Also, she asked me to bring in all the prescription medications I’m currently using so they could check the strengths and dosages. She didn’t know that I was completely blind, and when I told her she said she would say an extra prayer for me. It seems like God is using every available resource to remind me that He is in control.
After that, I went downstairs for my workout on the exercise bike, which I am still keeping up with, but will probably have to abandon for a few weeks after surgery.
Then this afternoon I called the hotel again to confirm our reservation. When I called this morning, they transferred me to some service they use that handles their reservations. Even though I dialed the hotel direct, I ended up talking to a guy who was asking me what city I wanted to stay in. Also, he called it a Quality Inn, rather than a Comfort Inn which did not fill me with confidence. So anyway, I called the hotel direct again and asked to confirm the reservation, and they said everything looked fine. I asked about the credit card again also, and she said it was no problem.
So it was a busy day, but a good one. I exchanged emails with various members of my family, and even managed to get a couple of book reviews written. A pretty productive day. I had a little trouble sleeping last night, but I’m thinking that I’ll be okay tonight. We crossed a major hurdle today, and while I’m still nervous about the outcome, at least things are moving forward. Sunday will be here before we know it.

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ESV

Psalms 13:2-3 "How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,” ESV

Journal - Just Some Updates

Well, I’m up late again, three nights in a row now. My eczema was flaring up pretty bad for the last two or three weeks, so on Wednesday I went to the doctor for some help, and he prescribed some Prednisone for me. Prednisone, if you don’t know, is a steroid, and is practically a miracle drug. It’s what they have always given me just about all my life whenever my asthma or skin gets out of control. I say it’s a miracle drug because it clears up everything: skin, lungs, sinuses, everything. Unfortunately it has one very serious drawback: it also reduces your body’s ability to fight infections, so you can only take it for short periods of time.
I got a little off topic there. I brought up the Prednisone because that’s why I’ve been having trouble sleeping. It’s kind of funny because, like I said, they’ve been giving me Prednisone off and on for most of my life and I never had any side effects, up until about seven years ago. In 2004, I ended up in the hospital with my asthma. They were giving me Prednisone as usual, but for the whole week I was in the hospital, and another week at home after that, I could only cat-nap during the night and day. Also, I was hungry just about all the time. As a result, I would sit up late at night cleaning all the leftovers out of the refridgerator. I can’t remember how I finally found out what was causing it, but finally determined it was thePrednisone. I think I looked it up on the internet or something. So anyway, I’ve been on Prednisone a few times since then and I always get those two side effects. This time I don’t seem to be getting the increased appetite, but I’m definitely not sleeping right. I don’t mind it too much really, even though I don’t sleep at night, I still don’t feel tired during the day. Also, I have more time to keep up with the things I need to do here on the computer.
Anyway, after three days, I’m happy to report that my skin is clearing up nicely, and I still have two more days to go. Then everything should be back to normal. In the meantime, I can get caught up on some updates.
The last batch of peach jam I made didn’t turn out too good. I didn’t cook it long enough this time. That was disappointing after the batch before turned out so good. I think I’ll try opening the jars and cooking it a little more and then re-canning it with new lids. Don’t know if that will work, but there’s nothing to lose since the jam isn’t much good as it is.
Last Thursday I saw Dr. Feilmeier at the Kearney Eye Clinic. It was just a follow-up. I have to see him at least every three months until I get my surgery. I was only there for a few minutes, and he told me I was at the top of the list and something would probably happen in the next couple of weeks or so. That’s fine, but it’s very similar to what they told me at the end of June so I won’t start holding my breath just yet.
Last Sunday (I think) evening, Lion Lady came out to the house for a bi. She’s still trying to get her club to help us with some of the medical expenses. She got copies of the bills already incurred, and some other information to present to her group at their meeting which was on Tuesday.
In Audiobook Heaven news, I finished the awesome Battlefield Earth book that Galaxy Press sent me. Man, that book is great and they did a fabulous job producing it. I can’t wait to share it with everyone, but they say it probably won’t be released until next fall. A whole year! I’m still planning to take a break in November and December and have started ramping down the incoming books a little. I’m still enjoying the audiobooks a great deal, but what I kind of miss is going back and listening to some of my favorites again. I don’t do that much anymore because there are so many new books to listen to, but I’ll have some time to do that at the end of the year.
And I think that’s about all the updates I have right now. In a little over a week, Aunt LeeDel, Uncle Butch, and Uncle Marvin will be coming for a visit, so we’re looking forward to that. Until then, stay happy and healthy!

Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Passing the Time

So now the waiting truly begins. It seems that it’s easier to wait for something when you know it’s still a long way off. I really don’t feel very nervous or anxious, but there’s just this feeling in the air, kind of like an approaching storm. Something you sense more than see.
This month marked exactly two years since I went completely blind, and I was just thinking about how those two years have gone by. There were times when it seemed like time would never move again, but of course it did, and now I can’t believe so much has gone by.
I’m reminded of how much God has been with me during this time. Two years is nothing to Him, but He knew it would be a long wait for me. And He was always there with me, helping me along and giving me things to do to help pass the time.
It was way back in 2007 when He introduced me to audiobooks for the first time. God used Uncle Butch to pass that idea along to my mom, and her to pass it along to me. Only God could have come up with such a perfect plan for me. I’ve always loved books and that was just the thing. Of course, I wasn’t completely blind yet at that time, but my eyes were failing and it was getting difficult to read print.
The audiobooks kept me occupied for a while, but the novelty of it did begin to wear off after about two years. In 2009, just a few months after I went completely blind, God gave me the idea to start writing audiobook reviews and publishing them on a blog. Wow, books and computers combined in one project! Does God know me or what? For that one, God brought in the lady from the division for the blind, who loaded a screen reader onto my computer and showed me how to use it. I can’t even guess how many hours I have passed away listening to audiobooks and writing reviews and working on my blog.
Believe it or not, even that began to lose its luster after a year or so. God didn’t leave me hanging though. It was about then that he introduced me to Susan Dunman. Susan asked me if I would be interested in submitting links to my reviews to her site, Audiobook Jukebox. Not long after that, she asked if I would be interested in writing some reviews for another site that she edits, The SF Site. That put a little bit of a new twist on things and kept me going for a few months.
It was through my association with Susan that God planted the idea in my head that I could contact audiobook publishers and ask them to send me free audiobooks for review. That was a great idea because I had already been through most of the audiobooks my library had that interested me. So for the last seven or eight months I’ve been getting lots of great books directly from publishers.
Anyway, God knew just how to keep my mind occupied so I didn’t have to sit around feeling sorry for myself, or wishing the time would go faster. And in the process I’ve met some nice people that I otherwise would have never known. I even met an audiobook producer and narrator from Colorado: after we had known each other for a while, we discovered that we are both native Nebraskans; he grew up in North Platte.
It’s very comforting to know that God is always there looking out for me. Of course, I already knew that from reading the bible, but the message is so much more powerful when you witness it first-hand.

Romans 8:25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. ESV

Romans 8:28 we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ESV

Journal - Moving Right Along

Well, things are continuing to move very quickly. I said earlier that I would probably give Elinore a call later this week to check on things, but I didn’t have to. She called me today to let me know that they had received the measurements from my visit on Monday, and that they now have everything they need to go on with the surgery. That Elinore is really on the ball.
As I said before, the only thing left to do is to get my physical, and Elinore let me know that it was time for that. She said that since they have all the information they need now, that my name would go to the top of the list, “so don’t drag your feet too long on this.” She kind of made it sound like this could happen any time now.
Well, I didn’t drag my feet at all. As soon as I got off the phone with Elinore, I looked up the phone number for my old doctor in Kearney, Dr. Rude. Dr. Rude became our family doctor when I was about maybe 8 or 9 years old, and I had already decided I would go to him for my physical, even though it’s been about twenty years since I last saw him.
Anyway, I called Dr. Rude’s office, but found out that he is booked solid until the end of July. The receptionist asked if one of the other doctors would be okay, and I said that would be fine. So I have an appointment with Dr. Jensen next Wednesday at 2:40pm. I haven’t had a physical for about twenty years I guess, and don’t really know what to expect on this visit. I asked how long they typically take, and she said about half an hour. Not bad, I can tolerate just about anything for half an hour. Well, anything except rap music maybe.
As soon as I had my appointment, I called Elinore back to let her know. She said she would need the phone and fax number so she could fax over some information. Elinore was on the other line, so I left the information with someone else in the office.
So that’s that. I have to admit that I’m finally feeling a little anxious. I thought we were still several weeks out from surgery, but Elinore made it sound like it could happen any time. Now all these thoughts are starting to crowd in on me, getting a hotel room, driving to Omaha, getting someone to look after Sassie while we’re gone, etcetera, etcetera. Well, I guess nothing can happen until I get my physical next week, so I can calm down until then. After that, it will just be a matter of waiting for the phone to ring.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ESV

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. ESV

Journal - Phone Call Follow-Ups

Okay, so it was last Wednesday when I got those phone calls from the Dr.’s office. There have been a couple of minor developments since then so here’s a quick update before I forget.
I had asked Elinore last week whether Dr. Feilmeier was planning to do both transplant and cataract surgeries at the same time. Elinore wasn’t sure and said she would check with the doctor. She called back the very next day and said that he is indeed planning to do both at the same time. That’s fine with me as long as there are no additional or increased risks involved. Getting both at the same time means, if everything goes well, I’ll be able to see much sooner, rather than having one surgery then having to wait a couple of months for the other. When I had my transplant back in 2004, I had excellent vision the very next day when the bandage came off, even though I had read that the vision would come in slowly as the new cornea healed. I’m not sure if cataract surgery requires a lot of recovery time or not, I’ll have to read up on that.
Then today I got a call from another lady at the doctor’s office, I think her name was Megan. Megan was calling to confirm, finally, that they did indeed get the ultrasound results from my visit to Dr. Halgren back in October. That’s good news because everything else was kind of on hold until that got resolved. Megan also told me that the next step will be to get some measurements taken of my eye. I’m not sure what this entails exactly, but the measurements are needed to determine the strength of the lens I will need. When I say lens, I’m talking about the actual lens of the eye, not the cornea or a contact or anything like that. The lens is inside the eye, and it’s where cataracts form. My lens will be removed and replaced with a new one. Unlike the cornea, the lens can be replaced with an artificial one. Megan said the measurements can be taken in Kearney and that someone should be calling me to schedule an appointment.
That’s all the news for now. Stay tuned.

Romans 2:7 to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life;

Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Journal - Eye Doctors, Audiobooks, and Sick Puppies

I can’t exactly remember what I said the last time I talked about the eye doctor and such. I had an appointment in Omaha on January 5th, but I cancelled that one several weeks ago. That whole thing was just not feeling good to me. On March 1, I will become eligible for Medicare so I’m just going to wait until then before I do anything else. Two more months doesn’t seem like very long to wait. Hard to believe it’s been two years since I was declared legally blind. That happened back in October of 2008, but I didn’t start receiving disability payments from social security until March of 2009, so that’s when my two years began. You have to be disabled for two years before you can be eligible for Medicare. With Medicare I think I’ll have more freedom to go where I want, instead of letting someone else pick the doctor. So that’s where we stand on that.

Audiobook-Heaven is still humming right along. I finally got a response from another publisher. Someone from Hachette (ha-shet’) Book Group responded to one of my inquiries and said they would be willing to send me some audiobooks for review. On Friday I requested three books, and today Megan responded and said she would send them. I’ll have lots of audiobooks to keep me occupied I think.

I don’t really know what to think about Sassie. She’s just so listless since her accident last Tuesday. For the last several days, she has taken to lying on the back porch where it’s cold. She just lays there all day and all night and never comes into the house, except maybe just to poke her head in while we’re eating. Joni did some reading online and read that when dogs are in pain they seek out confined areas, and they also seek out cold places. That explains the porch. Of course, it’s pretty hard to tell just how much pain she is in. We’re still giving her soft foods, but she just isn’t very interested in eating. We always have to coax her to get her to eat anything, and she’s not drinking much water either. I feel so helpless and just don’t know what to do for her. I’ve been praying very hard for God to heal her, but I honestly don’t know how much God is willing to intervene for an animal. He created them too, didn’t He? I guess that’s all I can do, keep praying and hope for a miracle.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. NIV

Journal - What Do Doctors Know Anyway?

Hi gang. I’ve already written to some of you, and if I have, this will largely be a recap of what you already know.

On Monday, Joni, Adam, and I traveled to Omaha for my visit to the doctor. I saw Doctor Halgren who is a cornea specialist associated with the University of Nebraska Medical Center. We left home at 10 o’clock, and arrived just in time for my 2 o’clock appointment, allowing for a lunch stop in York. I’m sorry to say that the news I got was not so great.

In my left eye, the eye I had a cornea transplant on back in 2003, the prospects do not look good at all. I was not surprised to hear him say that the transplanted cornea is breaking down. That thing has been through the wringer. Also, I already knew there was a significant cataract in that eye, so that was no surprise either. The bad news started with the retina. The doctor said there are signs that the retina has become detached. Since the retina is behind the cataract, he won’t know for sure until I get an ultrasound, but he thinks it could be bad. He said if the detachment is severe enough, he would probably not be inclined to do any work on that eye at all because it just wouldn’t be worth it. Also, the pressure in the left eye is extremely low. As you may know, our eyes are filled with fluid. There is an organ in there that is constantly producing new fluid, and also a drainage system to let the old fluid out. For the eye to remain healthy, there has to be a certain degree of balance between fluid in, and fluid out. Normal eye pressure is between 10 and 20, I don’t know what the unit of measurement is called. My pressure today was 5. Doc says that could mean that the eye is simply shutting down. At the time, I didn’t think to ask what happens when an eye shuts down, but I guess it can’t be anything good. Anyway, Halgren said that all of these complications since my transplant are not out of the ordinary for someone with eczema and allergies. I’m a little surprised that Doctor Hargrave back in Dallas never mentioned that.

In my right eye he said I need a transplant, of course I already knew that. He also said there is a significant cataract in that eye which I didn’t know, but didn’t surprise me that much. Pressure on that eye was 9, which is low, but not alarmingly so. He said that if I get a transplant in the right eye, I may very well experience the same complications I had with the left, and he said the odds of any success there are about 50/50.

So that’s where it stands. I’m scheduled to go back next Wednesday for the ultrasound, but about halfway home I realized that I have a dentist appointment that day. I think I’ll keep the dentist appointment. Maybe I’ll reschedule the ultrasound, and maybe I won’t. I honestly don’t know right now. Well, that’s not entirely true. I will most likely go ahead with it, but it probably won’t be right away. I still need to find out what the Lions are going to do anyway.

I suppose I should be depressed about all this, but I really don’t feel too bad. When it’s all said and done, I don’t think this really changes anything. It was in God’s hands before, and it is still in His hands now. Is a bad prognosis from a doctor going to influence the will of God? Of course not. Doctors are smart people, but they are just that, people, and I think doctors tend to be a bit near-sighted anyway, if you know what I mean. There is still hope. As long as I live and breathe, there will be hope.

1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. NIV

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. NKJV

When you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
--Victor Hugo

Journal - Some Lessons

So we went to church this morning. When we got there, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to turn it off, as I always do before we go inside. Except that when I pushed the button, the phone turned on instead of off, and the low battery sound started chiming. I realized that my phone had gone dead and turned off at some point. The last time I had used it was Friday when Lion lady’s husband called me to say that his wife would call me sometime. I thought, “Great, she probably tried to call and my phone was dead.” I couldn’t check for messages right then because there wasn’t enough battery power left.

When we got inside and took our seats, Pastor Brian, one of the associate pastors, came over to talk to us. Pastor Brian always makes it a point to talk to us and ask for any updates on my situation. I told him that I had called Lion lady a couple of times but hadn’t heard back from her. I didn’t tell him that I let my phone go completely dead, though. He said that he would pray for God to urge Lion lady to respond in some way.

When we got home from church, I plugged my phone in right away to charge the battery. While it was plugged in, I went ahead and checked for messages but there was nothing; she still hadn’t called. I let the phone charge for a while, then unplugged it and set it back on the desk where I keep it.

It was only an hour or two later when my phone rang. It was the Lion lady. Lion lady does, by the way, have a name, but I’m not entirely sure if it would be appropriate to name her here. Anyway, she said that her husband had had back surgery and just came home from the hospital on Friday. I thought it was odd that he was the one who had called on Friday. She also said her grandson had been in the hospital. I felt bad because I had some unkind thoughts about her during the last week. I guess that is God’s way of reminding me not to be so quick to judge. Anyway, Lion lady said she had a packet of information for me and I could stop by and pick it up anytime. We’ll be in Gibbon on Tuesday for Adam’s dentist appointment so I said we would stop by Tuesday afternoon.

So what did I learn today? Letm e see: don’t be too quick to judge others. That’s been a little bit of a problem for me during the last couple of years. I get so caught up in feeling sorry for myself, that I sometimes forget that other people have problems too. God has to slap me upside the head sometimes and remind me of that. I also got a nice little reminder of the power of prayer. Pastor Brian said he would pray for a response, and by golly I got one, just a few hours later.

As I am writing this, another thought occurs to me as well. I’ve been praying for a response from Lion lady all week, but it was not until I shared my concern with someone else, and got that person praying as well, that God made something happen. I’ve heard Doctor Stanley talk about this on the radio. It is so important for others to pray for us, as it is important for us to pray for them. Prayer is a powerful thing, but when many members of Christ’s body come together toward a common purpose, that’s when miracles begin to happen.

And once again, God has used my blog to help me understand some things. I sat down here simply to report on what happened today, but in doing so, I now see that there was a lot more going on beneath the surface that I might have missed. Writing things down has proven to be a pretty good way to organize my thoughts.

James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Journal - Job Market

I’m still thinking about that lady from the Lion’s Club. One of my fears is that I’ll get my sight back and my social security will be cut off and then I won’t be able to find a job. Part of me was sort of hoping the job market would pick up a little before that happened.

Today, I called the SSA in Grand Island to ask how quickly my benefits would stop if I was no longer disabled. The guy I spoke to said my benefits would continue for nine months. Actually, what he said was that if I go back to work, any month in which I earn more than $720 counts as one month and if I earn less than that, the month doesn’t count. After the ninth month that I earn more than $720 then my benefits will stop. That kind of makes it sound like I can keep getting disability benefits forever as long as I don’t go to work. It sounds a little screwy and I don’t know whether to believe him or not. I’ve gotten so much mis-information and truth slanting over the last two years that it’s getting pretty hard for me to believe what people say. If he had told me that my benefits would stop exactly one minute after my surgery was complete, I would have believed that.

I am reminded once again that I need to keep my faith with God, and not on human beings. Only God can carry me through this, and no one else. I feel very fortunate that there are a few people here on Earth that I can count on to help God’s plan along, but ultimately He is the focal point.

Probably what I will do is make a couple more calls to SSA and try to confirm what I was told today. When it’s all said and done, this won’t be a deciding factor, but it would be nice to avoid a nasty surprise later on.

On an unrelated matter, my mouth is feeling pretty good today. I had quite a bit of soreness when I woke up this morning, but I took some Ibuprofen like the dentist said and I’ve felt fine ever since. Still taking it easy though, I’ve only eaten raviolis and mashed potatoes today. And Pepsi of course. I can’t wait to brush my teeth again, yuck!

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

News - Conference Re-Alignment Taking Shape

On Friday, the University of Nebraska Board of Regents met in a televised conference to discuss and vote on a proposal to join the Big 10 conference. As expected, the board approved the motion in a unanimous vote of the members. While this was only a move to apply for membership into the Big 10, there is little doubt that the Big 10 will accept since they were the ones who extended the invitation.

Before the vote, most of the board members made brief speeches. The various speeches were mostly redundant, each member stating that a move to the Big 10 would be in the best interest of the university and the state of Nebraska for a variety of reasons, including increased research dollars, recruiting potential, and future stability. The increase in television revenues from sporting events was played down as a minor factor in the decision.

The only thing anyone said that was of real interest to me, was Athletic Director, Tom Osborne’s comment, “One school leaving a conference does not break up a conference. Two schools leaving a conference does not break up a conference. Six schools leaving a conference breaks up a conference.” Doctor Tom’s meaning was clear, even with Nebraska and Colorado already making pledges to join other conferences, it is still up to Texas whether or not the Big 12 continues to exist. Osborne is trying to make Texas the scape-goat, but I’m not sure if I agree with his logic. It's true, the remaining ten teams of the Big 12 could stick together and could even invite other schools to join, but without Nebraska and Colorado, the conference will be weaker and less attractive to the national television markets. I think it is only a matter of time now before the other schools of the Big 12 begin to disperse.

I’m glad that Nebraska was able to make a deal to ensure a stable future, but I still worry about what will happen to the rest of the Big 12 north. Kansas, Kansas State, Iowa State, and Missouri were important elements of the Big 12, but alone, they are not attractive targets for the major conferences to pick up. There was talk of Missouri also being invited to join the Big 10, but there has still been no official statement from the Big 10 on that. I just hate to see anyone get left behind. I dearly wish that the Big 10 would pick up at least one other team from the Big 12, thereby preserving at least a small part of Cornhusker football history. There's still plenty of time, the Big 10 has already stated that their expansion will take place in stages.

Now that Nebraska has made its decision, the media eye will most likely now turn to Texas. Will Texas pledge allegiance to the Pac 10, or will they try to piece together the crumbling Big 12? Only time will tell.

This all took place at approximately two o’clock pm cdt in Lincoln. When the five o’clock news came on, the first thing they announced was that the Big 10 had already accepted Nebraska’s application. I’m guessing the meeting this afternoon was just a formality and that this was already a done deal. The commissioner of the Big 10 conference was already on hand in Lincoln in time for the five o’clock news.

The official date of the merger will be July 1, 2011. That means this will be Nebraska’s last year in the Big 12, and maybe the last year of the Big 12 altogether. That will make this year’s football games very interesting indeed, especially Nebraska versus Texas on October 16 in Lincoln. For any teams that have grudges against each other, this will be their last chance to get one-up.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Inspirations - God's Filing Cabinet

This is something I heard on the radio the other day. It is part of a message that was delivered by Doctor Erwin Lutzer of the Moody Church in Chicago. I only tuned in about half-way through, but I was able to find the full message on their website.

Doctor Lutzer says:

A few years ago, a student gave me this story: In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in The Room, with walls covered with boxes of index files, stretched from floor to ceiling. One box was labeled, “People I have Liked.” I opened it, and to my surprise, each card had the name of a person I knew. Then I realized where I was; this was the catalogue file of my whole life. All the details, big and small were recorded.

Both curiosity and fear stirred within me as I began to randomly open the files. Some brought back wonderful memories, others triggered shame so intense that I glanced over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching.

Files included “Books I have Read”, and another, “Television Programs I have Watched.” And there was one, “Lies I Have Told”, and “Comfort I Have Given.” Then there was “Things Done in Anger”, and another file, “Times I have Cursed.” Also, there were files titled: “People I have Helped” and “Prayers I have Prayed.” I was overwhelmed with the sheer volume of the cards—there were hundreds of boxes and each contained hundreds of cards. I timidly opened the “People I have Hurt” file, and was amazed at its depth. Yet each card had my name and signature.

I was drawn to the file, “People I Have Shared the Gospel With”…and was embarrassed that the box was almost empty. When I moved on to the file titled: “People I’ve Not Forgiven,” I was surprised that the box was almost full. I did not have to look at each card, because I knew intuitively that these files were accurate; no mistakes here.

I glanced up and the file I dreaded most, “Lustful Thoughts” was in front of me. A shameful chill ran through my body. I opened the file, but only for a moment, not willing to test its bulk and size. Out of the corner of my eye I saw another file, “Various Sexual Sins;” I pretended not to notice and turned away.

I was obsessed with destroying the cards, but found I could not; though they were thin, they were as strong as steel. In fact, I could not even dislodge them from the file cabinets they were in. By now only one thought dominated my mind! No one must ever see these cards; no one must ever enter this room! Tears came to my eyes. I sobbed so violently that I began to shake. I fell on my knees and cried, humiliated and afraid. I must lock the room and hide the key!

As I wiped my tears away and was about to stand up, I noticed that someone had entered the room. I glanced at his face and… and then…I saw Him! “No, not Him…anyone but Jesus!” I turned away, burning with shame.

Then He began to open the files and read the cards. He went from box to box and when I glanced up, I saw a sorrow on His face that was as deep as my own. Why did He have to look at them? Why Him?

After a few moments, He walked over and put his arm around me. He said nothing, but just cried with me. Then He began to systematically go through the files one by one, from beginning to end, signing His name on each card. “No, I sobbed…you can’t do that!”

I was amazed at how quickly He went through all the boxes, and when He was finished he showed me some cards up close, and I noticed that on each was His signature, signed with His own blood, covering my name.

I turned away, and cried. But now He was standing beside me. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “It Is Finished.” He waited in silence for me to dry my tears then led me out of the room. Suddenly a verse I memorized in Sunday School flashed into my mind: “There is therefore no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus.” Together we walked down the hallway, but the door was left unlocked. My life was not yet over and there were cards that still needed to be written.

Don’t need to add much there, it pretty much speaks for itself.

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 43:25 "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

Lady Liberty Ponders

Lady Liberty Ponders
By Steven Brandt
May 1, 2010

Where were you when the astronauts died?
When they climbed the sky on their fateful ride.
The day the fireball filled the sky,
Did you watch the news or click on by?
For Challenger’s crew who rest on high.

Where were you when they opened fire?
When they needed guns, were you the buyer?
The day the school ran red with blood,
Did you say a prayer and call it good?
For Columbine sinking in the mire.

Where were you when the towers fell?
When my children screamed in their fiery hell?
The day the planes dropped from the sky,
Did you scratch your head and wonder why?
For September 11’s funeral bells.

Where were you when the levees broke?
When the wrath of God so clearly spoke.
The day an entire city drowned,
Did you watch it all from higher ground?
For Katrina in her deathly cloak.

Where were you my fortunate sons?
When destiny frowned on the unlucky ones.
The day you’re sinking in the sand,
Will others stop to lend a hand?
For Lady Liberty, weeping alone.

I recently read a book called “The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. The book uses as its focal point the tragic event that occurred at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. This excellent book really made me stop and think about some things.

One of the ideas Lamb puts forth in his book is how quickly we forget sometimes. Terrible things happen and we focus all of our attention on it for a few days, but then the next thing comes along.

So that’s what inspired this poem.

Revelation 12:9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"

Copyright 2010 Steven Brandt