Journal - Plentiful Harvest

Well here it is August already! Where has the summer gone? I just thought I would pop in for a minute today and show everyone how our garden is doing so far. We’ve had quite the plentiful harvest. Here are a few items sitting on our kitchen windowsill, ripening in the sun. Those red things are, yep you guessed it, tomatoes! The big round ones are a variety called “Better Boy.” They look like plain old tomatoes to me, but they are very sweet and delicious. The odd shaped one to the far right is a Roma tomato. We have four plants each of those two types but the Better Boys are far outproducing the Romas right now. We also have one “Pear Drop” tomato plant. It grows small tomatoes, something like an elongated cherry tomato, and they are orange in color rather than red. That one plant has been producing lots of little Pear Drops all summer and Joni loves them. I forgot to get some of those in this picture. On Thursday night we had to go to Adam’s school for an orientation so we dropped off some tomatoes at Mom’s because I know she loves fresh tomatoes.

The small green things in the picture are jalapeno peppers. I’m not that crazy about hot peppers but I thought it might be fun to grow some. We have four jalapeno plants in the garden and they are producing like crazy. We picked about 15 of them last week and there are at least that many new ones coming in now. Since we don’t really eat them ourselves, and since I know my brother Brad likes hot peppers, we took a bunch to his house the day we took our new car over for him to check out. Since then, we noticed that one pepper still on our windowsill has turned red. We didn’t know jalapenos turned red. Does that mean it’s especially hot?

Anyway, that big green pepper in the middle is a variety called “Giant Marconi.” We also have four of these in the garden and while they took a while to get started, we finally have several growing now. This was the first one to start and the only one we have picked so far. This is also a nice example of the species because several of the ones that are still on the plants are growing in curls, almost a complete circle in some cases. Joni calls them “Elfin Peppers” because they remind her of the curly-toed shoes that elves wear. I can’t wait to try this thing; it sure looks good!

Today, Sunday, I had the day off of work so we went in to Mom’s to bag up some sweet corn. Mike and Bobbi had some ready in their patch. Mom went out after church and picked a few dozen ears, then we all got to work shucking, cleaning, boiling, cooling, cutting, and bagging it. It’s a messy job but it’s a good way to spend time together as a family, and we sure enjoy having fresh sweet corn all winter long. It also kind of brings back happy memories of growing up on the farm. Grandma and Grandpa would come out and we would all work on an entire pickup-load of corn, spending the entire day at it. Today, we started at around noon and finished up by 4:30 or so and came home with 18 bags of corn to stock our freezer with.

This is what life is all about, isn’t it? Hard work and fellowship, and everyone sharing in the harvest. God has certainly been good to us.

John 4:34-38 34 Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. 35 Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. 36 Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. 37 For here the saying holds true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ 38 I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.” ESV

Journal - Easter

After our exciting Wednesday evening with the fire, Thursday and Friday passed without much happening. I had been hoping to get outside and do some work in the yard on Friday but it was cloudy and gray and very windy and just not very pleasant to be out in. So we sat around the house all day, all three of us since Adam had Thursday and Friday off from school.

Saturday turned out bright and sunny with temps around 65. I decided to work in the yard for a bit even though it was still a bit on the breezy side. I got the weed-eater out of the shed to look and see if I could do anything with it. It works okay as far as I know but the fuel line is dry-rotted and snapped off. I wanted to see if I could figure out how to replace it but I couldn’t really tell much. I knew I would be seeing my brother Brad, who knows a lot more than I do about fixing things, on Sunday so I decided to wait and ask him about it.

So I put the weed-eater away and got out the rake and went to work on the area that had been our vegetable garden two years ago, but last year was nothing at all. We had been piling downed branches there and an awful lot of leaves had gathered there as well. I started raking and filled up my 50 gallon bucket 5 or 6 times with leaves and branches and various trash. It was too windy to burn so I dumped it all in a big pile near the incinerator where it would be ready to go on the next calm day.

And then Sunday was Easter! After a really nice service at our church in Kearney we gathered at my sister’s house as we usually do for Easter. Mom was there, Brad and his family, Bobbi and Mike’s family of course including all four kids, Mike’s step-daughter Courtney and her two little girls Hannah and Samantha, and the three of us. Mike and Bobbi had prepared a couple of delicious hams along with cheesy potatoes, corn, strawberries, rolls, wheat bread from Bobbi’s bread-machine, deviled eggs, and Brad brought his famous pasta salad. It was a really excellent meal and I had two plates full, which I hardly ever do anymore.

Before dinner I was asking Mike about planting potatoes. Mike knows just about everything about agriculture and gave me some good tips on potatoes. All you have to do is cut up some potatoes and plant them, making sure that each piece has an eye on it. He said that it’s not a bad idea to let the pieces dry for a day or two before planting them to avoid rot but also said that he has put them straight in the ground before and had good results. Store-bought potatoes may not work as well because they are often sprayed with an inhibitor to keep the eyes from sprouting right away, but the potatoes I had were direct from a grower; they had donated some to Mom’s church for a fund raiser and Mom had given us some. After all of Mike’s good information and advice, I felt I was ready to try some.

During dinner I also asked Brad about the weed-eater. Without him being able to look at it, it was naturally difficult to make a diagnosis but said I should check if the fuel line has a nipple on the outside of the fuel tank, something I hadn’t thought to check, or if it’s inside the tank. So that’s my next step on that “project”.

After dinner, the kids had their annual Easter egg hunt. The youngest of the kids is now 14 with the oldest being in their 20’s but they are all good sports about it. Oh, except for Courtney’s two little girls who are still small, that made it more fun. They hunted their eggs and generally had a good time.

After that, we sat around and chatted for a while, which I always enjoy, and then it was time to go home. It was a very fun day and I was still stuffed with food and felt very content.

Matthew 17:22-23 As they were gathering in Galilee, Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him, and he will be raised on the third day.” And they were greatly distressed. ESV

Luke 24:1-3 But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. ESV

Thought For The Day

Saturday afternoon at the Christmas Eve service, Joni and I were talking to a friend of ours, an older lady, and she was telling us of some of the hardships she had endured in her younger days. She wasn’t complaining or anything like that, we were just having a conversation. Then she said to me, “…but I don’t think I could survive without my sight, you’re a brave person.”
I thanked her for the compliment, but it got me thinking about things. I lost my sight and learned to live with that, as many others do, but what if I lost my family? I think that would be much harder to endure. I’m guessing that all those poor people who take their own lives are the ones who didn’t have the support of loved ones when times got tough. I feel very fortunate to have the strong family that I do, and very fortunate to have such a kind and loving Father in heaven who always knows just exactly what I need, even when I don’t know it myself.

Mark 3:35 For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” ESV

Psalms 70:5 "But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God!
You are my help and my deliverer;
O Lord, do not delay!" ESV

Journal - Fourth of July

On Friday, we all got together at Bobbi and Mike’s house for our Fourth of July celebration. We had it a couple of days early because Kylie is leaving for Camp Merrill on Sunday. Gathered at the house were Mike, Bobbi, Brian, Elliott, Brandon, and Kylie. Mike’s parents, Cliff and Francey were there, and Bobbi’s and my mom too. Cliff’s sister Marsha came over, and Mike’s sister Elaina with her husband Greg. Also there was Mike’s step-daughter Courtney, and her two little girls Samantha and Hannah. And, of course, Joni, Adam, and myself.
The weather turned out just about perfect. It had been a hot day, and was still about 90 degrees when we left our house at 6:30. We all wore jeans because we were afraid the mosquitos would be bad, so I thought it might be pretty uncomfortable. But not long after we arrived, it started to cool down and it was a very pleasant evening.
First, we had supper. Mike had started up a good sized fire and we roasted hot dogs. There were also potato and macaroni salads, deviled eggs, and an orange salad that Francey had brought. That orange salad was very good and I found out it’s made with tapioca pudding and orange jello. Sounds gross, but it was good.
After that there was birthday cake. Samantha was celebrating her seventh birthday, and there was ice-cream cake for all. I didn’t have any cake because I had already eaten too much: three hot dogs and two helpings of everything else. I did manage to squeeze in a few toasted marshmallows later on though.
After all the food was put away, we sat outside talking until it was dark. Then the fireworks began. Brandon, Kylie, and Elliott brought out a rather large box of fireworks and put on quite a show.
It was a very enjoyable evening. Lots of good food, good company, the weather was beautiful, and the mosquitos weren’t bad either. I think it was about 11:30 when we got home, happy but tired.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. ESV

Journal - Another Christmas in the Bag

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. I just don’t know where the time gets to; the older I get, the faster the years go by. I had a really nice Christmas season though. Last year, Christmas kind of depressed me but not so much this year.
On Christmas Eve, Joni, Adam, and I wen to the candlelight service at our church in Kearney. I always liked candlelight services, they’re so beautiful, and I was a little surprised to find that not being able to see the candles didn’t bother me so much. It was a nice service; scripture readings and songs about Jesus’ birth. It was only about an hour long and I kind of wished it could have been a little longer. After that, we stopped at Burger King for supper, arare treat for us. We wanted Runza but they weren’t open, and the line at McDonald’s was huge.
On Christmas morning, I was awakened bright an early to open presents, then our whole family gathered at Brad’s house. He and Cindy put on a grandfeast with turkey and ham and all the good things that go with them. After dinner, we had our gift exchange and sat around talking for a while. Then we just came home and relaxed. Joni and I ended the evening listening to “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I downloaded the DVS version of the film, which is basically the audio track with a narrator describing the scenes in between lines of dialogue. That one was narrated by President George Bush Sr, an he actually did a good job of it.
Aunt LeeDel came down from SiouxFalls on the Monday after Christmas. On Tuesday she came out to hear my Christmas music, and Mom and Bobbi listened a second time. I’m glad I got to play again, I enjoy it a lot. I’m beginning to appreciate being able to use the gift God gave me to bring joy to others, instead of just enjoying it myself. Just one more lesson that God is teaching me through my blindness. Before I went blind, I didn’t really play very much.
So we had a good Christmas. I remember last year we got snowed in on Christmas day and couldn’t go anywhere. I’m glad that didn’t happen again.
I hope that you, reader, had a nice Christmas with your family as well, and I wish you all the best in the New Year.

Luke 2:15-20 When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. ESV

Journal - Christmas Party

On Saturday the 18th, Joni and I had our Christmas party here at the house. We had a great time with lots of good food and good music.
We had a pretty big crowd. Brad and Cindy were here with two of their kids, DJ and Taylor. Bobbi and Mike came with all four of their kids, Brian, Elliot, Brandon, and Kylie. Mom was here too of course, along with the three of us. Fourteen people in all, which was four more than we had last year. It was great having so many people here. A lot of times I feel kind of put out with so many people around, but it doesn’t seem to bother me as much here in my own home. The kids got a little rowdy, but I loved every minute of it.
For supper, we had sloppy joe’s. Not very fancy, but very simple for a large crowd, and something that everyone likes. To go with that, Joni had picked up buckets of potato salad and macaroni salad at Walmart. Also Mom brought a veggie tray, a necessity for any gathering, Brad brought a crock-pot full of his famous baked beans, and Bobbi brought a cherry dessert that was simply scrumptious. The highlight of the evening was when Brandon dropped a whole sloppy joe on the kitchen floor. Haha! That made our dog, Sassie, happy. We had her locked up in the basement and she seemed to calm down after she got Brandon’s sandwich. It seemed like a ton of food, but we had surprisingly few leftovers. That was nice because last year we had a lot leftover and Joni and I were eating chicken fajitas for about a week after.
After supper and a quick clean-up, it was time for me to get out my sax. I was nervous, but not nearly as nervous as I was last year. The songs all went reasonably well, my only major screw-up was on the very last song, “Let it Snow.” I think because it was my last song, I let my guard down and I messed up on a part that I never really had any trouble with in my rehearsals. My toughest song this year was “Sleigh Ride” and that one went pretty well. My favorite song to play was “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and I was very happy with how that one turned out. The big hit of the night seemed to be “Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song)”. I kind of expected that, it’s really a beautiful song.
After that we sat around and talked for a while, and then it was over. I was kind of sad after everyone had gone home. I looked forward to the evening for several weeks, and then it was over so fast. I just sat for a while listening to Christmas music and trying to hang on to the warm feeling of having my family around me. That happened last year too, and the melancholy persisted into the new year, but I seemed to rebound a lot better this year. Aunt LeeDel is supposed to come down from Sioux Falls the week after Christmas, if the weather holds up, and I asked Mom if they would like to run out while she’s here so I can play for her. So I think we’re going to do that next Tuesday.
Anyway, we had a really great time, and I think everyone else did too. I can’t wait to do it again next year!
Oh, I almost forgot! It snowed Saturday morning and afternoon before everyone came. It was a nice gentle snow, without any wind, and it was just enough to cover the ground without making it difficult to drive in. That was the perfect touch, it just doesn’t feel like Christmas without snow.

Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. NKJV

Matthew 1:21 She will bring fortha son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. NKJV

Journal - Memorial Gathering

Tonight, Tuesday, we had our second Memorial weekend gathering at Bobbi and Mike’s house. Aunt LeeDel, Uncle Butch, and Uncle Marvin were there again, along with Mom, Bobbi, Mike, Brandon, and Elliot. Me, Joni, and Adam were there of course, and Brad, Cindy, Daniel, DJ, and Taylor. Our surprise guest was Carly who is Daniel's girlfriend. That was kind of exciting, Daniel has never introduced a girlfriend to the family before as far as I know. As I mentioned before, Kyli wasn’t there because she left for her band trip early Tuesday morning, and Brenna had a softball game. I'm sort of feeling like I goofed on that. I feel like I should have gone to Brenna's softball game tonight. I’m still trying to figure out this whole "Dad" thing. I guess I don't have to go to every single thing she does. I guess that’s how it is with families, sometimes you have to choos. My heart was with her, though. There were storms in the area tonight, so I hope she didn’t get stormed on.

Anyway, we had a good time at Bobbi’s. Mike cooked hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill which is one of my favorite things about summer. There was potato salad and Brad’s famous macaroni salad, and ribbon jello which I love. For dessert there was brownies and Mom’s famous jello poke cake. After dinner we just sat around and talked while all the kids went outside to play hacky-sack or something. It was a fun evening, and also tiring. All those voices!

Tomorrow Uncle Marvin will be driving back to Texas, Aunt LeeDel back to Sioux Falls, and Uncle Butch back to Crete. It sure was good seeing them again, and I’ll be prayingfor safe journey's tomorrow.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Memories - UNO by Candlelight

The audio book I’m currently reading is “Cell” by Stephen King. I came to a part in the story yesterday where one of the characters took out a gas lantern to light his house after a blackout. Reading that triggered a memory of my childhood. It's a small memory, just a snapshot really, but the memory brought a smile to my face so I thought I would put it in my blog.

I don’t remember what year this was, but I know it had to be in the 1970’s. I know that because Dad was there and he left in 1980.

Just like in the story I’m reading, we had a power outage out on the farm. I don’t remember why the power was out, a summer storm maybe. I don’t think it was a winter storm because with no power the house would have gotten cold and I don't remember it being cold.

Anyway, the power was out and Dad had gotten out our green lantern with the red “Coleman” label on the side. It was the same lantern we took to the lake when we went camping. He must have had to go down to the basement to get it I suppose, I don't really remember where our tent and other camping gear was stored.

Dad lit up the lantern and then hung it from the light fixture in the kitchen. Then all six of us sat around the table in our small kitchen and played UNO. Does anybody remember that card game? The lamp was hung right above the table, but the light was dim. I remember how we had trouble telling the blue cards from the green, and laughing every time somebody mixed them up.

I’m so glad I have this memory. I actually don’t have very many memories of our home life when Dad still lived with us. I remember our camping trips to the lake pretty clearly, and I remember that evening when we all sat down together and played cards by lamplight. It seems that my strongest memories are of times when we were all together as a family. I guess that is to be expected. I was only nine when Dad moved out, and it didn’t seem like he was around that much even before that.

Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Journal - Easter and Stuff

Well, I’m in kind of a writing slump again. I’ve had a few things to write about, but I just haven't been in the mood. So I'm forcing myself again. In the past, I’ve forced myself to write when I didn't feel like it and it sort of opened a floodgate and all kinds of things came pouring out, so we'll see what happens.

Last Saturday we went to Mom’s for lunch. Brenna had spent Friday night at her house and Saturday morning they made cookies. The cookies were for Brenna’s birthday which is today, April 8th. Happy 13th Brenna! My daughter is a teenager. That feels pretty weird. Brenna told me she has a violin recital on the 24th so I’ll have to be sure and get the exact time and place so I don’t miss that.

On Sunday we went to Bobbi and Mike’s for Easter dinner. Mom was there and also Brad and his family, everyone except Daniel who is Brad's oldest. He had to work I think. We had a good time and the kids had their Easter egg hunt, even though two of them are in college now.

Basketball season is all over with now. The men’s championship game was on Monday, Duke just barely beat Butler, only winning by two points. The women's final game was on Tuesday. Uconn won as expected, but Stanford really gave them a tough game. Stanford actually led for a majority of the game and Uconn only won by six points. There is quite a history between those two teams. The last time Uconn lost a game was back in 2008 when they lost to Stanford. Stanford only lost two games this year, both times to Uconn including the championship game. That was an exciting game but I wish the Huskers had been playing.

Last week, DJ, Brad’s daughter, had emailed me and asked if I would bring my saxophone to Bobbi’s house on Easter and play for everyone. She didn’t get to come to our Christmas party last year when I played for the family. She plays the sax now at college. I told her instead of playing on Easter Joni and I would have everyone over sometime this summer and I would play then. Then I found out she’s going on an internship to Connecticut and will be gone all summer. I told her she’d just have to wait until next Christmas then. I already let it slip about playing this summer, though, so I doubt if Mom will let me out of it now. I need to start practicing again. I started using slightly heavier reeds and I was surprised how tired my lip and jaw get. The heavier reeds will give more control over the tone though once I get used to them.

Okay, that’s it for now. see you next time.

Matthew 28:1-6 1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

Memories - Family Vacations

Ah, family vacations. We all love them, don’t we? Whenever we can afford to take them, that is. I remember the last one I went on. That was in 2003 I think, or maybe 2004. Joni, Adam, and I went down to Houston for a Labor Day weekend. We visited Johnson Space Center and Moody Gardens and stayed in a hotel and had a pretty good time.

That was a lot different than the family vacations we took when I was a kid. I’m talking way back in the 70’s, when Mom and Dad were still married. Dad was a farmer, as I have mentioned before, and we couldn’t go anywhere as long as he had to water the crops. So we waited for rain. It had to be a pretty good rain, too, so that he didn’t have to irrigate for a few days. When the rain finally came, we would put the topper on the pickup, hook up the boat, and head for Lake McConaughy, which is out east near Ogallala, Nebraska..

Mom and Dad would ride up front, and us four kids all rode in the back of the pickup with lots of blankets and pillows to flop around on. The tent, sleeping bags and coolers would all be packed in the boat for the trip. Those were such simple times. We didn’t worry about seat belts and air bags and crash test ratings, we just hopped in the back of the pickup, and off we went. If anyone tried that today, they’d probably be thrown in jail and their kids sent to foster homes. I don’t remember at all how long the trip to the lake was. I know it had to be at least a couple of hours, but we didn't mind. Getting there really was half the fun in those days.

Most of my memories of our camping trips are only fragments. There wasn't any one trip in particular that stands out in my mind. Our tent was blue and yellow and was big enough for all six of us. I remember the pitch blackness of those nights in the tent. I was afraid of the dark as a child, but with my family all around me, there was nothing to be afraid of. One memory fragment I have is of waking up in the middle of the night and feeling cold. I got up and carefully felt my way around for a minute looking for the pile of blankets. When I found a blanket and tried to take it, someone pulled back, so I think I gave up.

Those bright summer days of roaming the sandy shore of the lake seemed endless. The particular area where we always camped had kind of a little cliff with a long slope of sand stretching out in front of it. We used to climb to the top of the slope and then run down, or roll down all the way to the bottom. I kind of remember Brad stepping on a cactus there one time. I think Mom has some pictures of us rolling down that slope.

Speaking of pictures, I remember one picture that Mom has. It is of me holding a tiny little tadpole in my cupped hands. I only vaguely remember catching tadpoles where the water was very shallow. Actually, I think someone else caught the tadpole, maybe Brad, and gave it to me so Mom could take the picture. I was very young, couldn’t have been more than five. I think my hair was still mostly blond in that picture.

Of course, we would go out on the boat, too, but that wasn’t my favorite part of going to the lake. Dad liked to go fishing, but I never cared much for it. Also, Mom and the older kids would water ski, but I was too little. We had to wear those bulky orange life-jackets, too, and I hated wearing them. I remember one time when the boat broke down, and Dad had to call out on the CB radio to get someone to tow us back to the marina.

Just fragments. I remember Spam and squeezy cheese in a tube that we put on crackers or celery. I remember different flavors of Shasta sodas, we call it pop here in the Midwest. Those were special treats that we only indulged in at the lake, making our time there even more special. I can’t really remember what else we ate. I remember the little portable am/fm radio. Barry Manilow’s “Copa Cabana” was a big hit one summer, I remember hearing it on the radio at the lake. And sand, sand, sand. No matter how you tried, it just got into everything.

Our little family vacations sure were fun, and they always ended too soon. The saddest part was taking the boat out of the water because then you really knew it was over. “Just one more dip in the water? Please, Mom, please?” The answer was always "No.” Back into the pickup we went, and back home to the boring old farm.

Those were the good old days, all right. It’s tempting, sometimes, to wish for those days again, but that’s just not the way of things. God gave each one of us a unique past, and a unique set of life experiences. All of our lives He works to make each one of us a unique and valuable part of His plan.

We all have good memories, and bad memories. We should never wish the bad ones had never happened, because they made us who we are, just as much as the good ones did. Wishing for a different past is like telling God He made a mistake. He shaped each of us to perform a particular task, something that no other person on Earth can do. It’s our job to find out what that task is, and do it to the best of our abilities. And the greatest thing about God is that it’s never too late. As long as you are drawing breath, there’s still time. Make the most of it!

1 Corinthians 12:12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.

I Still Have

Well, here I am again, still feeling blue. I shouldn’t say 'still', it's not like I’ve been in a constant state of depression all week. I actually felt pretty normal today, but when I go to bed at night, all those thoughts that I keep suppressed during the day start bobbing to the surface.

Earlier in the week, I was looking at my sadness as just the normal let-down after a big event; such as our party on Saturday, but as I lay in bed earlier tonight, I began to realize that it goes a little deeper than that. I think what it all comes down to is that this is my first Christmas blind. I guess that should have been pretty obvious, but it honestly didn’t occur to me before.

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. More than that, it’s always felt magical to me. The music, the decorations, the lights, people’s attitudes toward one another. The whole world just feels different at Christmas time.

I used to love going out on a cold evening after work to find presents for my loved ones. Hustling from the car into a warm store, seeing the beautiful Christmas displays, the corny music on the muzak system. Then hustling back to the car, maybe with packages, maybe not, and cranking up the heater. And if it was snowy and a little slippery, so much the better! I always loved a white Christmas.

And the lights! Lights and lights, everywhere! In my small home town, there was one little street where every single house would be totally outlined in colorful strings of lights. And we always knew the good neighborhoods to visit in nearby Kearney as well. In Texas, there’s a place called Santa Land. It’s a wooded area, just off the interstate, where they have cut a path through the trees, wide enough to drive through. And there are thousands and thousands of Christmas lights strung everywhere. Not just lights, either, but little displays set up here and there; wooden cut-outs of elves in workshops, children ice- skating, Santa and his reindeer. At one point, you pass by a small pond, and there are three crosses outlined in white lights on the other side. You can see the crosses, and also the reflections in the still water, and it’s so beautiful. In another place, they put the strings of lights high in the trees and just let them hang straight down all around you as you drive through. You cannot possibly visit this place and leave feeling unhappy.

This year, I have none of that. No driving on snowy streets, no decorations, no lights. We have snow, our first white Christmas in years, but I can’t see it. I can’t even see my own Christmas tree. And I’m sad.

I know those things are not what Christmas is about, but how do I cope with the loss of all that beauty? Well, I guess I have to focus on the things I still have.

Sounds. There are still the sounds. It was windy when I went to bed earlier. I mentioned once before how I always liked listening to the wind on a cold snowy night. And I could hear Grandpa's wind chime outside too. I wonder if Uncle Butch knew what a blessing that would be to me.

Sounds. I still have music, and thank God for that. I think going deaf would have been much more devastating to me than going blind. I still have music. And that reminds me, I was listening to a Trans Siberian Orchestra cd today and noticed something a little bit amazing. I’ve had the cd for a couple of years, but since I only listen to it at Christmas, I don’t know every song by heart yet. I noticed one song today that slipped by me before. It sounded like a boys’ choir and a lot of the words were hard to make out, but I caught a repeating phrase at the end; falling snow, falling snow, falling snow. It made me think of my friend Ro and the choir concert she had not too long ago. She mentioned a song called “Falling Snow" and I couldn't help but wonder if this was the same song. I really think it is because it sounds just the way she described it in her blog. And it was just as beautiful as she said it was.

So I still have music. Did God know how much that would mean to me, when he gave it to me? Well, of course He did. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating; God knew exactly what I would need to get me through this part of mylife. What an amazing God He is.

And, speaking of things God gave me, I have the most wonderful family a person could ask for. Some of them I’ve known all my life, some just a few years, but they are all precious to me, and I’m so thankful that we will all be together on Christmas day. Thanks again, God.

Well, what do you know, I’m feeling a little better. I guess maybe God knew I would need this blog too. I started it with grand visions of God using it to help people. I didn’t know that one of those people would be me.

Thank you for reading, whoever you may be. Thank you for being witness to what God is doing in my life. To you and yours, I wish all the peace and good will that God may bring. Merry Christmas!

Deuteronomy 28:2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.

Journal - Happy Birthday!

Wow! It’s a landmark day for Drums In The Deep! This is the first time I’ve posted twice in one day. Ensign Ro will be so proud of me!

Well, I was up late last night getting some things off my chest. And I must say, after that I went to bed and slept very soundly until about 7:30 this morning. Things always look better in the light of day, even if you can’t see the light, so to speak. Also, I got a couple of very thought-provoking comments on last night’s post. So I’m feeling a little better about things this morning. Also, I can’t be down today because IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!

Yup, I’m 39 today, and it’s shaping up to be a good day. I had lots of nice things in my email this morning; blog comments, birthday wishes from Facebook, an e-card from Aunt LeeDel, and a birthday email from Mom. Joni is off to Kearney to get my birthday socks. I love getting new socks, and I look forward to them all year. Last years’ socks really took a beating. Since I haven’t been working, I haven’t been wearing shoes very much so my socks are all worn out. Also, Joni is bringing home McDonald’s for lunch. A couple of days ago, I saw a commercial for a new burger they have; the 1/3 pound angus burger! Well, let me tell you, I’ve been dying to try one ever since I saw it so that’s what I’m getting for my birthday. Also we’ll get some of the Coke glasses they’re giving with the value meals. That will be nice because since going blind, I’ve broken all our glasses. We all have to use plastic cups now.

So I just wanted to post something happy today to balance out the more somber post of last night. After I finish this I’m going to practice on my sax for a while. Which reminds me! I’m so excited, Joni and I are having the family over on the 19th for a little pre-Christmas get-together. We’re going to have supper and then I’m going to play some Christmas music.

As an early birthday present last week, Joni let me download some new karaoke songs. At Amazon.com, you can buy and download individual songs for 99 cents each. I think that’s a great deal instead of buying a whole CD that has maybe 1 or 2 good songs on it. So I got 10 new Christmas songs. Some of them are really difficult so I’ve been working really hard on them. I’m excited about it because my family has done so much for me this year, and I know it’s not much, but this is how I can say thanks.

One more thing and then I’m out of here. It’s cold! Joni said it was 10 degrees this morning. Am I missing Texas? Well, I miss the weather, I know that much. I’ll take 100 degree summers over this anytime! Now if I could just get my family to move down there!

Isn’t that amazing? Just a few hours ago I was all depressed, but I prayed about it and God lifted my spirits! And he used all of my favorite people to do it!

Okay, gott ago practice. See ya later!

Psalms 31:7 I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;

Memories - Thanksgiving

Well, Thanksgiving is almost here again. What does Thanksgiving make me think of? Food, of course! But more importantly it makes me think of family. As with most families, Thanksgiving for us was about getting together to enjoy good food and good company.

My parents split up when I was 9 and the arrangement we had was Thanksgiving with Dad, Christmas with Mom. I was young enough when this tradition began that it always seemed perfectly natural to me. As a matter of fact, I honestly can’t remember any Thanksgivings before that. I have no idea what we did when my parents were still married.

So we always gathered at Grandma Brandt’s house. She always did all the cooking herself. I don’t think she would have trusted anyone else in her kitchen. Uncle Gary and Aunt Ellen would always come from Des Moines, along with our three cousins Jeff, Greg, and Eric. That was kind of special in itself because Uncle Gary and family only came to visit twice a year.

Those are good memories. The house would smell so good and there would be so many people around. Then after dinner we could go out and show our cousins around the farm. I remember one year we found a lump of some kind of chalky stuff and we used it to write all over an old shed. Then Grandpa Meril Dean saw it and made us clean it off. That was the same Grandpa that got after us for making paths through the corn. What a fuddy-duddy!

Inevitably, there came a year when Grandma said she just couldn’t do all that cooking anymore. I don’t blame her, I know how much work that is, but Thanksgiving just never felt the same after that. Instead of our home-cooked feasts, we started going out for Thanksgiving dinner. And it wasn’t long after that when Uncle Gary stopped coming. His boys were grown and they had gatherings of their own to attend.

We still had our time together with Dad and Grandma and Grandpa though. That tradition held until the mid 90’s. Grandpa died in 1992 and Dad in 1995. And us kids were grown by then too. Brad had a family of his own, and Bobbi had her family out on the east coast. Kevin was who-knows-where by then. That was around the time that I moved away too. It’s a little sad when traditions end and families grow and spread out, but that’s the natural order of things.

After that, our Thanksgivings were catch-as-catch-can. You were never really sure who might show up on any given year. In 2003, Joni and Adam came to live with me and all the sudden I had a family of my own. For the next six years we had quiet gatherings in our little apartment in Dallas. I always missed my family back home, just as Joni missed hers, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the quieter atmosphere and the beginning of a new tradition.

Now here I am back in Nebraska again, and it looks like Thanksgiving this year is going to be something really special. This year marks the first time that my three siblings and I will all be together at the same time since about 1987. I'm only guessing here, but I think Mom is kind of excited about that. I find that I’m a little excited about it too. My daughter, Brenna, will be coming so not only will us four kids be there, but also all of the grandkids; about 10 in all I think. That will be quite a crowd!

That will be on Wednesday since that was the only day we could all get together. On Thanksgiving day, Brad and family go to His mother-in-law’s, and Joni and I have decided to have our traditional quiet gathering here at the house. I find that I am looking forward to both gatherings with equal anticipation.

Traditions are so important in this crazy, ever-changing world we live in. They give us a sense of belonging; something to come home to. I said earlier that it’s sad when traditions end, but maybe they don’t really end. Maybe they just grow and evolve, like our families. The gatherings I am looking forward to this week will involve very different groups of people than the gatherings of my childhood, but it's still family, and it's still Thanksgiving. I will enjoy it while it lasts and look forward to future holidays, whatever shape they may take.

Thanks for reading today. I hope you enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving tradition with your own family this year. And if you don’t have a tradition, it’s never too late to start a new one.

Jeremiah 30:19 And out of them shall proceed thanksgiving and the voice of them that make merry: and I will multiply them, and they shall not be few; I shall also glorify them and they shall not be small.

Memories; Children of the Corn

Hi there! If you’ve been to Drums In The Deep before, I’m very glad to have you back. If this is your first visit, welcome!

I think I said in an earlier post that I wasn’t going to bore you with long descriptions of life in the Midwest, but I’ve changed my mind. “Captain’s Prerogative” as Jean-Luc Picard would say. Being back home here in Nebraska has left me feeling kind of nostalgic so I thought I would explore that a little bit.

When I was a child, during the mid 1970’s this was, we had to be a little more creative in our entertainment than kids today. The internet was still 20 years away. Computers had already been invented, of course, but the smallest model would have been roughly the size of the house my family lived in. Heck, the Atari game system wasn’t even around yet. Also, we lived “in the country” which meant that during summer vacation we rarely, if ever, saw our friends from school. No, it was pretty much just my three siblings and me.

We had fun though, don’t get me wrong. When you live on a farm there are always things to explore and fun places to play. The thing I remember most about those long summers is the corn.

The house we grew up in was bordered closely on two sides by cornfields. In the spring and early summer Dad would always be in the field, driving his tractor up and down the long rows. Planting, cultivating, ridging, spraying: I can’t imagine the hours he must have spent out there.

Sometimes when Dad was working in the field, Mom would be in the kitchen baking chocolate-chip cookies. Dad liked them without the chips, what a weirdo. She would bake him some plain ones before adding the chocolate, put them in a container, and send me outside with them. I would stand at the edge of our yard, right where it bordered the cornfield, and wait for the tractor to pass by. When it did, I would walk out to meet it. Dad would stop the tractor and help me up into the cab so I could give him his cookies. Then he would let me sit on his lap for a while and steer the tractor. Not that there was much steering to do. I got to hold onto the wheel though, and that was pretty darn cool.

By late June or so, the tractor work would be done and there was nothing to do but watch the corn grow. Corn grows pretty fast and it also grows pretty tall. If you’ve never been up close to a cornfield you may not realize that the stalks can grow to a height of seven feet or more. To a kid of 6 or 7 years, that is an awesome height. Once the corn was over our heads, the real fun would begin.

There would be endless games of tag, or hide-and-seek out in the corn. We would trample a few stalks down here and there to make paths and mazes to play in. Until Grandpa found out, that is. He was not impressed. It’s hard for me to put into words what a magical place that was to play in. Wonderful and a little scary all at the same time. Secretive and exciting. What if we got lost out there someday and couldn’t find our way back to the yard? Being the youngest, that probably bothered me more than the older kids. But I always felt safe with my brothers and sister.

Well, the impossibly long summers always managed to end very abruptly, and then it was time to go back to school. As September faded into October, the corn would gradually ripen and begin to turn dry and brown. Then one day we would come home from school and the combine would be making its rounds, slowly gobbling up the corn.

Those golden days of late October stand out so clearly in my mind. Watching Dad drive the combine back and forth across the field, stopping occasionally to dump the picked and shelled corn into one of the trucks. And how strange to see the old trucks moving around! All year they just sat there like museum relics, and now they were moving around; lumbering dinosaur skeletons suddenly come to life!

Before we knew it, the corn was all gone and there was nothing left but empty husks and chaff blowing up into the yard. That was a little sad, but also kind of new and exciting. After being boxed in by the corn all those months, suddenly we could see for miles in every direction. Like the whole world had been opened up to us. So long corn, see you next summer.

Those were the good old days. My family was not well off, we didn’t have much in the way of material possessions, but somehow that never bothered us. We had each other and that was enough. I have a family of my own now, and how I long to give them the kind of life I had. It’s not within my means to give this to them, but you know what? We have each other, and that’s enough.

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Matthew 9:37-38 Then saith He unto His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Pray ye, therefore, the Lord of the harvest, that He will send forth laborers into His harvest.”