Assumption Catholic School

So on Election Day, Joni and I had to drive to Omaha to see Dr. Feilmeier, which I have already talked about. As I also mentioned before, we drove by the polling place for our rural area to vote on our way out of town.

Our polling place is a small country church that sits 5 miles east and 2 miles north of us. That places it exactly in the middle of nowhere. Upon leaving the church I headed due north, not exactly sure where we would come out but knowing the interstate was north of us and we would hit it eventually. So we drove north and made one little jog to the east and, as it turned out, we were due north of Shelton, heading up the blacktop toward the interstate on and off ramps. Just before we got to the interstate we came across this incredible looking house.

Does this look like a haunted house or what? We didn’t stop that day because we had an appointment to keep in Omaha, but on my next day off we grabbed the camera and headed back over here. Of course, neither of us had any idea what this grand old house was doing here but I was dying to find out. There was a realtor sign on the property with an internet address, so after taking some pictures we went back home to do some research.

From the realtor’s website I learned that this building was once the Assumption Catholic School in Assumption, Nebraska. I had never heard of Assumption, Nebraska so I had to look that up too. It was a little township in Southwest Adams County, near where Roseland would later be established and not far from Juniata, which was then the county seat. Immigrants from Germany and Luxembourg originally settled the area. The Assumption School was built in 1899 at a cost of $2,600 and classes began in September 1900. School attendance peaked between 1912 and 1915 with around 120 students.

This is the Assumption School shortly after its construction. There were two large classrooms on the second floor of the building while the main floor served as living quarters for the administrators of the school, the Sisters of the Precious Blood of Jesus of O’Fallon, Missouri. In addition, there was a small room in one corner of the main floor set aside for boarders, girls who lived far away. Each school day began with Mass at 8:30 and then the children divided for classes, boys in one room and girls in the other. Tuition in 1901 was $1 per student per semester and the children were also required to buy their own books and supplies.

I’m not sure what year this picture was taken but you can see that the surrounding area looks more developed, while in the older picture it looks like the school is sitting out on an open prairie. In the 1920’s, classes were added for grades 9 and 10. During the ‘40’s a hot lunch program began in the parish hall next door to the school. In 1957 a kitchen and dining room were added to the school building and indoor restrooms were also added that year. In 1970 the number of grades was reduced from 8 to 6. The Assumption Catholic School finally closed in 1978 due to declining enrollment although it sounds like the building was still used for religious classes for some time after that.

As I mentioned, the building stands just south of the Shelton interchange on I-80, right between the interstate and the Platte River. I used to drive that road a lot when I was going to school in Hastings and I wondered why I didn’t remember the building. Being such a grand structure I’m sure I would have noticed it. I discovered that the Assumption School was moved to this site in 1998, which answered that question. It was the oldest standing school building in Adams County before being moved to its present location in Buffalo County.

It was fun visiting this old building and getting a few pictures and I learned a little bit about Nebraska history in the process, always a good thing. You just never know what you’ll come across while driving around some of the back roads.

The Future of Nebraska Football

There is a lot of talk going around about the University of Nebraska leaving the Big 12 athletic conference and joining the Big 10. I’ve spent quite a bit of time today reading dozens of news articles on the internet trying to find out just exactly what is going on. From what I have read, it seems like nobody really knows anything right now.

In trying to sort through all the rumours and speculation, I’ve drilled down to two basic facts: 1) The Big 10 conference is looking to expand by adding one or more schools to its roster, and Nebraska has been named as a likely candidate. 2) The University of Nebraska’s Board of Regents is currently discussing the possibility of a conference shift. Other than that, nothing is certain, although it sounds like there could be a decision from Nebraska as early as this Friday.

Now, on to the rumours and speculations. Of all the articles I’ve read, whether news or opinion, most seem to agree that if Nebraska jumps ship, the entire Big 12 conference will dissolve. There are a variety of reasons why that might happen, but the prevailing theory is that with Nebraska gone, the Big 12 will become too weak to compete on a national level and the other schools will look for better deals as well. In fact, it sounds like the Pac 10 conference is already seriously courting the entire Big 12 south division.

Basically, it sounds like the Big 12 will cease to exist, with all twelve schools being absorbed into other conferences. Nebraska and Missouri are expected to join the Big 10. The Pac 10 will pick up six other schools: Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and either Colorado or Baylor. It sounds like Colorado is the more likely candidate for the Pac 10, but there is a rumour that Texas is creating legislature to keep all four Texas schools together. If they go with Colorado, Baylor may get left out in the cold. After all that, there is a possibility of the Mountain West conference, which I have never even heard of, picking up Kansas, Kansas State, and Iowa State. If the Pac 10 chooses Baylor over Colorado, then CU may also go to the Mountain West.

So why is all this happening? Partly for security. Much as I hate to admit it, Texas is a national powerhouse in college football. If Texas leaves the conference, the old Big 8 schools may be left in the lurch. It would be better for Nebraska to get out before that happens, especially while there is a very good offer on the table. As you may have already guessed, money is a major factor. They are saying that in the Big 10, UNL television revenues could increase by as much as 20 million dollars per year.

I’ll be honest with you, I’m not real fond of change, especially on such a large scale. Football is a pretty big deal in Nebraska, as it is in many states. I’ve spent my whole life watching Nebraska play against Oklahoma and Kansas State and Colorado. Especially Oklahoma. Football fans all over the country are aware of the rivalry between NU and OU. If all this happens, it's likely that the two teams will never meet on the field again. Things are always getting bigger. During my years at UPS, I witnessed first-hand how little companies get swallowed up by big companies. Mom and Pop stores get overrun by national chains, and little football conferences get absorbed into larger super-conferences. It’s just sad sometimes. This world is no place for nostalgics like me, I guess.

Well, at any rate, it doesn’t sound like we’ll have to speculate much longer. There should be some concrete news on this by the weekend. In the meantime, I better start learning what schools are in the Big 10 conference!

Psalms 102:26-27 They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end.

Wind

It’s windy. Not just windy, very windy. Stupendously windy, fantastically windy, remarkably windy, and extra-ordinarily windy. It's so windy the tornados have gone vacationing to South America. It's so windy the hurricanes are jealous. Tempests envy the brute gale force of Nebraska.

When you are driving down the road and you open the window a crack, you know how loud the wind can be. Imagine that in reverse, you are standing still and the whole world is roaring past you at fifty miles per hour. Now imagine that going non-stop for three days. I wonder where all that wind can come from. There must be giant vacuums opening up in Mexico because all of their air is being sucked into Nebraska. Maybe it’s the other way around, maybe the vacuum is in Canada.

I tell people that I don’t know what they have done with the Nebraska that I left so many years ago, and they say it has always been this way. They are wrong. The Nebraska I remember was timeless and unmoving, not this rushing, howling lunacy. I fear that the men in the white coats will come soon to take this Nebraska away. Or maybe I desire it. So easily can you forget that the world can be still and quiet.

The wind roars like a lion and howls like a coyote. It whistles like a boiling tea-kettle and moans like a restless spirit. Trees creak, shingles flap, and barn doors crack like the first shot of hunting season. The power lines are a gospel choir ushering in doomsday. Neighbors shout to be heard over the tumult and they sound miles away. If they shouted at you from upwind, their voices would slap you in the face like an angry mother.

The wind thunders across the plains like a herd of startled buffalo. It gallops to and fro like unbroken horses, crossing the earth in great strides. It is swifter than deer and quicker than hares. It mocks the birds, shoving them aside thoughtlessly.

Outside we are buffeted by the wind; inside we are buffeted by the sound of the wind. The wind is an uproar; a cacophony of howling, moaning ghosts; God's own bellows unleashed. Wind like this could drive a person mad.

Patrick Swayze and Bette Midler never knew wind like this. Benjamin Franklin would have stayed indoors in such a gale. Winds this ferocious would have kept Odysseus at sea for another twenty years.

The wind is endless, tireless, pitiless, bottomless. It is inexhaustible, incomprehensible, inconceivable, and incredible. The wind is unending, unceasing, unyeilding, unrelenting. It is forever, eternal, constant and infinite.

Other than that, life is pretty good.

John 3:8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

Genesis 8:1 But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.

Matthew 14:30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Journal - News, Weather, and Sports

Yesterday, I called my case worker, Cindy, at Health and Human Services with a few questions. First I asked about the new health bill and how that might effect the Medicaid program. She said there have been no changes. Apparently even though President Obama signed the bill, it’s till kind of up in the air as to what will happen. Also, most of the changes that are supposed to be implemented won't take effect until 2014.

Last week, when BCBS denied me they suggested something called CHIPS. I told them I never really liked that show very much. Just kidding, Chips is some kind of insurance program but I thought it was specifically for children. I asked Cindy about it and she said there are two programs called Chips. The one BCBS was talking about is actually handled by BCBS and it’s for people who can’t get insurance. The drawback is that it usually has very high premiums. I was kind of planning on that anyway so I guess I will look into that further and see what happens. Unfortunately, that means I have to contact my arch enemies, BCBS, again.

The third thing I asked about was Medicare. I had heard recently that when you become eligible for Medicare you have to pay a hundred dollars a month for it in the form of a deduction from your social security. That isn’t necessarily true, however. Any amount you have to pay for Medicare is based on your income. She said that my income is below the maximum so I won’t have to pay anything for it. I still have another year before I am eligible, though. I forgot to ask her if that is the same in every state.

Last Thursday, I filled out an application online to renew our food stamps since they are getting ready to run out. They don’t call it food stamps anymore. Now it’s called SNAP. Supplemental Nutritional Aid Program or something like that. Isn’t it funny how we always try to put fancy names on things? I guess the name “food stamps” is kind of outdated, though. These days they give you a debit card and each month they just deposit more credit to your account. We’re getting closer to that cashless society every day. Anyway, since I called Cindy yesterday, she went ahead and went over the application and asked what she needed to ask about that to finalize it. It was all so easy. I can’t help but think how much trouble I had with that same system in Dallas.

The weather is shaping up very nicely here in Nebraska. Our temps have been in the sixties and are starting to push into the seventies now. Unfortunately, spring in Nebraska means wind. I remember when we moved up here at the end of April last year. We had some pretty powerful wind storms in those first few weeks. Those were kind of scary but our house proved to be very strong. It isn’t insulated very well, but it's solid.

I was a little sad last night. If the Huskers had won their basketball game Sunday, they would have been playing Oklahoma last night. I was looking forward to that game, but instead Oklahoma played Kentucky. Oklahoma won, so the last four teams in the tournament are Oklahoma, Connecticut, Baylor, and Stanford. Connecticut is the clear favorite. They are the returning champions and have won every game for the last two years. Maybe Baylor will knock them off in the championship game.

Well, that’s all the updates I have for now. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars. Bonus points to whoever can tell me where that phrase came from.

2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

Job 11:18 You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Churches pt 2

Now then where was I? Oh yes, Grace church. Yes, we liked Grace church quite a lot. Grace was unlike any church I had ever been to before, not that I had been to a lot. These people were very enthusiastic about praising God. There was loud music played by a band, people would raise their arms into the air while they sang, and some people would even dance in the aisles. On our first visit to Grace, I remember thinking “I can’t go to church here, these people are nuts!” For me, church had always been a rather sombre affair. In church you were expected to sit still and keep quiet, and the music was supposed to be something you might hear at a funeral. This was very different. I had to force myself to pay close attention to everything that was going on. By the time that first worship service ended, I had discovered that it wasn’t so different after all. They preached from the same bible other churches use, and the sermon itself was very much like other sermons I had heard, although the pastor was much more emphatic than I was used to. Incidentally, the first sermon we heard at Grace was all about change. Coincidence? No, the only thing that was different about this church, was that the people were enthusiastic. They were actually excited about praising the Lord. Once I got over my initial shock, I began to realize how right that felt.

After three or four months, however, I began to notice some things that I was not sure about. They practiced speaking in tongues, which I didn't really notice at first. I had never encountered this before and didn't know what to make of it. I emailed both the pastor and the associate pastor with some questions. I couldn't really get a straight answer from either of them, although the pastor said he had done a series of sermons about that and I could get a CD copy at the church bookstore for twenty dollars. That bothered me a lot more than the tongues did. I kind of agonized over that for a while because we had really been enjoying the church. I remember talking to my sister about it and her advice was, “if it’s good for Adam, you should really consider sticking with it.” Well, she was right. Adam was excited about going each week and Joni and I were still getting something out of it too, so we stayed. Soon after that, God took the decision out of our hands anyway, as He so often does.

We began attending Grace in November of 2008, but only stayed until April of 2009. I didn’t agree with all of their practices and customs, but at Grace, I learned that it’s okay to be enthusiastic about praising God, that it’s okay to clap your hands in church and shout “Amen!" if you hear something you like. That was an important step in our spiritual growth, and God picked the perfect church for us. If God had sent us to Grace church first, I don’t think we would have been ready for it, that’s why we had to spend some time at UCC first, to prepare us for the next step.

That was when God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So to Nebraska we came. We took a couple of weeks to settle in before beginning our search for a new church. In the meantime, we visited my old Baptist church, where my mother and sister still attend regularly. It was great coming home to the old church and hearing all the familiar voices, but we knew we wouldn’t be attending there regularly. It is very much a traditional church and we had become accustomed to the contemporary. After we had settled into our new home, we began our search.

The first church we visited was another Baptist church. It was a blend of the traditional and the contemporary. The pastor gave a pretty good sermon, but brr! It was chilly in there, and I don’t mean the temperature. The second church was better, the people were friendly, but we just weren’t sure. We decided to look a little further.

Our third try was a success. At the Evangelical Free church in Kearney, we found Friendly people, powerful sermons, and a strong commitment to youth. More importantly, it just felt right. On our second or third Sunday, the pastor announced that they would be expanding the church by building a larger sanctuary. I think any church that can do that in these economic times must be doing something right, but I don’t feel funny about the money issue there like I did at Grace. Nine months later, all three of us are still enjoying it very much.

It is clear to me that God had our growth and progress carefully mapped out. Each step of the journey, each church we have attended, has played an important part of that growth. If we had tried to go our own way or follow our own plan, I’m sure we would have bungled it quite badly. How reassuring it is to kno that God is there, guiding us and directing our path.

Well, that was a much longer story than I thought it would be! If you made it all the way through, thank you! If you happen to be looking for a church yourself, try not to fret about it too much, okay? God will lead you to the right one. And if you start to feel a little restless in your present church, give it some thought and prayer. God might be telling you that it's time for the next step.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Psalms 98:4-6 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; make music to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn, shout for joy before the LORD, the King.

News - Olympic Gold

Most of you probably know by now that the U S bobsled team won the gold medal just a few days ago at the Olympics in Vancouver, Canada. If you haven’t heard this yet, you must have been hiding under a rock; it's pretty big news. I must confess that I don't typically pay a lot of attention to the olympics, I've mentioned before that football is really the only sport I care about, and this year was no different. The U S bobsled team caught my attention this year for a couple of reasons, aside from winning the gold medal, I mean.

The captain and driver of the team, Steven Holcomb, was born in Park City Utah. He began as a downhill skier, an event he competed in for eight years before switching to the bobsled. What interests me about Holcomb, is that he suffered from keratoconus, the condition that began my eye problems fifteen years ago. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll recall that keratoconus affects the cornea of the eye, making it cone shaped instead of round which seriously deteriorates vision. Holcomb’s vision was 20/500 which almost caused him to retire from the bobsled team in 2007. Instead of letting him quit, his coach found a doctor to perform a special surgery on Holcomb. The surgery had not been approved by the FDA yet and involved implanting lenses behind the iris of the eye. After the surgery, Holcomb’s vision was 20/20. The doctor who performed the surgery was also a retired bobsledder.

Also on the team is Curt Tomasevicz. Hope I spelled that right. Curt is a native of Shelby, Nebraska. He went to college at the University in Lincoln and is a former Huskers football player. I was listening to the basketball game, which they won 77 to 52, Wednsday night, Nebraska vs Kansas, and Tomasevicz was there, wearing his gold medal according to the announcer. When they announced that he was there, the large crowd gave him an enthusiastic cheer. That’s one thing I love about being a Nebraskan. There just aren’t that many celebrities out there who are native Nebraskans. When we do get one, it makes it all the more special.

The other two members of the team are Justin Olsen from San Antonio, Texas, and Steve Mesler who was born in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Let us not forget their contribution to the first U S bobsled team to win an Olympic gold medal since 1948. Apparently Germany has dominated the sport for several decades. It’s a proud moment in American history, and a proud day for Nebraskans as well.

2 Timothy 2:5 Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Helping Myself

So, I recently talked about the old saying “the Lord helps those who help themselves." Like I said, that topic has been on my heart for quite a while now. I guess the reasons for that should be fairly obvious for anyone who has been following my blog, but I’m going to talk about it anyway.

I lost my eyesight very gradually, over a period of several years. In September of 2008 I lost my job. That seemed like a devastating blow at the time, but honestly, I couldn’t have kept it up much longer anyway; I was really struggling with it by then. I immediately started applying to various government agencies, including social security, for assistance.

My social security claim was approved reasonably quickly, and our application for food stamps went through with no problem. In addition to that, the Lord moved several members of my family to help us as well. All of our most basic needs were taken care of.

What I really had trouble with, was getting some type of medical coverage. Like I said, my social security claim was approved pretty fast, but there was still a six month waiting period before benefits would begin. In the meantime, I was receiving SSI, or Supplemental Security Income. While I was on SSI, I automatically qualified for Medicaid. I couldn’t get any surgery done on my eyes at this time, though, because I was still having trouble with infections. When my social security disability payments finally began in March 2009, they cancelled my medicaid with very little notice. I hadn't been aware that was going to happen.

So I started making phone calls. For several weeks, I tried to find out if I could still qualify for Medicaid, all to no avail. I just couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone. I talked to lots of different agencies and all they could tell me was “we don’t handle that.” I did find out that there are lots of different kinds of Medicaid, and that they are all handled by different agencies, but I was never able to find the correct agency for my situation. The only thing I found out for sure, was that I could not get medicare until I had been disabled for two years.

That was all back in Texas, when I lived just north of Dallas. Not a good place to be if you’re down on your luck. There are so many people looking for help, their system has become completely bogged down. I suppose it’s the same in any large city. Anyway, in April, God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So we packed up our things and, on April 26th, moved North. It was sad to leave my home of the last eight years, and it was scary leaving my eye doctor, who had been caring for my eyes almost that entire time, and who I trusted completely, but I had high hopes of being able to get more help in a less populated area.

We took a couple of weeks to settle into our new home, and then I began making phone calls again. I noticed a difference right away, I could actually reach people on the phone here and get straight answers from them. Unfortunately, the answer was still no. My social security payments, not quite enough to pay our bills, were too high for me to qualify for Medicaid. We did get food stamps though, again with no trouble at all.

Naturally, that was discouraging, but I didn’t get as discouraged as you might think. It was clear to me, that God was telling me to wait. There was really no other conclusion I could draw from this. Take a look at what happened, God provided us with everything we needed. All of our basic necessities, namely food and shelter, came to us very easily. When God decided to bring us to Nebraska, he sent my brother and his family to help us move. He helped Mom find us a great house to live in at a very reasonable cost. A house that has carried us through some very harsh storms, I might add. When we first arrived here, there were boxes of food and an envelope full of money waiting for us, all donated by Mom’s church, the church I had attended as a child. Everything we needed came to us.

I really wanted some medical coverage, though, so I could get surgery, and I would be able to see again. I tried and tried, but it just never worked out. That’s because God wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. He will always provide the things we need, but not necessarily the things we THINK we need. Our needs and God’s needs can be very different sometimes.

I still get impatient sometimes, and try to take matters into my own hands. Sevral months ago, I applied for a private insurance plan from State Farm, only to be denied once again. Too many pre-existing conditions. Even now, as I write this, I have an application in with BCBS and am waiting to hear back from them. If God is ready for this to happen, then they will approve my application. If not, then I will wait. I try to be strong and have patience, but I’m only human and I have my moments of weakness.

“The Lord helps those who help themselves?” Absolutely. I am helping myself by putting my faith in Him and trusting Him to fulfill his promises to me. He never promised to restore my eyesight, but He did promise to take care of me, as long as I have faith, and that’s good enough for me.

Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Journal - Nothing Special

Well, there really hasn't been much going on, but I’m going to try to do a little writing today anyway. I was kind of enjoying all the blogging I did in December, so maybe I can get something jump-started here. Nothing very exciting, I’m afraid, but there are a few things I wanted to note for the record.

I haven’t heard anything new from BCBS about the insurance. They called a couple of weeks ago to let me know they were forwarding my application to the underwriters for approval. Another BCBS agent keeps calling me to see if I want to add any dental or cancer coverage to the policy. I probably will need to, my monthly cost has to be $256 a month, but I won’t know how much I need until I find out exactly how much the medical part will be. I hate all this waiting, but I know God wants us to have patience and allow Him to do things in His own time. I’m trying!

People keep telling me that this has been the coldest and snowiest winter Nebraska has had in a long time. Thanks a lot people! We had those two blizzards toward the end of December, and none of the snow has melted away yet. We’ve had lots of sub-zero temperatures, with wind chills as low as thirty below. Then we had another little storm last Wednesday. Not much snowfall this time, but lots of wind that made new drifts. Sounds like the snow will be here for a while, it’s not expected to go above freezing at least for the next week.

Wednesday morning, just before the worst of the storm began, Joni and I went to the courthouse in Minden to get our I D’s switched over to Nebraska. We still had our Texas ones. We’ve been putting that off for several months so I’m glad to have it done. One less thing hanging over our heads. Still have to get the truck registered though, and get our Nebraska license plates. Probably won't do that until February, though, it cost $56 to get our I D's.

Last week, my mp3 player quit working. Not good! That’s what I use to listen to audio books, and without it I am lost. Luckily, the prices have gone down a lot on those lately and I got a new one for $40. It has twice as much storage as my old one, too. My new one has an fm radio, like most others, but I can actually switch back and forth between the radio and the player. I never quite figured out how to do that on my old one.

And speaking of radio, I was flipping through the stations the other day and came across the local oldies station, KKPR. I heard Hall & Oates and John Cougar Mellencamp. The oldies station is playing music that was popular when I was in school. Those are not oldies and I am not old! Well, at least they have the decency to call them “classic hits” instead of coming right out and calling them “oldies."

Let’s see, what else? I think that’s everything I wanted to mention. I think I might be going stir crazy. I don’t like going out in the snow, it’s so hard to get your footing when you can't see the shape of the ground, or the snow that’s piled on it.

Okay, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you later, okay?

Romans 5:3-4 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

Romans 8:25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Journal - Year End

Well, the excitement of the holidays is subsiding, and just as I expected, I have nothing to write about. Or maybe I just haven’t been in the mood. I’m really not in the mood even now as I sit here typing, but I want the record to show what’s been going on the last few days. This probably won' be very interesting to anyone other than myself, just your basic "did this, saw that" kind of stuff.

We were supposed to go to my brother, Brad’s, house for Christmas, but we got another blizzard on Christmas Eve and got snowed in. That was okay, I kind of like spending Christmas at home. Since we had planned on being at Brad's for dinner, we hadn't bought anything to make a dinner of our own. Luckily, we had the ham and all that other food that the church gave us, so we had a nice ham dinner for Christmas. Okay, I guess luck didn't really have anything to do with it. It was just God looking out for us again. The three of us had a nice day. It's fun being snowed in when you don't have to worry about getting to work and stuff.

On Saturday, we were still snowed in because we live on a farm and there's no one to clean our driveway. We had some pretty big snow drifts. We really wanted to be able to get out on Sunday though, so Joni and I got in the Explorer and basically bashed our way through the drifts until we were out. We drove in and out of the driveway about six times to make sure we had a good path through the snow.

Sunday was Adam’s fourteenth birthday. He had mentioned that he would really like it if Brenna could come over for a while to have cake and ice cream with us. Apparently he likes having a sister. So we went to church Sunday morning, then picked up Brenna and we all had lunch at Runza. If you don’t live in Nebraska, you probably don’t know what Runza is and I pity you. After lunch, we went to Mom’s house for a little while. She made Adam’s favorite, a jello poke cake. Our plan after that was to come back home for more cake and just hang out for a while. We were supposed to meet Brenna's grandparents in Minden at five o'clock so they could take her home. But, well, we got stuck in the driveway as soon as we pulled in. Joni and I dug with the snow shovel for a while, which did absolutely no good because the snow was all packed up under the truck, until finally, one of our neighbors drove by. He saw we were having trouble and stopped to lend a hand. He had a tow chain and had us out of that drift in no time. By then it was time to go drop off Brenna, but she and Adam had a good time. They seem to get along really well with each other. They can just sit and jabber back and forth at each other, then 45 minutes later you come back and they’re still jabbering at each other. Anyway, Adam had a nice birthday, and I had a good day too even though we got stuck. This was the first time I got to spend some time with Brenna without a lot of people around and I discovered that she’s pretty funny. I also found out she has double-jointed thumbs just like me.

There hasn’t been much excitement this week. I have some sore muscles in my shoulders and back from shoveling snow, but I still got on the exercise bike. I haven’t been on it for a couple of weeks and decided it’s time to get back in the habit. Last week, Joni and I filled out that application for the BCBS insurance and mailed it in. This week they called and said they are forwarding it to the underwriters. That’s encouraging in a way because at least they didn’t just reject me offhand the way Aetna did. This morning I had an appointment with an eye doctor that the Commission for the Blind set up for me. There wasn't much point to it, except I found out there’s no infection in my left eye. That kind of surprised me and I was a little encouraged by that. Then we went to Brad’s for lunch. That was our Christmas make-up since everybody was snowed in.

So that’s what’s been going on. It’s the end of the year, and I feel like I should write something deep and meaningful, but it’s just not happening today. I’m not all sad and depressed anymore, like I was at Christmas, I’m just not in the mood to write. It has been an eventful year, I'll say that much. And I’m looking forward to the challenges that the new year will bring. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I’m still hoping that I’ll be able to see again by next Christmas. If you’re listening, Santa, that’s all I want next year, and don't feel like you have to wait until December to deliver.

To you, faithful reader, I wish nothing but happiness and prosperity for you in the new year, and remember, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.

Happy New Year 2010!

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Memories - Thanksgiving

Well, Thanksgiving is almost here again. What does Thanksgiving make me think of? Food, of course! But more importantly it makes me think of family. As with most families, Thanksgiving for us was about getting together to enjoy good food and good company.

My parents split up when I was 9 and the arrangement we had was Thanksgiving with Dad, Christmas with Mom. I was young enough when this tradition began that it always seemed perfectly natural to me. As a matter of fact, I honestly can’t remember any Thanksgivings before that. I have no idea what we did when my parents were still married.

So we always gathered at Grandma Brandt’s house. She always did all the cooking herself. I don’t think she would have trusted anyone else in her kitchen. Uncle Gary and Aunt Ellen would always come from Des Moines, along with our three cousins Jeff, Greg, and Eric. That was kind of special in itself because Uncle Gary and family only came to visit twice a year.

Those are good memories. The house would smell so good and there would be so many people around. Then after dinner we could go out and show our cousins around the farm. I remember one year we found a lump of some kind of chalky stuff and we used it to write all over an old shed. Then Grandpa Meril Dean saw it and made us clean it off. That was the same Grandpa that got after us for making paths through the corn. What a fuddy-duddy!

Inevitably, there came a year when Grandma said she just couldn’t do all that cooking anymore. I don’t blame her, I know how much work that is, but Thanksgiving just never felt the same after that. Instead of our home-cooked feasts, we started going out for Thanksgiving dinner. And it wasn’t long after that when Uncle Gary stopped coming. His boys were grown and they had gatherings of their own to attend.

We still had our time together with Dad and Grandma and Grandpa though. That tradition held until the mid 90’s. Grandpa died in 1992 and Dad in 1995. And us kids were grown by then too. Brad had a family of his own, and Bobbi had her family out on the east coast. Kevin was who-knows-where by then. That was around the time that I moved away too. It’s a little sad when traditions end and families grow and spread out, but that’s the natural order of things.

After that, our Thanksgivings were catch-as-catch-can. You were never really sure who might show up on any given year. In 2003, Joni and Adam came to live with me and all the sudden I had a family of my own. For the next six years we had quiet gatherings in our little apartment in Dallas. I always missed my family back home, just as Joni missed hers, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the quieter atmosphere and the beginning of a new tradition.

Now here I am back in Nebraska again, and it looks like Thanksgiving this year is going to be something really special. This year marks the first time that my three siblings and I will all be together at the same time since about 1987. I'm only guessing here, but I think Mom is kind of excited about that. I find that I’m a little excited about it too. My daughter, Brenna, will be coming so not only will us four kids be there, but also all of the grandkids; about 10 in all I think. That will be quite a crowd!

That will be on Wednesday since that was the only day we could all get together. On Thanksgiving day, Brad and family go to His mother-in-law’s, and Joni and I have decided to have our traditional quiet gathering here at the house. I find that I am looking forward to both gatherings with equal anticipation.

Traditions are so important in this crazy, ever-changing world we live in. They give us a sense of belonging; something to come home to. I said earlier that it’s sad when traditions end, but maybe they don’t really end. Maybe they just grow and evolve, like our families. The gatherings I am looking forward to this week will involve very different groups of people than the gatherings of my childhood, but it's still family, and it's still Thanksgiving. I will enjoy it while it lasts and look forward to future holidays, whatever shape they may take.

Thanks for reading today. I hope you enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving tradition with your own family this year. And if you don’t have a tradition, it’s never too late to start a new one.

Jeremiah 30:19 And out of them shall proceed thanksgiving and the voice of them that make merry: and I will multiply them, and they shall not be few; I shall also glorify them and they shall not be small.

About Brenna

I’ve been completely blind for about five months now, and mostly blind for a couple of years. For the most part, I think I’ve been okay with that. Sure, there are times when I start to feel sorry for myself; times when I feel depressed or angry, but I always remind myself that there are much worse things that can happen to a person than going blind. But last Thursday, being blind really sucked.

I haven’t talked much about Brenna. I guess that's because I'm ashamed of myself. This is a big part of my spiritual growth, though, so I guess it's time.

A while back, I mentioned that shortly after my dad died, I got a girl pregnant and then ran off to the city. Clever how I glossed that over wasn’t it? I ran away because I felt like I had made a pretty huge mistake. I was too selfish and immature to take responsibility for a child, so off I went.

Brenna was born in April of 1997 and I had absolutely nothing to do with her other than paying my child support. Don’t think too highly of me for that, the only reason I paid was because I had to. There was a brief period when Brenna was about 2 years old when I saw her a couple of times, but again, I only did that because I felt like I had to. I knew my family wasn’t very happy with me so I tried to fake it. It was only a couple of visits though, and I gave up on it.

That went on until about a year ago. By then I had finally started listening to God and things began to look a lot different. Notice how I said “I began listening to God.” He had been talking to me all along, urging me to do the right thing, I just wasn’t listening.

So, last year, Brenna and I started exchanging emails. Emails were a good first step for us. Brenna’s mom had told me that Brenna wasn’t ready for phone calls yet, and that was okay with me because personally, I hate talking on the phone. Also, Joni, Adam, and I were still living in Dallas so visits just weren't an option yet.

Do you think that was good enough for God? Nope! In April, we just couldn’t afford to live in the city anymore, so back home to Nebraska we came. Convenient huh? Well, I was still dragging my feet. I was too scared to call Brenna on the phone, and by then my eyesight was far enough gone that I couldn’t use the computer anymore.

So God gave up and threw in the towel. HA HA HA no way! Instead, he had the lady from the Commission for the Blind give me a screen-reader program called JAWS. So the emails started up again, although now it was mostly with Brenna’s mom because Brenna was starting to lose interest in emailing. Kids these days. Long story short, last week I got an email inviting me to a school concert that Brenna was performing in.

When I was in school, I played in the band. I wasn’t much of an athlete or anything, so the band was really all I had. Also, I was pretty good at it and was proud of my accomplishments. But my dad never came to see me play. And now that he's gone, this is what I remember. That was when it really struck home.

Joni and I talked it over. I really wanted to be there, but I knew it would be hard for Joni too, meeting my daughter and my ex-girlfriend all in the same day. She knew it was important to me though, and agreed to take me.

Well, the concert was great! It wasn’t a band concert, but some different choir groups. Granted, I couldn’t pick out Brenna’s voice from the others, and I couldn’t even see her, but it felt good to be there. Mind you, we still hadn’t met, but Joni was able to pick out Brenna because she was running around with a friend who was introducing Brenna to her parents before the concert began.

When the concert was over, we exited the auditorium to see if we could find Brenna. We didn't have to look far, she was right outside the door, waiting for us. I was so nervous and just didn't know what to do, so I tried to shake her hand. She ignored that and gave me a hug. She was much braver than me! And also much taller than I expected! She’s only 12 years old, and already 5’ 6”!

Brenna led us over to where her mom was waiting and we all talked for a few minutes. We didn't stay very long though because I didn't want to totally freak her out. Actually I think I was much more freaked out than she was. Before we left, she gave me another big hug and said that she loved me. I wouldn’t have blamed her for being angry with me and chewing me out, but she was so sweet that it almost broke my heart.

Well, anyway, I never wanted to see so badly as I did that night. I wonder what she looks like. Does she look like me at all? I’ll have to wait to find out. In the meantime all I can do is be there for her as much as I can. I said earlier that I ran away because I felt like I made a mistake. Of course, now I know that my only mistake was running away. I don’t really think I can “make up for it”, but I can try to make things better going forward. With God’s help, I can.

Isaiah 50:7 For the Lord God will help me: therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

Memories; Children of the Corn

Hi there! If you’ve been to Drums In The Deep before, I’m very glad to have you back. If this is your first visit, welcome!

I think I said in an earlier post that I wasn’t going to bore you with long descriptions of life in the Midwest, but I’ve changed my mind. “Captain’s Prerogative” as Jean-Luc Picard would say. Being back home here in Nebraska has left me feeling kind of nostalgic so I thought I would explore that a little bit.

When I was a child, during the mid 1970’s this was, we had to be a little more creative in our entertainment than kids today. The internet was still 20 years away. Computers had already been invented, of course, but the smallest model would have been roughly the size of the house my family lived in. Heck, the Atari game system wasn’t even around yet. Also, we lived “in the country” which meant that during summer vacation we rarely, if ever, saw our friends from school. No, it was pretty much just my three siblings and me.

We had fun though, don’t get me wrong. When you live on a farm there are always things to explore and fun places to play. The thing I remember most about those long summers is the corn.

The house we grew up in was bordered closely on two sides by cornfields. In the spring and early summer Dad would always be in the field, driving his tractor up and down the long rows. Planting, cultivating, ridging, spraying: I can’t imagine the hours he must have spent out there.

Sometimes when Dad was working in the field, Mom would be in the kitchen baking chocolate-chip cookies. Dad liked them without the chips, what a weirdo. She would bake him some plain ones before adding the chocolate, put them in a container, and send me outside with them. I would stand at the edge of our yard, right where it bordered the cornfield, and wait for the tractor to pass by. When it did, I would walk out to meet it. Dad would stop the tractor and help me up into the cab so I could give him his cookies. Then he would let me sit on his lap for a while and steer the tractor. Not that there was much steering to do. I got to hold onto the wheel though, and that was pretty darn cool.

By late June or so, the tractor work would be done and there was nothing to do but watch the corn grow. Corn grows pretty fast and it also grows pretty tall. If you’ve never been up close to a cornfield you may not realize that the stalks can grow to a height of seven feet or more. To a kid of 6 or 7 years, that is an awesome height. Once the corn was over our heads, the real fun would begin.

There would be endless games of tag, or hide-and-seek out in the corn. We would trample a few stalks down here and there to make paths and mazes to play in. Until Grandpa found out, that is. He was not impressed. It’s hard for me to put into words what a magical place that was to play in. Wonderful and a little scary all at the same time. Secretive and exciting. What if we got lost out there someday and couldn’t find our way back to the yard? Being the youngest, that probably bothered me more than the older kids. But I always felt safe with my brothers and sister.

Well, the impossibly long summers always managed to end very abruptly, and then it was time to go back to school. As September faded into October, the corn would gradually ripen and begin to turn dry and brown. Then one day we would come home from school and the combine would be making its rounds, slowly gobbling up the corn.

Those golden days of late October stand out so clearly in my mind. Watching Dad drive the combine back and forth across the field, stopping occasionally to dump the picked and shelled corn into one of the trucks. And how strange to see the old trucks moving around! All year they just sat there like museum relics, and now they were moving around; lumbering dinosaur skeletons suddenly come to life!

Before we knew it, the corn was all gone and there was nothing left but empty husks and chaff blowing up into the yard. That was a little sad, but also kind of new and exciting. After being boxed in by the corn all those months, suddenly we could see for miles in every direction. Like the whole world had been opened up to us. So long corn, see you next summer.

Those were the good old days. My family was not well off, we didn’t have much in the way of material possessions, but somehow that never bothered us. We had each other and that was enough. I have a family of my own now, and how I long to give them the kind of life I had. It’s not within my means to give this to them, but you know what? We have each other, and that’s enough.

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Matthew 9:37-38 Then saith He unto His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Pray ye, therefore, the Lord of the harvest, that He will send forth laborers into His harvest.”

Going Blind pt 3

Okay, let’s see if I can wrap this up. If you’ve been following along, you’ll remember that last time I had finally gotten my cornea transplant and could see out of both eyes again after two years with only one eye.

So yeah, I was pretty happy about that. My vision was good in both eyes for the next year but after that it was all down hill.

I started getting infections again in my left eye. We would get one infection cleared up and I’d be okay for one or two or six months, but then another one would pop up. In the meantime, my right eye began to deteriorate. The keratoconus gradually progressed to the point where my hard contact lens didn’t really help any more. I couldn’t get surgery though because of the constant infections in my left eye.

My doctor had always said that she wouldn’t do surgery in either eye until both had been healthy for a whole year. After a couple of years she said maybe she would settle for six months. But it never happened, the infections just kept coming.

Over the next four years or so I gradually lost the vision in my right eye. The transplant in my left eye was holding up pretty good even with all the problems but then I started to develop a cataract in that eye.

Sometime during the early months of 2008 it got bad enough that I couldn’t read books anymore. Through it all I think this has been the hardest thing for me. I’ve always been an avid reader. I have since grown to love audio books and I thank God for them all the time, but I still miss reading.

In May of that year I had to give up driving. That was a big chunk of independence lost and was pretty hard to take. In September I lost my job. I couldn’t have done it much longer anyway though, I was really struggling with it. In October I was declared legally blind.

In April 2009 Joni, Adam and I moved up here to Nebraska. We couldn’t afford to live in Dallas on my social security. I had very little vision left by then but God left me just enough to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. In June I finally lost the last little bit remaining.

And now I am just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to see what God has planned for me.

I need cataract surgery in my left eye and a cornea transplant in the right. I can’t get either because I have no medical coverage. I’ve been denied again and again. I can’t get Medicaid because I make too much money and I can’t get medicare until I’ve been disabled for two years. Private insurance plans are too expensive and also I have a lot of pre-existing medical problems, not just my eye problems, but also asthma.

But that’s okay because I have God in my life now. He promised to take care of us and I believe Him. That makes the waiting much easier to bear. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again. And what a glorious day that will be! I know I still have some things to figure out before that happens though, and I am doing my best to learn them.

I think that’s what this blog is all about. God wanted me to document what’s happening so that lots of people can bear witness. So the sooner you get all your friends to read my blog, the sooner I’ll get my sight back! Ha ha! Just kidding, but that’s what it’s really all about; giving the glory to God. Putting your faith in HIM, not in doctors or surgeries or insurance policies.

So that’s how I became blind. The End…NOT! No, I still have lots of things to share with you so I hope you’ll keep coming back each week. Until next time…

Psalms 118:8 It is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man.

Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works.

My History

Hi there! If you’re reading this then I’ll assume you’ve read my first two posts. If you haven’t, you really should to give you a little background on why I created this blog. You’ll find older posts below this one. Go on, it’ll only take you a minute and I promise I won’t go on without you

All done? You’re a fast reader! Well, now that we’re all on the same page (pun intended) let’s get started!

It’s hard to know where to begin. I suppose I should tell you a little of my history. They say that if you don’t study the past you are doomed to repeat it. That is so true! It’s okay to make mistakes but if you don’t learn something from those mistakes then you’re really in trouble.

My childhood was pretty typical. I grew up on a farm in Nebraska. That almost sounds like a cliché doesn’t it? Well, I won’t bore you with long descriptions of farm life in the Midwest but there are a couple of points that bear explaining.

The two sides of my family were almost complete opposites. On Mom's side were the wholesome church-goers. On Dad’s side were the drinking and swearing farmers. I have a great deal of respect for farmers. Dad’s family were honest and hard working, but they didn’t know God. That was fine with me as a child because I didn’t know Him either.

It was Mom, however, that was in charge of raising us kids and her rule was “As long as you live in this house, you’ll go to church”. So we went to church every Sunday.

I can’t speak for my siblings here, but I only went because I had to. Church was boring and, as far as I was concerned, a waste of a morning when I could have slept in. I learned the Golden Rule, and stories like “Noah’s Ark” and “Jonah and the Whale”, but I never learned about God; about who and what He really is. That wasn’t because I had bad teachers, it was just because I didn’t care. When I was old enough to choose for myself, I quit going to church and never looked back.

After that my life was perfect and idyllic. NOT! No, during the years of my early adulthood I caused a lot of problems for myself and sometimes for other people as well. I was very bad at managing money and so I never had any. Also, I had a habit of making bad decisions. I bounced around from place to place and job to job, always struggling and fighting to pay my bills.

Now, here are the two points I would like to make.

Firstly, even when I had turned my back on God, He was still looking out for me. I never had to live on the streets, and I never went hungry (although I did live on mac ‘n’ cheese and hot dogs for a while). My basic needs were always met.

Secondly, look at my life now. I am actively seeking out God. It was my mother’s nature that won out in the end rather than my father’s. Her steadfast persistence in taking us kids to church every Sunday was eventually rewarded. As it turns out, some of that stuff penetrated my thick head after all.

Wow! You know, I never really thought of things this way until just now as I typed it. What a perfect example of how God’s nature wins out in the end.

Well, with that revelation, I think I will close for today. I hope you got as much out of this as I did! :-)

See you next time okay?