Yesterday was the third meeting in our 33-week men’s fraternity group at church. After our first two meetings I typed up our study guides along with whatever notes I made during the session and posted them here on my blog. I don’t have this week’s notes typed up yet although I will probably do that sometime in the next couple of days. Today I wanted to talk about something else.
You see, I didn’t have a very good day. I’m not really sure why, I was just in a bad mood as sometimes happens. I’ve noticed over the years that in my blog I always had a tendency to “skip over” the bad days and only talk about the good ones. I hope you didn’t get the impression that I never have bad days; I am human after all. I think I always did that partly because I really do prefer to focus on the positive and not the negative, but also partly because I, like most humans, try to put up a good front and hide what’s really going on inside. We even talked about that in one of our men’s fraternity meetings, how we hide our true selves from others, and even try to hide from God sometimes. The world that we live in teaches us that men are supposed to be tough and brave and all that. “Cowboy up!” we always say or “Take it like a man!” We are taught that feelings are a sign of weakness. Of course, God’s definition of what a man should be is far different than our own worldly definition.
Anyway, back to my bad day. I got to the church and a couple of the men that I had sort of started to connect with weren’t there yesterday. So right off the bat I was feeling a little disappointed. Then some guy I hadn’t met before sat down at my table and started eating his lunch. Our meetings are from 12 to 1pm so that guys can come on their lunch break and we are encouraged to bring a lunch if we need to, but most of the guys don’t. Anyway I had to sit through most of the hour listening to this guy eat. In case you don’t know this about me, listening to people eat or chew gum is the one thing that absolutely makes me nuts. I had a hard time paying attention to Pastor Brian and I didn’t get all the notes I wanted to. My mood didn’t improve during that hour. Of the five people that were at my table, two left right away because they thought lunches would be provided and they hadn’t brought anything. The other two left before we were quite finished, as some of the men have to be back at work. That left just me. We always have some group discussion at the end and I could have joined another table for that but I just left.
I went straight up to work after that even though I had about an hour to kill. I went up to Walmart and parked and started reading a handout Brian had given us titled “Finding Your Purpose: How to Know Why You Are Here.” That helped me feel a little better but mostly what I needed was just some time alone, which I was fortunate enough to have.
I realize that whole episode at men’s fraternity was an attack from satan. When you start doing things he doesn’t like he will always do his best to deter you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 Well, for that one hour at least, the devil devoured me. Or maybe he just got a nibble that time. Anyway, thanks to our loving God, that doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. God will always seek us out and pull us back in. That’s something else we talked about in a previous men’s fraternity meeting, that even when we try to hide ourselves from God, He will seek us out. It’s comforting to know that even when I’m too ashamed of myself to go to Him, He will come to me right where I am.
Well, that’s about it for today. I’m going to get those notes typed up and posted here soon and I also wanted to talk more about that “Finding Your Purpose” handout and how it helped me to write my purpose statement. Stay tuned.
Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. ESV
Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. ESV
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