Men's Fraternity Week 25

Men’s Fraternity
Week #25 – Letter of Honor/Tribute to Parents



Ephesians 6:2-3
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

• Honor means to prize, to fix a value upon.
• Value means to place worth, importance and usefulness on them.

The action of showing value is appreciation and respect.

Proverbs 6:20
My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.

Proverbs 23:22
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

• Placing a value on who they are, no matter what they might have done or did not do.

I. Two-fold promise that is affected by honoring parents.

1. First Promise – It affects your relationship with the Lord. “That it may go well with you…”

The actions you take toward your parents reflect your heart toward God.

Matthew 15:3-6
He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.

For Jesus, doing what was wrong in dishonoring your parents could never be linked with what was right in God’s eyes.


2. Second Promise – It affects your own life in a positive way.

Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Results of dishonoring life with parents:

Proverbs 30:11-14
There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers. There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth. There are those—how lofty are their eyes, how high their eyelids lift! There are those whose teeth are swords, whose fangs are knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, the needy from among mankind.

II. Practical Tips to Bring Honor

1. Meaningful touch
2. Spoken words of gratitude
3. Give them words of high value
4. Give them a picture of a special future

When parents grow older, they want to know we love them much more than to receive what we can buy them. One parent put it this way: ”Give me a kiss and time for my birthday. That way I don’t have to dust it.”

Personal Application/Exercise

Take the time we have left and write a “I am thankful” letter to your parents by next week.

If your parents are deceased, write a “tribute letter”. When you have your children and grandchildren together read this to them and let them know the qualities you received from your parents.

Men's Fraternity Week 24

Men’s Fraternity
Week #24 – Blessing Letter to Children/Siblings

Introduction: Letter Accountability

• How did you present your letter from last week?
• What kind of reaction did you receive?
• If you did not deliver your letter, tell your group when you plan to deliver it and how you plan to deliver it.

Proverbs 3:27-28
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

I. Family blessing hinges on 5 key elements.

1. Meaningful touch

Mark 10:13-16
And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.


2. A spoken message
• The misconception we have is that simply being present communicates blessing.
• We need to be aware how powerful the absence of spoken words can be. (Most common phrase: “I’ll tell them tomorrow.”)
Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 10:11
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

Proverbs 10:31-32
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.


3. Attach high value to the one being blessed.
• In the Hebrew the root meaning of blessing is to “bow the knee”.
• It is important that you point out the qualities and character traits not the performance.
4. Picture a special future for the one being blessed.
• Words that picture a special future are like a campfire on a dark night.
• In John 14:2-3 Jesus went to great lengths to assure the insecure disciples that they had a special future with Him.

John 14:2-3
In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.


5. Make an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.

James 2:15-16
If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?


• Mere words of blessing are not enough
• Follow through is key to conveying the truth of the blessing.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


• The better we know the bent of our child and their unique set of needs the better we will be able to give them their own unique blessing.

Dealing with Children rejecting your godly legacy.

1 Corinthians 3:8
He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.

• Parenting is about planting and watering.
• Know your purpose and work together
• Reward is based on the work done not based on who your children become.

The greatest legacy you can leave your kids is who you were as a Christ-follower. What your children do with who you were is their choice.

Personal application/exercise:

Take the time we have left and use the fill in the blanks and write your favorite memories of your oldest child or the one that may need this letter most at this time. If you have no children write it to your sibling, friend, or mentor in your life.

Sharing what you wrote: Share which person you wrote and three memories.

Deliver your letter by our next session!

Men's Fraternity Week 23

Men’s Fraternity
Week #23 – Practical Step of Manhood



Introduction:

Malachi 4:6
And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.

Four week focus:

To take action by leaving a godly legacy of faith, hope and love through the art of letter writing.

Our definition of the word “Blessing”: It is the unmerited, undeserved favor of God.

Four Biblical Principles Concerning the Blessings of God

2 Timothy 1:2-3
I am writing to Timothy, my dear son. May God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord give you grace, mercy, and peace. Timothy, I thank God for you – the God I serve with a clear conscience, just as my ancestors did. Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers.

1. We are to ask for the blessings of God.
1. His favor.
2. His power.
3. His protection.
2. We are to recognize the blessings of God.
1. Cultivate a thankful heart.
Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 1:8-9 My son, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.
3. We are to receive the blessings of God.
Three prerequisites to do this are:
1. Fear and revere God.
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
2. Trust God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.

3. Obey God.
1 Peter 1:14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance
• God wants us to give Him [trust Him with] our:
• Time
• Talent
• Treasure [money]
4. We are to give the blessings to others.
Proverbs 11:25 Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

Exercise: 15 min.
Take the time we have left and use the fill in blanks and write why you are blessed to have your wife as your wife. If you are not married, write this letter to your oldest child, a sibling, mentor, teacher, pastor, etc…

”I am blessed because…

Sharing: 5 min.
I want each of you men to share 3 reasons why you are blessed to have your wife as your wife, or sibling, friend, etc…

Before next week

By next week I want you to set up a time with your wife or whoever you wrote the letter to. If you ave the courage, take that letter and read it out loud. Then pray a prayer of blessing over the moment. See what God does in that moment.

Men's Fraternity Week 22

Men’s Fraternity
Week #22 – Forgotten Discipline of Perseverance

Introduction

Reject Passivity

Accept Responsibility

Lead Courageously

Seek the Greater Reward – God’s Reward!

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

)

[from the video we learn the following: stay focused – don’t coast – finish the race]

Four Commands

1. The First Command is to divest! Hebrews 12:1
• Divest means to “remove from” or to “strip down.”
• Sin clings closely because:
• Denial - refusing to acknowledge the reality of the situation.
• Projection - acknowledging the situation but denying responsibility for it.
• Minimization - acknowledging the reality, even the responsibility, but denying the seriousness. “It’s not that big a deal.”
• Sin will always:
• take you further than you want to go
• cost more than you want to pay
• keep you longer than you want to stay


2. The Second Command is to run! Hebrews 12:1
[The command to run indicates that we must take action. Endurance is patient fortitude. Gut it out! Until there is action, there is no belief or conviction.]

3 Levels of Belief
• Public belief - What we want others to believe about our convictions.
• Private belief - What we sincerely believe until we are tested. Then we give up.
• Core belief - Beliefs backed up by reality, determined by your actions. They define how you live.


3. The Third Command is to focus! Hebrews 12:2

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.


4. The Fourth Command is to consider! Hebrews 12:3
• Consider how Jesus lived.
• Instead of asking “What would Jesus do?” ask “What DID Jesus do?” The bible is filled with specific examples
• I look most like Jesus when I am falsely accused and say nothing.

”In God’s Garden of grace even broken trees bear fruit.” - Rick Warren

Discussion:

What sins easily cling or what are the weights in your life you feel you need to lay aside? Be ruthlessly honest. Why is it so hard to do this?

What does it mean to “fix our Eyes on Jesus”?

Review Hebrws 12:1-3 and discuss the responsibilities God gives you. Discuss every detail given about Christ.

Men's Fraternity Week 21

Men’s Fraternity
Week #21 - Review

Introduction

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

Hebrews 2:1
Therefore we must pay closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.

Discussion:

When your alarm goes off in the morning do you immediately shut it off and get out of bed, or do you hit the snooze button? How many times do you hit the snooze button?

• The effectiveness of the alarm is in direct correlation to how much you don’t want to hear it!
• We are going to review the journey we have taken through the 33 Series and ask ourselves – Have I pushed the snooze button?

I. Man and His Design

1. God’s call to Every Man!

Philippians 2:5-8
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped, [Rejected Passivity] but emptied himself by taking form of servant, being born in likeness of men. [Accepted Responsibility] And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. [Lead Courageously] Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name. Invest Eternally


2. Four Faces of Manhood

Acts 13:36
For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep.


• King - Righteous Energy
Proverbs 20:7
The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!

• Warrior - Courageous Energy
1 Corinthians 9:26-27
So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

• Lover - Relational Energy
1 Thessalonians 2:7-9
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.

• Friend - Connecting Energy
Proverbs 17:17; 27:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
3. Seasons

Psalms 90:12
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Transitions between stages of Life.

• Spring: 0-20 - Identity
• Summer: 20’s-30’s - Learning and Growing
• Fall: 40’s-60’s - Influence
• Winter: 60’s-beyond - Sage


4. Man and His Story

Psalms 34:4, 6
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles.

Events and Experiences that have shaped your life!


• Look back to make peace with your wounds.
• Father wound
• Mother wound
• Loneliness wound
• Heart wound
• Dealing and Healing of Wounds.


5. Man and His Traps

Jeremiah 2:13
for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

Looking deep into our heart idols in our lives and the traps we get entangled in.
• Control idol
• Significance idol
• Comfort idol


6. Answering the Alarm

Ephesians 5:14-16
Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

The way we are designed by our Creator is that we are built to live for something greater than ourselves. We are wired to outlive our life!
• Discover the Transcendent Cause – Reject passivity.
• Leverage your influence now – Accept responsibility/Lead Courageously.
• Invest for eternity - Make an eternal difference in the lives of those around you!

Discussion:

Why is it difficult for us to hear and respond to the early warning alarms God puts in our lives?

What alarms sounded off in your life through this series?

As we reviewed our 33 Journey of these past weeks, where have you seen yourself pressing the snooze in your life? What do you need to wake up instead of pressing snooze?

Men's Fraternity Week 20

Men’s Fraternity
Week #20 Comfort



Introduction:

John 4:31-35
Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.” So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.

I. Deep Idol of Comfort

• There is a hidden, yet sudden power in comfort!

1. Comfort Idol yearns for privacy, making no demands and will only do for others if it brings stability or relieves stress.


1. Selfishly introspective.
2. Constantly noncommittal.
3. Abhors anything impinging upon personl freedom.


2. Greatest nightmare for those who worship comfort is spontaneity and demands.

II. Comfort Idol’s Traps

1. The Fear of Responsibility.


• Man hides from obligation, believing that real happiness is found apart from responsibility.

2 Thessalonians 3:11
For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busy bodies.

[If we’re idle we begin to meddle, talking about how things could have been done better]


2. Trap of Consumption


• Preoccupation with consumption is a diversion, but it’s not a solution to the stressful messes around us.

Proverbs 25:27-28
It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory. A man without self control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Deuteronomy 31:20
For when I brought them into the land flowing with milk and honey, which I swore to give to their fathers, and they have eaten and are full and grown fat, they will turn to other gods and serve them, and despise me and break my covenant.


• If your “go-to” when times get hard and stressful is to consume, there’s a great chance that what is driving you is a deep comfort idol.


3. Trap of Escapes


• Rather than deal with the harshness of life or feel the pain that is part of life we create an alternate reality of escapes.

2 Peter 2:20
For if after they have escaped the defilements of the world, through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first.


• The real pleasure in life comes not in the pursuit of pleasure but in the fulfillment of responsibility.
• Deep happiness and satisfaction is NOT actually found in pursuing freedom and escape, but it is actually found in the middle of walking with God in the midst of uncomfortable, challenging times.
• ”Sin is what you do when you are not fully satisfied in God.” - John Piper

III. Replacing the Idol of COMFORT

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because he cares for you

• ”Humble” - having a teachable spirit and attitude. That is our part!
• ”Proper time He may exalt you” - God will lift us up in His proper time. That’s God’s part!
• Cast anxious moments on Him - Run to God, not to your temporary comforts. That is our part!

1 Peter 5:8-9
Be sober-minded: be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

• Sober-minded…watchful – We must be on high-alert against an enemy who is seeking to gain access to our lives.
• Adversary - the devil functions like a prosecuting attorney in our mind bringing up our failures and messes creating fear.
• Devour - means to drink or lick, the enemy wants to create fear in us so that we turn into a mess of liquid emotions.
• Resist him - Stand! Keep your focus on Christ!
• Brotherhood - the suffering you face, others are facing too! Best have each other’s back!

1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

• Suffering a little while - resilience in the midst of difficulty only lasts a little while. At the moment it feels like forever but compared to eternity it is a little while.
• God’s Grace is sufficient - God is the ________ of all spiritual comfort and help for every ________.
• Restore, confirm, strengthen, establish - That is God’s complete work in our lives.

If we are not fulfilled and secure in God, we will inevitably seek other sources of happiness and security.

Discussion:
Which traps are you most prone to find yourself in during stressful or difficult times: Fear of responsibility, trap of consumption, trap of escapism?

Sometimes we seek the idol of comfort because we lack overarching purpose in life or because of the pain of adversity. Do you agree? How have you seen this in your life?

In what sense can pleasure and comfort be an idol?

What is your “Comfort zone” that you struggle getting out of?

In Psalms 16:7-11, what is the Psalmist’s attitude towards pleasure?

Men's Fraternity Week 19

Men’s Fraternity
Week #19 Significance



Introduction:

• We have talked about daily battles worth fighting, we have talked about who or what we’re giving our life to:
• Who or what we are worshipping.
• Who or what we are letting define us.
• Who or what we are serving.

I. Deep Idol of Significance

Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Lie of Significance – if a certain person, a certain social group or colleagues in my profession… If they find me worthy of attention or love, if they acknowledge my value… then I am significant.

[How often do we base our decisions on what others will think of us?]

• Idol of Significance feeds on the opinions of others.
• We care more about what people think than what God thinks.

When people give affirmation or feedback, which is a good thing, but then they become the greatest things when we cross the line of the Significance Idol.

”Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, cleverer, or better looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, clever, or good looking there would be nothing to be proud about.” C.S. Lewis

II. The Traps With the Idol of Significance

• Approval trap.
• Recognition trap.
• Relationship trap.


1. Approval Trap


• In Biblical terms it’s called “The Fear of Man.”
• Driven by fear and becoming overly concerned with disappointing or upsetting people.

[Find significance in your actions, not in the approval you get from them.]

Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.


• Turning to others for what only God can provide is a direct result of accepting Satan’s trap:

Significance = performance + other’s opinions


• The lie of being approved by others to feel good about myself causes me to fear rejection and then conforming our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others.

Acts 20:24
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

Key questions to consider:< br />

• Does the thought of disappointing people effect your peace and contentment?
• Do you have a tendency to avoid telling people what you really think?
• Are you hypersensitive to criticism and you either are crushed or you seek to crush the one who said it?

Approval trap is fueled by the “steroid” to prove yourself!


2. Recognition Trap
• The trap is based on pride and hungers for admiration and fame.
• Being recognized can be a good thing, but it becomes toxic when it becomes the greatest thing.
2 Corinthians 10:12
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

Recognition trap is often fueled by comparison with other men and the recognition they receive.


• When we regret doing something because we didn’t get the recognition it uncovers our real motives.


3. Relationship Trap
• A man is tempted to feel “less than” if he is not in a relationship or finds himself single again.

1 Corinthians 7:32
The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.

Singleness provides a unique opportunity to invest eternally by giving undivided devotion to the Lord.

III. Replacing the Idol of Significance

• The answer to the fear of man is the fear of God.

Luke 12:4-5
I tell you,my friends, do not fear those who kill the body and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I warn you whom to fear, fear him who, after he has killed has authority to cast into hell. Yes I tell you, fear him!

• Know that people’s actions are more about their hearts than about us, so do not take their rejection or mistreatment personal.

Isaiah 51:7-8, 12
Hear me you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations. – I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass…

• Remember that people are mortals like us, they too are fallible and are going to die someday but God is infallible and eternal.

Understand who has the real power, both now and forever; and let no one define who you are but God!

”It is the most natural thing in the world to be scared, and the clearest evidence of God’s grace at work in our hearts is when we do not get into panics. The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else.” Oswald Chambers

• We were made for more than worrying about what people may think.
• We were born for more than fearing someone’s opinion.
• We were redeemed for more than living with focus on pleasing humans.
• We were saved for more, much more, than this shallow approach to life.
• We were chosen to do the will of God and not the idol of man’s popularity.

I AM TO FEAR NOTHING AND NO ONE BUT GOD!

Fear of man vs. fear of God - There are no other options.

Questions for discussion:

Which of the significance traps is most relevant for you: the approval trap, the recognition trap, or the relationship trap? Discuss.

Living according to the false belief I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself causes us to fear rejection conforming all of our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others. How are you affected by this belief?

In Acts 20:24 Paul says, But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Discuss what traps Paul had to work through and how he worked through them.

Men's Fraternity Week 18

Men’s Fraternity
Week #18 Control

I. Deep Idol of Control

1. Idol of Control is when I am unwilling to let go of my agenda and let God do His work.
2. When we are feeling powerless or circumstances are overwhelming the enemy proposes the lie that, “we must do something (be in control) or we will be hurt.”
   
   • When I am feeling powerless I no longer turn to God, instead my new idol of control is what I live by to protect myself from feeling powerless.

II. Manifestations of the Control Idol

1. Manifests itself in fear and anxiety.
   
   • Fear and anxiety surface when you might lose influence over something you want, and uncertainty about someone or something.
   
   Matthew 16:22-23
   Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him saying, ‘Far be it from you Lord! This shall never happen to you.’ Jesus said to Peter, ‘Get behind me Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on the things of man.’
   
   Luke 12:25-26
   Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do a small thing as that why are you anxious about the rest.
   
   
   • Fear shows itself in many ways:
   • I am irritated
   • I am unsatisfied
   • I am restless
   • I am unhappy
   
   
2. Manifests itself in workaholism.
   
   • Having “work” under control gives the illusion and mirage of security.
   
   Matthew 16:26
   What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?
   
   
3. Manifests itself in anger.
   
   • When I cannot control a situation and begin to feel as if I am losing control the result is anger.
   • Look behind anger and you will find fear. Look behind fear and you will find control.
   
   Ecclesiastes 7:9
   Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.
   
   Proverbs 14:29
   Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
   
   [Important to remember: Sometimes God removes our control to protect us.]

III. Replace Idol of Control Through Relinquishment

1. Greatest stumbling block in growing in our relationship with God is that we no longer can be in control.
2. Definition of Relinquishment: to surrender a possession or right.
3. Jesus is the great example of relinquishing His right to the Father.
   
   John 5:30
   I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.
   
   Luke 22:42
   Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless not my will, but yours be done.
   
   If Jesus our Savior exchanged His will for God’s will, then why would we entertain ideas that our self-will is something we are master over?
   
   
4. Relinquishing is a trust issue.


Do we trust God enough to let go of our heart and life - of our self-will and let God have his way in our life?


• Letting go is rarely easy or desirable. It is like a wrestling match – a match of the will, God’s will VS my will.
• If relinquishing is a trust issue, then when an issue of relinquishing arises, the true colors of our heart’s devotion to Him will emerge.


5. Being a follower of Christ is not willing to relinquish my sin only, but my whole way of looking at things.
   
   Galatians 2:20
   I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
   
   
   • ”…it is no longer I who live…” – means, my life is no longer identified as mine – I give up my rights.
   • When we relinquish our will to God, we settle with the truth of His sovereignty and live in peace allowing the outcome of our circumstances to be in the hands of our loving Father.

Discussion:

1. Several manifestations emerge from the deep idol of control: fear, workaholism, and anger. Discuss any of these manifestations that can be a temptation for you.

2. How should the concept of relinquishing (surrender of rights) change our approach towards our Control Idol in our lives?

3. Read Jeremiah 17:5-8. Discuss how this passage relates to what we have seen today.

Men's Fraternity Week 17

Men’s Fraternity
Week #17 XXX

INTRODUCTION

• Pornography has a stranglehold on the American Culture!
• Stats from Lifeway Research and Education Database. (Jan 2013)
  
  
  • $3,075.63 is spent on pornography every second.
  • Most popular weekday for viewing porn is Sunday.
  • Percentage of men age 18-34 that visit porn sites in a given month - 70%
  • Percentage of Christian men who view porn regularly - 70%
  • Percentage of men who say viewing porn is acceptable behavior - 67%

Men of all ages, ethnicities, professions and income levels are willingly infecting their hearts and minds with images that are addictive, destructive, and in some cases, criminal.

Matthew 5:27
Jesus addressed this issue: ”You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’”

1. Sexuality is where we are most vulnerable; we experience the most shame and exhibit the greatest secrecy.
2. In the past you had to go our of your way to acquire pornography, today you have to go out of your way to avoid sexual images.
3. Perceived anonymity and pervasive accessibility has made pornography bigger than ever before.

I. SUSCEPTIBLE BRAINS AND DISCONNECTED HEARTS

a. Susceptible Brains

• God designed our brains to be stimulated visually by the beauty of the female body.

Proverbs 5:15-19
”Drink from the water of your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in love.”

• When a man views pornography, pleasure chemicals are released in his brain in amounts that far exceed normal levels.
• You quickly build up a tolerance to the same old stuff you’ve seen and to get the old high you’ll have to push the boundaries.
• You are not alone. This should strike shame at its root because we are all in the same boat and have the capacity for this stuff.

b. Disconnected Hearts

• Pornography is an outward act indicating a deeper need in us. The deep need is intimacy with God and others.
• A man disconnected from God and others is a man either struggling with or extremely vulnerable to sexual temptation.
• A man connected to God and trustworthy men, you will find a man nobly fighting the battle of lust.

II. ACTIVATING THE NOBLE FIGHT AGAINST LUST

a. We’ve got to ADMIT the sin and pursue ruthless honesty beginning with ourselves and with trustworthy men.

• Breaking the hold comes when we remove our mask and provide opportunity for truth and hope.

Psalm 32:3-5
”When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity, I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.’”

• When we don’t share, our hearts are disconnected, we live life alone and in isolation - turn to pornography to medicate our pain.

b. Identify the broken promises (lies) of pornography.

• To change we have to go beyond the “what” of our sin [I am looking at porn] and get to the “why” [porn promises to meet some need in me].

Matthew 15:19-20
”For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.”

c. Move from the broken promises of lust to repentance to something better.

2 Corinthians 7:10
”For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”

• Worldly grief – produces death.
  
  • Negative consequences of pornography do not produce change because they lack the ability to affect repentance. Must go beyond saying, “I have sinned.”
• Godly grief produces repentance leading to salvation…
  
  • Repentance is what happens on the inside; it is not an effort to change behavior through a process of steps or muscle training.

Colossians 3:5
”Put to death therefore what is earthly in you, sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness which is idolatry.”

• Repentance involves a change of authority, and adjustment in who rules.

John 8:34, 36
”Truly, truly, I say to you everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

• We are so powerless to make change that repentance is impossible apart from God’s work.

Jeremiah 13:23
Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots? Then also you can do good who are accustomed to do evil.

Matthew 5:3
”Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

• Repentance is a call for brokenness and a radically inward change toward God.

Psalm 51:17
”The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise.”

Discussion:

Reflect on this statement: “Show me a man disconnected from God, from his wife, and from others and I’ll show you a man either struggling with, or extremely vulnerable to, sexual temptation. But show me a man connected to God, his wife, and trustworthy men and I’ll show you a man who has a chance to fight the noble fight.” What are you experiencing? Discuss.

How does the above relate to Proverbs 18:1 “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”?

Have you known “worldly sorrow” or “Godly sorrow” when dealing with sin? Discuss the difference.

Which of the 3 Deep Idols [control, significance, and comfort] is at the root of your battle with sexual temptation? What false promise can lust use to lure you (i.e. escape, validation, power, acceptance, comfort)?

Share with your group one or two strategic moves that you need to make in order to apply what you have learned in this session.

Men's Fraternity Week 16

Men’s Fraternity
Week #16 Battle Plan Modeled


Pastor Brian likes to begin our sessions with short videos, today he showed this one:



Review

Our “Battle Plan”

• Admit the Struggle.
• Identify the lie.
• Replace with the truth.

1. Jesus’ Example

1. Just like Adam in the Garden of Eden, Jesus was tempted by the great liar himself, satan.

Hebrews 2:18
For because he himself (Jesus) has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. [And because Jesus was human we will suffer when tempted the same way He did.]

• There is a suffering we face when dealing with temptation.
• Jesus can identify with the suffering we face in times of temptation and help us.

Hebrews 4:15-16
We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

• We need to have confidence in the grace and mercy of God to give us the help we need.

2. Jesus’ Model for us.

A. Jesus tempted with the deep idol of comfort

Satan: ”If you are the Son of God command these stones to become loaves of bread.” Matthew 4:3

Lie: Satisfy your needs through your own means.

Jesus: ”Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4

Replace with Truth: True happiness comes not in immediate gratification but in self-sacrifice to benefit others.

B. Jesus tempted with the deep idol of significance.

Satan: ”If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, ‘He will command His angels concerning you, and on their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” Matthew 4:6

Lie: Proving his significance through effort of power and performance.

jesus: ”It is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Matthew 4:7

Replace with Truth: Understand your place and God’s authority.

C. Jesus tempted with deep idol of control.

Satan: ”All these [kingdoms of the world] I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Matthew 4:9

Lie: Happiness comes when you are in charge.

Jesus: ”Be gone satan! For it is written, you shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve. Matthew 4:10

Replace with Truth: God is the focus and the only one we serve. [The things we are in charge of end up being in charge of us.]

”Our chief enemy is the lie that says sin will make our future happier. Our chief weapon is the truth that says God will make our future happier. When my thirst for joy and meaning and passion are satisfied by the presence and promises of Christ, the power of sin is broken. We do not yield to the offer of sandwich meat when we smell the steak sizzling on the grill.” John Piper

Discussion:

How do the two passages in Hebrews help you when you are dealing with temptations in your life?

Remember that all idols over-promise and under-deliver. Discuss what idols are out there today that we as men are getting duped by? What are they promising? [Everywhere we look are advertisements promising that if we drive a certain type of car or drink a certain type of beverage etc we will be happier, more successful, more attractive to the opposite sex. Many promises that never deliver.]

Proverbs 28:13 says, ”People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them they will receive mercy.” Discuss amongst yourselves why we want to conceal and why we are reluctant to confess our sins? What is the truth conveyed here?

Ephesians 5:11, 13 says ”Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness but instead expose them… When anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible.” What is the truth that we need to acknowledge here?

1 Corinthians 14:20
Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

What is the challenge for us when we read this vese?

Men's Fraternity Week 15

Men’s Fraternity
Week #15 Battle Plan

I. Understanding the Strategy of the Enemy

• Temptations and idols are issues for all of us and this has devastated men throughout history.

James 1:14-15
Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it is conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

desire>enticed>lured>tempted>conceived>sin>continue sin=death

• When a desire is enticed (from without) and entertained in the mind, it lures (from within) us to the point of temptation, we act upon what has been dwelled upon.
• It’s not that your desires are too strong and need to be dialed back; they’re actually too weak and need to be redirected.
• The problem isn’t desire. The problem is misplaced desire. [selfishly desiring things for oneself]

It lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for enjoyment of it is a bad thing. I submit that this notion…is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go making mudpies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
(C S Lewis, The Weight of Glory, p26, 1949)

Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth.

II. The more Noble Pathways

• God’s noble pathways are ultimately more lasting and fulfilling than any alternative.
• You can’t just remove an idol or behavior from your life. You have to replace it with something else, something more satisfying and fulfilling.

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I come that they may have life and have it abundantly.

• God is for us, not against us.
• God has given us noble pathways to meet our God-given goals.

Admit the struggle.
Identify the lie.
Replace with the truth.

1. Admit the Struggle

• First step is always to own up to the fact that an external issue is causing problems and has become a surface idol in your life.

1 John 1:8
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

• The hardest step for men to take is to acknowledge where we really are and what we’re really struggling with. [God may have to break us down to get to the core issue.]

James 5:16
Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

• We need to acknowledge that we are all in a struggle together, each of us is a mess. When we do, we remove the mask and begin moving towards God’s grace.

2. Identify the Lie.

• What is the lie that is seducing you? [examples: I can’t change. I’ve always been this way. There’s just something wrong with me.]
• We can’t just deal with the behavior you must attack the root! The sin beneath the sin!

John 8:44
Jesus said…”You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and father of lies.”

• When we are enticed or lured…speak the words “you are of your father the devil, your will is to do your father’s desire

11 Diagnostic Questions to ask yourself – by David Powlison
1. What do I worry about?
2. What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to feel that I did not even want to live?
3. What do I run to in order to comfort myself when things go bad or get difficult?
4. What do I do to cope? What are my release valves? What do I need to feel better?
5. What often times preoccupies me? What do I daydream about?
6. What makes me feel the most self-worth? Of what am I proudest? For what do I want to be known?
7. What do I often lead with in conversations?
8. Early on what do I want to make sure that people know about me.
9. What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God?
10. What do I really want and expect out of life? What do I think would make me happy?
11. Whom or what do I trust in for my life future?

3. Replace with Truth

John 8:31-32
If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.

Discuss Your Action Plan

How do you see the strategy of the enemy in James 1:13-15 at work in your life.?

Take some time to discuss the 11 diagnostic questions. (Ruthlessly honest.)

Practice James 5:16 – “confess sins to one another and pray for one another.”

Men's Fraternity Week 14

Men’s Fraternity
Week #14 Empty Promises

Pastor Brian often begins our sessions with short videos. Sometimes they tie in with that week’s message and sometimes they’re just for fun, like this one. This one is for those of us who have had a bad morning:



Review
Idols can be divided into two categories:

• Surface idols.
• Deep idols.

Deep idols are:

• Control – pursuit of security or power.
• Significance – desiring approval or recognition. [If you feel devastated when you don’t receive approval or recognition then this may have become an idol for you.]
• Comfort – driven to ease or consumption. [Seeking comfort in food, etc…]

Jeremiah 2:13
For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

John 4:13-14
Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water I will give him will never be thirsty again.

To be an Authentic Man is a repenting man, a man identifying the broken cisterns so he can pursue the Life of Christ.

Biblical examples of Men struggling with Lure of Idolatry.

1. Adam

Genesis 3:5-6
For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

Foundational lie to idolatry:
When we can go around God and away from God rather than TO God to meet our deepest needs.

Control - ”your eyes will be opened”
Significance - ”you will be like God”
Comfort - ”good for food…delight to the eyes”
Like all idols, this idol (the fruit) over-promised and did not deliver.

2. Solomon

[I have read through the book of Ecclesiastes a few times but confess that I never fully grasped what it was all about. Pastor Brian helped put it in perspective, however, when he said that it is basically King Solomon’s labwork; experimenting with various means of pleasing himself or giving meaning to his life, and drawing conclusions on the results.]

PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE THROUGH SELF HELP

Ecclesiastes 1:13
I applied my heart to seek and search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven.

Acquire control of his life through knowledge and trusting in what he has learned.

Conclusion
Ecclesiastes 1:17
And I applied my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but striving after wind.

Knowledge too over-promised and under-delivered for Solomon.

PURSUIT OF PLEASURE

Ecclesiastes 2:1
I said in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself.”

Pursuit of comfort through pleasure. Believe that escaping life and responsibility and giving ourselves to parties and leisure is the life.

Conclusion
Ecclesiastes 2:2
I said of laughter, “It is mad,” and of pleasure, “What use is it?”

When something good becomes a god, the pleasure it brings dies in the process.

PURSUIT OF ALCOHOL AND STIMULANTS

Ecclesiastes 2:3
I searched with all my heart how to cheer my body with wine…

Turned to comfort of escape through alcohol.

This is fueled by a man who wants escape and immediate gratification, temporary relief, or a buffer between him and the stress of everyday.

PURSUITS OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND POSSESSIONS

Ecclesiastes 2:4-8
I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man.

Looking to his accomplishments was going to give him a sense of significance.

Conclusion
Ecclesiastes 6:2
a man to whom God gives wealth, possessions, and honor, so that he lacks nothing of all that he desires, yet God does not give him power to enjoy them, but a stranger enjoys them. This is vanity; it is a grievous evil.

PURSUIT OF SEX

1 Kings 11:3
He had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart.

The god of sex offers a counterfeit joy that becomes elusive through time, ever harder to please, ever closer to emptiness.

The god of pleasure is the master of bait and switch, luring us in with images and promises that become the chains and shackles of our mental imprisonment.

PURSUIT OF WORK

Ecclesiastes 2:18
I hated all my toil in which I toil under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to the man who will come after me,

If you seek significance and control from work, it will not _________. [Brian didn’t fill in this blank for us but I think it should be “deliver” or something like that.]

Paul

Pursuit of Righteousness
I can control my life or find significance in:

• Being good
• Being moral
• Fulfilling the duties of the church

Philippians 3:4-7
though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

Questions for discussion:
1. We have looked at some key characters in the Bible that had some battles with idols in their lives that left them empty What are some of the empty promises you have discovered in life?

2. Share with your group what would be your top idol we discussed today that leaves you empty, but you find yourself wanting to go back or going back?

3. Read Matthew 6:19-21 and discuss what Jesus was saying here in relation to our struggles with the deep idols we have discussed today.

4. Discuss this quote “Idols are defeated not by being removed but by being replaced.”

Men's Fraternity Week 13

Men’s Fraternity
Week #13 Idols

Pastor Brian began our first session of the new year with this video from the Skit Guys.



Exodus 20:3
You shall have no other gods before me.

Psalm 106:36
They served their idols which became a snare to them.

1. Goals for this session:

• Discuss some key realities that are foundational to the traps that a man faces in life.
• Describe a framework for understanding temptations in the life of a man.
• To help get to the root issue. The sin beneath the sin.

Questions for Discussion:
1. Many men live in both shame and guilt while hiding from those around them. Why would men abandon the “abundant life” that is available in Jesus Christ for idols that trap them in bondage? (Some examples of these idols are: workaholism, pornography and other addictions, desperate need for approval, disappointment with life or fear of failure).

2. Why would we ever choose anything other than God’s best for our lives?

2. Key Realities:

a. In order to experience ultimate freedom you must practice ruthless honesty.

2 Samuel 10:11
And he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you.

[Praying for others is good but you must also be willing to step in and help others in need.]

David White puts it this way: “All of us live in fear of exposure. We don’t want the worst things about us to be made known. We posture and wear masks. We establish elaborate facades and hide behind our good deeds. This refusal to be truly known and exposed keeps us stuck in our sin.”

b. There’s no such thing as a life apart from struggle and temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

c. Understand grace.

[Grace can be defined as unmerited favor granted to us by God.]

Ephesians 2:8-9
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

d. Authentic manhood is primarily about heart change.

• The noble fight against sin and temptation is not just about behavior modification.
• For instance, God doesn’t want us just to stop lying He wants us to love the truth!
• Behavior modification without heart change is dangerous.

3. The Framework of Idolatry

• An idol can be anything, even a good thing. [The idol itself is not necessarily evil. Like guns: guns are not evil, it’s what we do with them.]
• Idolatry is built on a lie. [This will make me feel better, help me achieve my goals, etc.]
• Idols come from legitimate desires that are being expressed in inappropriate ways.
• Idols can be divided into two categories, or what Pastor Tim Keller calls surface idols and deep idols.

Examples of Deep Idols

• Control

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

• Significance

Galatians 1:10
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. [This follows closely with my own life verse 2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed rightly handling the word of truth.]

• Comfort

Questions for Discussion:
1. The idols that we face are tempting us with relentless intensity throughout life. Which of the idols discussed above is one that is a consistent area of struggle for you? Practice “ruthless honesty” on this one!

[I volunteered that one of my most difficult idols to overcome is money: something that I think and worry about too much and that I have the most difficulty giving over to God. Another man at my table mentioned Control and it was generally agreed upon that some control is probably necessary in most situations but we also have to understand that things will not always go as planned and we need to be flexible.]

2. It has been said that we are only “as unhealthy as our secrets.” Do you agree or disagree with that statement? Why or why not?

[A couple of the men at my table started talking about secrets and were of the opinion that some secrets are better left unsaid as bringing them to light will only cause more harm. I’m not really sure what to think about that. I think it really comes down to trust, if you’re sharing your secrets with someone you truly trust with your heart and soul then that person won’t judge you for it or be hurt by it; they will help you to rise above it.]

3. Share one or more of the idols that you would like others to be praying for your concerning. Then take a few minutes together and pray before heading out for the rest of your day.

Men's Fraternity Week 12

Men’s Fraternity
Week #12 Heart

Pastor Brian began our session today with a funny video about a classic old Christmas song:



Reminder of the Four Pillars of Manhood:

• Reject passivity.
• Accept responsibility.
• Lead courageously.
• Wait for the greater reward. God’s reward.

Remember that men who live out the four pillars of manhood are difference-makers!

1. Understanding the Heart Wound:

• God created mankind without sin and Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world.
• Once Adam and Eve sinned, everything changed.

Genesis 3:6-13
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. ⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ And he said, “I heard the sound of you in te garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” ¹¹ He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ¹² The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” ¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done? The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

[Adam did not reject passivity and he did not accept responsibility. His first reaction was to hide from God, but God sought him out to reconcile.]

• The punishment for sin is both spiritual and physical death.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

• Understanding this alienation from God can help us understand why so often our reality doesn’t measure up to our hopes and dreams.
• There is a longing in each one of us to be reconciled to God for all of eternity.
• The longing is present even if we deny it.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

• The effects of sin are seen in all of creation.

Romans 8:22-23
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we walk eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

• One day Jesus will make all things new.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

• Until that time we have to live between what is and what will be. [but we are not called to simply wait]

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

2. The Journey from Here to Eternity

• We will all struggle with sin.

Romans 7:18-19
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

• The eseence of the heart wound is our total inability to do anything good before God apart from a right relationship with Jesus Christ.

Romans 3:10-12
”None is righteous, no, not one; ¹¹ no one understands; no one seeks for God. ¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

• One reason it is difficult for us to understand this truth is that we are not as evil as we could be. [without our own set of man-made laws, mankind would live to its fullest evil capacity.

Wayne Grudem writes: “The constraints of civil laws, the expectations of family and society, and the conviction of human conscience all provide restraining influences on the sinful tendencies in our hearts…But in spide of the ability to do good in many senses of the word, our inherited corruption, our tendency to sin…means that as far as God is concerned we are not able to do anything that pleases Him.”

• God has already provided the only solution for our sinful heart condition.

Romans 5:6
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 14:6
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

• Faith in Jesus doesn’t mean we all of a sudden become sinless. We are forgiven but not perfect.

Sanctification defined: Sanctification is a progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and like Christ in our actual lives.

3. Practical Help as we Grow to be More Like Jesus Christ

• We need to recognize and feel our feelings.
• We must tell the truth about our hearts to those who are trustworthy.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man

• Give the truth of your heart to God.

John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Group Questions:
1. How has the brokenness of the world touched your life? What does God’s promise to redeem the world mean to you?

2. Why do you think it’s difficult for men to be transparent with one another? Discuss how transparency is difficult for you personally.

3. The end of this session suggested three ways for you to connect to your heart. How good are you in living out these three areas?

• Recognize and feel your feelings,
• Tell the truth about your heart to those who are trustworthy
• Giving the truth of your heart to God

Men's Fraternity Week 6

Men’s Fraternity
Week #6 The Seasons of Manhood

Psalm 90:12
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

[Pastor] Mike’s uninspired translation: Teach me to know how short my life is so I don’t waste my life on worthless things!

1. Living out authentic manhood in life hinges in large part on our ability to:

• Know what season of life you are in.
• Know what needs to be prioritized during that season.
• Know what threats and opportunities are ahead.

2. Keys to transitioning through the seasons of a man’s life:

• Reverse Engineering: Living with the end in mind.
• Mentors: Have men in your life who are in a later life stage than you are currently in.
• Transitions: Know the transitions you are about to enter.
• Laws of the harvest: What we are sowing today will come back to us.

Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

3. The Seasons:

a. Spring: (0-20) identity.

• The season where a boy becomes a man, at least physically.
• Make a break with the home he grew up in.
• In this season he must answer the who question.

b. Summer: (20’s & 30’s) Learning and growing.

• First adult stage of a man’s life
• The first part of this stage is about learning
• Many young men get lost in extended adolescence.
• During this stage a man must determine how to deal with his sexual energy in a Christ honoring way.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

• In your 30’s you really begin to see growth.
• The 30’s are also a time when the tension mounts.
• Although exhausting, remember this stage will pass.

c. Fall: (40-60) Influence.

• A man in this stage reaps the harvest of seeds sown earlier in adult life.
• During this stage a man usually evaluates his past successes and failures.
• The dangers of mid-life loom in this stage if a man looks back with regret.
• It is during this stage that a man is positioned to make the greatest difference.

d. Winter: (60’s and beyond) Sage.

• The stage when a man is marked by wisdom, experience and respect.

Proverbs 20:29
The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair

• Men in this stage have the confidence necessary to help younger men through the stages they are facing.
• The greatest lie a man could believe during this stage is that they can no longer contribute.
• This is the stage for a man to take advantage of the flexibility he has in life.
• This is the stage of life to live intentionally.

Group Questions:
1. If you had the opportunity to share with men at a younger stage of life about the stage you are currently in, what would be the very first things that you would share? Why?

2. Have you had an older mentor in your life? If so, what were the benefits? Have you ever acted as a mentor for anyone else? What was the experience like for you?

3. There are several potential dangers for the different seasons of life. What are the particular dangers you need to guard against in your current season?

4. When you look at the life of Jesus in the Gospels it is clear that He is on mission to complete the work of our redemption. However, He also grew as a young man in many of the same ways that we must grow. Read Luke 2:52 and discuss the ways in which God helps us to grow.

Luke 2:52
And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

Finding Your Purpose

In our second Men’s Fraternity meeting, Pastor Brian challenged each of us to develop a life purpose statement for ourselves and also to choose a life verse from the bible. In our third meeting a couple of days ago Brian asked us if anyone had done that yet. I don’t think anybody raised his hand. Then he asked us if anyone had no idea where to even start in developing a purpose statement. A few of us, including myself, raised our hands. Brian said he suspected that might be the case so he told us he had some handouts for us that might help us with and that we could pick one up after the meeting if we wanted. So on my way out that day I picked one up.

Now, in case you’re not familiar with what a life purpose statement is, as I was not, it is basically a statement that tells people who you are and what you are all about. Businesses always have one but they call it a mission statement. For instance, a mission statement for the United States Post Office might be something like “We will deliver letters and parcels to our customers in a friendly and timely manner.” Nothing in-depth really, just something for them to shoot for as a business; a target to keep their eye on.

Okay, so I took the handout and headed on up to work. I had almost an hour to kill so I just sat in my truck and began reading the handout, ”Finding Your Purpose: How to Know Why You Are Here” by Regi Campbell. In it, Mr. Campbell shares the process by which he came up with his own personal statement and I found it to be very helpful in developing my own.

Most helpful of all was the section in which Regi says to pinpoint your strengths, the things that you are particularly good at, and think about how you can use those things to glorify God. I began to really think about that and I came up with a few things that I can do well. God blessed me with a healthy body and the willingness to work hard when the situation calls for it, and He also gave me a positive mental attitude, and He gave me a good memory. So I began forming my purpose statement around that and came up with this:

I will glorify God by working hard at whatever task He gives me while maintaining a positive attitude and I will remember to give Him the glory in all things.

As Regi Campbell says in his short book, this statement will probably changed and evolve over time but I think it’s a pretty good starting point.

Now, Pastor Brian also encouraged us to choose a life verse from the Bible. A few verses came to mind, verses that have helped me through some difficult times, most especially when I was blind. One was Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Another was Isaiah 30:21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. But as I was working on my purpose statement, another verse came to mind. It was a verse I first came across a long time ago when I was involved with the AWANA group at the church in Gibbon and one that God brought my attention to again only recently. It is 2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. I think that goes along with my purpose statement pretty well and may even serve to refine it a bit. Not only will I work hard, but I will work with honesty and integrity so that I never need to feel ashamed about the job I have done.

I think this was a good exercise and recommend it to everyone. One of the most common questions we as humans always ask is, “What is my purpose?” As Christians, we know the answer to that questions is “To glorify God.” But sometimes we get a little mixed up on how exactly to do that, or perhaps we don’t quite know where to begin. Developing a purpose statement for yourself can help you figure out where your place is in God’s plan and what you can do to further His Kingdom. We can’t all be preachers or ministers, and we can’t all go on missions to Africa, but we all have abilities that we can use to glorify Him. Work on a purpose statement for yourself, and choose a life verse as well. You don’t have to go around telling everyone what it is, but it might just help you find some focus in your life when you feel yourself drifting.

You can view or print Regi Campbell’s book “Finding Your Purpose” here.

2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. ESV

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. ESV

God Seeks Us

Yesterday was the third meeting in our 33-week men’s fraternity group at church. After our first two meetings I typed up our study guides along with whatever notes I made during the session and posted them here on my blog. I don’t have this week’s notes typed up yet although I will probably do that sometime in the next couple of days. Today I wanted to talk about something else.

You see, I didn’t have a very good day. I’m not really sure why, I was just in a bad mood as sometimes happens. I’ve noticed over the years that in my blog I always had a tendency to “skip over” the bad days and only talk about the good ones. I hope you didn’t get the impression that I never have bad days; I am human after all. I think I always did that partly because I really do prefer to focus on the positive and not the negative, but also partly because I, like most humans, try to put up a good front and hide what’s really going on inside. We even talked about that in one of our men’s fraternity meetings, how we hide our true selves from others, and even try to hide from God sometimes. The world that we live in teaches us that men are supposed to be tough and brave and all that. “Cowboy up!” we always say or “Take it like a man!” We are taught that feelings are a sign of weakness. Of course, God’s definition of what a man should be is far different than our own worldly definition.

Anyway, back to my bad day. I got to the church and a couple of the men that I had sort of started to connect with weren’t there yesterday. So right off the bat I was feeling a little disappointed. Then some guy I hadn’t met before sat down at my table and started eating his lunch. Our meetings are from 12 to 1pm so that guys can come on their lunch break and we are encouraged to bring a lunch if we need to, but most of the guys don’t. Anyway I had to sit through most of the hour listening to this guy eat. In case you don’t know this about me, listening to people eat or chew gum is the one thing that absolutely makes me nuts. I had a hard time paying attention to Pastor Brian and I didn’t get all the notes I wanted to. My mood didn’t improve during that hour. Of the five people that were at my table, two left right away because they thought lunches would be provided and they hadn’t brought anything. The other two left before we were quite finished, as some of the men have to be back at work. That left just me. We always have some group discussion at the end and I could have joined another table for that but I just left.

I went straight up to work after that even though I had about an hour to kill. I went up to Walmart and parked and started reading a handout Brian had given us titled “Finding Your Purpose: How to Know Why You Are Here.” That helped me feel a little better but mostly what I needed was just some time alone, which I was fortunate enough to have.

I realize that whole episode at men’s fraternity was an attack from satan. When you start doing things he doesn’t like he will always do his best to deter you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 Well, for that one hour at least, the devil devoured me. Or maybe he just got a nibble that time. Anyway, thanks to our loving God, that doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. God will always seek us out and pull us back in. That’s something else we talked about in a previous men’s fraternity meeting, that even when we try to hide ourselves from God, He will seek us out. It’s comforting to know that even when I’m too ashamed of myself to go to Him, He will come to me right where I am.

Well, that’s about it for today. I’m going to get those notes typed up and posted here soon and I also wanted to talk more about that “Finding Your Purpose” handout and how it helped me to write my purpose statement. Stay tuned.

Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. ESV

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. ESV

Men's Fraternity Week 2

Men’s Fraternity
Week #2 Lead Like Jesus

Pastor Brian opened our session today by recalling us to one of our verses from last week, Hebrews 2:1. He said that he wanted this verse to become kind of a theme for us throughout the duration of this course.

Hebrews 2:1 Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.

Next, we watched the following video* about a couple of elderly men lamenting that they have never accomplished anything worthwhile with their lives. It’s a very funny skit and the moral is that it’s never too late to jump-start your life.


*This video is not mine, it was posted on YouTube by “theskitguys”, where they have many Christian based videos published. The videos can also be found on their website SkitGuys.com

• Men were created for a noble purpose. Here, Brian asked us to define the word “noble” and some suggestions were “honorable” and “having a higher purpose.”

Acts 13:36 For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep.

God’s Design for Man:

• Life is not performance based.
• God created man in his likeness.

Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Brian pointed out here that this doesn’t just mean we were created in God’s physical likeness but we also share his mentality and personality. We are creative because God is creative; we are intelligent because God is intelligent, etc.

• God called man to be a leader.

Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them. And god said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

• Leadership God’s way takes courage.
• Without courage those we are to lead are left guessing.

Genesis 3:6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

Question: Since God called man to lead, what takes place when man ignores this calling from God? (Family, church, workplace, community, world). How would you make a leadership change in your life today that will honor God’s call on your life to lead?

Here, the general consensus was that without a leader things tend to fall into disarray. I was reminded of a line from a poem by Yeats that goes “Things fall apart if the center does not hold.”

• Adam chose the fruit over obedience to God. And here I wrote down “We often follow what we see.”
• In Adam’s disobedience, his relationship with God and Eve changed.

Genesis 3:7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

Brian talked about how we cover our “nakedness” with masks, in an attempt to hide our true selves from God and from others.

In answer to the sin and subsequent spiritual death of Adam, God responded with Grace.

Genesis 3:21 And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.

From our discussion here I jotted down that God never says, “I told you so.” When we mess up we often try to hide from God, but He will always seek us out to help us get back onto our feet again.

The Only Way Back to God:

• We can be made righteous once again in Christ.

Romans 5:8 God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 3:21-22 But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe.

1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.

Where Does a Man Find Fulfillment in Life?

• Men today believe that manhood is defined not by what you build but by what you consume. This goes back to an earlier point that life is not performance based.
• When men live as consumers instead of builders they live as children not men.
• However, God created men to create, add value, give and build that which will last for all of eternity.

Here, Pastor Brian encouraged each of us to develop a purpose statement for our own lives and to think about choosing a life verse from the bible.

• Without Jesus Christ you will continue to struggle and remain dead in your sin and selfishness.

1 Corinthians 15:45 Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam (Jesus) became a life-giving spirit.

• Jesus modeled authentic manhood by living His life to bless others.
• Men who follow Jesus know they are put on this earth for more than to seek their own pleasure and then die.

Start Today

• Know that God in His Son has made a provision for your sin.
• Accept and carry out God’s call on your life to live a life of purpose
• Pray that God will use you to influence and encourage others.

Next week we are going to talk about how Jesus lived out on earth what we talked about today!

Group Questions:
1. In 1 Corinthians 14:45 we read that Jesus was a “life-giving Spirit.” In what particular ways are you reflecting the person of Jesus Christ in your most important relationships? Would others call you “life-giving” or something else in describing your contribution to their lives?

Here I jotted down that an important part of being a leader is the ability to speak the truth with sensitivity.

2. Your leader shared their life purpose. What would you say is your life purpose? Are you fulfilling the purpose in your life at this time? Why or why not?

3. Have you ever thought that there was a higher calling on your life? What is it about the leadership and life giving nature of Jesus Christ that spurs you on to love and good deeds?