Men's Fraternity Week 19

Men’s Fraternity
Week #19 Significance



Introduction:

• We have talked about daily battles worth fighting, we have talked about who or what we’re giving our life to:
• Who or what we are worshipping.
• Who or what we are letting define us.
• Who or what we are serving.

I. Deep Idol of Significance

Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Lie of Significance – if a certain person, a certain social group or colleagues in my profession… If they find me worthy of attention or love, if they acknowledge my value… then I am significant.

[How often do we base our decisions on what others will think of us?]

• Idol of Significance feeds on the opinions of others.
• We care more about what people think than what God thinks.

When people give affirmation or feedback, which is a good thing, but then they become the greatest things when we cross the line of the Significance Idol.

”Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, cleverer, or better looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, clever, or good looking there would be nothing to be proud about.” C.S. Lewis

II. The Traps With the Idol of Significance

• Approval trap.
• Recognition trap.
• Relationship trap.


1. Approval Trap


• In Biblical terms it’s called “The Fear of Man.”
• Driven by fear and becoming overly concerned with disappointing or upsetting people.

[Find significance in your actions, not in the approval you get from them.]

Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.


• Turning to others for what only God can provide is a direct result of accepting Satan’s trap:

Significance = performance + other’s opinions


• The lie of being approved by others to feel good about myself causes me to fear rejection and then conforming our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others.

Acts 20:24
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

Key questions to consider:< br />

• Does the thought of disappointing people effect your peace and contentment?
• Do you have a tendency to avoid telling people what you really think?
• Are you hypersensitive to criticism and you either are crushed or you seek to crush the one who said it?

Approval trap is fueled by the “steroid” to prove yourself!


2. Recognition Trap
• The trap is based on pride and hungers for admiration and fame.
• Being recognized can be a good thing, but it becomes toxic when it becomes the greatest thing.
2 Corinthians 10:12
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

Recognition trap is often fueled by comparison with other men and the recognition they receive.


• When we regret doing something because we didn’t get the recognition it uncovers our real motives.


3. Relationship Trap
• A man is tempted to feel “less than” if he is not in a relationship or finds himself single again.

1 Corinthians 7:32
The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.

Singleness provides a unique opportunity to invest eternally by giving undivided devotion to the Lord.

III. Replacing the Idol of Significance

• The answer to the fear of man is the fear of God.

Luke 12:4-5
I tell you,my friends, do not fear those who kill the body and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I warn you whom to fear, fear him who, after he has killed has authority to cast into hell. Yes I tell you, fear him!

• Know that people’s actions are more about their hearts than about us, so do not take their rejection or mistreatment personal.

Isaiah 51:7-8, 12
Hear me you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations. – I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass…

• Remember that people are mortals like us, they too are fallible and are going to die someday but God is infallible and eternal.

Understand who has the real power, both now and forever; and let no one define who you are but God!

”It is the most natural thing in the world to be scared, and the clearest evidence of God’s grace at work in our hearts is when we do not get into panics. The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else.” Oswald Chambers

• We were made for more than worrying about what people may think.
• We were born for more than fearing someone’s opinion.
• We were redeemed for more than living with focus on pleasing humans.
• We were saved for more, much more, than this shallow approach to life.
• We were chosen to do the will of God and not the idol of man’s popularity.

I AM TO FEAR NOTHING AND NO ONE BUT GOD!

Fear of man vs. fear of God - There are no other options.

Questions for discussion:

Which of the significance traps is most relevant for you: the approval trap, the recognition trap, or the relationship trap? Discuss.

Living according to the false belief I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself causes us to fear rejection conforming all of our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others. How are you affected by this belief?

In Acts 20:24 Paul says, But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Discuss what traps Paul had to work through and how he worked through them.

Men's Fraternity Week 18

Men’s Fraternity
Week #18 Control

I. Deep Idol of Control

1. Idol of Control is when I am unwilling to let go of my agenda and let God do His work.
2. When we are feeling powerless or circumstances are overwhelming the enemy proposes the lie that, “we must do something (be in control) or we will be hurt.”
   
   • When I am feeling powerless I no longer turn to God, instead my new idol of control is what I live by to protect myself from feeling powerless.

II. Manifestations of the Control Idol

1. Manifests itself in fear and anxiety.
   
   • Fear and anxiety surface when you might lose influence over something you want, and uncertainty about someone or something.
   
   Matthew 16:22-23
   Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him saying, ‘Far be it from you Lord! This shall never happen to you.’ Jesus said to Peter, ‘Get behind me Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on the things of man.’
   
   Luke 12:25-26
   Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do a small thing as that why are you anxious about the rest.
   
   
   • Fear shows itself in many ways:
   • I am irritated
   • I am unsatisfied
   • I am restless
   • I am unhappy
   
   
2. Manifests itself in workaholism.
   
   • Having “work” under control gives the illusion and mirage of security.
   
   Matthew 16:26
   What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?
   
   
3. Manifests itself in anger.
   
   • When I cannot control a situation and begin to feel as if I am losing control the result is anger.
   • Look behind anger and you will find fear. Look behind fear and you will find control.
   
   Ecclesiastes 7:9
   Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.
   
   Proverbs 14:29
   Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
   
   [Important to remember: Sometimes God removes our control to protect us.]

III. Replace Idol of Control Through Relinquishment

1. Greatest stumbling block in growing in our relationship with God is that we no longer can be in control.
2. Definition of Relinquishment: to surrender a possession or right.
3. Jesus is the great example of relinquishing His right to the Father.
   
   John 5:30
   I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.
   
   Luke 22:42
   Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless not my will, but yours be done.
   
   If Jesus our Savior exchanged His will for God’s will, then why would we entertain ideas that our self-will is something we are master over?
   
   
4. Relinquishing is a trust issue.


Do we trust God enough to let go of our heart and life - of our self-will and let God have his way in our life?


• Letting go is rarely easy or desirable. It is like a wrestling match – a match of the will, God’s will VS my will.
• If relinquishing is a trust issue, then when an issue of relinquishing arises, the true colors of our heart’s devotion to Him will emerge.


5. Being a follower of Christ is not willing to relinquish my sin only, but my whole way of looking at things.
   
   Galatians 2:20
   I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
   
   
   • ”…it is no longer I who live…” – means, my life is no longer identified as mine – I give up my rights.
   • When we relinquish our will to God, we settle with the truth of His sovereignty and live in peace allowing the outcome of our circumstances to be in the hands of our loving Father.

Discussion:

1. Several manifestations emerge from the deep idol of control: fear, workaholism, and anger. Discuss any of these manifestations that can be a temptation for you.

2. How should the concept of relinquishing (surrender of rights) change our approach towards our Control Idol in our lives?

3. Read Jeremiah 17:5-8. Discuss how this passage relates to what we have seen today.

Men's Fraternity Week 13

Men’s Fraternity
Week #13 Idols

Pastor Brian began our first session of the new year with this video from the Skit Guys.



Exodus 20:3
You shall have no other gods before me.

Psalm 106:36
They served their idols which became a snare to them.

1. Goals for this session:

• Discuss some key realities that are foundational to the traps that a man faces in life.
• Describe a framework for understanding temptations in the life of a man.
• To help get to the root issue. The sin beneath the sin.

Questions for Discussion:
1. Many men live in both shame and guilt while hiding from those around them. Why would men abandon the “abundant life” that is available in Jesus Christ for idols that trap them in bondage? (Some examples of these idols are: workaholism, pornography and other addictions, desperate need for approval, disappointment with life or fear of failure).

2. Why would we ever choose anything other than God’s best for our lives?

2. Key Realities:

a. In order to experience ultimate freedom you must practice ruthless honesty.

2 Samuel 10:11
And he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you.

[Praying for others is good but you must also be willing to step in and help others in need.]

David White puts it this way: “All of us live in fear of exposure. We don’t want the worst things about us to be made known. We posture and wear masks. We establish elaborate facades and hide behind our good deeds. This refusal to be truly known and exposed keeps us stuck in our sin.”

b. There’s no such thing as a life apart from struggle and temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

c. Understand grace.

[Grace can be defined as unmerited favor granted to us by God.]

Ephesians 2:8-9
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

d. Authentic manhood is primarily about heart change.

• The noble fight against sin and temptation is not just about behavior modification.
• For instance, God doesn’t want us just to stop lying He wants us to love the truth!
• Behavior modification without heart change is dangerous.

3. The Framework of Idolatry

• An idol can be anything, even a good thing. [The idol itself is not necessarily evil. Like guns: guns are not evil, it’s what we do with them.]
• Idolatry is built on a lie. [This will make me feel better, help me achieve my goals, etc.]
• Idols come from legitimate desires that are being expressed in inappropriate ways.
• Idols can be divided into two categories, or what Pastor Tim Keller calls surface idols and deep idols.

Examples of Deep Idols

• Control

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

• Significance

Galatians 1:10
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. [This follows closely with my own life verse 2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed rightly handling the word of truth.]

• Comfort

Questions for Discussion:
1. The idols that we face are tempting us with relentless intensity throughout life. Which of the idols discussed above is one that is a consistent area of struggle for you? Practice “ruthless honesty” on this one!

[I volunteered that one of my most difficult idols to overcome is money: something that I think and worry about too much and that I have the most difficulty giving over to God. Another man at my table mentioned Control and it was generally agreed upon that some control is probably necessary in most situations but we also have to understand that things will not always go as planned and we need to be flexible.]

2. It has been said that we are only “as unhealthy as our secrets.” Do you agree or disagree with that statement? Why or why not?

[A couple of the men at my table started talking about secrets and were of the opinion that some secrets are better left unsaid as bringing them to light will only cause more harm. I’m not really sure what to think about that. I think it really comes down to trust, if you’re sharing your secrets with someone you truly trust with your heart and soul then that person won’t judge you for it or be hurt by it; they will help you to rise above it.]

3. Share one or more of the idols that you would like others to be praying for your concerning. Then take a few minutes together and pray before heading out for the rest of your day.

Journal - Peaches

On Friday, Bobbi called me and said their peach tree was overflowing with peaches and asked if we wanted to come pick some. So we did that Saturday morning. We came home with about 5 dozen, although they were small because the tree made so many. I decided to try canning them, which I have never done before. We’ve been saving glass jars for recycling, and I always wondered if they could be re-used for canning. I mean like pickle jars, or spaghetti sauce and things like that. I asked Mom, and she said they probably wouldn’t work, but you know me, I had to try it anyway. So after we got home with the peaches, I tried an alfredo sauce jar. I cleaned and sliced 10 peaches which turned out to be just enough for the pint-sized jar. These peaches, by the way, are incredibly sweet and juicy. I heated the sliced peaches on the stove and then Joni put them in the jar piping hot. After a couple of hours, the lid popped and the jar was sealed! It looked like my experiment was going to work.

That evening, I decided to do another jar. I cleaned up 10 more peaches and put them in a jar, but that jar never sealed so I had to put them in the refridgerator. Later on, Joni and I decided that the peaches hadn’t been as hot that time, and that’s why the jar didn’t seal properly.

So, Sunday after lunch, I tried some more. I cleaned up the rest of the peaches, about 30 this time. We made sure to get the peaches very hot before spooning them into jars, but alas, none of them sealed. My experiment was a failure. I did some reading online, and some people say that they use commercial jars all the time. Of course, there are other people that say you shouldn’t do that. For me, it only worked on one jar out of five.

So we had a lot of peaches that needed to be used right away before they went bad. I found a recipe for peach cobbler on the internet, and Joni made some Monday after supper. The recipe used two whole jars of peaches, the jars were smaller than I realized, only about two cups in each. The cobbler turned out pretty good, although it was not the best I’ve ever had. The dough was kind of plain. We still have three more jars of peaches, though, so we can experiment with more recipes. I also found a recipe for turnovers and I thought I might try that. All in all, it was kind of fun. It gave me something to do for a couple of days. And Bobbi and Mike’s tree probably still has peaches on it, so maybe we’ll go get some more.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

2 Corinthians 9:6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.