Thursday, October 29, 2009

Astri's Story pt 2

Let me see now, where was I? Silly question, I was telling Astri’s story, of course. You probably thought that story was over. Nope, that was just the beginning. You see, it was Astri that eventually brought me to God. So here’s the rest of the story.

Astri’s Story part 2
Help, I’ve Been God-Slapped

So, like I said, after Astri was born I took a week off from work to stay home with Joni and didn’t return until the following Monday.

Now, I should mention here that I never told anyone at work about Astri. In fact I never even told anyone that Joni was pregnant. This was mainly because I didn’t really have any friends at work. I mostly keep to myself and was not in the habit of discussing my personal life in the work place.

I can’t remember exactly what day it was. I know it was either Tuesday or Wednesday of that week but can’t remember which. Anyway, I was sitting in the breakroom that day reading my book. It was always my habit to take my breaks in the breakroom, reading. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have any friends. Food for thought. I had the entire breakroom to myself that day which was a little bit unusual. This was a fair-sized office building and there was almost always someone in the breakroom.

So I was sitting there alone, reading, or at least staring at my book. Probably I was just sitting there thinking. Then a lady came into the room and walked over to the coffee pot. I knew who she was because we had worked in the same department for a while, but I didn't say hi or anything because, like I said, I’m not very sociable. I just sat there with my book while she busied herself pouring coffee and getting sugar and creamer and all that. Then she came over to the table where I was sitting and started talking to me. Ugh!

“Are you all right Steven?” she said. Right away I was wondering if she found out about Astri somehow. I hadn’t told anyone so she couldn’t really know. Maybe I just looked tired or something. I lied and told her I was fine.

“Are you sure?” she said. Now I was really starting to wonder. If she didn’t know about Astri, why would she be asking me if I’m okay? I didn’t typically converse with people about anything other than work. Why couldn’t she just leave me alone? Again I lied and told her I was fine.

Then she said the words that changed my life. I still get goose-bumps when I think about it. She looked me right in the eye and said, “The Lord asked me to come over here and tell you that everything is going to be okay.”

Can you imagine? What on earth do you say to someone after something like that? Well, I was in denial. I kind of laughed a little and said, “He did?” Yeah, I know, that response was just too clever for words.

Well, she left me alone after that, but the damage was done. I drifted through the rest of the day and then went home. I told Joni what had happened and she told me that she had been praying for God to comfort me.

I wish I could tell you that my life took a complete one-eighty right then and there, but I can’t. God slapped me right upside the head and said “Enough is enough, listen up!” but it still took me a while to come around.

The important thing is, the chain reaction had begun. No matter how hard I tried, and I did try, I could no longer deny the existence of God. He knew it would take something extreme to reach me, so he did something extreme. He gave me incontrovertible and undeniable proof. I wasn’t ready to hand over my whole life yet, but I knew there was someone to hand it over to, if I chose to.

So anytime those doubts start to creep in on me in the wee hours of the night, all I have to do is remember that day in the breakroom and I feel comforted. God didn’t go to all that trouble just to leave me hanging five years later. I know He loves me, and He is here to stay!

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.


  1. From my past experience I know for certain that God is not something you can shove down someone's throat or force someone to love, you have to be drawn all on your own to Him. Nothing no one says or does has a stronger impact than you yourself actually feeling the Lord's hand reaching out directly to you! What an awesome experience and feeling. Amen!

  2. My messenger was a man who explained to me that when he has a problem, he puts his troubles on the mountain tops so they'll be closer to God. I remember that day, because i said something like, "I don't know what got me to decide to get sober, I guess it was God." I clapped my hand over my mouth because I couldn't believe I, the staunch athiest, had said that. But I instantly knew it was true. I wholeheartedly agree with JayNoi, when we come to God on our own, it is easier to fully trust in Him.

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

  3. Hey Steven, this is your cousin Chris. (I go by Howie, but you can use whichever name you like.) I caught your blog address from a message Dad wrote me that had a bit of an email from Bobbi at the bottom, so I've read your archives over the past couple days. It's good to hear your story in your words. Love the blog title (caught the reference immediately!) and your links to pop culture (LOTR, HP, etc.). I'll be following... -h

  4. Hey Lego-buddy! I'm glad you said who you were, my screen reader pronounces your name Hoe-ee. It might have taken me a minute to figure that out. :) Good to see you here, thanks for reading!

  5. Thank you for reminding me of his love. I know he is calling me back. I know in my eyes I have done the unforgivable. But to him, I am the lost sheep trying to find a way back. I know the way back. Thanks.

  6. I have to say, NOTHING is unforgivable in His eyes. All He asks is that you ask for forgiveness and YOU my friend are forgiven!
    Joni's senses haven't strayed Sis! I love you.

  7. Hello again Anonymous, don't thank me, thank God! It was no accident that brought you here. How awesome to witness Him at work!

  8. I'm going to remember your story the next time I feel an urge to say something encouraging to someone but am afraid of how they will respond. Thanks for telling us your story! It was so hard for some of us to be so far away from you when you were going through the worst time of your life and not be able to do anything to comfort you! I'm so glad you and Joni have each other!