Saturday, October 17, 2009

Going Blind pt 3

Okay, let’s see if I can wrap this up. If you’ve been following along, you’ll remember that last time I had finally gotten my cornea transplant and could see out of both eyes again after two years with only one eye.

So yeah, I was pretty happy about that. My vision was good in both eyes for the next year but after that it was all down hill.

I started getting infections again in my left eye. We would get one infection cleared up and I’d be okay for one or two or six months, but then another one would pop up. In the meantime, my right eye began to deteriorate. The keratoconus gradually progressed to the point where my hard contact lens didn’t really help any more. I couldn’t get surgery though because of the constant infections in my left eye.

My doctor had always said that she wouldn’t do surgery in either eye until both had been healthy for a whole year. After a couple of years she said maybe she would settle for six months. But it never happened, the infections just kept coming.

Over the next four years or so I gradually lost the vision in my right eye. The transplant in my left eye was holding up pretty good even with all the problems but then I started to develop a cataract in that eye.

Sometime during the early months of 2008 it got bad enough that I couldn’t read books anymore. Through it all I think this has been the hardest thing for me. I’ve always been an avid reader. I have since grown to love audio books and I thank God for them all the time, but I still miss reading.

In May of that year I had to give up driving. That was a big chunk of independence lost and was pretty hard to take. In September I lost my job. I couldn’t have done it much longer anyway though, I was really struggling with it. In October I was declared legally blind.

In April 2009 Joni, Adam and I moved up here to Nebraska. We couldn’t afford to live in Dallas on my social security. I had very little vision left by then but God left me just enough to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. In June I finally lost the last little bit remaining.

And now I am just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to see what God has planned for me.

I need cataract surgery in my left eye and a cornea transplant in the right. I can’t get either because I have no medical coverage. I’ve been denied again and again. I can’t get Medicaid because I make too much money and I can’t get medicare until I’ve been disabled for two years. Private insurance plans are too expensive and also I have a lot of pre-existing medical problems, not just my eye problems, but also asthma.

But that’s okay because I have God in my life now. He promised to take care of us and I believe Him. That makes the waiting much easier to bear. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again. And what a glorious day that will be! I know I still have some things to figure out before that happens though, and I am doing my best to learn them.

I think that’s what this blog is all about. God wanted me to document what’s happening so that lots of people can bear witness. So the sooner you get all your friends to read my blog, the sooner I’ll get my sight back! Ha ha! Just kidding, but that’s what it’s really all about; giving the glory to God. Putting your faith in HIM, not in doctors or surgeries or insurance policies.

So that’s how I became blind. The End…NOT! No, I still have lots of things to share with you so I hope you’ll keep coming back each week. Until next time…

Psalms 118:8 It is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man.

Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works.


  1. Like sands through the are the days of our lives.I'm with ya all the way!


  2. Wow, thank you so much for sharing. There are so many journeys into blindness. I went quickly, you went in agony for years.

    I remember I was about to start trying to raise money to go to the UK for an experimental trial of a drug they were giving to patients with MS and these patients were regaining some of their lost function. I just knew I had to see again, I couldn't live the rest of my life like this.

    But its different now, somehow. I can see all the amazing things God has given me since I went blind, and I can honestly say my life is better and much more exciting now. Isn't it crazy how with absolute trust and faith, we can see the beauty in all things?

    On the medical insurance...a big YUCK to it all. I'm lucky enough to get our version of medicaid while I'm waiting for Medicare, but if I marry or get a part-time job, I'm so afraid I will lose it. And I might not be able to go on B's insurance with my pre existing conditions. Its oh so frustrating.

  3. Steve, Thank you for writing of your experiences. I'm glad you are my brother by blood, but most of all, that you are my brother in Christ! I will for sure be following your blog faithfully from here on out! I love you, little brother! Bobbi

  4. Thank you all for reading! I was afraid that I might be the only one reading this. :)

  5. Never babe! The Lord said they'd come and look....they came. I.L.U.

  6. Hi there,

    Your conversational tone, story-telling ability as well as your endearing tale made me read this twice. I was really moved by your experience. Sometimes we assume we're in real trouble until we read someone else's story. I admire your courage and also that you have a very strong, faithful and beautiful woman by your side. Keep keeping on, the Lord is with you all the way.

    Thank you for letting me read this, Joni. I really appreciate it.

    By the way, I'm Joni's friend from WVU.


  7. Awww Sweet Caroline, I share with my nearest and dearest. :-)
    AND, I taught him everything I know. lol *wink*

    Glad you visit! :-)

    (((hugs to you)))