Well, I’m overdue for an update, so here goes.
I called the lady from the Lion’s Club last Saturday. I had called her a couple of weeks before that and left a message with her husband. She called me back two days later and left me a message, then I called her and left another message. That was it for about a week until I finally called her again last Saturday. She never has called me back so now I’m starting to wonder what that was all about. Maybe she’s away on vacation or something. I debated for a few days about how much I wanted to try and force the issue, but I finally decided I do want to push it. Today I searched the internet and found an email address for the Lion’s Club in Kearney. I sent an email with a brief explanation of my situation and asked if they could help me. I didn’t mention my attempts to contact this other lady, just told them I was trying to get help paying for eye surgery. She might be with the Lion’s in Kearney for all I know, I thought Gibbon had its own chapter but the Lion’s website didn’t show one. So we’ll see if anything comes of that. If nobody answers my email, there’s also a phone number I can try.
On Wednesday I had a dentist appointment. I saw the dentist at the beginning of the month and got three teeth pulled, two wisdom teeth and a molar; this time he started working on my fourth bad tooth which is closer to the front. He did a root canal. I was a little worried about that, I’ve never had one before and everyone always talks about how horrible they are. I found it to be much less of a bother than the extractions, I’ve had very little pain. After the root canal, he filled the tooth with a temporary filling. A little while after we got home, I ate something and the filling popped right out so I had to go back and get another one. My next appointment is September 15 when he will make the final preparations and measurements for a crown. Then I’ll have one more visit to have the crown put in. What a tremendous relief it will be to have that all done. My teeth have been bothering me a lot for a long, long time. I think I’ve mentioned that I even have bad dreams about them sometimes.
On the way home from our second trip to the dentist, we heard kind of a popping sound and one of the wheels on my truck started grinding and squealing very loudly. Our hearts sank because we were already trying to figure out how we were going to pay for this dental work. The sound was like a wheel after the brake pad is completely gone and the brakes are just grinding on metal. We were only about a mile from home when it happened so we drove on home. The noise went away completely but started to come back gradually. Joni said there was a lot of mud caked around the inside of the wheel so it might just be that. Today she took the hose and cleaned it off and the noise is gone. I asked Brad if he could take a look anyway, just in case, I know how expensive brake work can get if you don’t take care of it right away. So we’re going to Brad’s tomorrow. Actually, I asked Brad what was the best place in Kearney to have it looked at, and he said he would do it. My big brother is a pretty good guy. He sure has helped us out a lot over the last year and a half.
So let’s see: Lion’s, dentist, car, I think that’s about it. It’s been a rough week. I was pretty depressed all week about the Lion lady not returning my calls, but I made a decision about that today and feel better. Also, the truck may not be as bad as I first thought so I’m feeling better about that too.
Oh, I don’t know if I ever mentioned my visit to the doctor earlier this month. My sinuses have been kind of bad so I wanted to see what we could do about that. She recommended a nasal spray called Nasocort. I used Nasonex for several years and it worked well for me, and the doctor said Nasocort is pretty much the same thing. She sent in some paperwork for me to see if I can get it for free from the pharmaceutical company through their assistance program. I’ve been getting all my asthma medicine free for several months now and Nasocort is made by the same company so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. In the meantime, the doctor gave me several free samples.
So that’s about it. See you next time!
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Showing posts with label asthma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asthma. Show all posts
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Journal - Weathering The Storm
Well, I don’t really have much to write about, but I’m going to try anyway. I’ve been a little down in the dumps this week and just haven’t felt like doing this. So today I decided to force myself. That has worked for me in the past, just making myself do it when I don't really feel like it.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how the little things can make such a big difference. I guess that holds true with negative things too. Sometimes they can just kind of pile up on you. Last week I got another letter from BCBS. Now they want my entire medical history for the last five years. I’ll have to contact some doctors. Then earlier this week the band on my talking watch broke. It’s held together now by electrical tape, but it still works. And now the headphone jack on my computer speaker is going bad and I don’t think it will keep working much longer. Those are little things, I’m just a little more sensitive to them than I used to be.
I did get some good news, though. On the same day I got that letter from BCBS, I also got one from the pharmaceutical company that makes my asthma medicine, Advair. Several weeks ago, my doctor helped me apply for free or discounted medicine. The letter I got last week was to inform me that I had been approved for Advair at no cost. It went on to say that my first three month supply would be arriving shortly, and I could get free refills for one year. On Tuesday of this week, the package arrived. It had three Advair inhalors, plus a Ventolin which is my rescue inhalor. I wasn’t expecting the Ventolin so that was like a surprise within a surprise. That’s a pretty big load off my mind.
And that’s all I have for today. I’ll try to force myself to put something down tomorrow too. Maybe if I keep at it for a few days, it will start to flow a little more naturally again. I have something nice planned for Saturday, but I put that together a couple weeks ago and have been saving it.
My closing verse today is from the fifty-seventh Psalm. I heard it on the radio the other day when I was listening to a message by Doctor Charles Stanley. He’s on every evening at seven pm and I’ve grown to like him. On this particular night, his message was about weathering storms. Coincidence?
Psalms 57:1-4
1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,for in you my soul takes refuge;in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,till the storms of destruction pass by.2 I cry out to God Most High,to God who fulfills his purpose for me.3 He will send from heaven and save me;he will put to shame him who tramples on me. SelahGod will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!
4 My soul is in the midst of lions;I lie down amid fiery beasts—the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,whose tongues are sharp swords.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how the little things can make such a big difference. I guess that holds true with negative things too. Sometimes they can just kind of pile up on you. Last week I got another letter from BCBS. Now they want my entire medical history for the last five years. I’ll have to contact some doctors. Then earlier this week the band on my talking watch broke. It’s held together now by electrical tape, but it still works. And now the headphone jack on my computer speaker is going bad and I don’t think it will keep working much longer. Those are little things, I’m just a little more sensitive to them than I used to be.
I did get some good news, though. On the same day I got that letter from BCBS, I also got one from the pharmaceutical company that makes my asthma medicine, Advair. Several weeks ago, my doctor helped me apply for free or discounted medicine. The letter I got last week was to inform me that I had been approved for Advair at no cost. It went on to say that my first three month supply would be arriving shortly, and I could get free refills for one year. On Tuesday of this week, the package arrived. It had three Advair inhalors, plus a Ventolin which is my rescue inhalor. I wasn’t expecting the Ventolin so that was like a surprise within a surprise. That’s a pretty big load off my mind.
And that’s all I have for today. I’ll try to force myself to put something down tomorrow too. Maybe if I keep at it for a few days, it will start to flow a little more naturally again. I have something nice planned for Saturday, but I put that together a couple weeks ago and have been saving it.
My closing verse today is from the fifty-seventh Psalm. I heard it on the radio the other day when I was listening to a message by Doctor Charles Stanley. He’s on every evening at seven pm and I’ve grown to like him. On this particular night, his message was about weathering storms. Coincidence?
Psalms 57:1-4
1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,for in you my soul takes refuge;in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,till the storms of destruction pass by.2 I cry out to God Most High,to God who fulfills his purpose for me.3 He will send from heaven and save me;he will put to shame him who tramples on me. SelahGod will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!
4 My soul is in the midst of lions;I lie down amid fiery beasts—the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,whose tongues are sharp swords.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Journal - Party Countdown
Well, here it is, the 19th already! This will be a busy day for us so I hope I have time to post this. Of course, if you're reading it, then obviously I posted it haha! Okay, I'll be honest with you. I'm really writing this on Friday because I know I won’t have time to sit down and write on Saturday. It’ll only take a couple of minutes to copy and paste it into my blog on Saturday so I think I can handle that.
So, let me see, what’s been going on this week. Joni has been cleaning house like crazy since we’re having company tonight. And I’ve been practicing like crazy. The songs are sounding pretty good, but I’m still having trouble with two of them. “O Holy Night" is proving to be extremely challenging, and even after four weeks, I still haven’t had a perfect run on it, although I’m getting close. I’m also having trouble with “Where Are You Christmas.” I've always had trouble with key changes, and that one has two of them at the end. If I can get through those two songs, the show should be pretty good.
On the insurance thing: I had called the BCBS agent last Monday, the 8th I think, just as the blizzard was bearing down. I didn’t hear from him all week, but I chalked it up to the blizzard. So I waited until the following Monday to call him again. Still, I didn’t get a call back, so I called Aetna. Aetna turned me down right away. On Tuesday, the 15th, I call the main office for Blue Cross in Nebraska and complained about the agent that wouldn’t call me back. Lo and behold, he called me about 10 minutes later. He took my basic info over the phone and emailed me an application. Joni and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and fill it out yet, but at least we made a little progress this week.
My asthma and everything is holding up pretty good. I still have the free sample of Advair my doctor gave me. I’m only using it every other day and I'm getting along just fine with that. In the meantime, my doctor found some program where she was able to get me another Advair, completely free. I think that one has 50 doses in it, so I can stretch that one out for a long time. She also sent me an application to see if I would qualify to get them on a regular basis, either free or discounted. Don’t know if I will because they want to see last year’s tax form. I was still working last year, so I’ll be surprised if that works. Anyway, I'm hoping to have insurance before much longer so that's all moot.
Let me see; I did call Ken Thursday night, but he didn’t answer so I left a message. I’ll see if he calls back.
I think that’s about it. Other than my blog. You probably noticed that I’ve been writing a lot this week. I don’t know if that’s because we really have been busier than normal lately, or if I’m just getting a little more comfortable with the whole blog thing. We’ll see what happens after the holidays.
Okay, on to today. A deaconess from our church approached us a couple of weeks ago. She said that every year, the deacons and deaconesses put together Christmas baskets for needy families, and they wanted us to have one. So early this morning we went to the church to pick that up. It is basically everything for a Christmas dinner. There’s a ham, canned fruit and frozen vegetables, as well as fresh carrots, celery, and potatoes, and a cherry pie and whipped cream. What a blessing! It’s hard sometimes to admit that you need help, but if it hadn’t been for all the help we’ve received from lots of different people over the last year, my family and I would be living on the streets right now. If you ever wondered how people end up like that, this is it. They hit one of those stumbling blocks, like I have, but they don’t have any family to fall back on. Or maybe they're just too proud to ask. I hope someday, God will put us in a position where we will be able to help someone out, the way we have been helped.
Okay, I got sidetracked a little. We did that early this morning. This afternoon, we’re going to Brenna's violin recital at 2 o'clock. Stacy said they only play two songs, so that should be a short program. Then we come home and start getting things ready for our company. And somewhere in there, I need a little last minute practice time. Busy day, but I'm looking forward to all of it! I’ll let you know how it turns out. Wish us luck!
Matthew 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
So, let me see, what’s been going on this week. Joni has been cleaning house like crazy since we’re having company tonight. And I’ve been practicing like crazy. The songs are sounding pretty good, but I’m still having trouble with two of them. “O Holy Night" is proving to be extremely challenging, and even after four weeks, I still haven’t had a perfect run on it, although I’m getting close. I’m also having trouble with “Where Are You Christmas.” I've always had trouble with key changes, and that one has two of them at the end. If I can get through those two songs, the show should be pretty good.
On the insurance thing: I had called the BCBS agent last Monday, the 8th I think, just as the blizzard was bearing down. I didn’t hear from him all week, but I chalked it up to the blizzard. So I waited until the following Monday to call him again. Still, I didn’t get a call back, so I called Aetna. Aetna turned me down right away. On Tuesday, the 15th, I call the main office for Blue Cross in Nebraska and complained about the agent that wouldn’t call me back. Lo and behold, he called me about 10 minutes later. He took my basic info over the phone and emailed me an application. Joni and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and fill it out yet, but at least we made a little progress this week.
My asthma and everything is holding up pretty good. I still have the free sample of Advair my doctor gave me. I’m only using it every other day and I'm getting along just fine with that. In the meantime, my doctor found some program where she was able to get me another Advair, completely free. I think that one has 50 doses in it, so I can stretch that one out for a long time. She also sent me an application to see if I would qualify to get them on a regular basis, either free or discounted. Don’t know if I will because they want to see last year’s tax form. I was still working last year, so I’ll be surprised if that works. Anyway, I'm hoping to have insurance before much longer so that's all moot.
Let me see; I did call Ken Thursday night, but he didn’t answer so I left a message. I’ll see if he calls back.
I think that’s about it. Other than my blog. You probably noticed that I’ve been writing a lot this week. I don’t know if that’s because we really have been busier than normal lately, or if I’m just getting a little more comfortable with the whole blog thing. We’ll see what happens after the holidays.
Okay, on to today. A deaconess from our church approached us a couple of weeks ago. She said that every year, the deacons and deaconesses put together Christmas baskets for needy families, and they wanted us to have one. So early this morning we went to the church to pick that up. It is basically everything for a Christmas dinner. There’s a ham, canned fruit and frozen vegetables, as well as fresh carrots, celery, and potatoes, and a cherry pie and whipped cream. What a blessing! It’s hard sometimes to admit that you need help, but if it hadn’t been for all the help we’ve received from lots of different people over the last year, my family and I would be living on the streets right now. If you ever wondered how people end up like that, this is it. They hit one of those stumbling blocks, like I have, but they don’t have any family to fall back on. Or maybe they're just too proud to ask. I hope someday, God will put us in a position where we will be able to help someone out, the way we have been helped.
Okay, I got sidetracked a little. We did that early this morning. This afternoon, we’re going to Brenna's violin recital at 2 o'clock. Stacy said they only play two songs, so that should be a short program. Then we come home and start getting things ready for our company. And somewhere in there, I need a little last minute practice time. Busy day, but I'm looking forward to all of it! I’ll let you know how it turns out. Wish us luck!
Matthew 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Journal, Birthday Wrap-up
Sooo, what’s been happening since my birthday? I’m glad you asked! It seems like all kinds of things are going on.
First, let me wrap up the birthday thing. I got my new socks and am enjoying them a great deal! Also, from Adam I got a Husker t-shirt that I am told looks very cool. From Joni, I got a pair of Husker lounge pants. This is mainly what I wear around the house and I definitely needed a new pair. Oh, and the angus burger was good, but not, THAT, good. I still like the Whopper better. The Coke glasses from McDonald's are nice though, they feel much heavier and sturdier than the ones they had years ago.
Okay, on to my health. I talked about the bad time I was having with my asthma. I had gone to the doctor the day before my birthday. She gave me some medicine that was very affordable, even without insurance, and I’ve been feeling very good since. The pills she gave me, however, are a steroid and you can’t take them for very long. I took my last one on Wednesday so we’ll see what happens. Actually I should be okay for a while yet; she also gave me a free sample of Advair, and now that the steroids are gone I’ll start using that. I’m still working on the insurance thing, but the blizzard kind of shut things down for a couple of days and I'm still waiting for a call back. I called a Blue Cross, Blue Shield agent because I heard they don’t deny for pre-existing conditions. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
Did someone say blizzard? Yep, I guess I did. It snowed pretty heavily for most of Monday and Tuesday. Lots of gusty wind too. I'm not sure what the final tally was, but they were calling for 12 to 15 inches of snow and I'm pretty sure we got at least that much. I loved blizzards when I was a kid. Laying in my nice warm bed at night, listening to the wind whoop and holler outside, knowing the snow was really piling up. That kind of stuff loses its magic a little when you get older, but this one came close. Tuesday night I lay in bed listening to my first blizzard in about 15 years. I think I got a little of the magic back because I knew I didn’t have to leave the house the next day. Also, I could hear my wind chime. I didn’t talk about my wind chime yet, but let's just say it's a very special chime that I hadn't heard since I was a child.
Aside from that, I’ve been spending my time listening to books and exercising. I’ve been putting in about 30 minutes a day on the bike, although I took a few days off when I wasn’t feeling well. Also I’ve been practicing my Christmas music a lot. Some of the songs I got turned out to be kind of difficult so I’ve been working hard on them. I think they’re coming along pretty well though, and I should be ready for the 19th. Which reminds me, Stacy, (Brenna's mom), told me that Brenna has a violin recital on the 19th. Wouldn't you know it? The recital is at 2pm though, and supper here at the house isn't until 5:30, so I think we can make it. Frankly, if I had to choose, I'd probably go to the recital. Our party could always be rescheduled.
Busy, busy, busy! And still a lot to look forward to. The 19th will be a fun day and, of course, Christmas is almost here. In the meantime I’ve got my exercise bike, and my blog, and my saxophone. Not to mention an insurance policy to track down. With any luck, this will be my only Christmas as a blind man. But I can’t get too far ahead of myself. One day at a time, one day at a time.
Psalm 98:4 Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.
First, let me wrap up the birthday thing. I got my new socks and am enjoying them a great deal! Also, from Adam I got a Husker t-shirt that I am told looks very cool. From Joni, I got a pair of Husker lounge pants. This is mainly what I wear around the house and I definitely needed a new pair. Oh, and the angus burger was good, but not, THAT, good. I still like the Whopper better. The Coke glasses from McDonald's are nice though, they feel much heavier and sturdier than the ones they had years ago.
Okay, on to my health. I talked about the bad time I was having with my asthma. I had gone to the doctor the day before my birthday. She gave me some medicine that was very affordable, even without insurance, and I’ve been feeling very good since. The pills she gave me, however, are a steroid and you can’t take them for very long. I took my last one on Wednesday so we’ll see what happens. Actually I should be okay for a while yet; she also gave me a free sample of Advair, and now that the steroids are gone I’ll start using that. I’m still working on the insurance thing, but the blizzard kind of shut things down for a couple of days and I'm still waiting for a call back. I called a Blue Cross, Blue Shield agent because I heard they don’t deny for pre-existing conditions. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
Did someone say blizzard? Yep, I guess I did. It snowed pretty heavily for most of Monday and Tuesday. Lots of gusty wind too. I'm not sure what the final tally was, but they were calling for 12 to 15 inches of snow and I'm pretty sure we got at least that much. I loved blizzards when I was a kid. Laying in my nice warm bed at night, listening to the wind whoop and holler outside, knowing the snow was really piling up. That kind of stuff loses its magic a little when you get older, but this one came close. Tuesday night I lay in bed listening to my first blizzard in about 15 years. I think I got a little of the magic back because I knew I didn’t have to leave the house the next day. Also, I could hear my wind chime. I didn’t talk about my wind chime yet, but let's just say it's a very special chime that I hadn't heard since I was a child.
Aside from that, I’ve been spending my time listening to books and exercising. I’ve been putting in about 30 minutes a day on the bike, although I took a few days off when I wasn’t feeling well. Also I’ve been practicing my Christmas music a lot. Some of the songs I got turned out to be kind of difficult so I’ve been working hard on them. I think they’re coming along pretty well though, and I should be ready for the 19th. Which reminds me, Stacy, (Brenna's mom), told me that Brenna has a violin recital on the 19th. Wouldn't you know it? The recital is at 2pm though, and supper here at the house isn't until 5:30, so I think we can make it. Frankly, if I had to choose, I'd probably go to the recital. Our party could always be rescheduled.
Busy, busy, busy! And still a lot to look forward to. The 19th will be a fun day and, of course, Christmas is almost here. In the meantime I’ve got my exercise bike, and my blog, and my saxophone. Not to mention an insurance policy to track down. With any luck, this will be my only Christmas as a blind man. But I can’t get too far ahead of myself. One day at a time, one day at a time.
Psalm 98:4 Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Heavy Heart
So here it is, 1 o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep. Again. This has been going on for several nights now. I have asthma and it’s been acting up pretty bad lately. It’s harder to breathe lying down so for a few nights I was sleeping in shifts of a couple hours at a time. My asthma has been a little better lately though, and I’ve been able to lie down much better. I still can’t sleep though, ecause I just have too much on my mind.
What’s on my mind? Well, I suppose I should back up a little and explain this properly.
I’ve already talked about some of this. I went blind a while back and have been drawing social security. The payments I’m getting are barely enough to pay our bills, but the government says I’m earning too much to get Medicaid. Medicare is out also because I have to be disabled for two years before I qualify. If I had some kind of medical coverage, I could get my sight back because my problem is correctible by surgery.
Well, my mom kept telling me not to worry about that; that she would come up with the money somehow. I kept turning her down because I truly did not feel like that was what God wanted. It seemed like everytime I was tempted to take matters into my own hands and make something happen, I kept getting the message “wait.”
So, anyway, about three months ago the last of my asthma medicine ran out. I tried really hard to put my trust in God to take care of me, but to tell you the truth I was really scared about what was going to happen. In spite of my fears, when the medicine ran out, I was fine! God totally came through for me! For the next ten weeks or so, life was pretty good. I can't tell you how good it felt to be free of that medicine.
Then a couple of weeks ago, it finally caught up with me. My asthma hasn’t been that bad for about 4 years, when I ended up in the hospital for a week. I had a particularly bad evening a couple of nights ago, and I told Mom Iwas ready to take her up on her offer.
So now I face the prospect of getting some health insurance and possibly getting my sight back. Sounds like a pretty good deal. The problem is that now I’m wondering; is this what God intended, or am I trying to take matters into my own hands again? I really don’t know the answer to that, and that’s what is keeping me up at night, now that my asthma is settling down a little.
I know that God doesn’t want us to suffer. But I also know that sometimes he places challenges before us so that “the works of God should be made manifest,” just like it says in John chapter 9. So I guess the question is; has my disability brought glory to God? That’s kind of what this blog has been all about, but did it reach anyone? In my vanity, I envisioned testifying to thousands of people and converting every one of them to Christ, but of course I know it doesn’t always work that way. This whole thing may have been for one particular person out there; someone who just needed to hear someone talk about God; someone who I may never even know exists. Hmm, I need to read “The 5 People You Meet In Heaven” again.
Well, all I can do is pray about it, and hope that I am doing the right thing. It all comes down to faith. I have to have faith that God will lead me to where He wants me to be. Faith is such a small thing; such a huge thing; the only thing.
John 9:1-3 And as Jesus passed by, He saw a man which was blind from his birth. And His disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither has this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
What’s on my mind? Well, I suppose I should back up a little and explain this properly.
I’ve already talked about some of this. I went blind a while back and have been drawing social security. The payments I’m getting are barely enough to pay our bills, but the government says I’m earning too much to get Medicaid. Medicare is out also because I have to be disabled for two years before I qualify. If I had some kind of medical coverage, I could get my sight back because my problem is correctible by surgery.
Well, my mom kept telling me not to worry about that; that she would come up with the money somehow. I kept turning her down because I truly did not feel like that was what God wanted. It seemed like everytime I was tempted to take matters into my own hands and make something happen, I kept getting the message “wait.”
So, anyway, about three months ago the last of my asthma medicine ran out. I tried really hard to put my trust in God to take care of me, but to tell you the truth I was really scared about what was going to happen. In spite of my fears, when the medicine ran out, I was fine! God totally came through for me! For the next ten weeks or so, life was pretty good. I can't tell you how good it felt to be free of that medicine.
Then a couple of weeks ago, it finally caught up with me. My asthma hasn’t been that bad for about 4 years, when I ended up in the hospital for a week. I had a particularly bad evening a couple of nights ago, and I told Mom Iwas ready to take her up on her offer.
So now I face the prospect of getting some health insurance and possibly getting my sight back. Sounds like a pretty good deal. The problem is that now I’m wondering; is this what God intended, or am I trying to take matters into my own hands again? I really don’t know the answer to that, and that’s what is keeping me up at night, now that my asthma is settling down a little.
I know that God doesn’t want us to suffer. But I also know that sometimes he places challenges before us so that “the works of God should be made manifest,” just like it says in John chapter 9. So I guess the question is; has my disability brought glory to God? That’s kind of what this blog has been all about, but did it reach anyone? In my vanity, I envisioned testifying to thousands of people and converting every one of them to Christ, but of course I know it doesn’t always work that way. This whole thing may have been for one particular person out there; someone who just needed to hear someone talk about God; someone who I may never even know exists. Hmm, I need to read “The 5 People You Meet In Heaven” again.
Well, all I can do is pray about it, and hope that I am doing the right thing. It all comes down to faith. I have to have faith that God will lead me to where He wants me to be. Faith is such a small thing; such a huge thing; the only thing.
John 9:1-3 And as Jesus passed by, He saw a man which was blind from his birth. And His disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither has this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Going Blind pt 3
Okay, let’s see if I can wrap this up. If you’ve been following along, you’ll remember that last time I had finally gotten my cornea transplant and could see out of both eyes again after two years with only one eye.
So yeah, I was pretty happy about that. My vision was good in both eyes for the next year but after that it was all down hill.
I started getting infections again in my left eye. We would get one infection cleared up and I’d be okay for one or two or six months, but then another one would pop up. In the meantime, my right eye began to deteriorate. The keratoconus gradually progressed to the point where my hard contact lens didn’t really help any more. I couldn’t get surgery though because of the constant infections in my left eye.
My doctor had always said that she wouldn’t do surgery in either eye until both had been healthy for a whole year. After a couple of years she said maybe she would settle for six months. But it never happened, the infections just kept coming.
Over the next four years or so I gradually lost the vision in my right eye. The transplant in my left eye was holding up pretty good even with all the problems but then I started to develop a cataract in that eye.
Sometime during the early months of 2008 it got bad enough that I couldn’t read books anymore. Through it all I think this has been the hardest thing for me. I’ve always been an avid reader. I have since grown to love audio books and I thank God for them all the time, but I still miss reading.
In May of that year I had to give up driving. That was a big chunk of independence lost and was pretty hard to take. In September I lost my job. I couldn’t have done it much longer anyway though, I was really struggling with it. In October I was declared legally blind.
In April 2009 Joni, Adam and I moved up here to Nebraska. We couldn’t afford to live in Dallas on my social security. I had very little vision left by then but God left me just enough to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. In June I finally lost the last little bit remaining.
And now I am just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to see what God has planned for me.
I need cataract surgery in my left eye and a cornea transplant in the right. I can’t get either because I have no medical coverage. I’ve been denied again and again. I can’t get Medicaid because I make too much money and I can’t get medicare until I’ve been disabled for two years. Private insurance plans are too expensive and also I have a lot of pre-existing medical problems, not just my eye problems, but also asthma.
But that’s okay because I have God in my life now. He promised to take care of us and I believe Him. That makes the waiting much easier to bear. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again. And what a glorious day that will be! I know I still have some things to figure out before that happens though, and I am doing my best to learn them.
I think that’s what this blog is all about. God wanted me to document what’s happening so that lots of people can bear witness. So the sooner you get all your friends to read my blog, the sooner I’ll get my sight back! Ha ha! Just kidding, but that’s what it’s really all about; giving the glory to God. Putting your faith in HIM, not in doctors or surgeries or insurance policies.
So that’s how I became blind. The End…NOT! No, I still have lots of things to share with you so I hope you’ll keep coming back each week. Until next time…
Psalms 118:8 It is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man.
Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works.
So yeah, I was pretty happy about that. My vision was good in both eyes for the next year but after that it was all down hill.
I started getting infections again in my left eye. We would get one infection cleared up and I’d be okay for one or two or six months, but then another one would pop up. In the meantime, my right eye began to deteriorate. The keratoconus gradually progressed to the point where my hard contact lens didn’t really help any more. I couldn’t get surgery though because of the constant infections in my left eye.
My doctor had always said that she wouldn’t do surgery in either eye until both had been healthy for a whole year. After a couple of years she said maybe she would settle for six months. But it never happened, the infections just kept coming.
Over the next four years or so I gradually lost the vision in my right eye. The transplant in my left eye was holding up pretty good even with all the problems but then I started to develop a cataract in that eye.
Sometime during the early months of 2008 it got bad enough that I couldn’t read books anymore. Through it all I think this has been the hardest thing for me. I’ve always been an avid reader. I have since grown to love audio books and I thank God for them all the time, but I still miss reading.
In May of that year I had to give up driving. That was a big chunk of independence lost and was pretty hard to take. In September I lost my job. I couldn’t have done it much longer anyway though, I was really struggling with it. In October I was declared legally blind.
In April 2009 Joni, Adam and I moved up here to Nebraska. We couldn’t afford to live in Dallas on my social security. I had very little vision left by then but God left me just enough to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. In June I finally lost the last little bit remaining.
And now I am just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to see what God has planned for me.
I need cataract surgery in my left eye and a cornea transplant in the right. I can’t get either because I have no medical coverage. I’ve been denied again and again. I can’t get Medicaid because I make too much money and I can’t get medicare until I’ve been disabled for two years. Private insurance plans are too expensive and also I have a lot of pre-existing medical problems, not just my eye problems, but also asthma.
But that’s okay because I have God in my life now. He promised to take care of us and I believe Him. That makes the waiting much easier to bear. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again. And what a glorious day that will be! I know I still have some things to figure out before that happens though, and I am doing my best to learn them.
I think that’s what this blog is all about. God wanted me to document what’s happening so that lots of people can bear witness. So the sooner you get all your friends to read my blog, the sooner I’ll get my sight back! Ha ha! Just kidding, but that’s what it’s really all about; giving the glory to God. Putting your faith in HIM, not in doctors or surgeries or insurance policies.
So that’s how I became blind. The End…NOT! No, I still have lots of things to share with you so I hope you’ll keep coming back each week. Until next time…
Psalms 118:8 It is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man.
Psalms 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works.
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