Journal - One Week Later

So it’s been a week already since the big crash. It was a long week in some regards, but in others it seemed to go by pretty quick because there was a lot going on.

Last Wednesday, the day after the wreck, the calls began with the lady’s insurance company and with the insurance adjuster. I have to admit they moved pretty fast on it. I exchanged several phone calls with both of them for a couple of days and then it was pretty much settled. They valued my truck at about $3400, which was pretty close to the book value that I had looked up on the internet so I had no complaints there.

2014 Ford Escape

No no no, this isn’t my new car, it’s actually the rental I got. I picked up this 2014 Ford Escape from Enterprise on Saturday. I probably could have gotten it way back on Tuesday or Wednesday but since we still have our other car I wasn’t in that much of a hurry. Actually we didn’t need the rental at all but I thought we may as well since the insurance company was picking up the tab. When we first went into the rental place I figured they would just give me a little compact or something but when the guy took us outside to show us what we had to choose from I was pretty impressed. It was either this or a Chevy Impala. I picked the Escape because it’s closer to a truck than the Impala and also because it’s such a pretty color of blue.

Lots of Buttons!

So anyway I got to drive this around for a few days. The interior was pretty amazing and also a little intimidating. I think it has more buttons on it than my computer has. There are buttons all over the steering wheel and all over the central panel and it also has two view screens where you can look at various information. Kind of distracting actually. I drove this around for a few days and then we took it back on Tuesday. It was a nice car and all but not something I would buy for myself.

Anyway, I got my final call from the insurance adjuster on Tuesday morning and he told me that he had my check. I had to work at 2pm yesterday so he agreed to meet me at Walmart at 1:30. At the appointed time I handed over the title to my truck and he handed me the check and that was that.

So now it’s time to begin car shopping. I had pretty much decided right away that I wanted another Ford Explorer. I started looking around online and discovered that there are actually quite a few Explorers for sale in this area. Of course, the trick will be finding a decent one that I can get for $3400. It almost certainly will not be a newer one. My old one was a ’99 and if I can get another ’99 that will be fine with me. I am hoping to get a four wheel drive this time, since my old one was not. Now that we live in snow country it would be nice to have that. I don’t think that will be a problem since every one I’ve seen online has four wheel drive. Actually I’m starting to wonder how I ended up with one that was not 4WD since it seems like they all have it.

So anyway, that’s where we are right now. I don’t have to work today so we’re going to Kearney to begin the search. There’s a little used car lot I found online that has 2 Explorers so we’re going to begin there. Wish us luck! Better yet, don’t leave it to luck, pray for us!

Ecclesiastes 3:11 It is beautiful how God has done everything at the right time. He has put a sense of eternity in people’s minds. Yet, mortals still can’t grasp what God is doing from the beginning to the end of time. ESV

Journal - Medicaid

So, a couple of weeks ago I was talking to Denise who works in Dr. Feilmeier’s billing office. She had called me to check on what kind of insurance I had, and whether I would actually be able to pay for my surgery and all that. I gave her my Medicare information and she reminded me that Medicare only pays 80%, and that I would be responsible for the remainder which would probably total at least $3,000.
During this conversation, Denise asked if I had applied for Medicaid, and I told her that I had Medicaid before, but now I had Medicare instead. She told me that some people do have Medicaid and Medicare both, something I thought was not possible.
Earlier this week, Wednesday I think it was, I called my case worker at the Department of Health and Human Services to ask about that. I left a message with Cindy as usual, and waited for a call back, which came on Friday.
Cindy confirmed what Denise had said, and told me that I had a choice. She told me that DHS could continue paying my Medicare premiums for me, which is $115 a month, or I could get my Medicaid back. It would be the same Medicaid I had before, with a monthly deductible of $788. That never did me much good before because my monthly medical expenses were never that much, but it will certainly be helpful when I have my surgery. So basically, Medicare will pay 80% of my surgery, then Medicaid will pay the rest, leaving just the deductible of $788 for me to cover.
Actually, the deductible will be $673, because the $115 Medicare premium, which I’ll have to start paying again, comes out of that. Then, after my surgery, I can cancel the Medicaid again, and DHS will start paying my Medicare premium once again. Confused yet? That’s okay, I have it all straight.


Things continue to fall into place, with very little effort on my part. I just have to shake my head when I think of all the times during the last three years or so that I tried to make something happen, only to be thwarted every time. Turns out I didn’t have to do anything at all, except wait on the Lord, just like He said.

Psalms 91:11 "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” ESV

Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” ESV

Journal - Surgery Discussions

Today, I got a couple of phone calls from the doctor’s office in Omaha.
The first call was from Denise who is in the billing office. I had spoken to her a couple of weeks ago about how I would pay for my surgery. Medicare only pays 80%, and Denise said that would leave me with about $3000 to cover, with $1500 being due up front. She called today just to confirm that I was aware of how much money I would need to come up with, although I’m thinking that this time she said $1000 was due up front. Anyway, I told her that I was aware.
The second call came a few minutes later. This one was from Elinore who is the transplant coordinator. There are a lot of different things that need to happen before surgery, and Elinor’s job is to make sure they all happen. Elinore told me a lot about how the process works, some of which I knew from my transplant seven years ago, and some of which I didn’t.
She said that once the doctor is informed that there is a cornea available, they basically have five days to get it in my eye, and a lot has to happen in those five days. The cornea is shipped to the doctor in Omaha. The doctor sends it to a lab in Denver to be tested; a lot of tests have to be performed on the cornea to make sure it is healthy. Then the cornea goes back to Omaha for the surgery. Elinore also told me that there’s always the possibility that the cornea will not pass all the tests, in which case the surgery has to be called off until another cornea is available, something I had to learn the hard way seven years ago. I asked her why they can’t just wait until the cornea is cleared before they notify me, and she said it’s because the time-frame is so short. As soon as they know there is a cornea, they go ahead and schedule the surgery to make sure the necessary staff and facilities will be available. They also will notify me at that time to make sure I’m available. If they waited until the cornea was tested and cleared, there just wouldn’t be enough time to pull everything together.
Back on May 9th, when I saw Dr. Feilmeier in Kearney, he had told me they would probably do my cataract surgery first, and then the cornea later. Since Elinore was telling me all about the transplant and hadn’t mentioned the cataract, I asked her about that. I think that caught her by surprise a little bit, but she looked at the doctor’s notes and said it looked like he was planning to do both at the same time. She admitted that the notes were not perfectly clear, however, so she said she would check on that and let me know. I always thought it would make sense to do both since the only way to get to the cataract is through the cornea anyway, but when I asked the doctor about that in May, he said the cataract is handled through a small incision on the outer edge of the cornea, rather than removing the cornea completely. That was an interesting bit of information. It would be nice to get both things done at the same time, but I suppose the more things they mess with, the more chance there is of complications. Well, I’m willing to trust the doctor’s judgement on that.
I asked Elinore if the surgery would be in the morning and she said there was really no way to tell. I was wondering because if it’s early, we’ll probably have to go to Omaha the day before. I know we’ll have to spend the night the day of the surgery, because I have to go back the next day for a follow-up. After that, my follow-ups can be in Kearney unless the doctor sees something he doesn’t like. They have a doctor in this area every two weeks so it just depends on if he’s comfortable letting me go that long.
And that’s about it. Elinore is sending me maps and information. She said that sometime before surgery I’ll have to get a physical, but they’ll let me know when it’s time for that. Not a bad idea since I haven’t had one for about 20 years. Oh, she also told me that there’s a hotel near the surgical center that gives a discounted rate to surgery patients, although at $45 a night the rate didn’t sound that special to me. Still, it would be nice to be close and not have to do a lot of driving around in the city. Hey, if the surgery goes well, maybe I can drive us home! Just kidding Mom, I knew that would get a rise out of you. I don’t even have a license.
Well, I think that’s about it. It’s starting to sound like this might actually happen. That’s a little scary for a lot of reasons.

Luke 11:34-35 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. ESV

Proverbs 20:12 The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the Lord hath made even both of them. KJV

Journal - Things Moving Forward

Well, I think I’ve got my Medicare all taken care of. My coverage actually began on March 1 and I really didn’t have to do anything as far as the medical coverage goes. I did, however, have to pick out a prescription plan. In fact, I’ve spent most of this month getting that prescription coverage lined up; applying for the coverage, then applying for additional assistance to help pay for it. Then I had to pick which plan I wanted from a list that Medicare provided. That involved making a few phone calls and asking some questions. You choose a plan mainly based on what pharmacies are available to you, but also by what meds you take, different plans cover different medicines. I was able to find a plan that covered the pharmacy I currently use, and that covered the prescriptions I currently use. Then I had to call Medicare to let them know which plan I was going with. It’s all official now, I have my prescription card, and my prescription coverage begins April 1. I’ll be able to get prescriptions for $6.30, and generics for $2.50. I know Medicare has its drawbacks, but that’s the best prescription coverage I’ve ever had. In addition to that, I’ve also been trying to get an appointment with an eye doctor. I had pretty much decided I was going to go with Eye Specialists of Nebraska in Hastings. I’ve heard some good things about them and when I looked them up online I discovered that Dr. Welch, whom I have also Heard a lot of good things about, was part of that practice. I called them up last week to see if I could get an appointment, but it didn’t work out. The receptionist, Barb, answered the phone, and I first asked if they accepted Medicare. Barb said they did, but the tone in her voice told me she wasn’t very happy about it. I’m sorry to say that there are health care professionals around that don’t think much of people on Medicaid or Medicare, and Barb is one of them. After she told me they do accept Medicare, the phone went dead. I called back right away and said, “I’m sorry I think I got cut off.” To which she replied, “Can I help you?” Anyway, Barb told me that Dr. Welch was the only doctor in the office now, I don’t know what happened to all the others. Also, I thought Dr. Welch was a cornea specialist, but he’s really a retina specialist which doesn’t help me. That was for the best, I couldn’t have handled dealing with Barb on a regular basis. So this week I called the Kearney Eye Institute. They have a cornea specialist that comes from Omaha once a month. The receptionist, who didn’t seem to have a problem with Medicare, told me I would need a referral from another doctor, so I called Dr. Halgren’s office in Omaha and asked if they could send my records. Halgren’s office called later and said they had done it, so this morning I called Kearney Eye Institute, and they said the records had been received. Then we made an appointment. Since Dr. Feilmeier (pronounced file-meyer) only comes to Kearney once a month, I couldn’t get an appointment until May 9. That’s okay, this is worth waiting for. So I’m all set. Maybe it will work out this time, and maybe it won’t. All I can do is make appointments and pray. The rest is up to God. Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow;, it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. NIV

Journal - Catching Up

Well, I guess I haven’t written for a while. The passing of time continues to befuddle me. Let me see if I can recall what’s been going on.
There isn’t much to report on Audiobook Heaven. After the flurry of activity during the first six weeks of the year, things have settled down a bit. That’s okay, I like some excitement now and then, but we always need that time to recharge the batteries. I continue to receive audiobooks from Blackstone, typically six books per month. I got a couple of L Ron Hubbard books from Galaxy Press last month, and just received two more today, although one of them is a repeat. I’ll have to contact them and see if I should send that one back. Last week I got my first two books from HighBridge Audio. The only new thing I have to report is my latest discovery, Graphic Audio. One of the books I got from Susan Dunman was from that publisher, and I had never heard of them before. I looked them up in Google and took a look at their website. They specialize in creating full cast audio productions, complete with sound effects and music, of comic book graphic novels. Can you imagine how excited I was about that? I contacted them, and they responded right away saying that they would send me some review copies. I didn’t get to pick out what I wanted, but I was pretty happy to get anything from them. Hopefully they’ll keep sending me stuff.
My Medicare became effective on March 1. I’ve spent the first half of the month getting information and making my choices for part D prescription coverage. I have part A for hospitalization; that part is free. Part B for doctor visits carries a monthly premium of $115, and it looks like there is also a yearly deductible of about $162. On part D, I qualified for extra assistance so there’s no premium or deductible. My scripts will be $6.30 for brand name, and $2.50 for generic. That ended up being better than I expected. My prescription coverage begins April 1, so I’ll be looking for a doctor over the next week or so and will try to make an appointment for sometime in April.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this in my blog or not, but for the last 3 or 4 months, God has been trying to get me to play my saxophone at church. I’ve been dragging my feet as usual. I’m not very good at stepping out of my comfort zone. This began right before Christmas and I thought I might play some Christmas music, but that kind of fell through. It was pretty short notice, only one week before Christmas so there wasn’t time to get anything set up. Before I could play, I had to meet with the music director, Kent. Well, after that I let a couple of months pass, then I finally approached Kent again about it. We met at the church on March 4 and I played for him. He sounds like he’s okay with me playing at church, but we haven’t set anything up yet. The ball is in his court, though, I’m just waiting for him to say when.
Speaking of church, on February 27 we had our first service in the new sanctuary. When we first went to this church about a year and a half ago, they were just announcing plans to build a bigger sanctuary onto the church, and it’s finally done. The new sanctuary has theater-style seating for a little over 900 people. I’m looking forward to seeing it. I’m not sure how many our old sanctuary could seat.
For the last several days, Charles Stanley has been doing a series of sermons about guilt, and it’s got me thinking about some things. It seems clear that God wouldn’t want us to feel guilt for sins that He has forgiven us for. Guilt is, after all, a negative emotion, and God doesn’t typically deal in negative emotions. But it sort of seems like a little guilt might be a good thing. In the complete absence of guilt, are we not more likely to repeat our sins of the past? I’ll hav to do some thinking on that.
It’s now been about three days since the disastrous earthquake in Japan. A monstrous 8.9 on the Richter. It sounds like they are stil struggling to contain the nuclear power plants. 8.9 makes this the fourth most powerful earthquake in recorded history.
Okay, I guess that’s about it. See you next time.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. NIV

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door an knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in with him and dine with him, and he with me. NKJV

Journal - Eye Doctors, Audiobooks, and Sick Puppies

I can’t exactly remember what I said the last time I talked about the eye doctor and such. I had an appointment in Omaha on January 5th, but I cancelled that one several weeks ago. That whole thing was just not feeling good to me. On March 1, I will become eligible for Medicare so I’m just going to wait until then before I do anything else. Two more months doesn’t seem like very long to wait. Hard to believe it’s been two years since I was declared legally blind. That happened back in October of 2008, but I didn’t start receiving disability payments from social security until March of 2009, so that’s when my two years began. You have to be disabled for two years before you can be eligible for Medicare. With Medicare I think I’ll have more freedom to go where I want, instead of letting someone else pick the doctor. So that’s where we stand on that.

Audiobook-Heaven is still humming right along. I finally got a response from another publisher. Someone from Hachette (ha-shet’) Book Group responded to one of my inquiries and said they would be willing to send me some audiobooks for review. On Friday I requested three books, and today Megan responded and said she would send them. I’ll have lots of audiobooks to keep me occupied I think.

I don’t really know what to think about Sassie. She’s just so listless since her accident last Tuesday. For the last several days, she has taken to lying on the back porch where it’s cold. She just lays there all day and all night and never comes into the house, except maybe just to poke her head in while we’re eating. Joni did some reading online and read that when dogs are in pain they seek out confined areas, and they also seek out cold places. That explains the porch. Of course, it’s pretty hard to tell just how much pain she is in. We’re still giving her soft foods, but she just isn’t very interested in eating. We always have to coax her to get her to eat anything, and she’s not drinking much water either. I feel so helpless and just don’t know what to do for her. I’ve been praying very hard for God to heal her, but I honestly don’t know how much God is willing to intervene for an animal. He created them too, didn’t He? I guess that’s all I can do, keep praying and hope for a miracle.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. NIV

Journal - Recap

Okay, so I already talked about how I met Lion Lady at the dentist’s office that day, was that in July, or was it August? Anyway we got to talking and she said that the Lions would pay for my surgery. I said that was great but I was really more concerned with all the doctor visits before and after the surgery. She said the Lions would pay for that too. I thought that over for a few days and then I called her up and said “Let’s do it!” So she gave me the contact info for the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, and I called and made an appointment for September 20.

Meanwhile, Lion Lady was researching my case and learning about my goofy Medicaid and all that. She learned that if I had some kind of insurance policy, even if it was just a cancer policy or something, with a monthly premium of $277 or so, that I would qualify for no-cost Medicaid. So she called me and said the Lions could get me a policy and pay the premium for six months or so and then all my medical expenses would be covered for that period of time. I told her that was a great idea. Soon after that, I heard from Lion Lady again. She said she had approached her group with my case and they had offered a one-time payment of $125 toward my doctor bills. That all happened before my first trip to Omaha on September 20. Lion Lady said she would keep working on it, so I went ahead and made the trip with the $125 they had given me, which ended up being about one-tenth of the total cost for that visit.

I can’t remember the exact chain of events after that, but here’s the gist of it. Lion Lady called to tell me that her group had agreed to pay $350 toward my deductible for one month, and that the national Lions group would match that, for a total of $700 which would almost cover my deductible for one month. The next time I talked to her, she didn’t sound like she understood my situation at all. She said the Lions were going to pay $1400, and that they would apply that to whichever month I had the most expense. I tried to explain that my out-of-pocket expense would never be more than $788, because that’s what my deductible is, but she didn’t seem to understand that. And she talked about $1400 as if we had spoken of it before. It was a very confusing conversation. Anyway, sometime during all this, I had my second appointment in Omaha on October 13. I think that last conversation took place shortly after that appointment.

That was the last time I spoke with Lion Lady, but apparently she told my mom that the Lions were going to pay for my surgery, but no doctor bills at all. That’s kind of silly because the surgery won’t cost me any more than the doctor visits.

So to summarize, here’s what I have heard:

1. The Lions will pay for your surgery and all your doctor visits.
2. The Lions will get you an insurance policy and all your medical expenses will be covered.
3. The Lions will pay $125 and that’s it.
4. The Lions will pay $700 toward one month’s deductible.
5. The Lions will pay $1400 toward whichever month you have the most expense.
6. The Lions will pay for surgery, but no doctor visits.

I’m pretty frustrated. I was supposed to go back to Omaha today, November 10, for my third visit, but I cancelled the appointment. The only reason I went to Omaha was because the Lions told me to. Since they’re not paying for it, I figure I may as well get this done closer to home, in Kearney or Hastings. I’m also debating on whether or not I should just wait until April when I will be eligible for Medicare. I don’t know if the Medicare will be any better than Medicaid, but it can’t be any worse.

Part of me wishes I had never run into Lion Lady at the dentist’s office that day. I was waiting patiently, and everything was fine. Now everything feels all screwed up again. Another part of me, or maybe it’s the same part, is angry at God. Sometimes I feel like I have been completely abandoned, even though the other part of me knows that isn’t true. It sort of feels like I am right back at square one.

Oh well, the sun will continue to rise each morning (probably), my body will continue to draw breath each day (supposedly), and the earth will keep spinning on its axis (presumeably). Maybe on one of those days that are most likely coming, something good will happen.

Journal - Waiting For A Miracle

Tuesday night I didn’t sleep very well. Don’t know why, just couldn’t sleep. I went to bed at 12:30 which is about my usual time. When I go to bed, I put on my headphones and listen to an audiobook, or a DVS movie, and I’m usually ready to go to sleep in no time at all. Last night, I put on my headphones and listened to an entire movie, and I still wasn’t sleepy. I started another movie and got most of the way through that one before I finally started to nod off. Even after all that, I still woke up early, about 6:30 I think. Instead of going right back to sleep like I usually would, I felt pretty awake, so I put my headphones back on and finished the movie I started.

I did go back to sleep for a while, but I couldn’t sleep late because I had a 10:00 dentist appointment Wednesday morning. The dentist made all the final preparations on my tooth to get it ready for a crown. The procedures took a full hour and a half. There was very little pain involved, but it was a long time to sit in that chair. Right now I have a temporary crown, and when I go back on the 29th I get the permanent one. That should be a quick and simple visit and then I’ll be done with dentists for a while.

Now I need to back up for a minute. On Tuesday, I got a call from Lion Lady. She had been talking with my social worker about my Medicaid. Social Worker Lady told Lion Lady about how if I had a private insurance plan costing $277 per month, I would qualify for full Medicaid, instead of the useless kind I have now. It took Lion Lady about 10 seconds to figure out that this would be a much more cost effective way to get me seeing again, and back in the work force, something none of the various government agencies have been able to figure out. So Lion Lady called this outfit in Hastings called Fiddler’s to see if they could help me out with that. Lion Lady is very much on the ball. She said that the Lion’s could pay for six months worth of insurance, which would probably get me well on my way. Good plan!

Anyway, when I was talking to Lion Lady about all this, she said to let her know right away how it went with Fiddler’s because she was meeting with her Lion’s Club that very evening to pitch my case. That came as a surprise to me, because I thought this was a done deal and no pitching would be necessary.

Back to Wednesday. When I got home from the dentist, I had two messages on my phone. One was from Fiddler’s, and the other was from Lion Lady wondering if I had heard from Fiddler’s. Before I could do much of anything, my phone rang and it was Lion Lady again. She said her Lion’s group had declined to help me, except for the $125 she had initially pledged toward my appointment next Monday. She said the problem was that her group is in Ravenna, and they don’t like to help people outside of that small town. Lion Lady was very displeased with her group, I could tell by her voice before she came right out and said it. We talked for several more minutes about other options and possibilities. She made it clear that she wasn’t giving up, and would keep fighting for me.

So after that, Joni and I were talking about possibly approaching other Lion’s chapters in the area, when Joni wondered aloud if Minden had a chapter. Duh! I was looking around the Lion’s website a couple of weeks ago, and I remembered seeing Minden on the list. Since we actually live in Minden, we thought that might be a possibility.

Later that afternoon, Lion Lady came out to the house to deliver the $125 check. I think she offered to bring it out instead of us going to pick it up because she felt so bad about what happened. While she was here, I asked about Minden, and she said yup, Minden has a chapter, and in fact, she used to belong to it, and knows several people in the organization. So one hope was dashed, and another kindled.

The upshot is this: I am going forward with my appointment on the 20th. I will go to the doctor and wait for a miracle. God tells us that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, and I believe it. That’s what faith is all about, isn’t it? Just kind of throwing yourself out there with the full expectation that God will carry you through. My period of waiting served its purpose, and now it is time for a leap of faith.

By the way, the other day I asked our church if they could help me with my dental bills. Today, I got an email saying that they would indeed help me out with a large portion of it. That email came today because God wanted me to know that He is still there, watching out for me.

Luke 17:5-6 The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!” He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.

Journal - News, Weather, and Sports

Yesterday, I called my case worker, Cindy, at Health and Human Services with a few questions. First I asked about the new health bill and how that might effect the Medicaid program. She said there have been no changes. Apparently even though President Obama signed the bill, it’s till kind of up in the air as to what will happen. Also, most of the changes that are supposed to be implemented won't take effect until 2014.

Last week, when BCBS denied me they suggested something called CHIPS. I told them I never really liked that show very much. Just kidding, Chips is some kind of insurance program but I thought it was specifically for children. I asked Cindy about it and she said there are two programs called Chips. The one BCBS was talking about is actually handled by BCBS and it’s for people who can’t get insurance. The drawback is that it usually has very high premiums. I was kind of planning on that anyway so I guess I will look into that further and see what happens. Unfortunately, that means I have to contact my arch enemies, BCBS, again.

The third thing I asked about was Medicare. I had heard recently that when you become eligible for Medicare you have to pay a hundred dollars a month for it in the form of a deduction from your social security. That isn’t necessarily true, however. Any amount you have to pay for Medicare is based on your income. She said that my income is below the maximum so I won’t have to pay anything for it. I still have another year before I am eligible, though. I forgot to ask her if that is the same in every state.

Last Thursday, I filled out an application online to renew our food stamps since they are getting ready to run out. They don’t call it food stamps anymore. Now it’s called SNAP. Supplemental Nutritional Aid Program or something like that. Isn’t it funny how we always try to put fancy names on things? I guess the name “food stamps” is kind of outdated, though. These days they give you a debit card and each month they just deposit more credit to your account. We’re getting closer to that cashless society every day. Anyway, since I called Cindy yesterday, she went ahead and went over the application and asked what she needed to ask about that to finalize it. It was all so easy. I can’t help but think how much trouble I had with that same system in Dallas.

The weather is shaping up very nicely here in Nebraska. Our temps have been in the sixties and are starting to push into the seventies now. Unfortunately, spring in Nebraska means wind. I remember when we moved up here at the end of April last year. We had some pretty powerful wind storms in those first few weeks. Those were kind of scary but our house proved to be very strong. It isn’t insulated very well, but it's solid.

I was a little sad last night. If the Huskers had won their basketball game Sunday, they would have been playing Oklahoma last night. I was looking forward to that game, but instead Oklahoma played Kentucky. Oklahoma won, so the last four teams in the tournament are Oklahoma, Connecticut, Baylor, and Stanford. Connecticut is the clear favorite. They are the returning champions and have won every game for the last two years. Maybe Baylor will knock them off in the championship game.

Well, that’s all the updates I have for now. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars. Bonus points to whoever can tell me where that phrase came from.

2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

Job 11:18 You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Gift Horses

Here’s something that Uncle Butch emailed to me the other day. I kind of got a kick out of this, and as it turned out, it got me thinking about things and it soon became clear to me why God wanted me to see it.

A man was driving to an important meeting and was running late. He finally pulled into the parking lot only to find that it was completely full. He began to pray, “Please God, please let me find a parking spot!” He continued to pray fervently as he searched the lot, until he rounded a corner and there, right in front of him, was an empty spot. “Never mind God,” he said as he parked his car, “I found one.”

I got a good chuckle out of that, but it’s like Uncle Butch said, it’s a joke, but it’s not really a joke. I guess this would be like me praying for God to restore my sight, and then saying “Never mind God, I got this insurance policy to take care of it.” Maybe God wants me to get an insurance policy and have surgery. I struggled with that concept for a long time. I felt like pursuing an insurance policy was showing a lack of faith in God. And maybe it is. To tell you the truth, I’m still struggling with it. What I finally decided is that there’s no real harm in trying to get the insurance, as long as I remember to keep my faith in God, where it belongs. If God wants me to see again, then I will see again. Getting some insurance so I can have a surgery might be the way God chooses to do it. Who am I to say?

How often does God try to answer our prayers and we don't even realize it? Maybe God prompts a family member to offer us money in a tight spot, and we are too proud to accept. Or maybe He provides an opportunity to get some overtime at work, but we are too lazy, or think we are too busy. Maybe a friend shows an interest in our baseball card collection, but we are too attached to our possessions. God is trying to help us all the time. Sometimes we just don't like His suggestions.

I’m reminded of another story. Hold on, let me see if I can find a copy of it.

Well, I found a copy, but it was really long and wordy so I’m going to paraphrase:

A minister was caught in his church by a flood. He climbed to the roof of the building to escape the rising waters. Soon, one of his parishioners came by in a rowboat.
“Hop in, Pastor, and we’ll get to safety.”
“Go on ahead, my son. The Lord will save me.”
The flood waters continued to rise and soon were all the way up to the roof of the church. A police motorboat came by.
“We’ll throw you a line and get you to safety!”
“No thank you, the Lord will save me when the time is right."
The waters rose higher and higher and the minister was forced to climb up into the church’s bell tower to escape the flood. A coast guard helicopter spotted him.
“Don't panic, we'll lower a basket and lift you out of there!”
“Please help someone else, the Lord promised to protect me if I kept my faith in Him.”
The waters continued to rise and eventually swept the minister away.

The punch line of the story is that the minister went to heaven and askd God, “I kept my faith, why didn’t you save me?”

We’ve all heard the old saying, “Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.” Examining a horse’s teeth can tell you a lot about the age and condition of the horse. It’s a good idea to check if you are buying one, but if someone gives you a horse as a gift, it's better to just be thankful for the gift and not try to judge the gift’s value. I guess the same holds true with God. We don’t know what His plan is, and you just never know when that horse might be a gift from God.

Psalms 34:17-18 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Journal - BCBS Blues, NCAA Pinks

Well.

On Monday I got a letter from BCBS saying that they have denied my application for insurance. Last week, they had asked for records from Doctor Hargrave. We mailed a copy of that request to her office in Dallas on Friday the 19th. The denial letter I got on Monday was dated the 19th. They asked for the records but didn’t wait to get them. They didn’t even mention the records, they said I was denied because of my pre-existing conditions which they have known about all along. Is it a coincidence that their denial letter was dated just two days before Barrack Obama signed the new health bill? No, I don’t believe in coincidences, as I have mentioned before. I don't really think there is anything in the new health bill that would have a direct effect on my case, but BCBS wasn’t taking any chances I suppose. Well, I kept saying that I wished they would make a decision, one way or the other and I got my wish. What's next? I have no idea. More waiting. I'll just have to wait and see where God leads me next.

That was the bad news. Now for the good news! Nebraska won their second round game against UCLA on Tuesday night! It was a pretty exciting game too. Well, the first half was, anyway.

UCLA struck like lightning in the opening minutes of the game and took a 13 to 4 lead very quickly. The Lady Huskers battled back, though, and tied it up at 15 before going on to take a ten point lead. The first half ended with a five point lead for Nebraska. UCLA came out fighting again in the second half and came to within one point, but it was all Nebraska after that. UCLA never gave up, they kept scoring points, but Nebraska was just too much for them. The final score was 82 to 70 or something like that.. Nebraska was hitting the three pointers again. They struggled with that in the first half, but started hitting them almost at will in the second. And not just one or two players, either, I think seven or eight different players hit three point shots.

With this win, Nebraska advances to the sweet sixteen, which is just a fancy way of saying there are only sixteen teams left playing for the national championship. Those sixteen teams come together in Kansas City this weekend. Nebraska is supposed to play Sunday night against Kentucky, but no time was set yet. This marks the first time a Nebraska basketball team, men’s or women’s, has made it to the sweet sixteen. Pretty amazing. Wouldn’t it be great if they won the national championship? Even if they don’t, I hope they can keep having this kind of success for many years to come. What a boon to the University and to Nebraska sports. Seeing any Husker team do that well really leaves me feeling in the pink. Wasn’t that a clever tie-in to my title?

For those of you who don’t live around here, my hometown of Gibbon, which I live very close to now, built a new school and began using it this year. Gibbon is a small town so they only need one school for all grades. The old school, where my siblings and I attended, and also where my parents and their siblings attended, and where my sister's kids have attended, has been standing vacant this year. I know they really neded a new building, but it’s sad to think of the old school just sitting there empty.

Now it sounds like someone may be interested in doing something with it, though. There is an email going around to everyone in Gibbon and the neighboring towns with a link to an online survey. The survey asks several questions about what kinds of activities or services the people around here might be interested in. Maybe they are thinking of using the old school for a community center or something like that. That would be awesome if they can pull it off, although it honestly doesn’t seem like there are enough people around here to support something like that. I sure wish them lots of luck in their venture though!

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Journal - Too Much Time

Is it any wonder I’m not crazy?
Is it any wonder I’m sane at all?
Well, I’m so tired of losing, I got nothing to do
And all day to do it.
Styx – “Too Much Time On My Hands”

So last week I got another letter from BCBS. The last letter I got a couple of weeks ago asked for my general health medical records for the last five years. The letter I got last week asked for records from my eye doctor for the last five years. Now why on earth couldn’t they have asked for both of those at the same time? Because they are being deliberately difficult, that’s why. I suppose they’re hoping I will just give up on the whole thing if they drag it out long enough. No such luck, BCBS, I got nothin’ better to do. Joni took the letter to the library today to make a copy. We’ll have to mail it to Doctor Hargrave in Dallas. Poor Doctor Hargrave, my file is absolutely huge and they’re going to have to mail or fax all that paperwork. I know they’ll be glad to do it, though, they’re good people.

I’m still working out regularly on the exercise bike, five days a week. My workouts are up to forty minutes and I’m starting to see some progress. My fat l'il belly isn't quite so fat as it used to be and my muscles are stronger. I’m not going to make my workouts any longer because I’m afraid I’ll start to get bored with it. Instead, I'll work on pushing harder. Also, I'm not eating as much junk food as I used to. In fact I don't really eat snacks at all anymore, only once in a while. Come to think of it, I usually eat snacks when I’m up late at night writing my blogs. I’ve got crackers and cheese tonight. I guess it’s easier to take care of yourself when you have lots of free time.

I missed the Big 12 basketball tournament games because I never was able to find out when they were being played. I have found out since, however, that Nebraska won their first round game, but lost in the second round to Texas A&M. Texas A&M went on to win the tournament. I don’t know anything about basketball so I'm confused about something. Nebraska was named Big 12 champions for having the best record, but Texas A&M won the tournament and was named Big 12 tournament champions. What’s up with that? I’m having trouble finding out when Nebraska will be playing in the NCAA tournament coming up later this week, so if you know please tell me. All I have been able to find out is that they are playing Northern Iowa in the first round, don’t know when, though. Oh, I also found out that Nebraska's Kelsay Griffin was named Big 12 player of the year or something like that. She really is good from what I can tell on the radio.

I had quite a mess on my hands today. I was messing around with some of my audio books and dropped a whole stack of CD’s on the floor, about fifty in all. It took me a good hour and a half to get them back in order again. That’s okay, it gives me something to do.

On a final note, my friend Benning, okay he’s Joni's friend from her online writing classes but he's been reading a lot of my book reviews over at “Reviews From The Deep”. Anyway, he said some nice things about my book reviews on his own blog, “Benning’s War.” Benning is very much up on today’s issues and if you like to keep up to date you should go take a look. And don’t forget to leave him a note to let him know yu were there. Bloggers like getting comments, it makes us feel validated.

Psalms 39:4-5 Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.

James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

Journal - Odds and Ends

Well, I ordered some new speakers for the computer today. It’s gotten very difficult to make my headphones work, and I know it won’t be long before they don’t work at all. Naturally, I tried different pairs of headphones, but that’s not the problem, it’s the jack in the speaker. It really sucks to have to spend money on something like that, but I have to be able to use headphones at the computer. Without them, I won’t be able to hear well enough, and if I turn it up louder everyone will have to listen to it. I’ve been agonizing over this for the last five days, so I kind of feel better that the decision is made. They should get here early next week.

I also ordered Joni’s birthday present. I think she'll really like it, it's a…

Oops! I better not tell. Somebody who reads this might tell her what it is.

On Tuesday Joni and I ran into Gibbon to visit the doctor. We’re not sick, we just needed to give her that paperwork for BCBS. I’ve only been to this doctor a couple of times so there wasn’t much. She made copies for us, then we took it over to the post office and mailed it. So the ball is back in their court again. Can’t wait to see what they say next.

I’m looking forward to a good basketball game tonight. The Lady Huskers are playing Kansas. Kansas hasn’t had a very good year, but Nebraska played them earlier this year and, from what I’ve read, Kansas almost won. Also, it sounds like Kansas has to win this game to get into the NCAA tournament so they will be fighting hard. Nebraska is in the tournament no matter what so there’s no pressure. They still have their record to think of, though. Nebraska is two games away from a perfect season. I wonder if the basketball team has ever done that before?

Oh, one more thing. Today is my big sister’s anniversary! Happy Anniversary Bobbi and Mike! I know you guys have many more happy years ahead of you. Especially now that most of the kids are gone! Hahaha! Have a great day guys!

Colossians 3:14 over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

That’s it for today. See you next time!

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

Journal - Weathering The Storm

Well, I don’t really have much to write about, but I’m going to try anyway. I’ve been a little down in the dumps this week and just haven’t felt like doing this. So today I decided to force myself. That has worked for me in the past, just making myself do it when I don't really feel like it.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how the little things can make such a big difference. I guess that holds true with negative things too. Sometimes they can just kind of pile up on you. Last week I got another letter from BCBS. Now they want my entire medical history for the last five years. I’ll have to contact some doctors. Then earlier this week the band on my talking watch broke. It’s held together now by electrical tape, but it still works. And now the headphone jack on my computer speaker is going bad and I don’t think it will keep working much longer. Those are little things, I’m just a little more sensitive to them than I used to be.

I did get some good news, though. On the same day I got that letter from BCBS, I also got one from the pharmaceutical company that makes my asthma medicine, Advair. Several weeks ago, my doctor helped me apply for free or discounted medicine. The letter I got last week was to inform me that I had been approved for Advair at no cost. It went on to say that my first three month supply would be arriving shortly, and I could get free refills for one year. On Tuesday of this week, the package arrived. It had three Advair inhalors, plus a Ventolin which is my rescue inhalor. I wasn’t expecting the Ventolin so that was like a surprise within a surprise. That’s a pretty big load off my mind.

And that’s all I have for today. I’ll try to force myself to put something down tomorrow too. Maybe if I keep at it for a few days, it will start to flow a little more naturally again. I have something nice planned for Saturday, but I put that together a couple weeks ago and have been saving it.

My closing verse today is from the fifty-seventh Psalm. I heard it on the radio the other day when I was listening to a message by Doctor Charles Stanley. He’s on every evening at seven pm and I’ve grown to like him. On this particular night, his message was about weathering storms. Coincidence?

Psalms 57:1-4
1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,for in you my soul takes refuge;in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,till the storms of destruction pass by.2 I cry out to God Most High,to God who fulfills his purpose for me.3 He will send from heaven and save me;he will put to shame him who tramples on me. SelahGod will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!
4 My soul is in the midst of lions;I lie down amid fiery beasts—the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,whose tongues are sharp swords.

Journal - Superbowl Sunday

Well, here it is superbowl Sunday already! I’m looking forward to a really good game tonight, but let’s take care of some business first, okay? Business before pleasure as they say.

I called my BCBS agent Monday about those two letters I got. He laughed it off as a mistake, and I believed him. His name is Steve Kielbasa, by the way. I asked him if he’d eaten any good sausages lately, but he didn’t think that was very funny. Anyway, he took the information that was missing from my application and said he would send it along to the underwriters. I asked if I would have to wait another four weeks to hear something from them, and he said probably not. Back to the waiting game, though, for now.

Something else really perturbed me this week. The screen reader I’ve been using, System Access To Go, is going through some changes. I started using SA To Go because it was free, and once I got used to it I really began to like it. In my own opinion, it’s marginally better than Jaws. Friday, however, when I logged in to my SA To Go account, I discovered a really yucky synthesized voice that was difficult to understand. To get the nice sounding voice back, you now have to pay forty dollars. I thought that was kind of a low blow, but it’s still about 1,160 dollars cheaper than Jaws, so I decided to pay. I still didn’t get the good voice, though. Every time I log in it still asks me if I want to upgrade. I did get an email receipt and an invoice number for my payment and there’s a phone number on the receipt to call if you have problems. I have to wait until Monday to call, however, because they don’t keep hours on the weekend. Hopefully I can get that straightened out without any problem. What really worries me is what other features they might decide to start charging for.

Humm, I guess that’s about all the business I have to discuss. It’s been a slow week. I haven’t really been playing my sax lately. I’ve been spending most of my time browsing through the library’s audio book collection and writing book reviews like mad. I’ve been getting on the exercise bike pretty regularly for the last three weeks, so I’m feeling good about that. It always feels good to know you’re doing something that’s good for you, doesn’t it? Now if I could just start eating better.

Since Christmas, the weather has straightened out a little bit with temps in the 30’s and 40’s, but this week we have had another cold snap and more snow. Just a couple inches of snow, though, and no high winds to make it drift. I don’t mind that kind of snow as much. Sure can’t wait for spring, though.

Okay, football! Colts versus Saints. I picked the Colts to go to the superbowl, but I really thought the Vikings would beat the Saints. Or maybe I was just hoping. I like Brett Favre a lot and I know he doesn’t have too many years left in him, so I was kind of hoping he could go to the superbowl this year and cap off his career on a high note. Colts versus Saints will be a good game, though. Since Favre is out, I’d like to see Peyton Manning and the Colts win this one. Should be a good game either way as they are both great teams.

Naturally, I always look forward to the superbowl, but it’s also kind of sad because it will be eight months before there’s another football game. I never developed an interest in baseball or basketball, so I just wait for football to start again. Wait, Wait, Wait, it seems like that’s all I do.

Okay, I don’t normally do this, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a superbowl prediction. Colts 27, Saints 24. See you next year, Brett.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Helping Myself

So, I recently talked about the old saying “the Lord helps those who help themselves." Like I said, that topic has been on my heart for quite a while now. I guess the reasons for that should be fairly obvious for anyone who has been following my blog, but I’m going to talk about it anyway.

I lost my eyesight very gradually, over a period of several years. In September of 2008 I lost my job. That seemed like a devastating blow at the time, but honestly, I couldn’t have kept it up much longer anyway; I was really struggling with it by then. I immediately started applying to various government agencies, including social security, for assistance.

My social security claim was approved reasonably quickly, and our application for food stamps went through with no problem. In addition to that, the Lord moved several members of my family to help us as well. All of our most basic needs were taken care of.

What I really had trouble with, was getting some type of medical coverage. Like I said, my social security claim was approved pretty fast, but there was still a six month waiting period before benefits would begin. In the meantime, I was receiving SSI, or Supplemental Security Income. While I was on SSI, I automatically qualified for Medicaid. I couldn’t get any surgery done on my eyes at this time, though, because I was still having trouble with infections. When my social security disability payments finally began in March 2009, they cancelled my medicaid with very little notice. I hadn't been aware that was going to happen.

So I started making phone calls. For several weeks, I tried to find out if I could still qualify for Medicaid, all to no avail. I just couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone. I talked to lots of different agencies and all they could tell me was “we don’t handle that.” I did find out that there are lots of different kinds of Medicaid, and that they are all handled by different agencies, but I was never able to find the correct agency for my situation. The only thing I found out for sure, was that I could not get medicare until I had been disabled for two years.

That was all back in Texas, when I lived just north of Dallas. Not a good place to be if you’re down on your luck. There are so many people looking for help, their system has become completely bogged down. I suppose it’s the same in any large city. Anyway, in April, God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So we packed up our things and, on April 26th, moved North. It was sad to leave my home of the last eight years, and it was scary leaving my eye doctor, who had been caring for my eyes almost that entire time, and who I trusted completely, but I had high hopes of being able to get more help in a less populated area.

We took a couple of weeks to settle into our new home, and then I began making phone calls again. I noticed a difference right away, I could actually reach people on the phone here and get straight answers from them. Unfortunately, the answer was still no. My social security payments, not quite enough to pay our bills, were too high for me to qualify for Medicaid. We did get food stamps though, again with no trouble at all.

Naturally, that was discouraging, but I didn’t get as discouraged as you might think. It was clear to me, that God was telling me to wait. There was really no other conclusion I could draw from this. Take a look at what happened, God provided us with everything we needed. All of our basic necessities, namely food and shelter, came to us very easily. When God decided to bring us to Nebraska, he sent my brother and his family to help us move. He helped Mom find us a great house to live in at a very reasonable cost. A house that has carried us through some very harsh storms, I might add. When we first arrived here, there were boxes of food and an envelope full of money waiting for us, all donated by Mom’s church, the church I had attended as a child. Everything we needed came to us.

I really wanted some medical coverage, though, so I could get surgery, and I would be able to see again. I tried and tried, but it just never worked out. That’s because God wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. He will always provide the things we need, but not necessarily the things we THINK we need. Our needs and God’s needs can be very different sometimes.

I still get impatient sometimes, and try to take matters into my own hands. Sevral months ago, I applied for a private insurance plan from State Farm, only to be denied once again. Too many pre-existing conditions. Even now, as I write this, I have an application in with BCBS and am waiting to hear back from them. If God is ready for this to happen, then they will approve my application. If not, then I will wait. I try to be strong and have patience, but I’m only human and I have my moments of weakness.

“The Lord helps those who help themselves?” Absolutely. I am helping myself by putting my faith in Him and trusting Him to fulfill his promises to me. He never promised to restore my eyesight, but He did promise to take care of me, as long as I have faith, and that’s good enough for me.

Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Journal - Insurance Update

If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll already know that I put in an application with Blue Cross and Blue Shield back in December, and for the past four weeks have been waiting to hear whether they were going to approve it or not. Well, I finally have an update.

Yesterday, I got two letters from BCBS. The first was a request for more information. It said I had left a couple of spots blank, and they could not complete the application without it. It went on to say that they needed the information within fifteen days or they would have to cancel my application. No problem there, I was glad to hear from them.

The second letter said that since they had not received the requested information within the allotted fifteen days, they were, regretfully, canceling my application. I guess fifteen days isn’t what it used to be. I received both letters on the same day, yesterday, and both were dated January 25.

Well, my initial reaction was, of course, anger and frustration. Ironically enough, I just finished a book called “The Rainmaker” by John Grisham. It’s about a crooked insurance company that rejected someone’s claim and a kid ended up dying because he couldn’t get the medical treatment he needed. Keep your eye on my other blog, Reviews From The Deep for the review. *wink* Is God trying to tell me I should sue the pants off of BCBS? No, I don’t think so; it was a funny coincidence, though.

Those initial feelings washed over me pretty quickly, when I remembered that this whole thing is completely out of my control anyway. When God is ready for me to see again, then I will see again, regardless of anything I, or my insurance company, try to do about it. Ironically, I wrote a rather lengthy blog on precisely this topic earlier this week and am planning to post it on Saturday. Another funny coincidence? No, I think God probably planned it that way in preparation of the challenge He knew I would soon be facing. His timing, as usual, was impeccable.

So what next? Well, I still feel like God is telling me to wait. Stubborn mule that I am, however, I will probably call BCBS in the morning and try to get to the bottom of this. Anyway, I have a lot of pent-up frustration, and would just love to unload it on some unsuspecting insurance agent. Who knows, maybe it was a simple clerical error.

So that’s my update. Sorry I didn’t have better news for you. I'll probably have more to report later. In the meantime, I need to do some thinking on how I’m going to handle that phone call in the morning..

Isaiah 30:18 And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.

Luke 6:21 Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.

Journal - Audio Books and Football

Hi there everyone! I don’t have anything really important to talk about today. I do have a few minor things that I wanted to put down in the record, though.

I haven’t heard anything back from BCBS on the insurance. I’m not feeling too bad about that, though. Over Christmas I was feeling down and just wanted to get it all taken care of as quickly as possible. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm willing to wait again. I'm still not completely sure if this is the path God wants me to take, anyway. Joni filled out the application for me and mailed it in, and that’s really all I can do. Now I sit back and see whereGod leads me.

On a more exciting note, I have new audio books to listen to! Since Joni and I went to Minden and got our Nebraska I D’s, I was finally able to get a library card for the Kearney library. We went there last Wednesday to do that, and I took a look at their selection of audio books on CD. From what Joni says, and from what I could feelwith my own hands, they have a much larger selection than our library back in Carrollton. So for the last week, I’ve been enjoying searching through their catalog online. Their search engine is kind of tricky, not because I’m blind, but because it’s not organized very well, but I’m gradually getting the hang of it. I can find audio books online and put them on hold, then when they are ready to pick up, they send me an email and Joni can stop and pick them up on her weekly shopping trip. I haven’t had a new book to listen to for about a year so I’m pretty excited about hearing some new books and reviewing them for my other blog, “Reviews From the Deep.” In addition to the CD audio books, they also have audio books that you can download directly to your computer. Those are much more handy and the search engine for those is easier to use, but the selection is not quite as good. Between the two formats, though, I’ll have lots and lots of new books to listen to.

Okay, let’s talk football. I’ve never been a fan of basketball or baseball, but I love football. That means I spend the whole year anticipating the upcoming football season. This year was a little hard for me, however. The games aren’t as much fun to listen to, as they are to watch. I did get some enjoyment from listening to the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ games on the radio, those guys know how to do it, but the TV announcers are just no good. I never noticed before how little the commentators talk about what is actually happening on the field. All that aside, I have been enjoying the playoffs. Since I didn’t pay that much attention during the season, I was surprised to see the New York Jets as a wildcard team, and even more surprised to see them beat the Chargers. They have to play the Colts next, though, and I don’t think they’ll do it. Also, it was interesting to see all three teams that Brett Favre played for in the playoffs this year; the Green Bay Packers, who lost their wildcard game; the Jets who are still alive; and, of course, the Vikings who I think will beat the Saints and play against the Colts in the superbowl. I like Peyton Manning and Brett Favre equally, so I don’t really know who I will route for in the superbowl. Should be a good game though.

Last Sunday, Mom stopped by and brought food. Yay, I love food! She brought her famous German chocolate caramel bars, and her even more famous ham balls. Oh, and she brought Aunt LeeDel’s bread. Every Christmas, Aunt LeeDel makes banana bread, cherry bread, and pumpkin bread. She didn’t get to come for Christmas this year because of all the snow we had, and apparently it was even worse up in Sioux Falls, where she lives, so she mailed the bread to Mom, and Mom delivered it to everyone. The ham balls are gone already, the brownies are close, and the bread is about half gone. You’d think we never eat around here!

I’m still getting on the exercise bike, but not regularly. I’m trying to do better about that and this week I’ve done pretty good; every day so far. I downloaded some new karaoke music to play my sax with, but I haven’t realy been playing very much. I miss the Christmas music. Also I’ve been busy with audio books.

Well, that’s what’s been going on. Oh! I almost forgot, Bobbi's husband, Mike, had hip-replacement surgery last week. We visited him in the hospital last Thursday, the same day we went to the library. He’s home now and recovering so remember to pray for Mike!

See ya next time!

1 Samuel 12:23-24 Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the LORD in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way: Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.

Journal - Nothing Special

Well, there really hasn't been much going on, but I’m going to try to do a little writing today anyway. I was kind of enjoying all the blogging I did in December, so maybe I can get something jump-started here. Nothing very exciting, I’m afraid, but there are a few things I wanted to note for the record.

I haven’t heard anything new from BCBS about the insurance. They called a couple of weeks ago to let me know they were forwarding my application to the underwriters for approval. Another BCBS agent keeps calling me to see if I want to add any dental or cancer coverage to the policy. I probably will need to, my monthly cost has to be $256 a month, but I won’t know how much I need until I find out exactly how much the medical part will be. I hate all this waiting, but I know God wants us to have patience and allow Him to do things in His own time. I’m trying!

People keep telling me that this has been the coldest and snowiest winter Nebraska has had in a long time. Thanks a lot people! We had those two blizzards toward the end of December, and none of the snow has melted away yet. We’ve had lots of sub-zero temperatures, with wind chills as low as thirty below. Then we had another little storm last Wednesday. Not much snowfall this time, but lots of wind that made new drifts. Sounds like the snow will be here for a while, it’s not expected to go above freezing at least for the next week.

Wednesday morning, just before the worst of the storm began, Joni and I went to the courthouse in Minden to get our I D’s switched over to Nebraska. We still had our Texas ones. We’ve been putting that off for several months so I’m glad to have it done. One less thing hanging over our heads. Still have to get the truck registered though, and get our Nebraska license plates. Probably won't do that until February, though, it cost $56 to get our I D's.

Last week, my mp3 player quit working. Not good! That’s what I use to listen to audio books, and without it I am lost. Luckily, the prices have gone down a lot on those lately and I got a new one for $40. It has twice as much storage as my old one, too. My new one has an fm radio, like most others, but I can actually switch back and forth between the radio and the player. I never quite figured out how to do that on my old one.

And speaking of radio, I was flipping through the stations the other day and came across the local oldies station, KKPR. I heard Hall & Oates and John Cougar Mellencamp. The oldies station is playing music that was popular when I was in school. Those are not oldies and I am not old! Well, at least they have the decency to call them “classic hits” instead of coming right out and calling them “oldies."

Let’s see, what else? I think that’s everything I wanted to mention. I think I might be going stir crazy. I don’t like going out in the snow, it’s so hard to get your footing when you can't see the shape of the ground, or the snow that’s piled on it.

Okay, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you later, okay?

Romans 5:3-4 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

Romans 8:25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Journal - Year End

Well, the excitement of the holidays is subsiding, and just as I expected, I have nothing to write about. Or maybe I just haven’t been in the mood. I’m really not in the mood even now as I sit here typing, but I want the record to show what’s been going on the last few days. This probably won' be very interesting to anyone other than myself, just your basic "did this, saw that" kind of stuff.

We were supposed to go to my brother, Brad’s, house for Christmas, but we got another blizzard on Christmas Eve and got snowed in. That was okay, I kind of like spending Christmas at home. Since we had planned on being at Brad's for dinner, we hadn't bought anything to make a dinner of our own. Luckily, we had the ham and all that other food that the church gave us, so we had a nice ham dinner for Christmas. Okay, I guess luck didn't really have anything to do with it. It was just God looking out for us again. The three of us had a nice day. It's fun being snowed in when you don't have to worry about getting to work and stuff.

On Saturday, we were still snowed in because we live on a farm and there's no one to clean our driveway. We had some pretty big snow drifts. We really wanted to be able to get out on Sunday though, so Joni and I got in the Explorer and basically bashed our way through the drifts until we were out. We drove in and out of the driveway about six times to make sure we had a good path through the snow.

Sunday was Adam’s fourteenth birthday. He had mentioned that he would really like it if Brenna could come over for a while to have cake and ice cream with us. Apparently he likes having a sister. So we went to church Sunday morning, then picked up Brenna and we all had lunch at Runza. If you don’t live in Nebraska, you probably don’t know what Runza is and I pity you. After lunch, we went to Mom’s house for a little while. She made Adam’s favorite, a jello poke cake. Our plan after that was to come back home for more cake and just hang out for a while. We were supposed to meet Brenna's grandparents in Minden at five o'clock so they could take her home. But, well, we got stuck in the driveway as soon as we pulled in. Joni and I dug with the snow shovel for a while, which did absolutely no good because the snow was all packed up under the truck, until finally, one of our neighbors drove by. He saw we were having trouble and stopped to lend a hand. He had a tow chain and had us out of that drift in no time. By then it was time to go drop off Brenna, but she and Adam had a good time. They seem to get along really well with each other. They can just sit and jabber back and forth at each other, then 45 minutes later you come back and they’re still jabbering at each other. Anyway, Adam had a nice birthday, and I had a good day too even though we got stuck. This was the first time I got to spend some time with Brenna without a lot of people around and I discovered that she’s pretty funny. I also found out she has double-jointed thumbs just like me.

There hasn’t been much excitement this week. I have some sore muscles in my shoulders and back from shoveling snow, but I still got on the exercise bike. I haven’t been on it for a couple of weeks and decided it’s time to get back in the habit. Last week, Joni and I filled out that application for the BCBS insurance and mailed it in. This week they called and said they are forwarding it to the underwriters. That’s encouraging in a way because at least they didn’t just reject me offhand the way Aetna did. This morning I had an appointment with an eye doctor that the Commission for the Blind set up for me. There wasn't much point to it, except I found out there’s no infection in my left eye. That kind of surprised me and I was a little encouraged by that. Then we went to Brad’s for lunch. That was our Christmas make-up since everybody was snowed in.

So that’s what’s been going on. It’s the end of the year, and I feel like I should write something deep and meaningful, but it’s just not happening today. I’m not all sad and depressed anymore, like I was at Christmas, I’m just not in the mood to write. It has been an eventful year, I'll say that much. And I’m looking forward to the challenges that the new year will bring. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I’m still hoping that I’ll be able to see again by next Christmas. If you’re listening, Santa, that’s all I want next year, and don't feel like you have to wait until December to deliver.

To you, faithful reader, I wish nothing but happiness and prosperity for you in the new year, and remember, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.

Happy New Year 2010!

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.