Men's Fraternity Week 24

Men’s Fraternity
Week #24 – Blessing Letter to Children/Siblings

Introduction: Letter Accountability

• How did you present your letter from last week?
• What kind of reaction did you receive?
• If you did not deliver your letter, tell your group when you plan to deliver it and how you plan to deliver it.

Proverbs 3:27-28
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

I. Family blessing hinges on 5 key elements.

1. Meaningful touch

Mark 10:13-16
And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.


2. A spoken message
• The misconception we have is that simply being present communicates blessing.
• We need to be aware how powerful the absence of spoken words can be. (Most common phrase: “I’ll tell them tomorrow.”)
Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 10:11
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

Proverbs 10:31-32
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.


3. Attach high value to the one being blessed.
• In the Hebrew the root meaning of blessing is to “bow the knee”.
• It is important that you point out the qualities and character traits not the performance.
4. Picture a special future for the one being blessed.
• Words that picture a special future are like a campfire on a dark night.
• In John 14:2-3 Jesus went to great lengths to assure the insecure disciples that they had a special future with Him.

John 14:2-3
In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.


5. Make an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.

James 2:15-16
If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?


• Mere words of blessing are not enough
• Follow through is key to conveying the truth of the blessing.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


• The better we know the bent of our child and their unique set of needs the better we will be able to give them their own unique blessing.

Dealing with Children rejecting your godly legacy.

1 Corinthians 3:8
He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.

• Parenting is about planting and watering.
• Know your purpose and work together
• Reward is based on the work done not based on who your children become.

The greatest legacy you can leave your kids is who you were as a Christ-follower. What your children do with who you were is their choice.

Personal application/exercise:

Take the time we have left and use the fill in the blanks and write your favorite memories of your oldest child or the one that may need this letter most at this time. If you have no children write it to your sibling, friend, or mentor in your life.

Sharing what you wrote: Share which person you wrote and three memories.

Deliver your letter by our next session!

Journal - Preparing for Summer

Well summer is very nearly upon us. In fact, we’ve already had one day at or near 100 degrees and a couple of other days that were very warm as well so you might say that summer is already here. With the change of seasons it seems like there are always plenty of projects to do around the house. This week I had Tuesday and Thursday off so those were my days to get some of those projects done.

On Tuesday I did a little more work in the garden. Last week we got tomatoes and peppers and strawberries in. We had already decided not to have a large pumpkin patch like we did last year, but I still wanted at least a few. So I got out the rake and cleared the winter leavings from another section of the garden. Then I got out the shovel and dug the soil in a plot about 6 by 8 feet or so. In there I planted six mounds of pumpkins. Actually I’m not sure if pumpkins are supposed to be in mounds but it seemed like the right thing to do. I put 3 or 4 seeds in each mound, the seeds having come from some of the pumpkins we had last year. We actually still have 3 of our good sized pumpkins from last year sitting around the house. I don’t think they’ll last much longer; they’re all getting soft spots on them now. Anyway, the pumpkins are in and hopefully they’ll come up again.

Thursday I had several items on my to-do list. I took the humidifier apart and cleaned it up and set it aside to dry. Then I gave the kitchen window a thorough cleaning. Our house is moldy and during the winter, where the moisture condenses on the window frames and glass, the mold grows. During the winter we wipe it down from time to time but don’t really give it a thorough cleaning. I had already done one of the kitchen windows a couple of weeks ago so today I got the other one.

After that I went outside to see if the mower would start this year. Last year it was very hard to start every time we used it, and even after it started we would have to nurse it along for a few minutes before it finally decided it was ready to work. I had been thinking about it earlier this week and thought the carb was probably pretty dirty and that’s what was causing it to run so poorly. I wanted to pull the carb off and clean it up but after watching a couple of videos online showing how to do that I decided it was probably not something I should mess with. Instead I just pulled off the cowling and the fuel tank and cleaned as much of the gunk out from under there as I could. There was quite a lot of gunk that has probably been building for years. Also the mice like to nest up under the cowling so I cleaned all of that out. I sprayed some carb cleaner around the carb and the throttle, drained out the last few drips of last year’s gas and put everything back together. After filling up with fresh gas and topping off the oil I gave the rope a few experimental tugs. It didn’t sound like it was trying to fire at all but after 10 or 12 pulls it started up. That was much easier than last year and more importantly it stayed running without having to be nursed. All in all maybe the cleaning did it some good but I guess time will tell.

So while Joni was doing a little mowing I came back in found that the humidifier was dry so I put that back together and took it downstairs for the summer. Then I sat down at the computer to do some typing.

I still have a couple more windows that I would like to clean up today and I also thought I might try making some potato salad today, something I’ve never made before. And that’s everything I had on my to-do list. It’s only noon now so that’s not too bad. I’ll still have to relax this afternoon which is good because I have a full shift at work tomorrow.

Today is Brad and Cindy’s 27’s anniversary! Happy Anniversary guys!

Mark 10:6-9 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” ESV

Ecclesiastes 3:22 So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him? ESV

Journal - Walmart Wanderings Week 6

Well I haven’t written for a while, have I? I keep telling myself that if I would just write a little a couple of times a week then I wouldn’t have to cover so much ground each time and I would be better able to remember what I’m trying to write about. Time just gets away from me, especially since I started working again.

It’s hard to believe, but I’ve been working at Walmart for 6 weeks now. The first few weeks were pretty rough, as I have mentioned, with my legs being pretty sore all the time. During the last couple of weeks though, they have finally been catching up with the demand I’m placing on them. While I’m at work they don’t really bother me at all. As long as I keep moving that is. When I take my breaks and sit down for a few minutes then they hurt again when I get back up, but it only takes a minute for them to loosen up again. At home in the evenings they really tighten up on me and it hurts to walk but even that is getting better.

On the weekend of October 20 and 21 I started feeling a cold coming on. I was hoping to just get through Monday and Tuesday and then I had the day off on Wednesday. Well, I did get through and sure enough on Wednesday I felt pretty miserable. Unfortunately, I still felt pretty bad on Thursday and I had to call in sick. Thursday was one of our coldest days yet and I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to work in the cold all day when I was already sick. But after two days of Joni’s chicken-noodle soup I was ready to go back on Friday. I expected kind of a rough day on Friday but I actually felt pretty good that day and on Saturday as well. So I got over my cold without too much trouble.

I think it was that weekend that I started noticing a red spot in my eye. That didn’t concern me very much because that same spot gets red now and by the next day it’s usually gone. This time, however, the redness didn’t go away and by Tuesday I decided I better call the doctor. This was October 30. I called Dr. Feilmeier’s office in Omaha to find out what day he was coming in November and they said the 8th, more than a week away. I told them what was going on with my eye and the nurse said I should really get it checked out as soon as possible, but instead of asking me to come to Omaha, which is kind of what I expected, she offered to call the Kearney Eye Institute and see if someone there could get me in. She called me back a bit later and said she had gotten me an appointment with Dr. Vaughan, the same doctor who did my glasses back in July, on Thursday, November 1. That was fine with me as it saved me a trip to Omaha.

I saw Dr. Vaughan on Thursday and the report was good. There was no sign of any infection, and the sutures all looked okay. I had been thinking that one of those sutures came loose again and an infection was starting since that has happened before. Dr. Vaughan said the redness was because my eye is very dry. With cold weather coming on, the air is getting more and more dry all the time, and now that I’m working outdoors I’ll probably feel it even more this winter. Dr. Vaughan recommended some lubricant drops, commonly called “tears”, which you can get over-the-counter. Joni and I stopped at Walgreen’s on the way home and picked some up, both of us thinking that we had really dodged a bullet that time.

So all was well until Monday evening, the 5th of November. At a little after 5pm on Monday, one of Dr. Feilmeier’s assistants called from the office in Omaha. She said that Dr. Feilmeier had just seen the notes and results from my visit to Dr. Vaughan and he wanted to see me right away, as in the next day. I was so flabbergasted that I didn’t even think to ask her what Dr. Feilmeier had seen that got him so anxious. She wanted me to set an appointment for the next day but I honestly couldn’t think what to do. I was totally caught off-guard and I was supposed to work the next day and everything. I finally told her that I would call back in the morning. Mind you, I already had an appointment to see Dr. Feilmeier in Kearney on Thursday the 8th. Well I though it over for a couple of hours and finally decided I would have to go. Dr. Feilmeier hasn’t let me down yet and I trust him.

On Tuesday morning I called his office and told them I was on my way. Then I called in at Walmart yet again and we got ready to go. Dr. Feilmeier wasn’t in until 1pm that day so we didn’t have to hurry too much, but it was Election Day and I wanted to stop by and vote on our way out. The polling place for our area is about 7 miles east of our house so it wasn’t really out of the way that much. Also, up until this year, I have never voted before and really wanted to do it this time. I had wanted to in 2008 but didn’t get registered in time. We left the house at about 9:30am I think, stopped by to vote, and we were on our way.

This post is getting pretty long so I’ll cut to the chase. Dr. Feilmeier said pretty much the same thing Dr. Vaughan had said a few days before. We weren’t there very long and were back on the road heading home. In some ways it felt like a wasted trip, but some things are worth being extra careful with, and one of those things is your eyesight. So I have to keep putting those tears in my eyes several times a day, but everything is fine and my eyesight is still good. Today was my day off so I got to relax and do some fun things, which I will be writing about soon.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ESV

Matthew 14:31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” ESV

In The Blink Of An Eye

Last Friday, a terrible tragedy occurred in the state of the Nebraska. At approximately 4pm, a van carrying two coaches and eight boys of the Broken Bow high school basketball team was returning home from a basketball clinic in Kearney. Just two miles from home, a pickup truck traveling the opposite direction on Highway 2 swerved over the center line and hit the van head-on. The driver of the pickup, a man from Ansley, Nebraska, and both coaches in the van were killed. None of the eight boys in the van were killed although, as of today, three of them remain in the hospital, one in critical condition.

Broken Bow is a small town with a population of about 3,100, and Ansley is very small consisting of only 469 people. In small towns, tragedies like this one are felt more deeply, I believe, effecting not only the families and friends of the victims, but really the whole town. My prayers continue to go out to all those effected.

It only goes to show you that you just never know how much time you may have on this Earth. We all expect to live long, full lives, but now and then we receive these painful reminders that that just may not be in the cards for all of us. The driver of that pickup truck was 70, but the two coaches were aged 38 and 24.

We just never know when our time may come. That’s why it is so important to always be ready. Imagine if you had an argument with your parent, sibling, friend, etc, and then died the next day, never having resolved it. I guess that’s why it says in Ephesians 4 verses 25 and 26:

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger ESV

It would be a terrible thing to leave that kind of unresolved business behind us when our time comes, but it would be even more tragic if we were not right with God. It’s so easy to think, “I’m young, I’ll have plenty of time to learn about God later on so I’ll live my life the way I want to now.” I used to think that way myself and now I know how foolish I was. Maybe you have plenty of time and maybe you don’t. We just don’t know.

There are plenty of scriptures that speak very plainly about this. Luke 21 verse 34 for example:

"But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. ESV

And Mark 13, verses 32 and 33:

“But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. ESV

An even better example is the parable of the bridegroom and the virgins from Matthew 25, verses 1 through 13:

“Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. 5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ 7 Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. 11 Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ 12 But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ 13 Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour. ESV

Now, I know those verses are speaking about the day Jesus returns to the Earth, but I think it kind of works either way. Whether it is our time to go, or His time to come, the point is we need to be ready because, just like it says, “you know neither the day nor the hour.” It could happen next week or tomorrow or later on today.

I know, I know, this topic is kind of a downer. Who wants to sit around and think about the day we’ll die? The hard truth is that, as responsible Christians and human beings, we do need to think about it. Don’t be caught unawares; be prepared!

Journal - Yard Work, Possessions, and Music

Let’s see, where was I? Oh yes, last Friday Joni and I traveled to Grand Island for Distric Music Contest at Grand Island’s Central Catholic High School. Adam, who joined the choir this year, was performing with a group, and Kylie was performing as well. We left at about 9am and made the trip to GI, which is just under one hour away from here. We had obtained the physical address of the school and so with our trust TomTom GPS unit, we had no problem finding the place.

As it turned out, Adam’s group and Kylie’s group were performing in the same room, one right after the other so that made it pretty easy to see both. Adam had also been in a group earlier that morning, and Kylie had another group later that afternoon, so we were glad of the opportunity to see both kids perform.

Adam’s group of about seven boys sang an old Billy Joel classic, “For The Longest Time.” Some of the boys in the group had trouble with the tempo and the pitch, but I have to admit that Adam did a good job. I could actually hear him singing, which surprised me. He’s kind of reserved in public sometimes and I didn’t think he would sing out that well. Also, when he sings at home he has a lot of trouble finding the pitch, but with the piano and the other boys he sounded right on tune. Next up was Kylie’s quartet. They sang “Ave Maria”, not the version you traditionally hear around Christmastime, but a different one. It was a really beautiful song and the four girls sang it really well.

And that was all we stayed for. On the way in, I had noticed that we passed a Home Depot store and I asked Joni if we could stop on the way out to look for a fuel line for the weed eater. So we stopped in and found one without too much trouble. After that we headed on home.

Saturday was kind of a cool day, but it was sunny and not too windy so I went on out to see if I could get that fuel line in. This is when I discovered that it wasn’t actually the fuel line I was replacing, but the line that runs from the primer. There are two separate lines running into the fuel tank. Not too worry, the package I had picked up at Home Depot had both lines in it. So after fighting with the trimmer for a little while we finally managed to get the primer line installed. Unfortunately it still wouldn’t start. I pulled and pulled at it but it never even tried to catch. The only other thing I can think of is to try some fresh fuel. The trimmer uses 2-cycle fuel, gas and oil mixture, and what we had on hand has been sitting around for about three years, which is the last time we were able to use the trimmer. So I decided to try some fresh fuel in it as soon as I could get some.

Also on Saturday I kind of piddled around the yard a bit. I didn’t have anything specific that I wanted to work on so I just kind of messed around here and there. I watered the various flower-beds and such.

Sunday we made it to church. I was glad we did since we hadn’t made it the week before. Two weeks in between church services leaves me feeling a bit frazzled more often than not. Pastor Mike’s sermon was about possessions and riches. It was something I really needed to hear as I have struggled with that. Not with riches, I don’t struggle with riches at all since I have none, but I do struggle with possessions. I have many possessions that are very important to me, even though I know I shouldn’t place so much importance on them: things that I’ve had for a long time, or things that once belonged to now-deceased grandparents and such. I would be devastated to lose those things and I know that’s not healthy. Anyway, it was a good sermon that left me feeling kind of thoughtful the rest of the day.

I can’t remember if it was on Saturday or Sunday that we discovered the pumpkins. I was looking for sprouts on the potatoes that I had planted, and thought I found some. I was wrong. The little green sprouts were coming up in the middle of a pile of pumpkin seeds. The seeds came from two pumpkins that Mom had placed on our front steps as a surprise for our return from Omaha after my surgery in October. The pumpkins lasted a good long time, but when they finally got soft and mushy we picked them up with a shovel and tossed them into the garden area. Well, some of them are coming up. In case you ever need to identify pumpkins sprouts, they have thick rubbery leaves, and they all grow with two leaves on each sprout. We had actually picked up some pumpkin seeds at Walmart, but I guess we won’t need them because there are quite a few coming up. As for my potatoes, I dug up a couple to see if anything was happening and they’re not sprouting at all. So that experiment failed. Pumpkins will be fun though.

Then on Monday the choir had their concert at the school in Gibbon where many of the groups that performed at Districts get to show off for the home crowd. We got to see Adam’s group again as well as the other group he was in that we had missed on Friday. We also got to see Kylie again which was nice since she’s a Senior and it was her last choir performance before she graduates. Mom and Bobbi were there too and there were a few tears afterward. This also marked my first visit to the new school in Gibbon since my surgery. It worked out well: we had to drop off Adam early so we had plenty of time to look around before the concert began. My favorite thing was the class pictures. The old school had the senior pictures for each class in large frames going up and down the hallway. The new school has gone digital, with all the class photos displayed on a large touch screen mounted to the wall in the common area. You can choose a class to view and it brings up the pictures for the whole class. If you want to see a larger photo you can touch the student and it brings up a larger image. It was pretty cool.

Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ESV

Mark 8:36 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? ESV

Stand Up!

I received one of those forwarded chain emails the other day, I’m sure you’re all familiar with these. I usually just delete them without even looking, but this one caught my eye so I read it. It concerns a man named Darrell Scott who spoke before Congress on May 27, 1999. Darrell is the father of Rachel Scott who was murdered at Columbine High School just 5 weeks before. His statement was thus:

“Since the dawn of creation, there has been both good and evil in the hearts of men and women, and we all contain those seeds: We contain the seeds of kindness and we contain the seeds of violence. And the death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joyce Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other 11 children who died, must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.

The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used, neither was it the NCA - the National Club Association - the true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in his heart. In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA, I am not a hunter, I do not even own a gun, I'm not here to represent or to defend the NRA, because I don't believe they are responsible for my daughter's death, therefore I don't believe they need to be defended by me. If I believed that they had anything to do with Rachel's murder, I would be their strongest opponent. I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy, it was a spiritual event which should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies. Much of that blame lies here in this room - much of that blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves.

I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expressed my feelings best, and it was written before I knew that I would be speaking here today, and I'd like to read that:

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You’ve stripped away our heritage,
You’ve outlawed simple prayer.

Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question “Why?”

You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need.

Men and women are three part beings: we have a body, and we have a soul, and we have a spirit ... And I believe we fail to recognize that third element, that really does need to be recognized by the legislative bodies of this country, that's been ignored for so long. Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries, and we know this is a historic fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We've refused to honor God, and in doing so we opened the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs, politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that continue to erode away our personal and private liberties.

We don't need more restrictive laws. Erik and Dylan would not have been stopped by more gun laws or metal detectors. No amount of laws can stop someone who spends months of planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts. Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key, and there is a spiritual awakening that is taking place that will not be squelched. We don't need more religion, we don't need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage, we do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people's basic needs are being ignored. We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgement that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God.

When my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he didn't hesitate to pray in school, and I defy any law or politician to deny him that right. I challenge every young person in America and around the world to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School, prayer was brought back to our schools. Don't let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your conscience and denies your God-given right to communicate with Him.

Amen to that. I don’t imagine our Congressmen and women enjoyed hearing that, but it was certainly something that they needed to hear, and something that we all need to hear. It must have taken Mr. Scott a great deal of courage to stand up in front of our nation’s leaders and tell them point blank that they have dropped the ball, but I’m sure he understands that we all must take a share of that blame. Every one of us who sees wrong and turns a blind eye to it; every one of us who does not stand up for what we believe in must share in that blame. If all the Christians of this nation, and of every other nation, would stand up and speak out the way Mr. Scott did, we could change the world.

Darrell Scott didn’t stop with his speech before Congress, he went on to create “Rachel’s Challenge”, an organization devoted to empowering not only young people, but anyone who is willing to start a chain reaction of kindness in their school, business, or community.

Mark 3:24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. ESV

Luke 11:23 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. ESV

Psalms 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God. KJV


RELATED READING:
Read the full transcript of Mr. Scott’s statement here.
Visit the Rachel’s Challenge website to find out how you can get involved.
Learn more about Rachel Joy Scott here.

Thought For The Day

Saturday afternoon at the Christmas Eve service, Joni and I were talking to a friend of ours, an older lady, and she was telling us of some of the hardships she had endured in her younger days. She wasn’t complaining or anything like that, we were just having a conversation. Then she said to me, “…but I don’t think I could survive without my sight, you’re a brave person.”
I thanked her for the compliment, but it got me thinking about things. I lost my sight and learned to live with that, as many others do, but what if I lost my family? I think that would be much harder to endure. I’m guessing that all those poor people who take their own lives are the ones who didn’t have the support of loved ones when times got tough. I feel very fortunate to have the strong family that I do, and very fortunate to have such a kind and loving Father in heaven who always knows just exactly what I need, even when I don’t know it myself.

Mark 3:35 For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” ESV

Psalms 70:5 "But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God!
You are my help and my deliverer;
O Lord, do not delay!" ESV

Journal - Meeting the Lions

On Tuesday evening, Joni and I rode along with Tom and Barbara Christi to the Lion’s Club meeting in Ravenna. Barbara had called me last week and asked if I would be willing to attend a meeting so that they could all see for themselves what their donation helped to accomplish. I told her that I would, of course, be willing to do that. Aside from feeling obligated to the Lion’s, I also have an obligation to God to spread the word of what He did for me.
We met at their house in Gibbon at 6:15pm, and left from there. It’s a little bit of a drive over to Ravenna, maybe 30 minutes or so. On the way there, I mentioned that when I was a kid we used to go to Ravenna now and then to go roller-skating at a little auditorium that had been converted for the purpose. Barbara told me that the Ravenna Lion’s still maintain that building and they still have roller-skating there sometimes. That surprised me a lot because it was a good 30 years ago that I remember going. Most of the way there I watched a very nice sunset out the window to my left.
Neither Joni nor I had ever been to a Lion’s meeting before so we didn’t know what to expect. I’ll admit that it was quite a bit longer than I expected, but it was an interesting time. Before the actual meting began, there was a dinner of ham, cheesy potatoes, vegetables, and rolls. It was an excellent dinner, but Joni and I had eaten a bite before we left so I wasn’t as hungry as I would have liked. When dinner was finishing up, someone came over and asked if I would like to say a few words before the meeting began, and I said that I would. Joni and I had been introduced to the group before the dinner began.
After dinner, everyone gathered in chairs at one end of the large room for the meeting. The leader asked me to come up and handed me a microphone. It wasn’t a very large group so I don’t think I really needed a microphone, but I took it and said what I needed to say. It probably only took 5 minutes or so.
After that, they had the roll call. This was a little different than most roll calls I have witnessed. After each name was called, that person had to answer a question about Ravenna’s history. The group has several old-timers so the roll call took a little while as some of the questions led to discussions and remembrances. But I learned a few things about Ravenna that I didn’t know before.
After that it was just Lion’s Club business: a reading of the minutes, financial report, and discussions of new business. One of the members works for the Kearney Daily Hub as it turns out, so after the meeting she took a picture of me and Joni, with Tom and Barbara and a couple of the group’s leaders. So I guess some of the local papers may have stories.
And that was it. We rode back to Tom and Barbara’s house, then Joni and I continued on home. It was about 9:30 when we got back. It was kind of a long evening, but rewarding. I’m glad I got a chance to do that.

Psalms 40:10 "I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation."

Mark 16:15 And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.

Journal - A Day of Healing

Saturday morning I woke up and noticed an improvement in my vision right away. It was clearer than it had been on Thursday and Friday, and most of the patterns and sparklies were gone, although not completely.
We didn’t do much on Saturday, just took it easy and hung out here at home. It was windy outside, but not very cold so I went out and walked around the place for a little bit. Nothing strenuous, just walking and exploring.
Late Saturday afternoon I watched a movie. Yeah, watched. I always enjoyed watching movies and it’s something that I’ve really missed. The DVS movies that I’ve been listening to are a blessing and I’m so thankful for them, but it was pretty cool to pop in a DVD and see the pictures. For my first movie experience, I chose Star Trek: Insurrection, my favorite of the Star Trek movies.
Saturday evening I spent some time playing with my mp3 player. I learned how to use it while I was blind: loading movies or books onto it and listening to them, and switching over to the FM radio function. Last night I just explored it, looking at some of the other features it has and playing with settings and such. The print on it is too small for me to handle, but with a magnifying glass I can read it very clearly. That was fun.
And that was about it for Saturday. It was a pretty relaxing day. Throughout the day, I noticed some further improvement in my vision, and felt like I may have gotten back to where I was on Tuesday when the bandage came off. Overall, it was a good healing day.

Luke 11:34-35 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. ESV

Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ESV

Journal - Vacation Blues

Yep, I have the vacation blues. No, I’m not blue because I’m on vacation, or because my vacation is ending, rather I am blue because I’m not on vacation. Is that making any sense? Alas, I shall have to explain further.
I’ve been crunching pretty hard on the audiobook reviews for the last several months, and I was starting to feel a little burned out. At the beginning of August, I had decided that I would finish out the month, and then take September off. You know, just listen to some audiobooks I have already reviewed so I could relax with them and not have to always be thinking about what I’m going to write. I was really looking forward to it too. Then last week I got an offer I just couldn’t refuse.
For several months I’ve been receiving audiobooks from Galaxy Audio. They’re the ones that are doing a whole bunch of L Ron Hubbard’s stories from the pulp fiction era of the 1930’s and 40’s. Last week, Galaxy President John Goodwin emailed me to say that next year they will be publishing Hubbard’s Battlefield: Earth, which is probably his best known work, and one that I have been hoping for since I was first approached by Galaxy. Anyway, John said that he wants to send out some advance copies to get some critical feedback. He’s not asking for a review yet, but some opinions on whether or not the audiobook is good as it stands, or if anything needs to be changed for the final production. That’s right, I could have a say in the finished work! But here’s the best part: John is only sending out two advance copies, and one of them would be mine if I wanted it. I wasted no time in telling John “Heck Yeah I Want It!”
Well, the audiobook is 44 CD’s long, which is absolutely huge. In fact, I think that will be the longest audiobook I have ever had my hands on. I estimate that it will take 12 solid days to get through it, and possibly more. So there goes my vacation plans. I’m not complaining though, because this is a huge opportunity for me that I would be an idiot to pass up on. John mailed it out late last week, so I’m expecting it any day now.
So here’s what I decided: instead of taking September off, I will continue hitting the books until the end of October. Then I will take an even longer vacation through November and December. That will actually work out pretty well because November is when I start practicing Christmas music on my sax and I’ll have less time for books anyway. But don’t worry, because I’ve been working so hard, I actually have plenty of reviews saved up to carry me through the two months. Ifyou follow Audiobook Heaven at all, you’ll never even notice that I’m on vacation. It’s actually a much better plan than the one I came up with myself. Pretty amazing how things work out sometimes, isn’t it?
So, two more months of hard work, then I’m off until next year. I’m still looking forward to the break. There are lots of audiobooks I’ve already reviewed that I would like to go back and listen to again, especially the Harry Potter series. I’ve listened to those books about a dozen times but I just can’t get enough.
Okay, break time is over, gotta get back to those books!

Matthew 21:21 And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. ESV

Mark 9:23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” ESv

Useful Tools

Whew! I was getting worried there. As I mentioned in my last post, I realized that my blog had strayed from the purpose that God intended for it. Upon that realization, I promised to get things back on track and start writing the things that God wanted me to write again. For the last several days since then, I’ve been waiting for God to tell me what to write about. For several days I waited, and I was beginning to worry. But today, He finally put something on my heart..

I received an email from Uncle Butch a couple of days ago in which he was talking about Nebraska joining the Big 10 conference. I wrote about that quite a bit while it was happening a month or two ago and Uncle Butch was sharing his views on the subject. It was while I was thinking about my response to him that God flicked on the little light bulb that floats over my head. What, you don't have one?

In regards to the big move for Nebraska, I was totally against it. Not because I felt it would be a bad move for the University of Nebraska, but simply because I don't like it when things change. Even changes for the better are difficult for me because I just don't like change. In my life, I have spent years at lousy jobs that I hated simply because it was easier to stay than to go to the trouble of finding a new job. It's part of my obsessive/compulsive nature.

I like routine. This sounds dumb to a lot of people, but I like waking up each morning knowing exactly what I’m going to do that day, and when I’m going to do it. When I went blind, it took me months and months to develop a new routine around my blindness, but I did it. It’s something that I really struggle with.

I struggle with it because I know that God doesn’t want us to be so rigid in our lives. I really feel that the more flexible we are, the more useful we will be to Him. I mean, let’s face it, a can-opener is useful, but only when you want to open a can. But if you had a combination can-opener, bottle opener, glass-cutter, hack-saw, jack-hammer, how much more useful would that be? That’s a bad analogy because really the jack-hammer attachment would serve all of those purposes, but you get the point, right?

It’s pretty natural to resist change in our lives, to remain in our daily routines. I resisted the notion of Nebraska being a Big 10 school, but now that it’s a done deal I can see that it’s probably a better deal. If someone had asked me if I wanted to be blind I would have resisted very strenuously, but I have to admit that I am a better person because of it. Turns out God knew what He was doing after all.

I’m going to try to be more flexible from now on. I think it’s okay to have a routine, as long as I don't get so caught up in it that I miss out on some new opportunity that God has for me. I’ve probably missed out on lots of things for that very reason, but God never gives up on us does He? He’ll just hold onto those good things until we are ready for them, and that's a pretty comforting thought.

Genesis 12:1-2 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

Mark 1:17-18 "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed Him.

Journal - Meta Tags

I’ve still been spending a pretty big majority of my time working on “Audio Book Heaven.” I wanted to post new book reviews every other day throughout the month of May, and it looks like that will be no problem. I had quite a few short audio books on hand, books that I can complete in a couple of days. Still, it’s been a bit of a scramble writing reviews and getting them posted.

I’ve also been doing a lot of work on my older reviews, revising them slightly and re-posting them. I’m trying to optimize the whole thing so that it will show up on search engines. That means adding relevant keywords like "audio book" and “book review", as well as using the book title and author name. To get good results, I need to use those important keywords several times in each review so that's why I'm revising them. While I’m revising the old reviews, I’m also adding my affiliate links for Audible and Amazon. I had about fifty book reviews posted before I started all this so the revision process has been kind of tedious. I’m making good progress though, and I guess I’m more than halfway done. I’m hoping to have all that done by the end of May.

In addition to all that, I’ve been looking at some different ways to increase traffic to my blog. The best way to do that is to make sure it shows up in search engines like Google. When someone goes to Google looking for audio book reviews, I want them to find me. The best way to get in the search engines, is to have good meta tags.

Meta tags are part of the actual html code of your website, and they are what search engines look at to tell them what your site is all about. The tags would include the title of your site, plus relevant keywords. The keywords for my blog would be things like “audio book” and the others I mentioned above. It works best if the keywords you choose actually show up frequently in your website’s content, so that’s why I needed to do all that revising; I am mainly adding more relevant keywords to my book reviews.

So anyway, I found some instructions on how to add the meta tags to the code of my blog and gave it a try. It turned out to be pretty easy to add the code, but I didn’t really know if I had done it correctly.

Luckily, the instructions I found, also provided a link to an online meta tag checker. That’s exactly what it does, it checks your meta tags to make sure they don’t have errors and to make sure they have good relevancy to your content. So I ran the checker and my tags were entered correctly, and it said the relevancy was good also. Very good in fact, so I was happy about that.

The stat counter I put on my blog a few weeks ago is working well. I’ve been getting a small handful of hits every day, usually around 3 or 4 which is about what I expected to start with. One day I got a whopping eighteen which surprised me. Of course, I hope those numbers will gradually grow as I complete more work on the blog.

So I’ve been busy, this has turned out to be quite a project. I’ve been staying up pretty late every night working on it andI’m starting to feel a bit exhausted. That’s probably why I was sick last week. I don’t mind though. For the last year and a half I’ve just been drifting and it feels good to actually be working on something again. And if I end up making a little money off the thing, then I guess that’s okay too. I’ll have to give a share of it to God though since He is the one who gave me the sharp mind I needed to figure all this out.

1 Peter 4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

Mark 12:17 Then Jesus said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's.” And they were amazed at him.

Helping Myself

So, I recently talked about the old saying “the Lord helps those who help themselves." Like I said, that topic has been on my heart for quite a while now. I guess the reasons for that should be fairly obvious for anyone who has been following my blog, but I’m going to talk about it anyway.

I lost my eyesight very gradually, over a period of several years. In September of 2008 I lost my job. That seemed like a devastating blow at the time, but honestly, I couldn’t have kept it up much longer anyway; I was really struggling with it by then. I immediately started applying to various government agencies, including social security, for assistance.

My social security claim was approved reasonably quickly, and our application for food stamps went through with no problem. In addition to that, the Lord moved several members of my family to help us as well. All of our most basic needs were taken care of.

What I really had trouble with, was getting some type of medical coverage. Like I said, my social security claim was approved pretty fast, but there was still a six month waiting period before benefits would begin. In the meantime, I was receiving SSI, or Supplemental Security Income. While I was on SSI, I automatically qualified for Medicaid. I couldn’t get any surgery done on my eyes at this time, though, because I was still having trouble with infections. When my social security disability payments finally began in March 2009, they cancelled my medicaid with very little notice. I hadn't been aware that was going to happen.

So I started making phone calls. For several weeks, I tried to find out if I could still qualify for Medicaid, all to no avail. I just couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone. I talked to lots of different agencies and all they could tell me was “we don’t handle that.” I did find out that there are lots of different kinds of Medicaid, and that they are all handled by different agencies, but I was never able to find the correct agency for my situation. The only thing I found out for sure, was that I could not get medicare until I had been disabled for two years.

That was all back in Texas, when I lived just north of Dallas. Not a good place to be if you’re down on your luck. There are so many people looking for help, their system has become completely bogged down. I suppose it’s the same in any large city. Anyway, in April, God decided He wanted us in Nebraska. So we packed up our things and, on April 26th, moved North. It was sad to leave my home of the last eight years, and it was scary leaving my eye doctor, who had been caring for my eyes almost that entire time, and who I trusted completely, but I had high hopes of being able to get more help in a less populated area.

We took a couple of weeks to settle into our new home, and then I began making phone calls again. I noticed a difference right away, I could actually reach people on the phone here and get straight answers from them. Unfortunately, the answer was still no. My social security payments, not quite enough to pay our bills, were too high for me to qualify for Medicaid. We did get food stamps though, again with no trouble at all.

Naturally, that was discouraging, but I didn’t get as discouraged as you might think. It was clear to me, that God was telling me to wait. There was really no other conclusion I could draw from this. Take a look at what happened, God provided us with everything we needed. All of our basic necessities, namely food and shelter, came to us very easily. When God decided to bring us to Nebraska, he sent my brother and his family to help us move. He helped Mom find us a great house to live in at a very reasonable cost. A house that has carried us through some very harsh storms, I might add. When we first arrived here, there were boxes of food and an envelope full of money waiting for us, all donated by Mom’s church, the church I had attended as a child. Everything we needed came to us.

I really wanted some medical coverage, though, so I could get surgery, and I would be able to see again. I tried and tried, but it just never worked out. That’s because God wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. He will always provide the things we need, but not necessarily the things we THINK we need. Our needs and God’s needs can be very different sometimes.

I still get impatient sometimes, and try to take matters into my own hands. Sevral months ago, I applied for a private insurance plan from State Farm, only to be denied once again. Too many pre-existing conditions. Even now, as I write this, I have an application in with BCBS and am waiting to hear back from them. If God is ready for this to happen, then they will approve my application. If not, then I will wait. I try to be strong and have patience, but I’m only human and I have my moments of weakness.

“The Lord helps those who help themselves?” Absolutely. I am helping myself by putting my faith in Him and trusting Him to fulfill his promises to me. He never promised to restore my eyesight, but He did promise to take care of me, as long as I have faith, and that’s good enough for me.

Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Astri's Story

**Note for screen-readers: My reader is not pronouncing Astri correctly. The spelling is A,S,T,R,I. The emphasis is on the first syllable, and the second syllable is pronounced tree, not try.

Greetings, and welcome to Drums In The Deep. You’ve come at a good time because I’m about to describe one of the most important periods of my life. A truly defining moment if ever there was one. This is Astri’s story…

Astri’s story begins in late 2003. Joni, Adam, and I had been living together for about half a year and we were struggling pretty hard. Struggling financially as we always have, but also struggling to adapt to our new lives as a family. It was October of that year that Joni discovered she was pregnant.

Now, I won’t try to describe Joni’s thoughts or feelings here because that is her story to tell, but I can give you my own perspective. I was scared. The thought of having a baby was exciting, but mostly it was scary.

First of all, what would my family think? Joni and I were not married and I worried that they would not approve. Also, how on earth were we going to afford a baby? We were barely paying the bills as it was. And would I be a good father? I already had a six year old daughter back in Nebraska that I had only seen a couple of times.

As you can see, I was really hung up on things like universal approval and money and failure. Well, without God in my life these are the kinds of things that consumed me. These are the things I thought were important. It’s sad to think about those days.

In spite of all my fear and worry, I gradually got used to the idea of having a baby. We talked about names. Joni liked the name Steven for a boy, go figure. I liked the name Astri for a girl. I was big into genealogy at the time and the nameAstri appeared several times in a Norwegian branch of my family.

Okay, fast forward to April 2004. It was a Monday and I had gone to work as usual. At around 9 or 10 that morning Joni called me and said, “I need to go to the hospital”. Oh boy, not good. Astri was not due until June. I raced home as fast as I could to pick up Joni and Adam and off we went. Adam is, and was, home-schooled if you’re wondering why he was home. The hospital was only about a mile away so that was good.

They took Joni in right away to make her comfortable while Adam and I went off to fill out paperwork. But we were all together again in time for the ultrasound. The doctor confirmed what we were already beginning to suspect. Astri was no longer living.

After that, they put Joni in a delivery room. All that was left to do was wait. They said the baby would come out naturally. They were going to make Adam wait outside when it was time but I think God had other plans. Joni gave birth very quickly and sooner than was expected. The three of us were alone in the room when it happened. Maybe you’re thinking that wasn’t a good place for an 8 year old to be, but I’m glad he can look back on that experience and say, “I was there”.

Astri Celia Brandt was born on April 26, 2004. She would have been 5 this year and starting school. She was with us for such a short time, and yet she will be with us forever. I love you Astri, and I miss you.

Mark 10:14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased and said unto them; Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God.f