Men's Fraternity Week 19

Men’s Fraternity
Week #19 Significance



Introduction:

• We have talked about daily battles worth fighting, we have talked about who or what we’re giving our life to:
• Who or what we are worshipping.
• Who or what we are letting define us.
• Who or what we are serving.

I. Deep Idol of Significance

Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Lie of Significance – if a certain person, a certain social group or colleagues in my profession… If they find me worthy of attention or love, if they acknowledge my value… then I am significant.

[How often do we base our decisions on what others will think of us?]

• Idol of Significance feeds on the opinions of others.
• We care more about what people think than what God thinks.

When people give affirmation or feedback, which is a good thing, but then they become the greatest things when we cross the line of the Significance Idol.

”Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, cleverer, or better looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, clever, or good looking there would be nothing to be proud about.” C.S. Lewis

II. The Traps With the Idol of Significance

• Approval trap.
• Recognition trap.
• Relationship trap.


1. Approval Trap


• In Biblical terms it’s called “The Fear of Man.”
• Driven by fear and becoming overly concerned with disappointing or upsetting people.

[Find significance in your actions, not in the approval you get from them.]

Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.


• Turning to others for what only God can provide is a direct result of accepting Satan’s trap:

Significance = performance + other’s opinions


• The lie of being approved by others to feel good about myself causes me to fear rejection and then conforming our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others.

Acts 20:24
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

Key questions to consider:< br />

• Does the thought of disappointing people effect your peace and contentment?
• Do you have a tendency to avoid telling people what you really think?
• Are you hypersensitive to criticism and you either are crushed or you seek to crush the one who said it?

Approval trap is fueled by the “steroid” to prove yourself!


2. Recognition Trap
• The trap is based on pride and hungers for admiration and fame.
• Being recognized can be a good thing, but it becomes toxic when it becomes the greatest thing.
2 Corinthians 10:12
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

Recognition trap is often fueled by comparison with other men and the recognition they receive.


• When we regret doing something because we didn’t get the recognition it uncovers our real motives.


3. Relationship Trap
• A man is tempted to feel “less than” if he is not in a relationship or finds himself single again.

1 Corinthians 7:32
The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.

Singleness provides a unique opportunity to invest eternally by giving undivided devotion to the Lord.

III. Replacing the Idol of Significance

• The answer to the fear of man is the fear of God.

Luke 12:4-5
I tell you,my friends, do not fear those who kill the body and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I warn you whom to fear, fear him who, after he has killed has authority to cast into hell. Yes I tell you, fear him!

• Know that people’s actions are more about their hearts than about us, so do not take their rejection or mistreatment personal.

Isaiah 51:7-8, 12
Hear me you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations. – I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass…

• Remember that people are mortals like us, they too are fallible and are going to die someday but God is infallible and eternal.

Understand who has the real power, both now and forever; and let no one define who you are but God!

”It is the most natural thing in the world to be scared, and the clearest evidence of God’s grace at work in our hearts is when we do not get into panics. The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else.” Oswald Chambers

• We were made for more than worrying about what people may think.
• We were born for more than fearing someone’s opinion.
• We were redeemed for more than living with focus on pleasing humans.
• We were saved for more, much more, than this shallow approach to life.
• We were chosen to do the will of God and not the idol of man’s popularity.

I AM TO FEAR NOTHING AND NO ONE BUT GOD!

Fear of man vs. fear of God - There are no other options.

Questions for discussion:

Which of the significance traps is most relevant for you: the approval trap, the recognition trap, or the relationship trap? Discuss.

Living according to the false belief I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself causes us to fear rejection conforming all of our attitudes and actions to the expectations of others. How are you affected by this belief?

In Acts 20:24 Paul says, But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Discuss what traps Paul had to work through and how he worked through them.

Men's Fraternity Week 18

Men’s Fraternity
Week #18 Control

I. Deep Idol of Control

1. Idol of Control is when I am unwilling to let go of my agenda and let God do His work.
2. When we are feeling powerless or circumstances are overwhelming the enemy proposes the lie that, “we must do something (be in control) or we will be hurt.”
   
   • When I am feeling powerless I no longer turn to God, instead my new idol of control is what I live by to protect myself from feeling powerless.

II. Manifestations of the Control Idol

1. Manifests itself in fear and anxiety.
   
   • Fear and anxiety surface when you might lose influence over something you want, and uncertainty about someone or something.
   
   Matthew 16:22-23
   Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him saying, ‘Far be it from you Lord! This shall never happen to you.’ Jesus said to Peter, ‘Get behind me Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on the things of man.’
   
   Luke 12:25-26
   Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do a small thing as that why are you anxious about the rest.
   
   
   • Fear shows itself in many ways:
   • I am irritated
   • I am unsatisfied
   • I am restless
   • I am unhappy
   
   
2. Manifests itself in workaholism.
   
   • Having “work” under control gives the illusion and mirage of security.
   
   Matthew 16:26
   What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?
   
   
3. Manifests itself in anger.
   
   • When I cannot control a situation and begin to feel as if I am losing control the result is anger.
   • Look behind anger and you will find fear. Look behind fear and you will find control.
   
   Ecclesiastes 7:9
   Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.
   
   Proverbs 14:29
   Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
   
   [Important to remember: Sometimes God removes our control to protect us.]

III. Replace Idol of Control Through Relinquishment

1. Greatest stumbling block in growing in our relationship with God is that we no longer can be in control.
2. Definition of Relinquishment: to surrender a possession or right.
3. Jesus is the great example of relinquishing His right to the Father.
   
   John 5:30
   I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.
   
   Luke 22:42
   Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless not my will, but yours be done.
   
   If Jesus our Savior exchanged His will for God’s will, then why would we entertain ideas that our self-will is something we are master over?
   
   
4. Relinquishing is a trust issue.


Do we trust God enough to let go of our heart and life - of our self-will and let God have his way in our life?


• Letting go is rarely easy or desirable. It is like a wrestling match – a match of the will, God’s will VS my will.
• If relinquishing is a trust issue, then when an issue of relinquishing arises, the true colors of our heart’s devotion to Him will emerge.


5. Being a follower of Christ is not willing to relinquish my sin only, but my whole way of looking at things.
   
   Galatians 2:20
   I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
   
   
   • ”…it is no longer I who live…” – means, my life is no longer identified as mine – I give up my rights.
   • When we relinquish our will to God, we settle with the truth of His sovereignty and live in peace allowing the outcome of our circumstances to be in the hands of our loving Father.

Discussion:

1. Several manifestations emerge from the deep idol of control: fear, workaholism, and anger. Discuss any of these manifestations that can be a temptation for you.

2. How should the concept of relinquishing (surrender of rights) change our approach towards our Control Idol in our lives?

3. Read Jeremiah 17:5-8. Discuss how this passage relates to what we have seen today.

God Seeks Us

Yesterday was the third meeting in our 33-week men’s fraternity group at church. After our first two meetings I typed up our study guides along with whatever notes I made during the session and posted them here on my blog. I don’t have this week’s notes typed up yet although I will probably do that sometime in the next couple of days. Today I wanted to talk about something else.

You see, I didn’t have a very good day. I’m not really sure why, I was just in a bad mood as sometimes happens. I’ve noticed over the years that in my blog I always had a tendency to “skip over” the bad days and only talk about the good ones. I hope you didn’t get the impression that I never have bad days; I am human after all. I think I always did that partly because I really do prefer to focus on the positive and not the negative, but also partly because I, like most humans, try to put up a good front and hide what’s really going on inside. We even talked about that in one of our men’s fraternity meetings, how we hide our true selves from others, and even try to hide from God sometimes. The world that we live in teaches us that men are supposed to be tough and brave and all that. “Cowboy up!” we always say or “Take it like a man!” We are taught that feelings are a sign of weakness. Of course, God’s definition of what a man should be is far different than our own worldly definition.

Anyway, back to my bad day. I got to the church and a couple of the men that I had sort of started to connect with weren’t there yesterday. So right off the bat I was feeling a little disappointed. Then some guy I hadn’t met before sat down at my table and started eating his lunch. Our meetings are from 12 to 1pm so that guys can come on their lunch break and we are encouraged to bring a lunch if we need to, but most of the guys don’t. Anyway I had to sit through most of the hour listening to this guy eat. In case you don’t know this about me, listening to people eat or chew gum is the one thing that absolutely makes me nuts. I had a hard time paying attention to Pastor Brian and I didn’t get all the notes I wanted to. My mood didn’t improve during that hour. Of the five people that were at my table, two left right away because they thought lunches would be provided and they hadn’t brought anything. The other two left before we were quite finished, as some of the men have to be back at work. That left just me. We always have some group discussion at the end and I could have joined another table for that but I just left.

I went straight up to work after that even though I had about an hour to kill. I went up to Walmart and parked and started reading a handout Brian had given us titled “Finding Your Purpose: How to Know Why You Are Here.” That helped me feel a little better but mostly what I needed was just some time alone, which I was fortunate enough to have.

I realize that whole episode at men’s fraternity was an attack from satan. When you start doing things he doesn’t like he will always do his best to deter you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 Well, for that one hour at least, the devil devoured me. Or maybe he just got a nibble that time. Anyway, thanks to our loving God, that doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. God will always seek us out and pull us back in. That’s something else we talked about in a previous men’s fraternity meeting, that even when we try to hide ourselves from God, He will seek us out. It’s comforting to know that even when I’m too ashamed of myself to go to Him, He will come to me right where I am.

Well, that’s about it for today. I’m going to get those notes typed up and posted here soon and I also wanted to talk more about that “Finding Your Purpose” handout and how it helped me to write my purpose statement. Stay tuned.

Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. ESV

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. ESV

Journal - Even More Exciting News

Wow the blessings just keep showering down on us! In the last 30 days we got a new (used) car, and then I got the news from Country Extra magazine that they had published my story in their September issue, and now this! Can you believe it? I really never saw this coming! I’m still a little stunned! Oh wait, I haven’t even told you the good news yet, have I? Okay, get this:

When Country Extra sent me my complimentary copy of the September issue, there was a letter with it. It talked about things like how to order additional copies and that sort of thing and it also mentioned that IF my submission qualified for payment, a check would be mailed separately and would arrive in 4-6 weeks. I don’t know why some submissions would qualify for payment and others would not, and I had no idea if mine qualified, but I really wasn’t expecting anything further from them. Well, can you guess what came in today’s mail? Yep, it was a check in the amount of $250. The check is from Reader’s Digest so apparently Country Extra is owned by them. Having my story published was awesome but this is almost beyond belief!

God has just been so good to us and sometimes I have to wonder why. I just feel so unworthy. And, as usual, His timing is impeccable. When we got our car last month it needed brake work and four new tires. I was able to get the brakes done right away, and last week I got two new tires, but I was really wondering how I would be able to get those other tires before winter. But now I will be able to get them with a little left over. What a blessing!

Well, when God decides to send us a blessing, I suppose it’s best not to spend too much time trying to figure out why. I need to just be thankful, and perhaps try to think of some way that I might be able to help out someone else who may be in need. Come to think of it, I bet that’s something else God can help me with.

Luke 6:38 give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you. ESV

John 1:16 For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. ESV

Journal - An Exciting Day!

So today, August 8, 2013, was a pretty exciting day.

Adam and I both had doctor appointments today, Adam at 10:45am and mine at 11:00am. Pretty tight schedule I know, but we got to Adam’s appointment early and they took him right in. He got a good report from his doctor and we were out of there in no time so that we actually got to my appointment 15 minutes early.

My appointment was my regular 3-month checkup with Dr. Feilmeier. They took us in pretty quick there as well, as they always do. His assistant checked my vision and pressure and everything as usual. Pressure was good and my vision has leveled off at 20/25; that’s where it’s been for the last few visits and is no longer fluctuating. Dr. Feilmeier came in and checked me all out and said everything looks great. He actually said something rather touching today. He said “You’re my favorite patient, I’ll remember you for the rest of my life.” He sounded sincere when he said it too. You know how you can tell when someone is saying something off-handedly or when they really mean it. Well, that’s the kind of guy he is. I said “Likewise.”

So we were out of there in no time at all and went up to McDonald’s to grab a bite to eat before the most exciting part of our day. But before I talk about that I need to back up a bit.

Two days ago, on Tuesday the 6th, I was at work in the parking lot at Walmart. As I was walking down one of the rows picking up carts I noticed a car that had a For Sale sign in the window. Now, I see lots and lots of cars every day naturally, and For Sale signs are nothing unusual, but this one caught my eye for a couple of reasons. First, it was a really nice looking car, and second because the owner wasn’t asking an outrageous amount of money for it: the sign said $1600. Most of the cars I see with For Sale signs are either junky or have huge price tags on them. Now, I should mention that I have not really been looking for a new car, although ever since I started working last September I’ve thought it would sure be nice to have a second car so Joni wouldn’t be stuck at home with nothing all the time. Anyway, this car was a 1997 30th Anniversary Edition Mercury Cougar XR7. It looked very nice on the outside and since the windows were down I poked my head in and saw a very nice interior as well. It had 121k miles on it, but you know a hundred thousand miles isn’t what it used to be. My ’99 Explorer has over 140k on it and runs great. This car looked like it had been taken care of so I stored the phone number in my phone and went on with my work day until I got off at 6pm.

When I got home I told Joni not to get excited but I had seen a nice looking car for sale. Joni followed my instructions very carefully and didn’t get excited at all (shya!) But I explained to her that I would have to see if Mom would or could loan us the money, then I would have to try to coordinate a day off with Brad so I could have him look at the car, then I would have to call the insurance company to see how much that would cost. A lot of different details to work out.

Well, I called Mom as soon as I had finished telling Joni about the car that evening, and she said she sure would loan us the money. First problem solved. Then I emailed Brad to find out when his next day off was. He wrote back a little later and said he was off on Thursday. Lo and behold, my next day off was Thursday as well. Second problem solved. So Wednesday morning at about 9:30 I called up the owner and asked about the car for sale. She said, “I think you have the wrong number.” Oops. I panicked for a moment before looking in my phone to see what number I had stored and I knew right away I had punched it in wrong. Phone numbers have a way of sticking in my head sometimes and I just happened to remember what was on the For Sale sign and I was a digit off when I stored the number. So I called the number and left a message on the answering machine and waited. In the meantime, I called my insurance company and asked about that and they quoted me about $26 a month, which is about what I was expecting. Third problem solved.

I worked from 2 to 7 that day and waited all day for a call back, but it never came. When I got home I called again and a man answered. I was happy to discover that I had gotten the right phone number that time. We talked for a few minutes and made an appointment for 1pm on Thursday. So that brings me back to our exciting day, today.

We pulled up to the man’s house at about 12:30, having finished our doctor appointments earlier than expected. The car was sitting outside and Joni got her first look at it and was more excited than ever. The owner, an elderly man named Buzz, came out and we talked about the car for a few minutes then he gave us the keys and we were off. I had asked him earlier if he would mind me driving it to Axtel so my brother could look at it and he had no problem with that at all. Oh, I also noticed as soon as we got there that the owner had reduced the price on the sign from $1600 to $1400. Everything seemed to be going our way.

So we drove to Axtel, a trip of 20 or so miles. The car rode great: the engine had a good feel, transmission felt good, the only problem was when I stepped on the brake it made the steering wheel shake. He had told me up front that he thought the rotors might be going bad, and when I told Brad what it was doing he confirmed that. We also noted that the car would need new tires before long. Other than that it checked out good. Brad checked out as much as he could without having a shop at his disposal and said it looked like a good buy. Just the words we wanted to hear.

We drove back to Kearney feeling very light-hearted. When we got back to the man’s house I told him we liked his car and would like to buy it. I said, “If I offered you $1300 would you take it?” He thought for about 3 seconds and said that he would. Honestly, I wouldn’t have fought very hard with him on that. So we went in and he signed over the title and gave us 3 sets of keys, took off his license plates and we were on our way with a new (to us) car. It just makes me giddy to look out the window and see two cars sitting in front of our house. And it’s nice! I don’t think I mentioned, it’s maroon with kind of a cream-colored partial leather interior. All the buttons and gadgets work, even the air-conditioning, everything except the cruise control, which isn’t a big deal. We like it very much.

I really wanted to include some photos, but I also want to wash and wax it before I take pictures, so those will be coming in the near future.

Rejoice with us in the rich blessings that have showered upon us!

Luke 11:28 But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” ESV

1 Peter 3:8-9 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. ESV

Christmas Carols

Our friend from church, Miss Carol, sent this to Joni and me the other day and I thought it was a perfect reminder of just what this Christmas season is all about. Carol wrote this herself, which surprised me; I didn’t know she was a writer.

Many people see the Christmas season in a far different light than those who prefer to observe "the REASON for the SEASON", Jesus. They would rather "Deck the Halls With Boughs of Holly", have a big evening out with "Frosty the Snowman" and "Good King Wenceslas" singing "God Rest You Merry Gentlemen". Most celebrate and "Ring Those Bells" those "Silver Bells" and keep "Jingle Bells" going on and on.

But most important, remember "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear", on a "Silent Night" that "We Three Kings of Orient " following the "Star of the East", said to each other "Go Tell It On a Mountain." "Angels From the Realms of Glory" sang "The First Noel”—“O Holy Night". "While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks" they paused, because of the "Angels We Have Heard On High" and "There's a Song in the Air.” They knew that they should go to "O Little Town of Bethlehem" because "A Babe is Born in Bethlehem". In Bethlehem, they found the Babe "Away in a Manger" because there was "No Room in the Inn" and there was "No Place But a Stable". They gathered around the "Newborn Babe" and asked "What Child is This?" Worshipping the Child, their response was "This is Christ the King." They sensed this was "Love Beyond Measure.”

"Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." (James 1:17) "O Come, All Ye Faithful", join together in praising God for His Perfect Gift. "JOY TO THE WORLD! The Lord is come. Let earth receive her King. Let every heart prepare Him room, and Heaven and nature sing, and Heaven and nature sing. And Heaven and Heaven and nature sing!"

From our family to yours, I hope that you have a most blessed and holy Christmas, and that all your dreams come true in 2013. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Luke 2:8-14 8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. KJV

For Sandy Hook

This was forwarded to me by a family member and I liked it so I thought I would reprint it here.
God Bless These Families

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:30am,
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air,
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say,
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“This is heaven.” Declared a small boy, “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus their savior; the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled and they smiled just the same,
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy that only heaven can bring,
those children all flew into the arms of their King.
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had,
he gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
Then he looked down on earth, the world far below,
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe.

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“May this country be delivered from the hands of fools “,
“I’m taking back my nation, I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“Come now my children, let me show you around.”
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran,
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Luke 18:16 But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. ESV

Matthew 18:3 “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ESV

Journal - On the Job

So last Wednesday I had orientation at Walmart. Me and two other new hires started at 1:30 pm and we basically spent four-and-a-half hours filling out papers, touring the store, getting talks from various managers and learning about the company history. We were there until 6pm. The other two are overnight stockers so I’ll probably never see them again. That was my official start day and I’ll get paid for that time.

I had Thursday off because it takes a couple of days for them to get all our information in the computers and get us activated.

On Friday I had a full 8 to 5 shift. This whole day was spent in the training room completing a whole bunch of training modules on the computer. I didn’t count but I think there must have been about 20 modules which took anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes each. This was all general training on things like safety and customer service that all employees have to complete. Each module had a short quiz at the end that had to be passed with at least an 80%. I passed each one the first time through except for the very last one I did. I had to take that one twice because by then I was tired and had a hard time focusing. But I got them all done in a day.

Saturday was my first day actually working. One of the managers took me outside and introduced me to the cart pusher that would train me. When I interviewed for the job I had asked if there was enough work as a cart pusher to keep a person busy all day, thinking that there might be a lot of downtime when you would have to find other things to do. She assured me that cart pushing was a full time job, and on Saturday I learned that she was right.

At slower times there are two cart pushers on duty, one covering each side of the parking lot. Saturdays are busy, and yesterday was a game day making it doubly busy. During busy times like that there are actually two pushers on each side and since I was only training there were actually five of us working and we were busy trying to keep up with it. It’s pretty amazing how quickly those carts can pile up.

So anyway, I learned how to gather carts by hand with a rope that allows you to handle 10 carts at a time, and I also learned how to use the mule, which can handle 20 at a time. A mule is a battery powered cart pusher that pushes a row of carts from behind. You can operate it by remote so that you can stand at the front of the row to steer them. That thing is pretty cool and fun to use.

By lunchtime my feet were already feeling sore. I’m just not used to being on my feet that much. Also my hands were starting to feel a little raw. The mule saves a ton of work but it’s still a pretty physical job. You have to stack the carts on and then unstack them, plus with a full load of carts you really have to throw your weight into them to steer the thing. On my lunch break I picked up a pair of those fingerless weight-lifting gloves that a lot of the cart-pushers wear, and also some cushioned inserts for my shoes. I had intended the inserts to go in my boots, which I will be wearing through the winter, but I decided to try them in my shoes for now.

Well, it was a pretty long day. I worked an 8 to 5 shift and by quitting time my feet and legs were really hurting. Also my face and neck were sunburned.

I got home in plenty of time to eat supper and then settle down for a nice Husker game. It turned out to be quite an exciting game! Nebraska was down 20 to 3 early on and I have to admit I thought it was going to get ugly. But in the second half Nebraska rallied and ended up winning 30 to 27. Wow, that was a great game! I wish they would play every game like they did in the second half of this one. Next week will be a real challenge with Ohio State, who is looking pretty good this year. Periodically throughout the game I was getting up and stretching my legs and by the end of the game I was feeling almost normal again.

Today we decided not to go to church. I really didn’t want my job to interfere with that and I told them I couldn’t work Sunday mornings, which they didn’t seem to have any problem with. Once I get acclimated to the job I don’t think it will be a problem. I got up this morning feeling pretty much normal again. My feet and legs felt good and my sunburn had faded. I only had to work 12 to 5 so that was good. Another 8-hour shift might have been bad. It was much less busy today and there was actually time to take a short breather in between cart runs. I wore shorts instead of jeans and stayed much cooler, plus I wore a hat to keep the sun off my face. I also took a jug of water so I didn’t have to keep running in to the store to use the drinking fountain. It was a much better day. By 5 my feet and calves were getting sore again but not near as bad as yesterday. The inserts I put in my shoes helped a lot and the gloves keep my hands from getting sore.

Tomorrow I am off so it will be good to relax and rest up for my next shift. On Tuesday I have another short day and then a full day on Wednesday. I should be ready to go again by then. This job is going to get me in shape, that’s for sure. Today I got a lot of advice on how to dress for rainy and/or cold days so I’ll need to do a little shopping before long.

So my first two days on the job were hard, but good. I could grow to like this job I think; we’re left alone in the parking lot for the most part and the work is not complicated. And no office politics, which will be nice.

The fact that God prepared me for this job is not lost on me. Without keeping toned up with the exercise bike these last few years I don’t think I would have lasted out the day on Saturday. And a summer of yard work and gardening put some color on my skin so that my sunburn didn’t bother much at all. God knows I don’t like cold weather so maybe we’ll have a mild winter? Huh God? Huh? Well, we’ll see about that. Whatever comes my way I know that I can face it with God on my side.

Isaiah 12:2 “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.” ESV

Luke 12:22-23 And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ESV

Journal - Garage Sailing

Last weekend, Joni and I went garage sailing! No, I don’t mean that we hit the high seas in a garage. Actually we visited several garage sales. Every year, the town of Gibbon sets aside one weekend and everybody who wants to hold a garage sale does it on the same weekend, so there are lots of them going all over town and little maps of the town showing where they are and a few of the items each is offering.. We don’t really have any money for things like that, but Mom said she would help us out if we felt like looking around and if we found something we could use. So we hopped in the truck and headed to town on Friday, around noon.

Well, we struck gold on our very first stop. They had a nice patio table set for just $12! It was a nice sized, glass-top table with four chairs and an umbrella. We quickly snatched that up before someone else got any ideas and moved on to the next sale.

We stopped at four or five more sales that day but didn’t really have any more big finds. At one, we picked up a few t-shirts for Adam and myself for fifty-cents each, and a couple of little knick-knacks. Actually, I did find a waffle iron, which was kind of exciting. Last October, when we went to Omaha for my surgery, I had a big waffle at the hotel’s continental breakfast and I had been wanting my own waffle iron ever since. This was a small one but it was only $5 so I thought it would make a good starter iron.

The really exciting part of the day came when I talked to my sister, Bobbi. She knew that I had been wanting a wagon or wheel-barrow to use around the yard out here. Well, she hit the garage sales earlier that morning and actually found both at the same sale! Our truck was full of patio furniture that day so we couldn’t go over and pick them up yet, but we made plans to go to her house Saturday morning and get them.

So Saturday morning we got to Bobbi’s house and looked in the shed and I was amazed! I had been hoping for perhaps a little red wagon, like a radio-flyer or something, but this thing is the monster truck of wagons! It has a solid metal frame and the sides and bottom are formed by some heavy-gauge wire mesh. The wheels are big and actually hold air, and all four sides can be unhooked and lowered to make something like a flat-bed. It’s a really awesome wagon and I was really excited about it.

The wheel-barrow was also much more than I had expected. At Mom’s house the previous weekend, I had been asking Uncle Butch what had become of Grandpa Howard’s wheel-barrow, just wondering if he had it or if it had gone in the sale after Grandpa died back in 1982. Apparently it had gone in the sale, but the one Bobbi found really reminds me a lot of that one. It’s a big one and pretty heavy duty with a large, air-filled tire, solid wood framing that extends out for the handles, and a big metal bucket. Again, it was much more than I had hoped for. The wagon and the wheel-barrow were great garage sale finds and my gracious sister gave them to us as gifts. So we loaded the wagon into the back of the truck and tied the wheel-barrow down on top and headed into town to visit a few more sales.

Saturday’s sales mostly had various knick-knackery and little things so we didn’t really find much of interest. After stopping at about five sales, we decided to hit one more and call it a day. Well, at that last sale Joni found a Health-Rider, which is a piece of exercise equipment. For nine years Joni has been talking about this exercise thing that she used to have; how much she liked it, how she wished she still had it, etc. This one she found at the sale wasn’t exactly the same, but it was very similar and they only wanted $20 for it so we took it. We felt kind of bad because there was a little boy riding it when we came up. He kept asking his mother why they had to get rid of it and “Can’t we keep it Mom?” He cried and cried when we loaded it into the truck but Mom kept reassuring us that she definitely wanted it gone and that her little boy was having a bad day.

So with wagon, wheel-barrow, and Health-Rider loaded up, we called it a day and headed home. When we got there, we hauled the Health-Rider to the basement and found a place in the shed for the wagon. The wheel-barrow had to stay outside because the shed was pretty full with that big ol’ wagon in there. Our garage sailing had been a lot of fun and we actually ended up with some really useful items instead of a lot of junk. Once again, through the good graces of God and family, our needs, and even some wants, were met.

Luke 12:30-32 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. ESV

Thought For The Day

While we were driving home from Grand Island on Thursday afternoon, I began to think about all the ways and places you can see God at work all around us. The gray overcast sky promising rain, the trees which are once again green and full of life after their months of dormancy, even the grass and weeds along the roadside all bear witness to his power and majesty.

The grass and weeds especially caught my eye. Much of it is green and healthy again but some of it is still brown and dormant. It occurred to me that people are like that. Some are green and healthy and bearing fruit, while some are brown and dormant. But just like the grass, even the dormant people can spring to life again with the proper nurturing. That nurturing comes mostly from God, but it can also come from you and me. Do you know someone who needs a little nurturing? It’s pretty amazing how the simplest of kind words or actions can work a change in someone who’s feeling down. And it doesn’t cost a thing.

I know, that sounds a little corny but it’s significant to me personally because I can see how God is changing the way I see things. He has opened my eyes both literally and figuratively and is allowing me to see Him, and the world, in new and different ways.

John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ESV

Luke 6:38 give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” ESV

Have a Great Day!

Special thanks to Joni for sharing this!

Isaiah 55:1 “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. ESV

Luke 12:22-23 And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ESV

Journal - Easter

After our exciting Wednesday evening with the fire, Thursday and Friday passed without much happening. I had been hoping to get outside and do some work in the yard on Friday but it was cloudy and gray and very windy and just not very pleasant to be out in. So we sat around the house all day, all three of us since Adam had Thursday and Friday off from school.

Saturday turned out bright and sunny with temps around 65. I decided to work in the yard for a bit even though it was still a bit on the breezy side. I got the weed-eater out of the shed to look and see if I could do anything with it. It works okay as far as I know but the fuel line is dry-rotted and snapped off. I wanted to see if I could figure out how to replace it but I couldn’t really tell much. I knew I would be seeing my brother Brad, who knows a lot more than I do about fixing things, on Sunday so I decided to wait and ask him about it.

So I put the weed-eater away and got out the rake and went to work on the area that had been our vegetable garden two years ago, but last year was nothing at all. We had been piling downed branches there and an awful lot of leaves had gathered there as well. I started raking and filled up my 50 gallon bucket 5 or 6 times with leaves and branches and various trash. It was too windy to burn so I dumped it all in a big pile near the incinerator where it would be ready to go on the next calm day.

And then Sunday was Easter! After a really nice service at our church in Kearney we gathered at my sister’s house as we usually do for Easter. Mom was there, Brad and his family, Bobbi and Mike’s family of course including all four kids, Mike’s step-daughter Courtney and her two little girls Hannah and Samantha, and the three of us. Mike and Bobbi had prepared a couple of delicious hams along with cheesy potatoes, corn, strawberries, rolls, wheat bread from Bobbi’s bread-machine, deviled eggs, and Brad brought his famous pasta salad. It was a really excellent meal and I had two plates full, which I hardly ever do anymore.

Before dinner I was asking Mike about planting potatoes. Mike knows just about everything about agriculture and gave me some good tips on potatoes. All you have to do is cut up some potatoes and plant them, making sure that each piece has an eye on it. He said that it’s not a bad idea to let the pieces dry for a day or two before planting them to avoid rot but also said that he has put them straight in the ground before and had good results. Store-bought potatoes may not work as well because they are often sprayed with an inhibitor to keep the eyes from sprouting right away, but the potatoes I had were direct from a grower; they had donated some to Mom’s church for a fund raiser and Mom had given us some. After all of Mike’s good information and advice, I felt I was ready to try some.

During dinner I also asked Brad about the weed-eater. Without him being able to look at it, it was naturally difficult to make a diagnosis but said I should check if the fuel line has a nipple on the outside of the fuel tank, something I hadn’t thought to check, or if it’s inside the tank. So that’s my next step on that “project”.

After dinner, the kids had their annual Easter egg hunt. The youngest of the kids is now 14 with the oldest being in their 20’s but they are all good sports about it. Oh, except for Courtney’s two little girls who are still small, that made it more fun. They hunted their eggs and generally had a good time.

After that, we sat around and chatted for a while, which I always enjoy, and then it was time to go home. It was a very fun day and I was still stuffed with food and felt very content.

Matthew 17:22-23 As they were gathering in Galilee, Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him, and he will be raised on the third day.” And they were greatly distressed. ESV

Luke 24:1-3 But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. ESV

Journal - Working Out

So with our latest trip to Omaha over and our tire problems taken care of, we began a new week with a few days to rest up and relax before doing it all over again.

I decided to begin the week by working out. No, not exercising exactly, I haven’t been doing very much of that since my surgery. I’m talking about working outside! Monday turned out to be an absolutely gorgeous day, temps in the upper sixties and a light breeze instead of the gale force winds that we have so often. This spring I have been out in the yard a time or two just doing little things like picking up limbs or raking or edging the sidewalk. It’s been a long time since I could do anything like that. I was blind during our first two-and-a-half years in Nebraska, and before that we lived in city apartments with no yard to work in anyway.

My first project for Monday was the wishing well. In our back yard, out toward the road, someone had put a wooden wishing well. It was just an ornamental one, although I couldn’t tell if someone had bought it or actually built it. It was about 5 feet tall and perhaps 3 feet across the middle. Sometime during the last winter it had blown over in a windstorm and when Adam tried to set it back up we discovered it was completely rotted and just wouldn’t stand anymore. So Joni pulled the truck out there and I picked up all the pieces into a 50-gallon bucket and set it in the back. Then Joni drove it around to the incinerator and I tossed it on top of some trash that I had already set to burning. It was so dry and rotten I knew it would burn up good and it sure did.

Onto that I started throwing some limbs and branches that had blown down. We have four different piles of limbs sitting around of all the blow down from the last three years and I’ve been working at getting them burned up. Each time I burn trash or leaves or something I throw on some branches from one of the piles. On Monday I finished up the first pile and got a pretty good start on the second. Most of the branches are small enough to just throw in but a few had to be cut up, which I did with my handsaw, the only saw I have.

After I had decided I had done enough burning for the day there was nothing left to do but wait for the fire to go down. The wind was light but I didn’t want to go in the house and forget about it. While I was keeping on eye on it I decided to get out the lawn mower and do a little mowing. The week before, I had gotten the mower out and done the little bit in front of the house, but hadn’t gotten to the much larger back yard yet. So I started in and got about half of that done before I was just plum tired out. Gone are the days when I could just mow and mow for two or three hours. It’s kind of fun to mow again although I have a little trouble with it. As I mow, I can’t really see the lines very well and it’s hard to tell where I’ve already been exactly. I end up missing patches or mowing over patches that I’ve already done. I don’t really mind very much, it’s just so good to be doing something again.

So with half the back yard done, I put the mower away. The fire was mostly out by then so I raked at it a bit and then took the hose and sprayed all around the incinerator just to make sure nothing caught and my workout was finished. I was out for about three hours all together and had a good amount of color on my skin, mostly red. That’s something else I haven’t done for a long time and I loved it! It wasn’t a bad burn, a little itchy and hot but not really painful at all. Four days later it’s mostly turned brown and hasn’t begun to peel yet so maybe I’ll get to keep it.

So that was my workout. It was such a beautiful day in so many ways that I felt truly blessed. This farm has been a really wonderful thing for us. I can’t imagine a better place to have spent my period of blindness, or my current period of recovery. The peace and quiet, the closeness to God and nature, and the feel of the sun on my back as I work in the yard. Do you suppose God planned it that way right from the start? Of course He did! He knew what would be best for us even if we had our doubts, something He has proven to me time and time again. I just can’t wait to see what else He has in store for us! Oops, patience…patience…

Romans 8:28 we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ESV

Luke 12:22-23 And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ESV

Journal - Flat Tire Continued

So we had the spare tire on the truck, and more trips to Omaha to look forward to. Not a very happy prospect

Well, after we had gotten home that Thursday, Joni and I let our usual people know that we were home safe and filled them in on how the day went. Right away we were offered two new tires for the truck. On Friday morning we received another offer of two tires. And just like that, God took away our worries.

Saturday morning we went up to Walmart to get the new tires. Our friend from church met us there to drop off the money for two of them. We stood and talked for a few minutes while the truck was being worked on and then her son called her and said that she should run us all out to his house. He and his family go to our church as well and had a new house built recently on the old family farm south of Kearney. So we hopped in the car and ran out there for a few minutes. By the time we got back to Walmart the truck was all done with four brand new tires on it.

In overhearing another customer in the tire department that day, I had found out that you can save $2.50 per tire if you take the old ones with you so I did that. Ten dollars is ten dollars after all and we’ve got room for the tires out here at the farm. On Sunday I took the three tires that were still whole and planted them half in the ground along one edge of the area that used to be our garden. No particular reason, I just thought I’d try to do something with them instead of piling them in a shed or something. I think they look kind of neat there. Before I planted them Joni examined them and sure enough one had a nail in it. The nail had probably caught in the tread somewhere and gradually worked its way into the tire as we drove down the interstate. Once the nail let the air out of the tire it didn’t take long for the rim to shred it to pieces.

It’s always tempting to ask why things happen. Why did God let that nail get in our tire? Didn’t we have enough to deal with without that? Of course we know that God’s plans are rarely evident to us. He had His reasons even if I don’t know what they are. Maybe by picking up that nail in my tire I saved a mother traveling cross-country with her children from having to deal with it. There are thousands of possibilities. If I saved someone like that from having a flat then it was worth it.

You always have to look on the bright side of things. If you don’t, the darkness of this world will consume you. There is good in everybody and everything if you just look for it. Sometimes you have to look harder than others, but it’s there. Keep doing that, and pretty soon your whole attitude will begin to change, and then your life will begin to change, and then the lives of those around you will begin to change. It’s a choice each one of us can make, and with God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” ESV

Luke 11:10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ESV

Luke 17:5 The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" ESV

Stand Up!

I received one of those forwarded chain emails the other day, I’m sure you’re all familiar with these. I usually just delete them without even looking, but this one caught my eye so I read it. It concerns a man named Darrell Scott who spoke before Congress on May 27, 1999. Darrell is the father of Rachel Scott who was murdered at Columbine High School just 5 weeks before. His statement was thus:

“Since the dawn of creation, there has been both good and evil in the hearts of men and women, and we all contain those seeds: We contain the seeds of kindness and we contain the seeds of violence. And the death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joyce Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other 11 children who died, must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.

The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used, neither was it the NCA - the National Club Association - the true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in his heart. In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA, I am not a hunter, I do not even own a gun, I'm not here to represent or to defend the NRA, because I don't believe they are responsible for my daughter's death, therefore I don't believe they need to be defended by me. If I believed that they had anything to do with Rachel's murder, I would be their strongest opponent. I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy, it was a spiritual event which should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies. Much of that blame lies here in this room - much of that blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves.

I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expressed my feelings best, and it was written before I knew that I would be speaking here today, and I'd like to read that:

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You’ve stripped away our heritage,
You’ve outlawed simple prayer.

Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question “Why?”

You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need.

Men and women are three part beings: we have a body, and we have a soul, and we have a spirit ... And I believe we fail to recognize that third element, that really does need to be recognized by the legislative bodies of this country, that's been ignored for so long. Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries, and we know this is a historic fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We've refused to honor God, and in doing so we opened the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs, politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that continue to erode away our personal and private liberties.

We don't need more restrictive laws. Erik and Dylan would not have been stopped by more gun laws or metal detectors. No amount of laws can stop someone who spends months of planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts. Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key, and there is a spiritual awakening that is taking place that will not be squelched. We don't need more religion, we don't need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage, we do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people's basic needs are being ignored. We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgement that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God.

When my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he didn't hesitate to pray in school, and I defy any law or politician to deny him that right. I challenge every young person in America and around the world to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School, prayer was brought back to our schools. Don't let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your conscience and denies your God-given right to communicate with Him.

Amen to that. I don’t imagine our Congressmen and women enjoyed hearing that, but it was certainly something that they needed to hear, and something that we all need to hear. It must have taken Mr. Scott a great deal of courage to stand up in front of our nation’s leaders and tell them point blank that they have dropped the ball, but I’m sure he understands that we all must take a share of that blame. Every one of us who sees wrong and turns a blind eye to it; every one of us who does not stand up for what we believe in must share in that blame. If all the Christians of this nation, and of every other nation, would stand up and speak out the way Mr. Scott did, we could change the world.

Darrell Scott didn’t stop with his speech before Congress, he went on to create “Rachel’s Challenge”, an organization devoted to empowering not only young people, but anyone who is willing to start a chain reaction of kindness in their school, business, or community.

Mark 3:24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. ESV

Luke 11:23 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. ESV

Psalms 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God. KJV


RELATED READING:
Read the full transcript of Mr. Scott’s statement here.
Visit the Rachel’s Challenge website to find out how you can get involved.
Learn more about Rachel Joy Scott here.

Journal - Some Christmas Thoughts

Yesterday we went to the Christmas Eve service at our church. They held services Friday at 7pm, and also Saturday at 3 and 5:30. We went to the 3pm service to avoid having to drive home in the dark.
Anyway, the service was kind of a little play about a Christian couple who invites a non-Christian couple to their home for a Christmas get-together. Through the course of the evening, the non-Christians see how the Christians speak and act and they begin to ask questions. For me, the pivotal point of the evening was the following exchange, which I have paraphrased:

We need Jesus to save us.
Save us from what?
Save us from ourselves!

Save us from ourselves? Well, yes that makes a lot of sense when I think about it. The world is full of all kinds of distractions and temptations. You can call it the world, or satan, or sin, or society, or whatever you want, but it all amounts to the same thing. When we give in to it, we have no one to blame but ourselves and that’s why we need Jesus to save us from ourselves. That’s a rather elementary concept I suppose, but I had really never looked at it quite that way. Those distractions will always be there but I need to learn to keep my focus on Jesus
So that’s what I’ve been thinking about the last couple of days. The play was acted out in several scenes and there was singing in between the scenes, groups and soloists. The service closed with a traditional singing of Silent Night by candlelight. It was a wonderful service, but it was really that one point that God seemed to want to make clear to me, and I’m glad He did. He’s such a wonderful teacher and it always makes me feel kind of special that He will go to so much trouble to reach out to little old me. Maybe it’s not that much trouble for God, or maybe He just thinks I’m worth it. Something else to think about.
I hope that you have (and will) feel a special connection to our Savior this holiday season. That’s what it’s all about after all.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Luke 2:10-14 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Journal - A Day of Healing

Saturday morning I woke up and noticed an improvement in my vision right away. It was clearer than it had been on Thursday and Friday, and most of the patterns and sparklies were gone, although not completely.
We didn’t do much on Saturday, just took it easy and hung out here at home. It was windy outside, but not very cold so I went out and walked around the place for a little bit. Nothing strenuous, just walking and exploring.
Late Saturday afternoon I watched a movie. Yeah, watched. I always enjoyed watching movies and it’s something that I’ve really missed. The DVS movies that I’ve been listening to are a blessing and I’m so thankful for them, but it was pretty cool to pop in a DVD and see the pictures. For my first movie experience, I chose Star Trek: Insurrection, my favorite of the Star Trek movies.
Saturday evening I spent some time playing with my mp3 player. I learned how to use it while I was blind: loading movies or books onto it and listening to them, and switching over to the FM radio function. Last night I just explored it, looking at some of the other features it has and playing with settings and such. The print on it is too small for me to handle, but with a magnifying glass I can read it very clearly. That was fun.
And that was about it for Saturday. It was a pretty relaxing day. Throughout the day, I noticed some further improvement in my vision, and felt like I may have gotten back to where I was on Tuesday when the bandage came off. Overall, it was a good healing day.

Luke 11:34-35 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. ESV

Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ESV

Journal - Surgery Discussions

Today, I got a couple of phone calls from the doctor’s office in Omaha.
The first call was from Denise who is in the billing office. I had spoken to her a couple of weeks ago about how I would pay for my surgery. Medicare only pays 80%, and Denise said that would leave me with about $3000 to cover, with $1500 being due up front. She called today just to confirm that I was aware of how much money I would need to come up with, although I’m thinking that this time she said $1000 was due up front. Anyway, I told her that I was aware.
The second call came a few minutes later. This one was from Elinore who is the transplant coordinator. There are a lot of different things that need to happen before surgery, and Elinor’s job is to make sure they all happen. Elinore told me a lot about how the process works, some of which I knew from my transplant seven years ago, and some of which I didn’t.
She said that once the doctor is informed that there is a cornea available, they basically have five days to get it in my eye, and a lot has to happen in those five days. The cornea is shipped to the doctor in Omaha. The doctor sends it to a lab in Denver to be tested; a lot of tests have to be performed on the cornea to make sure it is healthy. Then the cornea goes back to Omaha for the surgery. Elinore also told me that there’s always the possibility that the cornea will not pass all the tests, in which case the surgery has to be called off until another cornea is available, something I had to learn the hard way seven years ago. I asked her why they can’t just wait until the cornea is cleared before they notify me, and she said it’s because the time-frame is so short. As soon as they know there is a cornea, they go ahead and schedule the surgery to make sure the necessary staff and facilities will be available. They also will notify me at that time to make sure I’m available. If they waited until the cornea was tested and cleared, there just wouldn’t be enough time to pull everything together.
Back on May 9th, when I saw Dr. Feilmeier in Kearney, he had told me they would probably do my cataract surgery first, and then the cornea later. Since Elinore was telling me all about the transplant and hadn’t mentioned the cataract, I asked her about that. I think that caught her by surprise a little bit, but she looked at the doctor’s notes and said it looked like he was planning to do both at the same time. She admitted that the notes were not perfectly clear, however, so she said she would check on that and let me know. I always thought it would make sense to do both since the only way to get to the cataract is through the cornea anyway, but when I asked the doctor about that in May, he said the cataract is handled through a small incision on the outer edge of the cornea, rather than removing the cornea completely. That was an interesting bit of information. It would be nice to get both things done at the same time, but I suppose the more things they mess with, the more chance there is of complications. Well, I’m willing to trust the doctor’s judgement on that.
I asked Elinore if the surgery would be in the morning and she said there was really no way to tell. I was wondering because if it’s early, we’ll probably have to go to Omaha the day before. I know we’ll have to spend the night the day of the surgery, because I have to go back the next day for a follow-up. After that, my follow-ups can be in Kearney unless the doctor sees something he doesn’t like. They have a doctor in this area every two weeks so it just depends on if he’s comfortable letting me go that long.
And that’s about it. Elinore is sending me maps and information. She said that sometime before surgery I’ll have to get a physical, but they’ll let me know when it’s time for that. Not a bad idea since I haven’t had one for about 20 years. Oh, she also told me that there’s a hotel near the surgical center that gives a discounted rate to surgery patients, although at $45 a night the rate didn’t sound that special to me. Still, it would be nice to be close and not have to do a lot of driving around in the city. Hey, if the surgery goes well, maybe I can drive us home! Just kidding Mom, I knew that would get a rise out of you. I don’t even have a license.
Well, I think that’s about it. It’s starting to sound like this might actually happen. That’s a little scary for a lot of reasons.

Luke 11:34-35 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. ESV

Proverbs 20:12 The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the Lord hath made even both of them. KJV

Journal - Another Christmas in the Bag

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. I just don’t know where the time gets to; the older I get, the faster the years go by. I had a really nice Christmas season though. Last year, Christmas kind of depressed me but not so much this year.
On Christmas Eve, Joni, Adam, and I wen to the candlelight service at our church in Kearney. I always liked candlelight services, they’re so beautiful, and I was a little surprised to find that not being able to see the candles didn’t bother me so much. It was a nice service; scripture readings and songs about Jesus’ birth. It was only about an hour long and I kind of wished it could have been a little longer. After that, we stopped at Burger King for supper, arare treat for us. We wanted Runza but they weren’t open, and the line at McDonald’s was huge.
On Christmas morning, I was awakened bright an early to open presents, then our whole family gathered at Brad’s house. He and Cindy put on a grandfeast with turkey and ham and all the good things that go with them. After dinner, we had our gift exchange and sat around talking for a while. Then we just came home and relaxed. Joni and I ended the evening listening to “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I downloaded the DVS version of the film, which is basically the audio track with a narrator describing the scenes in between lines of dialogue. That one was narrated by President George Bush Sr, an he actually did a good job of it.
Aunt LeeDel came down from SiouxFalls on the Monday after Christmas. On Tuesday she came out to hear my Christmas music, and Mom and Bobbi listened a second time. I’m glad I got to play again, I enjoy it a lot. I’m beginning to appreciate being able to use the gift God gave me to bring joy to others, instead of just enjoying it myself. Just one more lesson that God is teaching me through my blindness. Before I went blind, I didn’t really play very much.
So we had a good Christmas. I remember last year we got snowed in on Christmas day and couldn’t go anywhere. I’m glad that didn’t happen again.
I hope that you, reader, had a nice Christmas with your family as well, and I wish you all the best in the New Year.

Luke 2:15-20 When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. ESV

Journal - Audiobook Heaven Update

Okay, more exciting news about Audiobook Heaven! I’ve been listening to the audiobooks that Susan from Audiobook Jukebox and SF Site sent me. SF Site is updated twice a month with new book reviews. It works kind of like a magazine, but since it’s on the internet it’s called an e-zine. I had written reviews for two of the books Susan sent me in the first part of December and sent them off to her. When the mid-December issue of SF Site was published, I was a little surprised, and a lot pleased, to see that they had used both of them. I reviewed “The Golden Apples of the Sun” by Ray Bradbury, and “Hull Zero Three” by Greg Bear, and they can both be found there now. I sent Susan a third review just a few days ago so maybe it will show up in the early January issue. In the meantime, I’ve also requested two more books from Susan.
In other news, I’ve been exchanging emails during the last week with my contact at Blackstone Audio. I hadn’t heard from her for a while so I was asking about the audiobooks she was sending. She said they had gone out by UPS on December 6, and when they tracked it, it showed that the package was delivered on the 10th. Unfortunately, I never got them. Good old UPS. I hope whoever got those books enjoys them. I was pretty disappointed, ofcourse, not only because I had been looking forward to getting them, but also because I was afraid Blackstone wouldn’t want to bother sending me any more after the first bunch got lost. My fears proved to be groundless, though. My contact, Tanya, was very gracious and said she would send them again. She even said that in addition to the three books I had requested, she was sending me two more. One of the books I requested was “Mars” by Ben Bova, and Tanya also threw in the other two books in the series, “Return to Mars” and Mars Life.” I can’t tell you how happy that made me! I received her email on Wednesday saying that she had sent them out, and I should get them next Wednesday, the 29th. I was a little disappointed that she had sent them UPS again, but I suppose that can’t be helped. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed next Wednesday as I wait for the UPS truck to come around.
In case I don’t post again before Christmas, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Safe travels to those of you who might be traveling for the holiday.

Luke 2:10-12 Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” NKJV