So on Tuesday, Adam had a dentist appointment. I normally don’t ride along for his doctor or dentist appointments, but this time I did because I wanted to stop in and see the doctor, whose office is right next door. I have a dentist appointment of my own on Wednesday, but the doctor isn’t open on Wednesday. The only option really left open to me was to ride along to Adam’s appointment and then visit the doctor afterward.
So we got to the dentist and no more than got sat down in the waiting area when this lady came over and started talking to us. She said she was from the Lion’s Club and that they do lots of things to help blind people. I guess she just happened to notice that I had dark glasses and a white cane. Anyway, she asked if I was interested in a seeing-eye dog. She said they have a training facility in Michigan where they send people for that. I explained that I wasn’t permanently blind, that I just needed surgery to be able to see again. She said the Lion’s Club can pay for that. I said that I was concerned about all the doctor visits before and after the surgery. She said the Lion’s Club can pay for that. She asked if I had applied for Medicaid and I said I had Medicaid but there was an $800 deductible every month. She said the Lion’s Club can help with that. All very interesting. She told me to think about it and left her business card. Incidentally, she was there selling peaches. She said the Lion’s sell lugs of peaches to raise money. She just happened to go to the dentist’s office to sell peaches right at the same time we came in for an appointment.
Does this sound like a slam-dunk to you? I’m not so sure. I think this represents a very real possibility of getting my sight back and to tell you the truth, that scares me. I’ve learned a lot since I went blind; a lot about God, and a lot about myself. I’m living a better life now, not perfect by any means, but better than I used to. By better, I mean closer to God. What if I get my sight back, and I start sliding back into the person I used to be? I’d rather stay blind than have that happen. What happened today seems like a pretty clear message from God, maybe He thinks I’m ready. I don’t feel ready, but do we ever?
I was listening to a movie the other day, “Shawshank Redemption.” It’s been a favorite of mine for several years, but something about it really struck me this time. In case you’re not familiar with it, I’ll tell you that it’s a prison movie where the characters are all serving life sentences or something similar. There’s a portion of the movie where they are talking about how prisoners can become institutionalized. They spend twenty or thirty or forty years in prison until it’s really all they know. They know the routines, they have friends, they know where everything is and they know what they’re supposed to do. The outside world can be so scary to them that they will commit another crime just so they can go back to prison. Anyway, I began to wonder if that is happening to me. I’ve built a new life around my blindness. I know where everything is and I know what to do. The outside world seems a little scary.
Well, I have too many feelings to sort out right now. This will require some thought and prayer. I’ve waited all this time, I guess there’s no reason to rush into anything.
By the way, I didn’t get to see the doctor, she didn’t come in today.
Amos 4:13 He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals His thoughts to man, He who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth--the LORD God Almighty is His name.
Isaiah 58:11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
Showing posts with label coincidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coincidence. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Journal - BCBS Blues, NCAA Pinks
Well.
On Monday I got a letter from BCBS saying that they have denied my application for insurance. Last week, they had asked for records from Doctor Hargrave. We mailed a copy of that request to her office in Dallas on Friday the 19th. The denial letter I got on Monday was dated the 19th. They asked for the records but didn’t wait to get them. They didn’t even mention the records, they said I was denied because of my pre-existing conditions which they have known about all along. Is it a coincidence that their denial letter was dated just two days before Barrack Obama signed the new health bill? No, I don’t believe in coincidences, as I have mentioned before. I don't really think there is anything in the new health bill that would have a direct effect on my case, but BCBS wasn’t taking any chances I suppose. Well, I kept saying that I wished they would make a decision, one way or the other and I got my wish. What's next? I have no idea. More waiting. I'll just have to wait and see where God leads me next.
That was the bad news. Now for the good news! Nebraska won their second round game against UCLA on Tuesday night! It was a pretty exciting game too. Well, the first half was, anyway.
UCLA struck like lightning in the opening minutes of the game and took a 13 to 4 lead very quickly. The Lady Huskers battled back, though, and tied it up at 15 before going on to take a ten point lead. The first half ended with a five point lead for Nebraska. UCLA came out fighting again in the second half and came to within one point, but it was all Nebraska after that. UCLA never gave up, they kept scoring points, but Nebraska was just too much for them. The final score was 82 to 70 or something like that.. Nebraska was hitting the three pointers again. They struggled with that in the first half, but started hitting them almost at will in the second. And not just one or two players, either, I think seven or eight different players hit three point shots.
With this win, Nebraska advances to the sweet sixteen, which is just a fancy way of saying there are only sixteen teams left playing for the national championship. Those sixteen teams come together in Kansas City this weekend. Nebraska is supposed to play Sunday night against Kentucky, but no time was set yet. This marks the first time a Nebraska basketball team, men’s or women’s, has made it to the sweet sixteen. Pretty amazing. Wouldn’t it be great if they won the national championship? Even if they don’t, I hope they can keep having this kind of success for many years to come. What a boon to the University and to Nebraska sports. Seeing any Husker team do that well really leaves me feeling in the pink. Wasn’t that a clever tie-in to my title?
For those of you who don’t live around here, my hometown of Gibbon, which I live very close to now, built a new school and began using it this year. Gibbon is a small town so they only need one school for all grades. The old school, where my siblings and I attended, and also where my parents and their siblings attended, and where my sister's kids have attended, has been standing vacant this year. I know they really neded a new building, but it’s sad to think of the old school just sitting there empty.
Now it sounds like someone may be interested in doing something with it, though. There is an email going around to everyone in Gibbon and the neighboring towns with a link to an online survey. The survey asks several questions about what kinds of activities or services the people around here might be interested in. Maybe they are thinking of using the old school for a community center or something like that. That would be awesome if they can pull it off, although it honestly doesn’t seem like there are enough people around here to support something like that. I sure wish them lots of luck in their venture though!
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
On Monday I got a letter from BCBS saying that they have denied my application for insurance. Last week, they had asked for records from Doctor Hargrave. We mailed a copy of that request to her office in Dallas on Friday the 19th. The denial letter I got on Monday was dated the 19th. They asked for the records but didn’t wait to get them. They didn’t even mention the records, they said I was denied because of my pre-existing conditions which they have known about all along. Is it a coincidence that their denial letter was dated just two days before Barrack Obama signed the new health bill? No, I don’t believe in coincidences, as I have mentioned before. I don't really think there is anything in the new health bill that would have a direct effect on my case, but BCBS wasn’t taking any chances I suppose. Well, I kept saying that I wished they would make a decision, one way or the other and I got my wish. What's next? I have no idea. More waiting. I'll just have to wait and see where God leads me next.
That was the bad news. Now for the good news! Nebraska won their second round game against UCLA on Tuesday night! It was a pretty exciting game too. Well, the first half was, anyway.
UCLA struck like lightning in the opening minutes of the game and took a 13 to 4 lead very quickly. The Lady Huskers battled back, though, and tied it up at 15 before going on to take a ten point lead. The first half ended with a five point lead for Nebraska. UCLA came out fighting again in the second half and came to within one point, but it was all Nebraska after that. UCLA never gave up, they kept scoring points, but Nebraska was just too much for them. The final score was 82 to 70 or something like that.. Nebraska was hitting the three pointers again. They struggled with that in the first half, but started hitting them almost at will in the second. And not just one or two players, either, I think seven or eight different players hit three point shots.
With this win, Nebraska advances to the sweet sixteen, which is just a fancy way of saying there are only sixteen teams left playing for the national championship. Those sixteen teams come together in Kansas City this weekend. Nebraska is supposed to play Sunday night against Kentucky, but no time was set yet. This marks the first time a Nebraska basketball team, men’s or women’s, has made it to the sweet sixteen. Pretty amazing. Wouldn’t it be great if they won the national championship? Even if they don’t, I hope they can keep having this kind of success for many years to come. What a boon to the University and to Nebraska sports. Seeing any Husker team do that well really leaves me feeling in the pink. Wasn’t that a clever tie-in to my title?
For those of you who don’t live around here, my hometown of Gibbon, which I live very close to now, built a new school and began using it this year. Gibbon is a small town so they only need one school for all grades. The old school, where my siblings and I attended, and also where my parents and their siblings attended, and where my sister's kids have attended, has been standing vacant this year. I know they really neded a new building, but it’s sad to think of the old school just sitting there empty.
Now it sounds like someone may be interested in doing something with it, though. There is an email going around to everyone in Gibbon and the neighboring towns with a link to an online survey. The survey asks several questions about what kinds of activities or services the people around here might be interested in. Maybe they are thinking of using the old school for a community center or something like that. That would be awesome if they can pull it off, although it honestly doesn’t seem like there are enough people around here to support something like that. I sure wish them lots of luck in their venture though!
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Little Things
Something happened today. It was just a small something, but it kind of got me thinking, so I decided to put it down in my blog.
A few days ago, I posted some blind observations, and I was talking about dropping things, and how hard it is to find them if they bounce or roll away. Well, today I was trying to get a fish oil pill out of the bottle and I dropped it. I take fish oil for my dry skin and it works very well, I highly recommend it. As soon as that pill slipped from my fingers, I thought “Well, that’s gone, I'll never be able to find it." They're kind of big gelcaps and they roll very industriously when dropped. I could feel my ears keening for the sound of the pill, in case I might be able to tell in which direction it scurried away, but that's when the little something happened. I heard the pill hit the floor, but then I felt something hit the top of my foot. I didn’t hear it hit the floor again after that, so I began to think I had gotten lucky. I bent down to feel for it, and sure enough, the pill had bounced right on top of my foot and caught in the folds of my pants where they bunch up there.
Pretty lucky, huh? Well, not really. I’ve said it before, I don’t believe in luck or coincidence any more. I had to give God a little thank you for that one. It was just a small thing, but it's those small things that can really make a big difference sometimes. Especially when you begin to notice how many of those little things happen each day.
I think it’s so important to take note of all the good things that happen to us each day, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. It can be hard, sometimes it just doesn’t seem like anything good is happening, but if you really try, you can always find something positive. And with a little practice, you’ll start noticing good things all around you. If you keep it up every day, the next thing you know, your whole outlook on life might start to change.
Humm, that just reminded me of one of my favorite songs:
I’m starting with the man in the mirror.
I’m asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer:
“If you want to make the world a better place,
take a look at yourself and make a change.”
Michael Jackson, “Man In the Mirror”
I can’t say it any better than that. Thanks MJ, and thank you, reader. See you next time.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
A few days ago, I posted some blind observations, and I was talking about dropping things, and how hard it is to find them if they bounce or roll away. Well, today I was trying to get a fish oil pill out of the bottle and I dropped it. I take fish oil for my dry skin and it works very well, I highly recommend it. As soon as that pill slipped from my fingers, I thought “Well, that’s gone, I'll never be able to find it." They're kind of big gelcaps and they roll very industriously when dropped. I could feel my ears keening for the sound of the pill, in case I might be able to tell in which direction it scurried away, but that's when the little something happened. I heard the pill hit the floor, but then I felt something hit the top of my foot. I didn’t hear it hit the floor again after that, so I began to think I had gotten lucky. I bent down to feel for it, and sure enough, the pill had bounced right on top of my foot and caught in the folds of my pants where they bunch up there.
Pretty lucky, huh? Well, not really. I’ve said it before, I don’t believe in luck or coincidence any more. I had to give God a little thank you for that one. It was just a small thing, but it's those small things that can really make a big difference sometimes. Especially when you begin to notice how many of those little things happen each day.
I think it’s so important to take note of all the good things that happen to us each day, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. It can be hard, sometimes it just doesn’t seem like anything good is happening, but if you really try, you can always find something positive. And with a little practice, you’ll start noticing good things all around you. If you keep it up every day, the next thing you know, your whole outlook on life might start to change.
Humm, that just reminded me of one of my favorite songs:
I’m starting with the man in the mirror.
I’m asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer:
“If you want to make the world a better place,
take a look at yourself and make a change.”
Michael Jackson, “Man In the Mirror”
I can’t say it any better than that. Thanks MJ, and thank you, reader. See you next time.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
How Do I Know God Loves Me?
Hmmm, that’s a good question! How do we know God cares about us? Well, take a look around you. Look at the beautiful world he created for us. Okay maybe it’s not as beautiful as it once was, but it’s not God’s fault we haven’t been good stewards!
Take a look at your own life. Can you identify any moments when you could feel his presence? I bet you can if you really try. I used to chalk these moments up to luck or coincidence. That’s because I was blind. Now that I can see, it is obvious to me that God has always been with me, guiding and protecting me. Let me point out some of the more obvious examples:
Where should I start? At the beginning, of course! After my parents had three children, they decided that was enough so Dad had a vasectomy. Two years later, I was born. Bad luck? Not hardly! That’s how I know I am more special than my siblings. Just kidding, that’s not true at all. God had a job for me, just like he had jobs for my brothers and sister. I couldn’t very well do my job if I was never born!
Okay, what else? One time, when I was in high school, I was driving around with some friends. There were five of us in the car. I won’t go into detail here, but it was winter and the highway was a little slippery. The car was going pretty fast when it started to slide. I really think that all five of us should have been killed that night, but instead the car stayed upright and came to stop in a nice soft snow drift. Luck? No, I don’t think so. I was never that lucky. God saved us that night.
There was another time a few years later. I was driving down Interstate 80 and getting a little sleepy. Finally my eyes closed. When they opened again, my car was driving down an off-ramp, right down the center of the lane. I couldn’t have driven that straight if I’d been awake. Up ahead was a stop sign, where the cross road was. On the other side of the cross road was a wooded area with lots of trees. My eyes opened with plenty of time to stop. Coincidence? Nope, no such thing.
So as you can see, I was a really bad driver. No wait, that’s not the point I was trying to make! Now, what was it…oh yes! God is always right there with us, no matter what we are doing or where we are. He is always guiding us and protecting us. And the really great thing is that even if you don’t believe in Him, He will still look out for you!
Look back over your own life. I’m sure you will remember times when you narrowly averted disaster, or when you just seemed to be in the right place at the right time. There is no such thing as coincidence or luck, everything happens according to His will! What a great feeling to know that He cares so much about us!
Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: Ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Take a look at your own life. Can you identify any moments when you could feel his presence? I bet you can if you really try. I used to chalk these moments up to luck or coincidence. That’s because I was blind. Now that I can see, it is obvious to me that God has always been with me, guiding and protecting me. Let me point out some of the more obvious examples:
Where should I start? At the beginning, of course! After my parents had three children, they decided that was enough so Dad had a vasectomy. Two years later, I was born. Bad luck? Not hardly! That’s how I know I am more special than my siblings. Just kidding, that’s not true at all. God had a job for me, just like he had jobs for my brothers and sister. I couldn’t very well do my job if I was never born!
Okay, what else? One time, when I was in high school, I was driving around with some friends. There were five of us in the car. I won’t go into detail here, but it was winter and the highway was a little slippery. The car was going pretty fast when it started to slide. I really think that all five of us should have been killed that night, but instead the car stayed upright and came to stop in a nice soft snow drift. Luck? No, I don’t think so. I was never that lucky. God saved us that night.
There was another time a few years later. I was driving down Interstate 80 and getting a little sleepy. Finally my eyes closed. When they opened again, my car was driving down an off-ramp, right down the center of the lane. I couldn’t have driven that straight if I’d been awake. Up ahead was a stop sign, where the cross road was. On the other side of the cross road was a wooded area with lots of trees. My eyes opened with plenty of time to stop. Coincidence? Nope, no such thing.
So as you can see, I was a really bad driver. No wait, that’s not the point I was trying to make! Now, what was it…oh yes! God is always right there with us, no matter what we are doing or where we are. He is always guiding us and protecting us. And the really great thing is that even if you don’t believe in Him, He will still look out for you!
Look back over your own life. I’m sure you will remember times when you narrowly averted disaster, or when you just seemed to be in the right place at the right time. There is no such thing as coincidence or luck, everything happens according to His will! What a great feeling to know that He cares so much about us!
Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: Ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Journal - Blind School
Well, I’ve been sitting here for about half an hour now, fiddling around, trying to think of what I want to write about today. I just have so many things going around in my head right now that I can’t seem to pin anything down. So I guess I’ll try to talk about that, okay? Okay.
Yesterday, I met with the technology person from the Nebraska Commission for the Blind. I don’t know if it would be appropriate to use her real name here, so I’ll call her Persephone. Persephone is the one who got me started on the JAWS software a few weeks ago. She installed the demo version for me and showed me some of the basic commands. I’ve always been a quick study on the computer so I’ve been able to pick up quite a bit on my own since then. Yesterday she showed me a couple of neat tricks though that will really help me navigate web pages.
She also brought a Victor Stream to show me. The Victor Stream is a device created especially for the blind. You can load audiobooks onto it and listen to them, but you can also put ebooks on it and it will read them to you using it’s own voice. AND it has a built in recorder so you can record notes for yourself, or if you’re a student you could record classes. The thing that makes it great for the blind is that it speaks whenever you press a button so you know what you did. Way cool device, but expensive.
Well, after showing me the VS, Persephone started pitching me on this blind school that they have in Lincoln. This wasn’t the first time they’ve mentioned it to me, but it’s the first time I’ve felt pressured to do it. I have so many different feelings about this that I can hardly see them individually.
If I knew I was going to be blind for the rest of my life I guessthis would be a no-brainer. I would definitely want to do this. But my blindness is temporary, so how much time do I want to spend learning to be blind? That’s a hard one. Maybe this would be a good experience for me even if I don’t use the skills I learn for very long.
I know the NCB only has so much money to spend, and they would much rather spend it on people who will try to further their education or get back into the workplace. This is perfectly logical, even if it’s a bit unfair. Frankly, I don’t really know where I’m headed right now. Since I went blind I have felt like I’m in limbo. Just waiting to see what’s going to happen next. Maybe it’s time to stop waiting around.
Then there’s my family to think of. Lincoln is about a two hour drive from where we live now. Persephone said the school can take as long as 9 months to complete. My family can visit anytime, but gas isn’t exactly cheap these days. And speaking of expenses, how much will I be responsible for? I know the commission will help with that, but do they cover everything?
And I would have to live there alone. Persephone said they have apartments for the students and you have to live there alone. I haven’t spent a single day alone since I went blind and frankly the idea scares the heck out of me. I know there would be people to call on if I needed something, but it takes time to build up trust in a complete stranger.
And on top of all that, what does God want me to do? Does He want me to learn how to be blind? Does He care one way or the other? Well, I know He cares, but is this something that would be important to Him? He is probably trying to give me an answer on this right now, but sometimes I have a hard time quieting my mind enough to hear Him.
Sigh. It seems I will never learn. God has shown me again and again that all my fears and worries are pointless because He will take care of everything. But I just keep right on worrying about things. Well, I’m only human after all.
On Thursday there’s another lady from the commission coming out to the house and I imagine we will talk about this some more. Maybe it will be a little clearer after that.
You know, I’m really starting to like this blogging thing. I’m finding that writing things down is a good way to sort things out when they get all jumbled up in my head. Was it a coincidence that I got JAWS and started doing this? Nope!
Thanks for reading, see you next time!
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.f
Yesterday, I met with the technology person from the Nebraska Commission for the Blind. I don’t know if it would be appropriate to use her real name here, so I’ll call her Persephone. Persephone is the one who got me started on the JAWS software a few weeks ago. She installed the demo version for me and showed me some of the basic commands. I’ve always been a quick study on the computer so I’ve been able to pick up quite a bit on my own since then. Yesterday she showed me a couple of neat tricks though that will really help me navigate web pages.
She also brought a Victor Stream to show me. The Victor Stream is a device created especially for the blind. You can load audiobooks onto it and listen to them, but you can also put ebooks on it and it will read them to you using it’s own voice. AND it has a built in recorder so you can record notes for yourself, or if you’re a student you could record classes. The thing that makes it great for the blind is that it speaks whenever you press a button so you know what you did. Way cool device, but expensive.
Well, after showing me the VS, Persephone started pitching me on this blind school that they have in Lincoln. This wasn’t the first time they’ve mentioned it to me, but it’s the first time I’ve felt pressured to do it. I have so many different feelings about this that I can hardly see them individually.
If I knew I was going to be blind for the rest of my life I guessthis would be a no-brainer. I would definitely want to do this. But my blindness is temporary, so how much time do I want to spend learning to be blind? That’s a hard one. Maybe this would be a good experience for me even if I don’t use the skills I learn for very long.
I know the NCB only has so much money to spend, and they would much rather spend it on people who will try to further their education or get back into the workplace. This is perfectly logical, even if it’s a bit unfair. Frankly, I don’t really know where I’m headed right now. Since I went blind I have felt like I’m in limbo. Just waiting to see what’s going to happen next. Maybe it’s time to stop waiting around.
Then there’s my family to think of. Lincoln is about a two hour drive from where we live now. Persephone said the school can take as long as 9 months to complete. My family can visit anytime, but gas isn’t exactly cheap these days. And speaking of expenses, how much will I be responsible for? I know the commission will help with that, but do they cover everything?
And I would have to live there alone. Persephone said they have apartments for the students and you have to live there alone. I haven’t spent a single day alone since I went blind and frankly the idea scares the heck out of me. I know there would be people to call on if I needed something, but it takes time to build up trust in a complete stranger.
And on top of all that, what does God want me to do? Does He want me to learn how to be blind? Does He care one way or the other? Well, I know He cares, but is this something that would be important to Him? He is probably trying to give me an answer on this right now, but sometimes I have a hard time quieting my mind enough to hear Him.
Sigh. It seems I will never learn. God has shown me again and again that all my fears and worries are pointless because He will take care of everything. But I just keep right on worrying about things. Well, I’m only human after all.
On Thursday there’s another lady from the commission coming out to the house and I imagine we will talk about this some more. Maybe it will be a little clearer after that.
You know, I’m really starting to like this blogging thing. I’m finding that writing things down is a good way to sort things out when they get all jumbled up in my head. Was it a coincidence that I got JAWS and started doing this? Nope!
Thanks for reading, see you next time!
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.f
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