Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Journal - Recap

Okay, so I already talked about how I met Lion Lady at the dentist’s office that day, was that in July, or was it August? Anyway we got to talking and she said that the Lions would pay for my surgery. I said that was great but I was really more concerned with all the doctor visits before and after the surgery. She said the Lions would pay for that too. I thought that over for a few days and then I called her up and said “Let’s do it!” So she gave me the contact info for the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, and I called and made an appointment for September 20.

Meanwhile, Lion Lady was researching my case and learning about my goofy Medicaid and all that. She learned that if I had some kind of insurance policy, even if it was just a cancer policy or something, with a monthly premium of $277 or so, that I would qualify for no-cost Medicaid. So she called me and said the Lions could get me a policy and pay the premium for six months or so and then all my medical expenses would be covered for that period of time. I told her that was a great idea. Soon after that, I heard from Lion Lady again. She said she had approached her group with my case and they had offered a one-time payment of $125 toward my doctor bills. That all happened before my first trip to Omaha on September 20. Lion Lady said she would keep working on it, so I went ahead and made the trip with the $125 they had given me, which ended up being about one-tenth of the total cost for that visit.

I can’t remember the exact chain of events after that, but here’s the gist of it. Lion Lady called to tell me that her group had agreed to pay $350 toward my deductible for one month, and that the national Lions group would match that, for a total of $700 which would almost cover my deductible for one month. The next time I talked to her, she didn’t sound like she understood my situation at all. She said the Lions were going to pay $1400, and that they would apply that to whichever month I had the most expense. I tried to explain that my out-of-pocket expense would never be more than $788, because that’s what my deductible is, but she didn’t seem to understand that. And she talked about $1400 as if we had spoken of it before. It was a very confusing conversation. Anyway, sometime during all this, I had my second appointment in Omaha on October 13. I think that last conversation took place shortly after that appointment.

That was the last time I spoke with Lion Lady, but apparently she told my mom that the Lions were going to pay for my surgery, but no doctor bills at all. That’s kind of silly because the surgery won’t cost me any more than the doctor visits.

So to summarize, here’s what I have heard:

1. The Lions will pay for your surgery and all your doctor visits.
2. The Lions will get you an insurance policy and all your medical expenses will be covered.
3. The Lions will pay $125 and that’s it.
4. The Lions will pay $700 toward one month’s deductible.
5. The Lions will pay $1400 toward whichever month you have the most expense.
6. The Lions will pay for surgery, but no doctor visits.

I’m pretty frustrated. I was supposed to go back to Omaha today, November 10, for my third visit, but I cancelled the appointment. The only reason I went to Omaha was because the Lions told me to. Since they’re not paying for it, I figure I may as well get this done closer to home, in Kearney or Hastings. I’m also debating on whether or not I should just wait until April when I will be eligible for Medicare. I don’t know if the Medicare will be any better than Medicaid, but it can’t be any worse.

Part of me wishes I had never run into Lion Lady at the dentist’s office that day. I was waiting patiently, and everything was fine. Now everything feels all screwed up again. Another part of me, or maybe it’s the same part, is angry at God. Sometimes I feel like I have been completely abandoned, even though the other part of me knows that isn’t true. It sort of feels like I am right back at square one.

Oh well, the sun will continue to rise each morning (probably), my body will continue to draw breath each day (supposedly), and the earth will keep spinning on its axis (presumeably). Maybe on one of those days that are most likely coming, something good will happen.


  1. I'm not angry at God because I know HIS PLAN IS NOT OUR PLAN!
    It has been YOUR plan all along to see again. Sure I want you to see again, but again, I can not question what God has planned!

    I know there was a big accident on I-80 today and it was closed down for hours. We would have been on that route! So you know, God has not forgotten you. You just need to listen to HIM and stop listening to others.

    But hey, I'm just a yo-yo. (a reference I used in my blog)

    A roller coaster ride for sure. :(

  2. 1 Cor. 9: 10 Or saith he it altogether for our sakes? For our sakes, no doubt, this is written: that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of his hope.

    Matt. 14:31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

    Rom.14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

    Luke 12:29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

    Remember these words? "God said everything will be okay."

    He's offering them to you once again.

    I love you.

  3. Wow. While I know God has a plan, I think it's normal to be angry every once in awhile. I think God knows it's not really anger at him per se but anger at the situation.

    Have you heard of 'The Shack'? It's a very, very different spin on God, but I loved it. It brought me a lot of comfort.

    Hang in there, feel those feelings because the only way to get on the other side of them is to walk through them. *hugs*