Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Men's Fraternity Week 17

Men’s Fraternity
Week #17 XXX


  • Pornography has a stranglehold on the American Culture!
  • Stats from Lifeway Research and Education Database. (Jan 2013)

    • $3,075.63 is spent on pornography every second.
    • Most popular weekday for viewing porn is Sunday.
    • Percentage of men age 18-34 that visit porn sites in a given month - 70%
    • Percentage of Christian men who view porn regularly - 70%
    • Percentage of men who say viewing porn is acceptable behavior - 67%

Men of all ages, ethnicities, professions and income levels are willingly infecting their hearts and minds with images that are addictive, destructive, and in some cases, criminal.

Matthew 5:27
Jesus addressed this issue: ”You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’”
  1. Sexuality is where we are most vulnerable; we experience the most shame and exhibit the greatest secrecy.
  2. In the past you had to go our of your way to acquire pornography, today you have to go out of your way to avoid sexual images.
  3. Perceived anonymity and pervasive accessibility has made pornography bigger than ever before.


a. Susceptible Brains
  • God designed our brains to be stimulated visually by the beauty of the female body.

Proverbs 5:15-19
”Drink from the water of your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in love.”

  • When a man views pornography, pleasure chemicals are released in his brain in amounts that far exceed normal levels.
  • You quickly build up a tolerance to the same old stuff you’ve seen and to get the old high you’ll have to push the boundaries.
  • You are not alone. This should strike shame at its root because we are all in the same boat and have the capacity for this stuff.

b. Disconnected Hearts
  • Pornography is an outward act indicating a deeper need in us. The deep need is intimacy with God and others.
  • A man disconnected from God and others is a man either struggling with or extremely vulnerable to sexual temptation.
  • A man connected to God and trustworthy men, you will find a man nobly fighting the battle of lust.


a. We’ve got to ADMIT the sin and pursue ruthless honesty beginning with ourselves and with trustworthy men.
  • Breaking the hold comes when we remove our mask and provide opportunity for truth and hope.

Psalm 32:3-5
”When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity, I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.’”

  • When we don’t share, our hearts are disconnected, we live life alone and in isolation - turn to pornography to medicate our pain.

b. Identify the broken promises (lies) of pornography.
  • To change we have to go beyond the “what” of our sin [I am looking at porn] and get to the “why” [porn promises to meet some need in me].

Matthew 15:19-20
”For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.”

c. Move from the broken promises of lust to repentance to something better.

2 Corinthians 7:10
”For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”

  • Worldly grief – produces death.
    • Negative consequences of pornography do not produce change because they lack the ability to affect repentance. Must go beyond saying, “I have sinned.”
  • Godly grief produces repentance leading to salvation…
    • Repentance is what happens on the inside; it is not an effort to change behavior through a process of steps or muscle training.

Colossians 3:5
”Put to death therefore what is earthly in you, sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness which is idolatry.”
    • Repentance involves a change of authority, and adjustment in who rules.

John 8:34, 36
”Truly, truly, I say to you everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
    • We are so powerless to make change that repentance is impossible apart from God’s work.

Jeremiah 13:23
Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots? Then also you can do good who are accustomed to do evil.

Matthew 5:3
”Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
    • Repentance is a call for brokenness and a radically inward change toward God.

Psalm 51:17
”The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise.”


Reflect on this statement: “Show me a man disconnected from God, from his wife, and from others and I’ll show you a man either struggling with, or extremely vulnerable to, sexual temptation. But show me a man connected to God, his wife, and trustworthy men and I’ll show you a man who has a chance to fight the noble fight.” What are you experiencing? Discuss.

How does the above relate to Proverbs 18:1 “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”?

Have you known “worldly sorrow” or “Godly sorrow” when dealing with sin? Discuss the difference.

Which of the 3 Deep Idols [control, significance, and comfort] is at the root of your battle with sexual temptation? What false promise can lust use to lure you (i.e. escape, validation, power, acceptance, comfort)?

Share with your group one or two strategic moves that you need to make in order to apply what you have learned in this session.

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