Saturday, September 26, 2009

More History

Hi! Welcome to Drums In The Deep. If this is your first visit I encourage you to read the older posts below or this one won’t make as much sense.

Last week I talked briefly about the kind of childhood I had. I mentioned that I grew up going to church but none of it really took hold until much later in my life. This week, I thought I would expand on that a little bit.

In high school I had been a pretty good kid. I was an ‘A’ student and got along pretty well with my family. Didn’t hang around with the wrong crowd or anything like that. I earned some scholarships and went off to college with high hopes. But that was when the trouble started.

Since I was now an ‘adult’ and could make my own decisions, I decided to stop going to church. At college, I spent most of my time drinking and partying instead of studying. Inevitably, I flunked out my first year. Not long after that I got in trouble with the law for stealing. Yep, as an adult I was an immediate success.

Then it was discovered that my dad had cancer. That was in April of 1995. My family and I spent the next six months watching him slowly die, and by October he was gone. He was 50 years old and I was 24.

To cap things off, not long after Dad died I got a girl pregnant. It felt like the whole world was crashing down around me. The little amount of faith I had was eroding fast. The world was chipping away at it and I was doing nothing to reinforce it, see?

Well, guess what I did next; I made like an egg and beat it. Just ran away. I ran away from the pain of my father’s death; ran away from all the mistakes I had made and the trouble I had caused.

That seemed like a good plan, but oddly enough running away didn’t make my problems go away. It didn’t stop me from creating new problems either. Soon enough, I met someone and married her, more out of desperation than love I think. Three years later I was divorced.

I’m not trying to impress you with what a hard life I had or anything like that, I’m just setting the scene for you. By this time I had completely convinced myself that God did not exist. I wasn’t just doubting, I was sure of it. Where was the proof after all? Well, eventually God slapped me upside the head and gave me all the proof I needed, but that was still several years away.

So why am I writing all this down? Because I want you to understand how far from God I had fallen. And also to point out again that even though I gave up on Him, He never gave up on me.

Some of you may have read a book by Stephen King called ‘The Stand’. There is one scene in this book that I think of often. Nick and his companions have been drawn to the home of Abigail Fremantle in Hemingford Home, Nebraska by some inexplicable force. Upon their arrival, Nick and Mother Abigail sit down to talk, at which time she explains to him some of the things that are going to happen. When Nick asks how she knows all this, she tells him frankly that it is God’s plan. Nick says, “I don’t believe in God.” Mother Abigail just laughs and says, “It doesn’t matter Nick. He believes in YOU.”

I can’t put it much better than that. And I see that I’ve been rambling on quite long enough for today so I think I’ll stop here for now. Just remember this:



  1. Wow. I commented on your first blog, after finding you while sarching for other blind people. I cannot believe how similar our stories are! I see that you have a fiance who was with you when you went blind? Did I interpret that correctly? I too have someone who was with me when I was sighted, and still is. And, you lost your father in your early twenties, I lost my mother. I had run, denounced God, turned to drinking. 4.5 years ago, I found God again, and you are right, He never left me. I just can't believe how similar our stories are. I would love to know how you went blind, if I can ask. I went blind from multiple sclerosis, and my story is also on my blog. I think my blog shows up on the comments? If not, let me know. I am so happy to find another who lost vision, but didn't lose self.

    Hope you write again soon,

  2. Hi Randi,
    I'm the fiance and just wanted to give you a big hug. I'm so glad the Lord drew you here and you can share in knowing you're not alone.
    Steven will give more details as he goes along.

    God Bless you R, :-)


  3. Hi Randi, I'm glad you found your way here! I asked God to lead people here and sure enough people are showing up! I will definitely be writing more and hope you will continue to read. Thanks for commenting!