Monday, September 24, 2012

Endings and Beginnings

Well, here it is, officially fall already. This summer just seemed to whiz by. Our beautiful flower gardens are now mostly dried up and dead, our one and only watermelon has been picked and consumed. The corn fields are dried up and harvest has begun. The pumpkins are still producing but I know that soon enough they will be gone too. I’m at the end of one of the most enjoyable summers of my life and that’s kind of sad as endings usually are.

Let’s do a little catching up shall we?

On Thursday, September 14, I had my checkup with Dr. Feilmeier in Kearney. It had been two months since I last saw him and things had been going well so I wasn’t expecting much news one way or the other.

The Doctor’s assistant took us in and tested me out on the eye chart and everything as usual. She put up a line on the chart and I read it, then she brought up the next line and I read that, then she put up a third and I read that one too. Then she said, “Great, we’re all done!” I was thinking “Why are we stopping, I wasn’t even struggling yet?” Imagine my surprise when she told me that was the 20/20 line! Back in July I had been testing at about 20/25 with my new glasses. That was much better than I had ever expected to see again and I wasn’t really expecting more than that. I guess God had other ideas! When Dr. Feilmeier came in he was looking at my chart and said, “Are you just showing off now or what?” I could tell he was genuinely happy for me. Happy for himself a bit too I think at having completed such a successful surgery and recovery, but also genuinely happy for me. Joni told him I had my driver’s license and he seemed sincerely happy about that too. “That’s a big step up from that stick you used to carry around isn’t it?” he commented. Then we looked at some pictures of his new baby boy, who was born around the time of my last visit in July, and we were all done. I remember back in 2008 when we had decided to move up here from Dallas and I had been wondering how I would ever find another doctor as wonderful as Dr. Hargrave, who had been taking care of my eyes for about 7 years. God was in control though, and I ended up with one that I like and trust just as much, if not more. I am reminded, once again, of Jeremiah 29:11 which says ”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

So I’m seeing 20/20 now. With that kind of vision it seems like I should be able to read anything with no trouble at all, but I do still struggle with some things. I still can’t read my comic books, for instance, without my magnifying glass. I guess that’s because the fonts are kind of funny and the contrast isn’t very good, often black on blue or purple or something instead of black on white. I don’t have any trouble at the computer unless the font is very small. I can read books and papers pretty well as long as the print isn’t too small and there’s plenty of light. Still, I’m seeing much better than I ever thought I would and you won’t hear any complaints out of me.

Last Thursday, the 20th, I got call from Walmart for a job interview. I had applied there back on August 27. I went in on the 21st for my interview and it went reasonably well. It sounded like they were prepared to offer me a job pending background and drug tests. I had told them I couldn’t drive in the dark and they sounded like they would be willing to work around that. I was there for a little over an hour and then they sent me out to a place on the east edge of Kearney that does their drug screenings for them. The manager at Walmart had told me that the test results would take a couple of days and that I should hear from them this week. Well, first thing this morning they called and asked if I could come in for orientation. The job is mine! My orientation is on Wednesday. Tomorrow I’ll have to run in and get some clothes; more jeans as I have only one decent pair, and some plain navy blue t-shirts. I suppose I’ll also have to get something warm for the winter sometime soon.

This is not a very glamorous job, I’ll be one of those people who gathers up the shopping carts from the parking lot and brings them back up to the store. Also, it pays minimum wage, which may end up being a little less than I’m getting from social security. But if this is where God wants me right now, then this is where I’ll be and I will do the job for God like it says in 1 Corinthians 10:31 ”So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” There is a plus side: I think this will be a nice easy job for me to kind of ease my way back into the work force. And who knows where it will lead. I’m guessing most Walmart employees start out as either cart-pullers or working the checkout. I would much rather be pulling carts than doing checkout. I’ll stick to my old standby here: If you don’t appreciate what God gives you, then you have no reason to expect something more, or something better. If I do this job as well as I can, and do it for God, then perhaps he will give me something better at some point. Matthew 25:21 ”His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much…”

So, I stand here on the brink of the next stage of my life. I’ll admit I’m scared. Endings are often sad, and new beginnings often are scary because you just never know what will happen. The last year of my life has been a happy and comfortable one, recovering from my surgery and enjoying my returned vision. The garden was a lot of fun this summer. Now it’s time to move on to the next thing. God likes to challenge us with new things now and then. That’s what keeps us growing and developing in our relationship with Him. It is my task, and all of ours, to trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. And really, how could I not trust Him? A year ago I was blind, and now I’m seeing 20/20. Last spring I had a 3-month long infection in my eye that left no damage at all. He has carried me through everything, and I’ve never gone hungry, never had to live on the streets, never really wanted for anything. No one on Earth could do all that for me, only God, my provider, my rock, my salvation. Psalms 118:8-9 ”It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.”


  1. What a wonderful glorious journey.
    I know you're up to the task that God has for you, don't let Him down!

  2. Oh my. To God be the glory, great things He has done. God, who knows the heart, has blest you with the brilliance of sight, with those who love and care about you and now a job that will put you outside--as opposed to always inside--around other people where you can show them God's love, and days off which you can use to rest and adjust. He truly guides the faithful in every day of your life.