Holiday Blues

Hi there. Well, after my writing frenzy last week, I just haven’t been in the mood these last couple of days. I think I have a case of the post-holiday blues. I know, I know, the holidays aren’t over yet, but that’s how I feel.

Ever since sometime around Thanksgiving, we’ve been planning and preparing for our party on the 19th. Well, the 19th came and went and has left me feeling a little empty. I don't feel disappointed exactly; Saturday was a great day and I enjoyed it a lot. But now the excitement is over, and I feel a little blue, that’s all. Maybe if I talk about Saturday, I'll feel a little better.

I already told you about going to church on Saturday morning to pick up the food they gave us. That was a really good feeling, knowing that God was looking out for us in that way. After that, we came home and started getting things ready for our party. We had decided to keep things simple and just have chicken fajitas and let everyone build their own. So, all we really had to do was chop up all the vegetables; onions and tomatoes and black olives and all that stuff. Three days later, my hands still smell like onion, yuck!

Brenna’s violin recital was at two o’clock, so we had to leave at one fifteen. The recital was put on by a violin teacher who was basically showcasing her students. They ranged from beginners, like Brenna, up to more advanced students. Brenna performed with a group of other first years. They played “Jolly Old St Nicholas” and “Good King Wenceslaus” and they sounded great! The rest of the program was various soloists, including a couple of adults who were learning the violin. I really enjoyed hearing Brenna play. I’m so glad she’s learning an instrument, and I hope she can get as much enjoyment from it as I have over the years. The recital was held in a nursing home which I thought was pretty nice.

Then it was back home again to finish our preparations. We still had a little time to kill, so I ran through “O Holy Night” and “Where Are You Christmas?” a few more times. I was still having trouble with those two, but I had done my best.

My family started showing up at 5:30. They’re a very punctual bunch. Joni finished getting the food ready and we all sat down to eat. The food was good, and the company was great. Joni cleaned up a bit and then it was time for me to play.

I was so nervous that I was actually trembling so the first couple of songs didn’t sound that great, but I finally began to calm down a little and the next few songs sounded pretty good. Then it was time for “O Holy Night.”

Well, guess what? I nailed it! I can’t even describe how I felt when I realized that I was hitting all the notes. In fact, I nailed it so well, that I started to laugh and I almost couldn’t finish the song. It's so hard to describe that feeling. It was like the whole room dropped away, and it was just me and the music. I guess that’s what people mean when they talk about being “in the zone.” I suppose it sounds a little silly, but it was kind of an emotional moment for me. After the song ended, the laughter that was bubbling up inside me, turned to tears. Well, luckily the next ong had a long intro and I pulled myself together in time.

The next song was “Where Are You Christmas?” and I messed it up, but I didn’t even care. The last three songs went fine though, and then it was over. Everyone sat around talking for a while after that, and then wenthome. Joni and I were way too wired to go to bed so we stayed up for a while. It had been a really great day.

Sunday, after we got home from church, I realized that I didn’t need to practice any more and I just kind of fell into a funk. On Monday, I decided to play anyway, and that helped a little bit, but it just wasn’t the same. I'm feeling a little better today, though, and there’s still Christmas day to look forward to. My family always gathers at Brad’s house and this will be my first Christmas with them in 8 or 9 years. That will be fun, although I feel bad that Joni can’t be with her family too. They live all the way over in Baltimore and there’s just no way for us to get there. God has his reasons for putting us where we are, and I guess we'll just have to trust in Him.

Well, this might be my last post before Christmas, so I am going to take a moment here to wish you and your family the most joyous Christmas imagineable. As you are opening your gifts, try to take a moment to think about that most wonderful gift of all that was given to us by God.

Merry Christmas, and God bless you!

Luke 2:8-14 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Going Blind- Part 2

Let’s see now, where was I? Oh yes I remember; blind in my left eye but still with good vision in the right.

I was divorced by this time and had met Joni although she was still living in Baltimore. The thing that really helped me was knowing that the damage to my eye was not permanent. My cornea was ruined, but corneas can be transplanted. It was a lot of waiting though. My doctor had to make sure the infection was totally healed and would not come back before she would do any surgery.

Now, I want to explain how these transplants work. Once a cornea has been removed from the donor it can only be stored for five days. So the surgery is scheduled a month in advance without really knowing if there will be a cornea available or not. The day before the surgery they call you to let you know if they got one. Unfortunately I didn’t know that. My doctor never explained it and it never even occurred to me to ask.

I was so excited as the day of my surgery approached. I was living in Dallas at this time and Mom was driving all the way down from Nebraska to be there with me. The day before the surgery, they called me and said they did not have a cornea for me. I was flabbergasted to say the least. I had to call Mom and give her the news (she was more than halfway to Texas by then). She decided to turn around and go back so she could save her vacation time for when the surgery really happened. Years later she told me she felt bad about turning back but I totally agreed with her decision.

Anyway that was in January 2003, I think. They went ahead and re-scheduled the surgery for February. I began getting my hopes up all over again even though I tried not to.

The day before my surgery arrived again and this time I was prepared. I wasn’t going to let them surprise me again so I called that morning and asked if they had a cornea for me. They did! I was so excited! Mom was on the road again and I called her right away so she wouldn’t have to worry.

That afternoon the doctor’s office called me back. The cornea didn’t pass all the tests. Tests?? Yep, the cornea has to be tested for HIV and other things. That makes perfect sense but I didn’t know about that at the time. I was beyond crushed. I knew Mom was only a couple of hours away by then and I didn’t have the heart to call her so I just let her drive the rest of the way. The doctor wanted to re-schedule again but I said no. I just couldn’t go through it again.

In May of that year, Joni and Adam came to Dallas to live with me and Joni started talking me into re-scheduling the surgery. I finally relented in October and they scheduled me for November.

This time everything worked out. I got my new cornea on November 7. The doctor said I could take the bandage off the next morning, and when I did I could see! I had almost perfect vision in both eyes again after waiting for two years. Maybe God was just waiting until Joni was with me so I wouldn’t be alone for this. Certainly He was trying to teach me patience.

Well, obviously this is STILL not the end of the story but I will have to leave it here for this week. I warned you that this might take awhile. I hope you’ll come back to hear the rest!


Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.